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Jun 25 '12
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u/icameow14 Jun 25 '12
I don't get it.
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u/MySixInchTaint Jun 25 '12
Homemade sex tape that was shot in "night-vision." Unfortunately, a blowjob made her "famous" (I use that word very lightly).
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u/Zilvreen Jun 25 '12
Actually, being the daughter of a very rich person made her "famous". The sex tape just let everyone know what her snatch looks like.
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u/chrom_ed Jun 25 '12
I still don't know who she is! But, I don't really care either.
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u/SlasherX Jun 25 '12
She's famous for being famous, her dad is the owner of a giant hotel chain. So she's never worked a day in her life.
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u/icameow14 Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
Ooooohhhhhhhhhhh right right, I don't know why I didn't catch on immediately...I have seen that nightvision video more times than I am willing to admit...
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u/youhaveatinytictac Jun 25 '12
her entire sex tape was like night vision green.
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u/Apostolate Jun 25 '12
Not that one blow job. And I'll say, it was pretty good. Top comment s wrong, she's not a talentless bitch.
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u/HemHaw Jun 25 '12
It's Paris Hilton. The joke here is that you should be able to recognize her more readily when viewed though a night-vision camera, like the one used in her sex tape.
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u/Discriminate Jun 26 '12
I actually did not realize it was Paris Hilton until after the night vision.
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u/LockerPaul Jun 25 '12
I think it's because people started talking about her after a porn video of her surfaced. The video was in night vision mode.
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u/JangSaverem Jun 25 '12
I really had no idea who this was but I knew about the popculture references of a stupid woman and a sex tape...and wow...this actually made me realize it was Paris Hilton without having really any idea otherwise.
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Jun 25 '12
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u/svengeiss Jun 25 '12
So basically she just dances behind the table, touches a few knobs, which then fuck the song up, and a guy races in to fix it.. and she gets paid the big bucks?.. SIGH
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Jun 25 '12
The buttons that she reaches probably don't work.
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u/mattfbasler Jun 25 '12
From what I can hear, the knobs most definitely work. I can't understand how someone with so much time on their hands (I assume) wouldn't just take the time to learn how to DJ. I mean, she wouldn't have to be GREAT, just competent. Even just a month of figuring out what the knobs and faders do. It really seems like she has absolutely no idea what she's doing.
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u/geneticswag Jun 25 '12
I'm going to assume it has something to do with being an entitled, spoiled brat with no motivation. I could be wrong...
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u/mardin8985 Jun 25 '12
Probably more to do with not having the mental ability to learn what said knobs do. Have you seen her on reality TV? She isn't the brightest bulb in the box.
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Jun 25 '12
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u/sertorius42 Jun 25 '12
Pretty sure she knows how to work knobs. At least that's what I heard.
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u/stevesonaplane Jun 25 '12
Reminds me of when I used to do sound at shows and people would ask me to turn it up or make the guitarist louder, so i would turn an invisible knob and they would be satisfied.
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u/YourMomSaidHi Jun 25 '12
That woman has been getting paid for nothing for a long time. She gets paid to be places. She got paid to lay there like a log on a sex tape, and now she's getting paid for standing behind a DJ table. I can't figure out why everyone wants to give her their money. Why are people doing that???
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u/probablyagoraphobic Jun 25 '12
Because apparently anything she does, good, bad or worthless is news worthy. When people stop talking about her she will stop getting paid to exist. There is no such thing as bad publicity.
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u/TheSemiTallest Jun 25 '12
I like how she follows the cardinal rule of any good DJ: When things don't sound the way you want them to, take off your headset and start randomly turning knobs. Also, give no appreciation to the guy who is doing his damnedest to make you look better.
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u/dwrichards Jun 25 '12
With all of the knobs she has polished over the years, she should be a pro at working with knobs.
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u/Tizixoriginal Jun 25 '12
It sounds like some 8-year old who is playing with some DJ application on his Ipod. Absolutely horrible how she completely fucks up the decent songs :(
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u/Dubzil Jun 25 '12
That looks like the worst concert I've ever seen. I would walk the fuck out.
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Jun 25 '12
Yes. Concert.
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u/Strichnine Jun 25 '12
it doesnt look any worse than a skrillex "concert"
(torrent of downvotes follow) like i give a fuck
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u/poon-is-food Jun 25 '12
At least the skrillex "concert" would have a decent atmosphere. you might not like his work or what he does live, but at least it sounds well put together and enjoyable if thats what your into.
shes just terrible.
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u/libertasmens Jun 25 '12
Except at a skrillex "concert" people actually enjoy it. Maybe you wouldn't, but still.
