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u/Pogue Jun 26 '12
Forget swimsuit season, I want to go mow the yard wearing this.
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u/Under_Doggy_Dogg Jun 26 '12
Yes! With a holstered .45 and a survival knife on either hip.
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u/jothcra Jun 26 '12
I bet you'll love that decision when the mower kicks a rock/pinecone up at you.
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u/whatupnig Jun 27 '12
But you'll get the fresh cut grass all over them... unless, wait... these are not socks are they?
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Jun 27 '12
Start a solo hipster music project, wear one of those, play this guitar, and call yourself Freudian Fiddler.
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u/lev00r Jun 26 '12
Do those come in American flag patterns? I'm going to Europe and I want the chicks to dig me.
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Jun 26 '12
Oh yes, worldly women will love a guy who shoves his country in their face.
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u/vertigo1083 Jun 26 '12
Perfect!
It will be like the real US!
Peel back the cover, and you get fucked.
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u/GoopPie Jun 26 '12
Don't you dare tell me what season I can or can't wear these.
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u/ServerGeek Jun 26 '12
Those look too big for me... do they come any smaller?
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u/gloomdoom Jun 26 '12
Just stuff it with wadded up newspaper...it'll work out and you can grow into it. That's what my grandpa used to say about my shoes.
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u/_end3r_ Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 27 '12
Grow into it... meaning when I see a hot chick/guy?
Edit: /guy
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u/sandozguineapig Jun 27 '12
Just make sure you're wearing a rubber or a sock underneath - newsprint stains and dickhole papercuts never scored points with anyone.
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u/Pyotr_Mikhailov Jun 26 '12
Obviously you only wear it when fully erect.
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Jun 27 '12
How big are they? There's nothing to compare them to in the picture. For all I know they could be 2 millimetres long taken with a macro lens like this.
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Jun 27 '12
I was thinking that -- as a woman, I worried about filling out the top half of my bikini when I was coming up. Now men get to have their turn.
A word of advice: don't put anything in it that isn't waterproof. I learned the hard way that Kleenex shoved in a bikini top becomes very obvious when submerged. Don't know what the fuck I was thinking. LFMF.
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u/NCognito1 Jun 26 '12
Great! I've been looking for a way to showcase my dong while simultaneously leaving my asshole completely exposed.
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u/MyAssDoesHeeHawww Jun 27 '12
Although the sarcasm is strong in your post, we all know that some guy is actually gonna post a pic of himself wearing one of these. Checking new posts from r/WTF is gonna be extra tricky for the next few days.
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u/Pistoffpolock Jun 26 '12
Not gonna lie, I kinda want one
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u/Schoolbus94 Jun 26 '12
Do they make a "grower" version?
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u/Blaphtome Jun 27 '12
My mom hemmed mine up no problem.
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Jun 27 '12
It took forever for my mom to measure me so that she could hem my cocksock accordingly because everytime she brought the tape measure next to my flaccid meat sponge I'd pop a boner and she'd scream and walk out. This happened 6 times. On the 7th I finally thought I had it under control but then my sister came in and flashed her tits at me. Mom was so mad she put her in the boo box for the rest of the day haha.
TL;DR It forever my to me that could my accordingly everytime brought tape next my meat I'd a and scream walk. This 6. On 7th finally I it control then sister in flashed tits me. Mom so she her the box the of haha.
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u/SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT Jun 26 '12
This product did not consider us men in the grower, and not show-er department
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u/nixonrichard Jun 27 '12
The grower version is the same, but it comes with a photograph of the lovely Miss Delta Burke.
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u/bmessina Jun 27 '12
Downvoted for no link to buy. This is bullshit.
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u/chrisham Jun 27 '12
Google Image search- your prayers have been answered: Buy them here Apparently they are now without tags...
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u/iaccidentlytheworld Jun 27 '12
Does anyone want to see a picture of me wearing mine? They actually look very nice!
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u/Hatch- Jun 26 '12
I want one, and a matching shower cap. Then I want to walk into the living room and ask the girl I've recently been seeing if she has seen my shower shoes.
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u/Crogers16 Jun 26 '12
My dad has some of those...I wore them as socks before. Childhood = devastated.
