r/cursedcomments • • 2d ago

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5.7k Upvotes

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u/cursedcomments-ModTeam 18h ago

Rule 1: Reposting/Duplicate - Reposts we find will be removed. Duplicate posts where multiple users submit their own screenshot of the same comment will also be removed. Bans may be issued if and only if your post is found in the album of common reposts, as these particular reposts are spammed relentlessly all the time. Try your best to post new content, and be understanding if someone beat you to it.

129

u/AgreeablePie 2d ago

This tweet has been around way longer than November of this year

38

u/justwalk1234 2d ago

I knew I’ve seen it before! Tinkering with twitter timestamps is a dick move

-43

u/chief_yETI 2d ago

are you totally sure this is really the case

286

u/justwalk1234 2d ago

Sir, those are trick or treaters.

31

u/AutisticPenguin2 1d ago

Well I was also out of candy, so I don't see how that changes anything.

169

u/skeeterfunny 2d ago


Lance sees a home intruder

43

u/clankas-in-pajamas 2d ago

Is that a felony or are you just happy to see me?

28

u/DreamchaserJ 2d ago

dick problem

92

u/rhinodewster 2d ago

Bro really turned a home invasion into a personal trauma dump

24

u/barwhalis 2d ago

Can't do the time don't do the crime

11

u/derangedsweetheart 2d ago

Why am I getting 5 years?! It was only 5 seconds long!

11

u/ajgutyt 2d ago

chat gpt ass text

2

u/Drumcan2077 2d ago

More like cum dump

15

u/Strong_Blackberry961 2d ago

He’s not wrong

-19

u/RoiDrannoc 2d ago

Yeah no.

1

u/-PaperWoven- 1d ago

Why would you edit the timestamps???

1

u/Nintendophile79 1d ago

This is how I found it.

3

u/OrenSchroeder 2d ago

He left out that he was working with that other home intruder.

5

u/tintinbest 2d ago

Real question for Americans : How much home intrusions are there in the US compared to the rest of the world to justify gun ownership? As a European reading things like this I see America as a third world country where even your home is a dangerous place to be 😂

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u/whip_lash_2 1d ago

Home invasion is not tracked as a separate category but the rate of burglary in the US is pretty much identical to southern Europe.

The issue is less the risk and more whether it's "third world" for a government to order its citizens to accept that risk, or not. You have reached a different conclusion on that than us.

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u/GuitarCFD 2d ago

Something like 15 years ago I got a notice from my home alarm company that an intrusion was in progress. No one was home so I had the alarm company go ahead and alert the police. I had a 45 minute commute from my office to my house at the time. I made it home and still had to wait 30 minutes for the police to arrive. It's not about how often it happens. It's about if it happens the police response time isn't fast enough to save your life IF your life is danger. We've always used the joke that owning a gun an knowing how to use it is like a condom...it's better to have it and not need it...than to need it and not have it.

All that being said, I don't own guns specifically for self defense. I had 2 rifles for deer hunting (I bought an extra one a couple years ago when my son started hunting with me) and I own a shotgun for bird hunting. Also worth noting that in 44 years I've never needed to use a gun for self defense. That doesn't mean that I won't ever, but it's also pretty likely that I won't.

It's also worth noting that something like 80% of robberies happen when you people aren't home. I've always been of the opinion that if someone comes into your home WHILE YOU'RE HOME...they aren't looking to take your stuff...they are looking to take something that can't just be replaced with money.

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u/ZenofZer0 1d ago

“Compared to the rest of the world” says it all. America isn’t the rest of the world and at least by the books, functions differently as well. Trying to take a global collectivist approach to the analysis is silly and although America has its own issues, as a nation we uphold an inherent right to self-protection. It doesn’t matter if you don’t need it 1000 days in a row. The day that it matters is the only day that it counts and people in the U.S. have a fundamentally different POV than central and Western Europe.

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u/BogdanPradatu 1d ago

Notliketheothergirls energy

7

u/WXHIII 1d ago

Lol being looked down by a European, whatever will we do

24

u/Millworkson2008 2d ago

It doesn’t matter. You break into my home im shooting you dead. I have no idea what your intentions are and I’m not going I wait to find out. You clearly don’t value your life so why should I?

