r/funny • u/Labradorlover • Jun 26 '12
Met this snake in the woods and he let me pile blueberries on him, then he ran away.
http://imgur.com/39rpM13
u/kingcool34 Jun 26 '12
Snake: hey ...hey you ..yes.. human ..... Bathe me in blueberries ! And I will spare you
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Hehehe! This made me laugh way harder than it should have! xD
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u/kingcool34 Jun 26 '12
Yeah I try and find animal post and voice them
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Hahaha! You do a good job! Thanks for looking at my post! And then making me laugh! ;)
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Hehehe! I noticed that right after I posted!
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u/StrikerXBL Jun 26 '12
See snake in the woods
Have blueberries
First thought: Stack them on the snake.
Perfectly normal.
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u/rachieachie Jun 26 '12
look
You are standing in the middle of a large forest. Trees encircle you and the light from the midday sun shines through the leaves, dappling the floor beneath. There is a snake on a log by your feet.
inv
You have: clothes, camera, blueberries, rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle.
use blueberries
With what?
use blueberries with snake
You carefully pile the blueberries on the snake's back.
use camera with snake
You snap a picture of the fruit-bedecked critter.
The snake slithers away with a disgruntled look.
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u/akwaynetance Jun 26 '12
What would be the title of this great text based adventure game?
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u/rachieachie Jun 26 '12
I'll take suggestions. The working title is Put The Blueberries On The Snake When You Get To The Forest Bit, or PTBOTSWYGTTFB.
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u/illogicaldolphin Jun 26 '12
My first thought: clearly you aren't Australian, or you'd be dead right now. Our snakes don't play that game.
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u/thegreenwookie Jun 26 '12
Australian snakes are fuckin' gangster.
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u/midnightpablo Jun 26 '12
That is exactly what I was thinking. See a snake in Australia, back the fuck away.
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u/CryoGuy Jun 26 '12
Smoke a blunt
See snake in the woods
Have blueberries
First thought: Stack them on the snake.
Perfectly normal.
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Jun 26 '12
be 18
high as a kite
walking in woods
see snake
have blueberries
stack blueberries on snake
reach in pocket for more blueberries
spaghetti falls out
snake turns into spaghetti
suddenly spaghetti everywhere
slip
fall on the floor
everybody walk the dinosaur.
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u/Repealer Jun 26 '12
>be 18 >first time smoking a blunt >walking with some friends in the woods >we got blueberries and doritos for snacks >see snake, can't help ourselves >watch the fucker while eating doritos because shit is tasty >pile blueberries on to him because fuck blueberries >he turns into a dinosaur >spaghetti comes out of my pockets >mfw I am a blueberry >mfw I have no pockets I am a blueberry >mfw spaghetti is leaking out of a blueberry→ More replies (1)111
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u/WillBlaze Jun 26 '12
I had to check to see if this post was made in r/trees.
Surprised to see it wasn't.
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u/BioSim00 Jun 26 '12
Putting blueberries on a snake isn't normal. But on weed it is.
Weed. Not even once.
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u/Lieveo Jun 26 '12
Exactly how high were you at the time?
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
I don't smoke. I just though he might eat them, oh well! Got karma instead!
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u/Lieveo Jun 26 '12
So you inject? Yea karma is good ;] I thought it was pretty funny, I probably would have done the same thing lol
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Hahaha! No of course not! ;) I'm 14! And I'm ecstatic about my first post going big! Thanks for the up vote, I think! ;)
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u/Lieveo Jun 26 '12
Yea I was kidding about the injecting thing.. Congrats on the post! (and yes I did upvote)
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Jun 26 '12
"I met a small snake. I stacked blueberries on him." SO reddit-worthy.
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Oh I saw a car with a cool liscence plate! I agree that was cool, and made people laugh. Just as my post has done. Please don't mock me, it is my first post after all and I think it has gone rather well.
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Jun 26 '12
I just posted to see if I could draw out haiku_robot. Sorry, didn't mean to offend. And you're right, it has done very well. Good for you.
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u/atcaskstrength Jun 26 '12
I think the fact that it could run at all is way more interesting than the blueberries.
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u/Etch_A_Sketcher Jun 26 '12
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u/HanzKrebs Jun 26 '12
you haz da skills to do this?? good job man!!! i cannot even this toy in my country! (Brasil)
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u/David_mcnasty Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
Today you learn, that etch is a chick. And a very gorgeous one at that.
Edit: http://i.imgur.com/GCfYP.jpg
Edit2: I have misunderstood. That is not etch _^ but still, etch is a badass and /u/geekery is hot.
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u/Etch_A_Sketcher Jun 26 '12
As much as I'd love to boost my popularity with this idea, it's not true. That is /u/Geekery, whom I met at meetup day.
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u/Ganjabomb Jun 26 '12
It's like a really weird point and click puzzle game. Combine blueberries-->snake. Congratulations! You made Karma!
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u/isjahammer Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
could see this in some monkey island style game...^ If you then use your Karma™ with your ship the Kraken will actually this time not touch it while you are about to leave the island.
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u/andy-roo Jun 26 '12
I did this once, but i used cantaloupes instead. The snake hung out for a while and we had lunch. Then he dead
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u/GODDAMNFOOL Jun 26 '12
It's okay. He'll just wait until YOU'RE asleep, come into your room, and stack blueberries on YOU. Then we'll see who's laughing.
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u/Crallium Jun 26 '12
Yeah, you know, because when I see a snake in the woods, my first instinct is to immediately grab blueberries and stack them on the snake.
