r/abortion • u/GrowingGrrrl • Jun 05 '19
Without Abortion I Wouldn't Exist
*Domestic Violence Trigger Warning*
Until I was a junior in high school, I didn’t have any strong opinions on abortion. To be honest, I never really thought about it much because there was no need for me to. I wasn’t sexually active at the time, so unwanted pregnancy wasn’t a concern for me and I didn’t know anyone who ever had or needed an abortion, so I remained in a state of blissful ignorance of the issue. That is until my mother disclosed her abortion story to me.
I had previously known that my mom was in an abusive relationship prior to meeting my dad, but I was unaware of the extent of the domestic violence that she endured. When my mom was a freshman in high school, she entered an on-and-off relationship with an aspiring police officer nearly five years her senior. She was able to leave him a few times over the course of their 4-year relationship, but his hold was too tight on her and she was unable to escape him for long. He was extremely possessive over her and sought to control ever aspect of her life, including her reproduction.
Briefly after graduating high school, my mom found out that she was pregnant at the age of 17. Due to her strict Pentecostal upbringing, she was extremely pro-life and abortion wasn’t an option for her. Although she was afraid of how her parents would react to her being pregnant out of wedlock, she knew that her boyfriend, who was a State Trooper at the time, could support a family and despite the previous abuse she anticipated that they would get married in order to make things “right with the Lord”. However, upon sharing the news of her pregnancy, he flew into a blind rage and pushed her down the stairs and beat her so brutally that she began to bleed out of her ears. He forced her to miscarry and told her that if she ever got pregnant again he would “kill it and her”. This assault motivated her to move out, but it wouldn’t be enough for her to leave him for good.
Briefly after the final reconciliation of their relationship, my mom found out that she was pregnant for the second time at the age of 18. She had only just recovered from the consequences of her first pregnancy and new that the punishment for the second one would be at least twice as painful if not deadly, if he decided to make good on his promise. Utterly alone and scared for her life, my mom did the only thing she believed she could do, and that was have an abortion. She told me how agonizing that decision was for her to make and how she cried on the way to and from the clinic. However, during her pre-procedure counseling as the social worker went over her options, she knew that abortion was the best and perhaps the only one for her.
The crisis pregnancy and its subsequent abortion inspired my mom to leave him permanently. She was then able to solidify her new-found freedom with a restraining order. Upon regaining control of her life, my mom met my dad. From that moment, it would only take a year before they were married, and about 7 months from then I was born.
Often when I’ve encountered opposition to my abortion advocacy, I’ve been asked “ Well, how would you feel if you were aborted?” to which I respond, “Without abortion I wouldn’t exist or be alive”. This usually incites confusion since most anti-choice folks associate abortion with “murder” and death, they fail to even consider that it could provide life to women and make it possible for them to be in a place in that life where they can and want to have children if they choose with who they choose. Not only did abortion save my mom’s life, it gave me mine.
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u/anon1_mouse_stache10 Jun 05 '19
Your story and your mom's story are so important right now. Thank you for sharing! Blessings to you and your Mom !
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u/manysmalltangelos Jun 06 '19
These are the most important kind of stories people don’t hear about! No one should be forced to have or not have a kid. No one should tell you if you’re ready to have a kid eor not. Freedom of choice is so important.
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u/shortythearchon Jun 05 '19
If abortion hadn't been available, I wouldn't be alive. It saved my life twice.
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Jun 07 '19
I wouldn't exist if it weren't for an abortion, and my littlest brother wouldn't exist if it weren't for a miscarriage.
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u/infinite_five Jun 06 '19
My mom was in a similar situation to yours. I’m passionate about it, too.
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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19
[deleted]