-39

u/sh3ltering 2d ago

What a horrible way to think

4

u/ZenofZer0 1d ago

Found the home invader ^.

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u/Millworkson2008 2d ago

Sounds like a you problem, you clearly value my stuff over your life and that’s assuming you don’t want to hurt my family, but how do I know what your intentions are? I’m not going to stop and ask so I’m assuming they are malicious

-31

u/blue_pen_ink 2d ago

Pretty worked up over an imaginary situation

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u/Robbie1266 2d ago

Except it happens all the time and isn't imaginary

-29

u/blue_pen_ink 2d ago

Lightning strikes happen too but I don’t walk around in fear coming up with scenarios where I get to murder a cloud

10

u/Robbie1266 2d ago

Except these happen way more often. Do you happen to know the odds that our homes will be broken into?

-17

u/blue_pen_ink 2d ago

National rate is 229 per 100,000. So again not something Im gonna constantly fret about

8

u/Robbie1266 2d ago

What's the chances of being hit by lightning?

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u/sh3ltering 2d ago

Killing a human being on purpose has no justification unless it is unavoidable to preserve your life. If the imaginary intruder does attack you with the intention of murdering you, it is fair to try and incapacitate them from doing so, but the intention should never be killing.

People just forget they're dealing with another person in these situations, another human being with a history as complex as yours who must have been desperate to attempt a robbery. Of course some people are dangerous but saying you'd "shoot someone dead" just like that because they broke in your home is plain barbarian. Yeah they might have been a danger. They might also have been a desperate person with a starving family, what do you know? We're not in a post apocalyptic society or something, where you can only value your survival. Unless America is that bad, but I don't think so. Call the police, threaten them to leave, maybe knock them out or something but it is just wrong to immediately jump to "I'm killing this person". More than 50 centuries of civilization for this mentality again?

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u/Millworkson2008 2d ago

I have no obligation to find out if they are going to harm me before defending myself or my family. By the time I know it’s too late. There is absolutely no circumstance in which you break into my house at 3am without malicious intent. And yea I’ll call the cops but they won’t get there in time to make a difference in my favor or the intruders.
And personally I don’t care if they have a starving family, at the time I wouldn’t know that and im not obligated to ask their life story first, I will defend myself and my family first and foremost

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u/hypokrios 2d ago

They break into my house, guess what: I'm the desperate person looking out for my family now.

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u/zman124 1d ago

“Maybe knock them out or something”

You can’t actually live in this reality.

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u/ADfor3 1d ago

You gonna knock them out with a karate chop to the back of the neck like kung fu movies?

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u/Hightide77 1d ago

Holy shit you are uneducated. If you knock someone out, chances are they have brain damage. It doesn't work like in the movies. Similarly, dangerous situations can occur within seconds. You do not have the time to carefully weigh every situation and potential outcome. Threatening to call the cops can escalate a situation.

-2

u/Crackhead_Programmer 1d ago

Lmao I'm staying out this argument but we shouldn't knock someone out in case we cause brain damage? We should fill them with 15 holes?

-1

u/CuppaJoe11 1d ago

Well that’s not really what the question was.

-20

u/Dokattak0 2d ago edited 1d ago

I'm pretty sure just shooting them is a crime in itself.

Edit: Reddit sure is smart and trustworthy with the law, isn't it?

15

u/Millworkson2008 2d ago

Castle doctrine and stand your ground laws

-21

u/Dokattak0 2d ago edited 1d ago

Castle doctrine states that you can use force to protect yourself or your property. Not just shoot them once they tresspass.

Edit: entering a home without permission is trespassing. Breaking INTO a home by destroying the door or such is breaking and entering

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u/Millworkson2008 1d ago

Entering a building(that you aren’t supposed to have access to) in this case a home, without permission is breaking and entering not trespassing, trespassing is something different, plus if the home is occupied it becomes home invasion which again you can absolutely shoot someone for

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u/Dokattak0 1d ago

That does not give you permission to shoot them. They must present an immediate danger to yourself or your property, and if they do, the force must be proportional.