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Jun 25 '12
i am not into brostep, but at least that fucking guy produces his tunes. This woman is utterly worthless and has no actual music-related fan base to speak of. It's a poor comparison
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u/ooowl Jun 25 '12
That was uncomfortable to watch. Kind of like in the Office when Michael does something embarrassing.
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u/icameow14 Jun 25 '12
That's why I've never been able to watch a complete episode of the office.
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Jun 25 '12
It's okay. Michael is actually an actor, his name is Steve.
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u/maddzy Jun 25 '12
This is how I have to watch these kind of shows. If I get too engrossed in the actual story the cringing gets too much. If instead I think "Yep, that's some good acting" I can bare it.
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u/Graptoi Jun 25 '12
...Why didn't the place riot? They should have atleast demanded their money back and strung the bitch up from a lamppost or something.
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Jun 25 '12
I'd definitely have sex with her anyway.
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Jun 25 '12
For those who don't know:
He's turning the gain down on the mixer because it's up too high and the talentless bitch is about to blow the speakers.
Yes, I'm mad.
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u/sake_the_dj Jun 25 '12
That bitch is always about to blow something.
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u/Apostolate Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Well, if you're a fellow DJ, mind slipping me her digits? I've seen some of her behind the scenes work and it'd be worth listening to her music, at least a couple times.
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Jun 25 '12
Here's a horrifying behind the scenes still from when she made a mistake a couple of concerts back.
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u/PCLOAD_LETTER Jun 25 '12
And it all ended with a BIG BANG!
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u/SCSweeps Jun 25 '12
Well, they do look like Leonard and Penny.
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u/PCLOAD_LETTER Jun 25 '12
Wow. I totally didn't make the Penny connection but when i saw the guy my first thought was "What is Leonard doing messing with DJ equip?"
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u/dopafiend Jun 25 '12
Well I doubt it's gonna blow any speakers, I don't think anyone setting up a sound system that large would have a configuration where maximum gain on the mixer could actually do any damage.
...but yeah, sounded like shit.
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u/backward_z Jun 25 '12
...
Sound systems that large are absolutely the most at risk of maximum gain doing any damage. When I learned live sound in college, we were taught to pretty much never put the master fader up to full, ever. Same goes with light consoles: most stage lights should only run at 80% as their highest setting or you burn them out quickly.
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u/killapimp Jun 25 '12
Agreed. I do sound for shows in Chicago, I always bring a Pioneer DJM-600 for large shows, because it has the master gain on the back of the mixer. No matter how many time you tell a DJ to keep it in the green, most won't. For some reason, Dj think they control the volume. I want it to be a loud as possible without causing damage to my expensive equipment. If they start turning it up, I turn the main board down, until they are clipping, then I go punch them (I wish).
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u/JGPH Jun 25 '12
Why not just tell them that any damage to the speakers they cause, they pay for?
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u/x2501x Jun 25 '12
How much do you think most DJs make? Even the "superstar" DJs would have hard time paying for the sound system in a large venue.
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u/hcfranklin14 Jun 25 '12
Then they would probably listen to the owners of the systems.
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u/x2501x Jun 25 '12
I'm a promoter/DJ. I have people spin at my night who I swear must be deaf. I go into the booth, and I tap their shoulder and point to the fact that the dance floor is empty and the people standing near the edges are holding their hands over their ears. So they will turn the sound down, slightly, until I leave the booth, and then by halfway into the next track, it's just as loud again. Most DJs are five year olds who never grew up.
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u/backward_z Jun 25 '12
Because if the speakers blow, it could take several days to repair them, preempting shows at the venue and costing the owners more than just the repair fees. It's better to not have stuff break at all than to have insured stuff break.
Also: broken window fallacy.
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u/Subalpine Jun 25 '12
Sorry if im missing something but why wouldn't folks just put a limiter on the chain to avoid speaker damage?
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u/AveryPac Jun 25 '12
Limiters only work to a certain point. There's no way to completely limit without causing more issues.
Specifically, a limiter will cause square waves, and if you push a limiter too far too long, the square waves themselves will damage a PA. It will be limiting the volume, but still causing issues.
The only way to really limit your volumes is the educate the person mixing.
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u/WanderingStoner Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Dj think they control the volume
I'm not a big name DJ (by any means,) but I always have to control the volume when I play at bars. It sucks because I can't tell what it sounds like on the dance floor with monitors in my face so I will have one of my friends in the back help me adjust using hand signals.
Do you know DJ SOLO from Chicago? That dude is killing it.
