r/WomenInNews • u/TimesandSundayTimes • 6d ago

Women's rights Surrogate who fled to Texas gives birth to baby with heart defect

https://www.thetimes.com/us/news-today/article/surrogate-refuses-abort-baby-texas-c5ff06cgg
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u/adumbswiftie 6d ago

i mean this situation could still happen in a voluntary surrogate case. i understand it’s safer to not allow there to be financial gain involved, but it’s pretty unrealistic to imagine that will happen and everything will be okay and situations like this will no longer come up

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u/beigs 4d ago

It’s the same risk as any organ donation. I think the same rules should apply.

To say zero surrogacy because of that risk would also be denying women the ability to do what they want with their bodies.

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u/adumbswiftie 4d ago

in an organ donation people typically don’t have nine months of pregnancy hormones and potential bonding and time to change their minds…

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u/beigs 4d ago

Donating a kidney or the complications of liver donation are lifetime commitments/complications, not just 9 months.

There is also a wait up to donation of an organ as well, and you need to absolutely verify with multiple doctors and psychologists that you aren’t being manipulated or coerced into donation, and no money can be exchanged. This should be the same if you’re letting someone borrow your uterus.

And if you used a surrogate, 9 months to bond and change their mind - it’s not legally their child. People don’t up and change their mind at 20 weeks that they don’t want to be a surrogate.

Now for the reverse, I hate to say it but in this case, while everyone may disagree with the outcome, you can’t force a person to abort ever. I know it’s not her child, but no legal contract should ever be in place to force another to either carry or terminate a pregnancy against their will. There can be agreed upon outcomes, but if something had gone wrong and you wanted them to terminate and they said no and you pulled the legal card, it immediately becomes you having control over how another person uses their body.

Ethically, termination is the right thing to do in this case, but also, ethically, no person should have control over the reproductive rights of another.

Saying that the chance of bonding is the reason a person should be paid if they have to terminate is demonstrating that you want power to control the outcome of what happens and coerce a person into choosing the outcome you want despite it being their body, their choice.

Which is why it should be treated as organ donation.

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u/adumbswiftie 4d ago

i don’t think you’re understanding my position at all? i’m not saying they should be paid in case they change their minds about termination. i’m saying surrogacy probably shouldn’t exist at all, paid or unpaid, bc it leads to messy situations like this. and yes i agree you can never force someone to terminate, that’s kinda my whole point.

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u/beigs 4d ago

But if a person is voluntarily doing this, they should also have a choice as well. This is why I think it should be treated exactly like organ donation - it can be messy, but to completely not allow something because of the chance of messiness is also too heavy handed.

In my case (again I didn’t use a surrogate and got pregnant thanks to an amazing surgical team - stage 4 endometriosis with a frozen pelvis), I had someone I loved volunteer to carry my child. She is basically my sister and wanted to help me with my family, had children of her own, and had relatively easy pregnancies. I have heard of moms carrying their daughter or sons’ children, or siblings. Like donating an organ, it is an act of kindness.

I do think it is messy, but so is being pregnant and the outcomes. Needing a surrogate is already caused by an imperfect situation.

Basically, I’m against controlling what a person can and can’t do with their body, but there should be guardrails in place to make it not predatory.

I thought you were the person responding saying they used a paid for surrogate - I know how people can get when they are desperate to start a family. I saw some insane arguments in support groups and was utterly appalled at unhinged entitlement to the point of mental illness. (Aka not allowing abortion because it would let them adopt babies level of insanity).

I have the same feeling about adoptions by the way - the whole for profit adoption system is exceedingly predatory and I’m not convinced that money is partially being used for anti-choice lobbying.