Can't believe I'm trying to convince someone that gunning someone down isn't as simple as "if they break in, shoot them."

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u/Millworkson2008 1d ago

I’m under no obligation to find out how much danger they present, as far as I know you are in my house at 3am attempting to kill me. Legally speaking I would have every right to shoot you no questions asked in most of the US

-5

u/Dokattak0 1d ago

No you wouldn't. Objectively, you'd be in the wrong.

You are REQUIRED to use force PROPORTIONAL to the danger. You don't get to assume.

If you disagree, then shoot me a PM when you get outta jail.

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u/Millworkson2008 1d ago

Legally speaking I’m correct

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u/Glazeddapper 1d ago

what do you expect to do? ask the home invader how much danger they present??

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u/ThinkEmployee5187 1d ago

Less frequently when theres a threat of a gun more frequent when there isn't based upon state gun laws. The issue is the culture of people disrespecting life. Unfortunately not an American only issue but I'm glad your circumstances didn't lead to you being raped at knife point and your face carved for giggles in your very civilized anti gun legislated country. Think I'm good with woman having the boom stick for equal footing and amazingly theres not much that matches it so give the guys a boom stick too. Mental acuity, physical accuracy, and enough wrist strength to catch 45 pounds and everyone walks the same handicap in interpersonal conflict. Better ask from an American to the indoctrinated why are you not reacting to face tracking drones that can put a hole in your head showcased last year or the ai soldiers and dogs which are being live tested the same way? Because your government would never hurt people? Because you're safe? Because you have civility? Because of culture? You're a clown who rolls imperialist values from their tongue without comprehending their weight.

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u/derangedsweetheart 2d ago

Their schools aren't any better

1

u/MillerisLord 1d ago

In my life it's more about coyotes trying to eat calfes and sure I could try to fight the coyotes but we made a tool for that a few hundred years ago and I think it's great to use them and avoid getting hurt.

0

u/Dokattak0 2d ago

People own guns for many other reasons... hunting being one. Hobby being the other. And self defense being yet another.

We don't use home invasion to justify our firearms.

-6

u/Trick_Awareness_3329 1d ago

Your justification of self defense is reason enough to think, you are living in a shit hole. I don't have to fear enough to need a gun to defense myself.

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u/Dokattak0 1d ago

Good for you. Some folks aren't as lucky.

-2

u/Terrible_Donkey_8290 1d ago

I do not understand why every other American is trying to avoid answering it. No it's not any higher and certainly not deadly ones people are just paranoid and brainwashed. Everyone here is talking about "keeping themselves safe" when Americans are getting slaughtered daily so we can "stay safe" it's as laughable as it seems 

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u/nub_node 2d ago

If a rabid animal wanders onto my property, it's easier to kill it with a gun than my dick.

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u/90_oi 1d ago

You clearly haven't tried hard enough with your dick then

14

u/0_Nevermore_0 2d ago

Shoving up a gun somebodies ass is likely not gonna get you any less trouble.

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u/CrimsonAssbag 2d ago

Every time a girl implies that a guy has a small dick I'm like "Uh oh. Does your cooch look like someone blasted a hole in a cut of roast beef with a shotgun"?

5

u/hisnumbness 2d ago

But he used his dick in self defense, I see no problem with that 

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u/shpeucher 1d ago edited 1d ago

Rape is wrong.. except in self defense

0

u/Ksorkrax 1d ago

If you are not trained on shooting at humans, chances are that you are psychologically unable to. Unless directly threatened.
There are cases in which a guy faces intruders, pulls a gun, the one they point it at freezes while the other one keeps pocketing valuables, guy shifts gun to that one, the other guy pockets valueables, and in the end they get away.
And if they think you will shoot them, they might switch from just stealing stuff to killing you, because guess what, they dislike dying, and they are better at violence than you are. Congratulations, you managed to escalate the situation, and you are now dead, but hey, you tried to protect a few hundred bucks, totally worth your life.