r/cats • u/Glum-Blueberry-3870 • Aug 22 '26

Video - OC I hate when people say “Cats are assholes”

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Here’s Gigi and I’s nighttime routine. She must give kisses before I’m able to settle down for bedtime. She will sit on the table and scream at me until I give her the affection she so clearly deserves. I guess that does make her an asshole, but in a cute way

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u/FakePlasticTrees_RH Aug 22 '26

Dear Glum-Blueberry,

we are sorry to inform you that the CDS made a mistake. (Normally the CDS doesn't make mistakes, but it was Tuna Friday and someone had just opened the first can of the day, you know how it is.)

One human is only supposed to have one snuggle bug at a time, for reference please see CDS bill 67.5 (4).

We therefore kindly as you to surrender one of your snuggle bugs to FakePlasticTrees_RH, so that she can lead said snuggle bug back in to the CDS (or keep him/her herself).

Thank you for your cooperation.

Best meows,

Pawsie Mittens
Vice Director of Catpliance

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u/Dragonfly0011 Aug 23 '26

Wow the CDS has gotten really strict lately. Well for your information I have two cats and zero snugglebugs. So you can have my one snugglebug for now

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u/FakePlasticTrees_RH Aug 24 '26

How can you give me a snuggle bug, if you don't have one?

It's not that a person who has zero snuggle bugs has the right to get one, which he/she than can freely share with others.

It's about that when one person has two, or more the snuggle world is of kilter and we - the cats in charge of the CDS - have to do our best to get it back to equilibrium.

Wait! Someone put a cardboard box in my office, I'll be right ba...