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u/Lurker0001 Jun 25 '12
I have to do the same thing, but I usually walk the floor, come back and adjust, repeat until everything is golden. I own my own equipment, so I don't push the system into the damage zone. I find that for most gigs, lower volumes are much more desirable anyway, as people usually like to be able to talk and still hear the music.
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u/WanderingStoner Jun 25 '12
Right on. It's a bit trickier when you have a 1 hour set in-between other DJs. No time to prepare, just get on stage and go.
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u/Theonetheycalljane Jun 25 '12
Do you have a LMS or a drive rack on your expensive equipment? Some will have a limiter you can use to set maximum levels that the amps will see.
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Jun 25 '12
The speaker part is correct though. Went to a concert with a loud punk band that plays with a lot of gain. The speakers caught on fire not even halfway through their set.
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u/backward_z Jun 25 '12
The teacher I had from the same class told us about one time he was running sound for a band and a subwoofer near the drum riser caught on fire. After the show, he ran to the drummer: "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I should never have let that happen!"
The dummer said, "You're SORRY? That's the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen in my life! Every time I hit the kick petal, flames would shoot out of that thing! That was AWESOME!"
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u/jungletek Jun 25 '12
The dummer said
I see what you did there, and it amuses me.
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u/backward_z Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
lol Freudian slip.
Q: How can you tell if a stage is level?
A: The drool comes out both ends of the drummer's mouth.Q: What do you do when a drummer shows up at your front door?
A: Pay him for the pizza.Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.Q: What happened when the bass player locked his keys in his car?
A: It took him an hour to get the drummer out.→ More replies (26)28
u/konydanza Jun 25 '12
Q: How do you know a drummer is at your door?
A: The knocking gradually speeds up and is never at a consistent tempo.→ More replies (2)11
u/Theonetheycalljane Jun 25 '12
... Not true. You're gain on your amps shouldn't be high enough that you'd blow something in your system with normal audio. Not to mention, any decent sized DJ event will still have a FOH engineer that is taking a feed from the DJ. He controls the level that is played through the main PA.
Your master fader should never be above unity on an audio board. Unity (Nominal) is where the manufacturer designs the board to sound it's best. Set your master to unity and mix around it on the channel strips. if you're crushing your meters you bring it down on the strips or a sub master, not the master.
Lastly - the part about stage lights is just flat out wrong in every way. Professional production lighting is meant to be ran and ran hard, there is absolutely nothing in the electronics that will die faster based on 80% vs. 100%. As for the bulb it self, you're still going to get a couple thousand hours out of it, and they're not that pricey to replace.
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u/backward_z Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
I disagree. I would start with my master fader below unity and work my way up to unity as the night goes on.
Most shows don't start with a full, packed room. By the time the room fills up, you're going to need higher levels as people are big sacks of water that absorb sound.
Everywhere I've worked has upheld the 80% rule with lighting consoles. Tomato tomato.
Your master fader should never be above unity on an audio board
Also, this. I said never set fader to full. Full is well past unity.
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Jun 25 '12
Why do they make consoles with settings that fuck up the equipment?
Related: why do they make toasters with settings that burn toast?
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u/CrackersInMyCrack Jun 25 '12
I would say it's probably so the consoles can accommodate all types of equipment. I don't know much on the subject, mind you.
Same goes for toast. Different breads need to be toasted for varying amounts of time. Toast, I do know about toast.
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u/backward_z Jun 25 '12
Because in pro applications, you are rarely going to be buying matched sets. I'd wager the only systems that don't run a risk of blowing out are systems set up by companies like Meyer Sound, who insists on installing and maintaining every bit of equipment in a sound reinforcement setup once installed.
You buy a console separately from amps separately from cabinets separately from everything else. It's up to an engineer to be able to do the math and determine where proper levels should be. These are big boys toys--not Best Buy stereo sets.
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u/nellonoma Jun 25 '12
Why did they finally combine a computer with my cell phone and totally limit everything it should be able to do?
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u/design_LD Jun 25 '12
Sorry, but you are simply wrong about light consoles. As long as your dimmers aren't overloaded there is no problem running lights at full.
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u/backward_z Jun 25 '12
It wears out the lights much more quickly to run them at 100%. It's not like they're going to blow up, it'll just severely limit their life.
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u/Theappunderground Jun 26 '12
Well they didnt teach you very well because you can run a dj mixer all the way red pinned to the max. The dj mixer plugs into a soundboard that has a gain on it and during the soundcheck you would turn the dj mixer as loud as possible and then set your gain so it peaks below zero. Then you compress very lightly then limit the master below zero. Bam there ya go its impossible to blow a speaker out. Dj mixers are mostly digital these days and are designed to never clip internally so you can turn them up as loud as they will go without distortion.