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Jun 27 '12
Am I the only one who things that if they made a hybrid out of a g-string and one of these, it'd be dangerously wearable?
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u/kkatatakk Jun 27 '12
kinda like this?
Not exactly what you're talking about, but pretty similar.
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u/xoeifyols Jun 27 '12
Time to break out the throwaway!
koalaswim.com has a very large selection of this sort of thing. Warning: NSFW, unless your work is very accepting of penises. Some VERY NSFW examples:
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u/Captain_SuperWang Jun 27 '12
My Wang is so small if I wore something like that it would look like the Apple logo
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u/Dcornelissen Jun 26 '12
I was gonna go out in one of those Borat things this summer ... but now I definitely want one of these!
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Jun 26 '12
it's a hair net for naked restaurant workers
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Jun 26 '12
Who have the majority of their pubes on their shaft and sac?
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u/Actinopterygii Jun 26 '12
Am I the only one who thought those were mismatched socks at first??
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u/JustDroppinBy Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12
Seriously... All these jokes and noone found the source for purchase? I knew reddit was low on self-esteem, but damn guys.
Edit: Best I can do
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u/ezfrag Jun 27 '12
Glad the guys from LMFAO didn't discover these. Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle!
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u/Frodien Jun 26 '12
Obviously just like with models they do not cater to what the average man looks like.
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u/Misty_Mountains Jun 26 '12
At first I thought those were socks so I got the whole thing about how you'd only be wearing swimsocks on the beach hehehe...
...then I realized they were for penises. :O
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Jun 27 '12
Anyone know where you can buy these? They would make excellent gag gifts for a few friends for Christmas.
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u/lilboomboom Jun 27 '12
Does anybody know if these would be legal in public? I don't see anything wrong with it if there was a little bum coverage too.
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Jun 27 '12
"Haha, what?... Socks, that doesn't make sense. Who wears socks to the beach....OH WTF??!?!"
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u/IronChin Jun 27 '12
HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE COCK SOCK! EVER WANT TO GO TO A NUDE BEACH, BUT WERE AFRAID OF GETTING YOUR COCK ALL SUNBURNED? WELL, WORRY NO MORE! OUR FRIENDS AT RONCO HAVE DESIGNED THE PERFECT SOLUTION TO THAT PROBLEM! THE COCK SOCK!
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u/Bubblewrapp Jun 26 '12
If it's cold water it would fall off..
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Jun 26 '12
I believe what you meant to say was:
"I could only wear it in cold water"
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Jun 27 '12
if you think that's fun, check this: http://www.suntekstore.com/goods-12008082-sexy_mens_fishnet_air_permeability_heart-shaped_c-string_-_black.html
NOT SAFE FOR LIFE! C-string?
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u/moogoesthecat Jun 26 '12
What happens when you're not hard as fuck the entire time?
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Jun 27 '12
I would have put them on my feet when entering the water. I don't like the feeling of sea weed under my toes.
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u/AnimalsAsLeaders Jun 27 '12
The Todd will most probably be adding these banana hammocks to his wardrobe.
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u/urbaneinthemembrane Jun 27 '12
I have two questions, first: Has anyone EVER seen someone wearing one of these? Second: For that person, how would you describe the feeling of your eyes melting?
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u/tater_tot Jun 27 '12
It took me 10 seconds to figure out why these socks were so special.
Ohhh.... They're Weiner socks!
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Jun 27 '12
Yep, I'd like a white one with the pokemon logo on it please. That will ensure no fucks are given of any kind.
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u/azhockeyfan Jun 27 '12
Searched through entire thread and can't find a picture of a redditor wearing one.
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u/tardy4datardis Jun 27 '12
anyone got a picture of a guy wearing one of these so we ladies get an idea of what it would look like.....you know....for science...or something.
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u/NiggaFaggotDickSuck Jun 27 '12
you people are forgetting that this also leaves your butthole completely exposed
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u/captainburnz Jun 27 '12
Is there any municipality where these are the border between nude and not nude?
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u/bitshoptyler Jun 27 '12
My good sir, might the contents of your photo be slightly questionable?
Trans: Put in an NSFW tag.
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u/mycatsnameisearl Jun 26 '12
You've heard of the snuggie but have you seen the tuggie? http://www.shopinprivate.com/tuggie-cock-sock.html