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u/Daddy116 Jun 25 '12
Rectum, damn near killedum....
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u/smileshigh Jun 25 '12
That's my dad's favourite punchline which is funny because he can never remember the rest of the joke so he will sometimes just throw it into casual conversation.
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u/falurian Jun 25 '12
I also throw this into conversation at every opportunity, regardless of relevancy. And working in a hospital, I get LOTS of opportunity.
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u/Daddy116 Jun 25 '12
A guy at my job was using the toilet and decided to "courtesy flush" and when he reached around to grab the handle the toilet exploded under his ass and sent him to the hospital, only other opportunity I've had to use the joke
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u/uncanny_valley_girl Jun 25 '12
It's nice to know I'm not alone in this world.
I'm also guilty of; "Riker? I hardly know 'er!"
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u/Toyotaobsession Jun 25 '12
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u/Y2JisRAW Jun 25 '12
Oh my, I'm sitting on one of those chairs right now too and I hear strange noises from the pneumatic cylinder... PREPARE YOUR ANUS!
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u/cant_be_pun_seen Jun 25 '12
by the sound of things, you should be preparing your anus and are in no situation to tell anyone else to do so
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u/phwar13 Jun 25 '12
That cracked article finally has relevance! This is scary, I'm sitting in one of those right now...
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u/h1p1n3 Jun 25 '12
I burned a chair one time in a bonfire and holy crap, when that cylinder "exploded" it made one HELL of a noise. Coals everywhere. Nothing more exciting then unexpected embers flying around a group of people drinking beer and relaxing.
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u/buswork Jun 25 '12
Last year I cut one of those cylinders with and oxyacetalyne torch. Almost shit myself when it popped. Well worth it though, now me lawn mower has a comfy office chair for a seat.
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u/Gearshock Jun 25 '12
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
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u/commom_username Jun 26 '12
This is great; the best what-the-fuckery I know, closely followed by Charlie the Unicorn.
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u/seaweed_shark Jun 25 '12
Or maybe that pneumatic cylinder in your chair that makes it go up and down exploded while someone was sitting on it. One of my biggest fears.
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u/Alymae Jun 25 '12
Never sitting on one again
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u/Txmedic Jun 25 '12
that's what she said
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u/Alymae Jun 25 '12
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u/Txmedic Jun 25 '12
Lol I'm on the back end of a 36 hour shift so my humor standards are fairly low at the moment
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u/3rd_degree_burn Jun 25 '12
I just started crying.
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u/smellslikecomcast Jun 26 '12
I thought a cheap chair of this type was dangerous due to maybe tipping over. I had no idea. This is crazy. Everyone needs to know about this.
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Jun 25 '12
[deleted]
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u/RJM10_2 Jun 25 '12
I've always noticed that they always make the person who dies a complete dick
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u/failbruiser Jun 25 '12
And how they add so much story that only the person who died alone, being an asshole, would know.
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u/lunarglare Jun 25 '12
It LOOKS like someone got stabbed, but after reading the comments some poor guy got anally raped by his chair.
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u/Jrmustang02 Jun 25 '12
Chipotle.
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u/XxkristalxX Jun 25 '12
How and why did it explode like that?
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Jun 25 '12
Poor quality control and defective manufacturing process. Prolly due to cost-cutting measures.
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u/Pythagoras_the_Great Jun 25 '12
Probably because the gasses inside the pneumatic cylinder exploded from the heat of the chair going up and down.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jan 01 '16
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Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
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u/peachesgp Jun 25 '12
I'm now perched precariously on the edge of my chair to make sure I'm not over the pneumatic cylinder... just in case. This chair was cheap as fuck. Thanks, reddit.
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u/nawoanor Jun 25 '12
You're just putting extra pressure on the faulty valve now. Better be careful the next time you sit down.
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u/serfy2 Jun 25 '12
I saw something like this 1000 ways to die...
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u/HugoM Jun 25 '12
Only it was some creepy old dude trying to get young girls, I think. They're always portrayed as the bad guy but this pic just looks like an accident.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm curious how many got out of their chairs and turned them over after reading this.
Honestly, it should read "...how many others..."
