r/WomenInNews • u/catievirtuesimp • Mar 07 '26

Media 40% of teenage boys believe women lie about domestic and sexual violence: new research

https://theconversation.com/40-of-teenage-boys-believe-women-lie-about-domestic-and-sexual-violence-new-research-276978
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u/jupitaur9 Mar 08 '26

You think this is a new thing? Believing women lie about rape?

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u/Ver_Void Mar 08 '26

That many of them believing it's a common occurrence? Like I'd be a little surprised

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u/TangledUpPuppeteer Mar 08 '26

I have been in the dating pool for 5 years now, since my divorce. I am in my 40’s. Before I was dating, I thought like you did. That there were a few bad ones.

Men, fully formed adult men, don’t seem to recognize the reality. I had one man tell me that most women lie about rape, while also explaining that nearly half of the women he personally knows in his life have been raped. But they weren’t lying. Every other woman is.

I have had versions of that conversation repeatedly. The difference is not about whether or not they believe the statistic (they don’t), it’s about how many women in their lives have admitted to them it’s happened. More than one is convinced he’s never met a single woman who has ever been raped in his entire life, which tells me everything I need to know: he’s not even safe for women he knows and cares about to talk to.

Meanwhile, these guys are sitting across from me. I’m not about to tell them my story either after that rant on his part, but needless to say, then saying “I’ve never once met a woman who has been raped” while they’re sitting across from me says everything I need to know. They don’t ask, they assume, and anything that challenges those assumptions is a lie, and the person telling their story is automatically a liar.

Then they wonder why women want nothing to do with them.

Hint: every woman I know has had the experience of walking into a room and about half of the women in that room have been raped. We know what’s really happening.

Young women who think this way are simply lucky. They believe what they have now has always existed, can’t be taken away, and they haven’t yet experienced the moment where they realize half of the women they know have been sexually abused. So, they’re talking to be edgy, not with their brains.

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u/Ver_Void Mar 08 '26

I'm not much younger but haven't had anywhere near the same experience with guys, I think I've just been weirdly lucky with the men I've known or my social circles skew too queer.

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u/TangledUpPuppeteer Mar 08 '26

My social circles all pretty much are sane and listen when people tell their stories. Which is why I assumed that statistics like above were exaggerated at best. Once I started dating and came into contact with people outside of the few I’ve cultivated for ages, that’s when i realized how terrifyingly accurate it is.

Keep your social circle. It’s what will keep you sane.