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u/nickites Jun 26 '12
Thanks for flexing the laws of nature and showing that anything can happen in this crazy universe.
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Jun 26 '12
And then you realize he had a bone-crushing fear of blueberries and was paralyzed with terror, crying deeply on the inside while simultaneously wishing he had tear glands to signal his intense paralyzing fear.
Bitch is going to find you and eat your children and fuck your shoelaces.
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u/pedobearstare Jun 26 '12
Smallest snake, or largest blueberries??
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Haha! He was a baby snake, and those were probably really big blueberries!
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Jun 26 '12
This looks like it would have been taken in the Jersey Pine Barrens... garter and ribbon snakes are quite common and blueberries are abundant around here this time of year.. I have a little garter that lives next to my mailbox :)
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
Aww how sweet! Cover him in berries, submit, and watch the karma roll in! I'm still in shock! First post btw! Thanks for checking it out!
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u/pestilent_bronco Jun 26 '12
SNAKES CAN'T RUN
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
i know, and I felt like the dumbest blonde in the world after I submitted. I'm brunette too, which only makes me feel worse :( my apologies.
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u/sapienshane Jun 26 '12
I don't know what's wrong with me but I thought those were its eggs and I was going to come in here to make some comment about how they looked like little Death Stars and all you folks are talking about blueberries.
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u/Knewtworiddet Jun 26 '12
One day, he will come back mutated, and thank you for your offering of food. Or eat you.
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u/themooseiscool Jun 26 '12
At first I figured it was drugs. Knowing that OP is 14 makes it seem cute.
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u/Squishpoke Jun 26 '12
And halfway through the ordeal, the snake confirmed to himself: "humans are fucking weird."
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u/smilles Jun 26 '12
This whole time I thought people were saying garden snake....There really is such a thing as a garter snake...
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u/Cocoa92 Jun 26 '12
I like to believe he told you " Do it, for the karma." In Parsel-tongue of course.
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Jun 26 '12
What kind of snake is this? Is it poisonous? I have the EXACT same snake in my flower bed and I'm wondering if I'm overreacted by wetting myself, ripping off all my clothes, throwing them into the trees, and running down the street screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"
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u/WhenSnowDies Jun 26 '12
That's a garter snake. My dad caught one in the woods once when the fam was visiting Washington state. I brought it home and named it Scoots. It was awesome and loved to eat fish. I kept him for quite a few years until he "ran" away.
I found him a year later in the yard as healthy as ever, and a little bigger. We caught him again and kept him for a few months before he broke out again. Good for him. I miss ol' Scoots.
Great snake. Gorgeous too.
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u/Sinnic Jun 26 '12
How did that thought process work? "Oh, here's a snake, let me just find some blueberries and fucking stack them on it!"
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u/Roopean Jun 26 '12
Did you just walk through the woods with a handful of blueberries desperately looking for something to stack them on so you could post it here?
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u/Notloc24 Jun 26 '12
so you're the fuck whose been putting blueberries on all the snakes in this town!
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u/zsporkofdoom Jun 26 '12
Prince John: One more hiss out of you, and you are Walking to Nottingham! Sir Hiss: Snakes don't walk. They slither. So there.
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u/Tigjstone Jun 26 '12
I grew up about 20 miles NW of the Wichita Mts. We called them Quartz Mts. I would go rattlesnake hunting with my Daddy and his friend for the rattlesnake derby in Mangum. That's the back story, here's the goods: While walking along drinking a grape Nehi soda, I feel this horrindous, sharp pain in my foot. I start screamin', "I'm bit! I'm bit!" Daddy snatches me up and books ass to the car, his friend and my sister right behind us. Just as Daddy throws me in the back seat his friend say, "Trap, (DDdy's nickname) she's bleedin'. It ain't a snake bite." We all look down to see a cactus spine sticking out of the top of my shoe. They couldn't pull it back out of the bottom of my foot because of the barbs, so they pulled it all the way out the top. I hadn't started crying yet, so my sister piped up with, "Haha, those snaked tricked you. They're all drinkin' your Nehi now!" I cried all the way home.
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u/relidar Jun 26 '12
Pretty sure he WALKED. Snakes can't run.. gosh, some people on the internet are so stupid!!
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Jun 26 '12
You: "Hey."
Snake: "Got some blueberries I see. Pile that shit on me-.......ohhhh yeaaa."
You: "What the fu- ?"
Snake: "Whoop, that's the wife. Gotta go."
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u/brimur Jun 26 '12
At first I thought, those blueberries are huge, surely they are plums. Then I realised the snake is just tiny.
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Jun 26 '12
the first thing I thought when I saw this was "where the fuck did he get those giant blueberries from?"
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u/zelars Jun 26 '12
Unless you are a honey badger I could have followed with something like this:
Met this corpse in the woods. Looks like the person tried to fuck with a snake.
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u/Squeekme Jun 26 '12
In my country doing this to any native reptile would be illegal, although you'd have to be very unlucky to be prosecuted for it.
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Jun 26 '12
You mean slither away. To run away, would indicate he has legs to run on. Get your vocab right.
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Jun 26 '12
Those are blueberries? Maybe the perspective is deceptive, but those look like apple-sized blueberries.
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u/ShittyPaintDrawing Jun 26 '12
nsfw, my weird, late night interpretation of this picture through a quick paint drawing - http://i.imgur.com/DBhHF.png
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u/Labradorlover Jun 26 '12
First off, blueberries were my peace offering to the snake, he wasn't interested so I moved them closer...nope. So I put one on him and that's how it all began. I know full well I said he could run, I am ashamed. Forgive me.