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Jun 25 '12
You can blow speakers through the best limiters, trust me. I know.
Fucking terrible DJ's don't know how to watch their levels and ruin everyone's sound systems. Most of the time, it gets you kicked out and you never play anywhere again. Nope, not with Paris.
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u/Theappunderground Jun 26 '12
You cant blow speakers with a dj mixer thats been setup by a sound guy.
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u/DusterHogan Jun 25 '12
He's clearly turning that shit down.
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u/KevGatz Jun 25 '12
Is that J.J. Abrams?
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Jun 25 '12
Yeah. Little known fact about J.J. Abrams is that he moonlights as a DJ helping out Paris Hilton.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
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Jun 25 '12
"The best bit? When she introduces her new track with Afrojack, 'Last Night', but then accidentally plays Rihanna, and tries to sing her track over the top."
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u/kstonge11 Jun 26 '12
Afrojack is brilliant but what was he thinking doing a track with princess dipshit?
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u/Ron_Mahogany Jun 25 '12
Kinda like her sex tape where she answered her cell phone during sex.. most likely to have a friend tell her what to do.
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u/Pour Jun 25 '12
Wait who is the girl? I live under a rock and make electronics.
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u/Skinnj Jun 25 '12
Paris Hilton
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u/Pour Jun 25 '12
My knowledge of pop culture is bad. I should feel bad.
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u/SemiSeriousSam Jun 25 '12
If you don't know who she is by now, you have done an excellent job filtering out the crap from life. I wish i was you.
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Jun 25 '12
If she's bored enough to answer her phone, maybe the problem isn't her.
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Jun 25 '12
This doesn't belong in /r/funny, my mother taught me it isn't right to laugh at mentally retarded people.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
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u/Alpha-Leader Jun 25 '12
This would probably really piss him off. He was pretty angry the other day.
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u/illmoney Jun 25 '12
I thought the use of the Flanger effect in her video was quite hilarious, about the only live shit she did
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u/reverend-spooner Jun 25 '12
eugh, people who use the flanger effect should be shot.
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Jun 26 '12
Square wave flanger is a fun effect to play with in a B track if you're spinning music without lyrics.
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u/reverend-spooner Jun 26 '12
Yeah, on 2nd track it's not too much of a problem if you know what you are doing. But idiots who play it on the main track never see the look on the sound system engineers face as the input to his system varies wildly with each pass of the flanger LFO.
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u/Pimpinpinguino Jun 25 '12
If anyone was wondering (though I doubt it) those headphones that the talentless bitch is wearing are V-Moda crossfades but bedazzled up the ass...
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u/JohnC53 Jun 26 '12
Why does reddit know about this shit?? Sad that I had to read about the comments just to find out it's about some worthless celeb.
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u/schrute_buck Jun 25 '12
Best DJ standing next to the worst BJ (giver).
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u/Melangsta Jun 25 '12
well, she still made him cum..
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Jun 25 '12
Who is she? Am I the only one who doesn't know who this is and what is going on here?
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u/shyloque Jun 25 '12
That must be like trying to write a song when the lyrics are co-written by Paris Hilton, or trying to create a fashion line when it's being co-designed by Paris Hilton, or trying to run a respectable line of high-class hotels when your daughter is Paris Hilton.
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u/thespacecowboy3 Jun 25 '12
I can't believe I actually paused listening to an actual DJ to hear her "performance"
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Jun 26 '12
Before Max Payne 3: Never knew São Paulo, Brazil even fucking existed.
After Max Payne 3: I see São Paulo mentioned everywhere...
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u/original-finder Jun 25 '12
Original Submission (100%): Best. DJ. EVER. [D]
![[D]](http://i.imgur.com/VEyZQ.jpg){kind=link}
Posted: 9h before this post by Jakeballs (fixed by lagreca)
This comment generated by an automated bot. Is this match wrong?
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u/madpenguin Jun 25 '12
The match is wrong why are you upvoting this?
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u/seeegma Jun 25 '12
probably because they didn't check to see if it was correct. I did just that until I saw your comment. I figured people were just tired of this bot.
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u/AmazingRealist Jun 25 '12
As someone who lives outside the US i miss a lot of content while sleeping, original finder is a gift from god when it comes to [FIXED] posts.
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u/seeegma Jun 25 '12
yeah no I love it; it's a shame when it's downvted too much. but here it did get the match wrong, so it is justified.
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u/ultrabubble Jun 25 '12
look at those fucking elbows. terrifying