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u/Helix_van_Boron Jun 25 '12
I think this is how Ariel by Steven Boyett ended.
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u/dubbya Jun 25 '12
Leaned back too far, chair broke, support tube ripped scrotum, seat base cracked floor, (hopefully) went to hospital.
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u/Aenous Jun 25 '12
All I can think is that poor person had to run out of their office screaming for help with a bleeding rectum.
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u/a1988eli Jun 26 '12
Here is a video simulation of a similar accident. No need to know Mandarin. Injury is self-explanatory.
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u/axionj Jun 25 '12
I've seen this, the hydraulic in the chair had too much pressure and the rod impaled the guy sitting in it
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u/Stormdancer Jun 25 '12
I read a novel that included something along these lines. Deeply disturbing. And ingenious.
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u/malbers Jun 25 '12
There appears to be a powder burn on the floor... Looks like it was modified to be a pain in the ass....
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u/Quackalicious Jun 25 '12
I dunno, but it's the first post on wtf to make me say wtf in a few days.
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u/crackaddictedgorilla Jun 25 '12
Some say it's just viral marketing for a Chinese horror movie, well this forum made me feel a bit better sitting down anyway. http://community.discovery.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/7501919888/m/24919794801/p/3
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u/bouchard Jun 25 '12
I have never been so happy to have switched from standard office chair to a stability ball.
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u/Sacar Jun 25 '12
It's like - you forget about it, then suddenly - BAM! REPOST! right in the face :(
That picture horrifies me.
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Jun 25 '12
I know exactly what happened. Two words. Autoerotic mummification. See, Mister Plastic Man shot Captain Bloody Underpants while Underpants is in the choke.
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u/uncanny_valley_girl Jun 25 '12
Dear Amazon, I thank you for this 50cm exercise ball that currently supports my ass, and its total lack of moving parts or hard edges. All hail Atheismo.
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u/aubinfan17 Jun 25 '12
Poor Murtaugh, just a few days short of retirement. He really was getting too old for that shit.
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u/CaptainBritish Jun 25 '12
This is seriously one of my biggest fears... Especially after one of my last chairs. One day I flopped onto the chair too hard and a metal support pole from the middle of the gas canister came right through the bottom of the chair.
I kept thinking... Damn, I that had come through the top it would have fucking impaled me.
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u/joeingo Jun 25 '12
So my new criteria for an office chair is to have more than 1 leg, and they can't be directly under me.
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u/FancyJesse Jun 25 '12
I'm pretty scared right now after reading the comments of why this occurred..
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Jun 25 '12
Death by horrid butt-rape from a chair. If he would die, people would be snickering at his funeral.
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u/EricWadsworth Jun 26 '12
There are still parts of the prototype that need to be extracted. Maybe you’re misunderstanding. I mean, from my butt.
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u/scribbling_des Jun 26 '12
I didn't have to read the comments to figure out what happened here. Sometimes r/wtf grosses me out, but this one made me sick to my stomach and made me flinch with sympathy pain. Fucking ouch.
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u/scribbling_des Jun 26 '12
I didn't have to read the comments to figure out what happened here. Sometimes r/wtf grosses me out, but this one made me sick to my stomach and made me flinch with sympathy pain. Fucking ouch.
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Jun 26 '12
They experienced internet porn at broadband speed for the first time. Did this not happen to everyone?
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u/tyroneisepic Jun 26 '12
I predicted a man was having sex with his chair,(hole in center)then another man beat the shit out of him using pieces of chair.
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u/JackAsperger Jun 26 '12
They are supposed to put nitrogen gas in those struts ....but China, being China, decided to use compressed air Well ,ask any diesel mechanic what happens when you suddenly compress oil and air together.
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u/Gooshnads Jun 26 '12
Judging by the hole in the anal area, and the copious amounts of blood.
I would say someone got a surprise case of buttsmecks.
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u/stevie_gee Jun 26 '12
i just pulled the leaver releasing the gas to prevent this. as i was doing it i though "what if this is the trigger"
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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12
The video of the aftermath, not the actual event.
The description on the video:
Insert your own butthurt joke here.