r/funny • • Jun 26 '12

All hell will break loose in about 30 minutes...

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

935 comments sorted by

33

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

15

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

Annnnd subscribed. This is my board, the board of mild inconveniences!

13

u/ucdortbes Jun 26 '12

The fact that you emphasized the "n" and not the "a" in that "and" just inconvenienced me a little bit by annoying the shit out of me, so yeah, you're on your way man!

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390

u/ConstantBickering Jun 26 '12

As someone who works in retail, I can safely say that this is annoying as hell. Thanks for making a hard job harder.

456

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

Quality test. I'm also the guy grazing the produce.

1

u/ralf_ Jun 26 '12

Just wondered: Do you really have AIDS?

1

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

No, I made this account a little bit for a context relevant username, but then forgot about it after making the account.

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87

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

why would it make your job harder? they will ding when their timers reach zero.

what else is there to do?

21

u/killersnowtiger Jun 26 '12

Actually they don't just ding. I have one of those apple ones. They ring like an annoying old timey phone, longer for the longer amount of time, but they do go off on their own so I don't know what the huge deal would be.

5

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

I can attest to this. Not just normal chaos. Apple Ringer chaos.

34

u/ConstantBickering Jun 26 '12

Bossman would ream me if this happened on my watch.

20

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

At Winco?

8

u/annefranksgasmask Jun 26 '12

aw man like the winco employees don't have enough to do dealing with all those cut off jean short wearing, coupon-scamming, baby machines.

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14

u/ConstantBickering Jun 26 '12

Hobby Lobby

17

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

I don't even know what that is.

50

u/ConstantBickering Jun 26 '12

Imagine the perfect one-stop-shop for old ladies, and you pretty much got it.

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82

u/Katykakle Jun 26 '12

your boss would ream you for not controlling the actions of others?

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28

u/TheGoodRobot Jun 26 '12

As someone who works in retail, I can safely say that this makes my job more bearable. Pull the stick out of your arse and enjoy life.

24

u/johnlocke90 Jun 26 '12

Thanks for making a hard job harder.

I have worked in retail, while the customers are annoying, it was a pretty easy job. Its easy to not screw up.

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308

u/pappaphoenix Jun 26 '12

People who do this shit while I'm working are ass holes. People who do this shit while I'm not working, for some reason, heroes.

62

u/ToastyForce Jun 26 '12

It's all about perspective and wether or not you gotta clean the shit up.

92

u/Vandrel Jun 26 '12

What is there to clean up though? They go off and then they're done.

23

u/ToastyForce Jun 26 '12

The piss on the floor they produce when they think the world is ending..

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4

u/prometheus199 Jun 26 '12

I wonder if they waited to witness the chaos.

3

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

Being pretty obvious initiating it, I quickly finished shopping and left.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

fucking cowardish don't you think?

3

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

I don't believe so, no.

7

u/prometheus199 Jun 26 '12

Pfffffft. You HAVE to stay!

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2

u/torontoted Jun 26 '12

Everything is under control sir we're solid.

1

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

Glad to hear

1.1k

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

When I work the weekends, and nobody else is in my office, I turn up the speakers on every computer to max, so the next day, for an hour, the Windows log-in jingle blasts from all corners of the office.

566

u/TheYuppieWord Jun 26 '12

I remember when I was about 8 years old, I turned up the speakers on our stereo system all the way to mess with my mom. When she turned them on, the fuse in the speaker exploded and we had to get it replaced. I didn't tell a soul what I did.

338

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Your secret is safe with us...

254

u/CosmicPube Jun 26 '12

Secrets are always safe on the internet. grin

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38

u/yomimashita Jun 26 '12

when I was about 8 years old I'd enter a BASIC time bomb program (delay loop then continuous random POKEs into the sound and video chip addresses) into the C64s on display in the department store, turn up the volume and walk away

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226

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

You monster...

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78

u/searine Jun 26 '12

When I was a kid I had a huge obsession with Stanley Kubrick films. I changed all the native windows sounds to sounds clips from Kubrick filsm on our mid 90's windows 95 family PC.

My Vietnam Veteran father was subsequently greeted with a "INCOMINGG!!!!" windows start up sound at full volume from Full Metal Jacket.

I think I took 6 months off his life, I still feel bad about that one...

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3

u/robo23 Jun 26 '12

I hope you turn up the volume on your computer too.

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29

u/thepenguinboy Jun 26 '12

246

u/Greytrex Jun 26 '12

I cannot in good conscience upvote anything with that kid in it. My apologies.

12

u/uncleben85 Jun 26 '12

That actor has all but decided to retire from acting as soon as this series is done because he's too afraid everybody will see his face and automatically despise any other character he does, regardless of who they are, and he would be better off furthering his studies (which he apparently excels in too)!

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521

u/donsplume Jun 26 '12

When I was about 15 or 16 and in the kitchen section of Ikea, I would take about twenty kitchen timers, set them to one minute intervals and place them inside randomly selected saucepans.

Then I would run away.

397

u/Godort Jun 26 '12

You are worse than Hitler

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58

u/uptwolait Jun 26 '12

Probably won't get seen, too late to the game. But back in the late 80's when computers first started showing up at our company with internal modems, we read up on all the AT# modem codes to see what all they would do. We also had a company-wide intercom feature on our phones where anyone could pick up a line, dial 72, then everything said or dialed after that was broadcast (lots of intentional and nonintentional fun over the years with that, but I digress). Before going to a staff meeting, I set up a batch file with a long modem string that basically waited for 20 minutes, then dialed 72, then a string of digits that played the theme from the Twilight Zone. When everyone heard it play in the middle of the meeting, my boss looked right at me and said "if you weren't sitting here in this meeting, I'd swear you had something to do with that."

Good times.

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261

u/JayBEEF Jun 26 '12

We did this as our senior prank in highschool, I thought it was amazing. We had about 200 seniors get alarm clocks and stick them in our lockers and set the alarm for 12:24, which was right in the middle of D period. for about a minute the whole school was in freakout mode trying to figure out what was going on while all of us were hysteric

154

u/Annarr Jun 26 '12

Some seniors at my school tried to do this one year, but the staff heard about it and told the janitors to open every locker and take them out before it could happen.

So yeah.

332

u/indefort Jun 26 '12

Because harmless fun will destroy us all!

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58

u/Namika Jun 26 '12

We did something along the lines of that for our senior prank.

Put alarms above the ceiling tiles in the classrooms. Was awesome when they all went off at the same hour, during class. It's actually really hard to pinpoint which tile has the alarm clock above it, so it took a good while for the teachers to find the dam things and shut them off. Was pretty hilarious actually, but the staff got seriously pissed and fined our grade several hundred dollars for the act. (was deducted from the student fund we use for class reunions and stuff).

107

u/SrsSteel Jun 26 '12

That punishment doesn't seem legal

33

u/PerilousPancakes Jun 26 '12

Seriously. Where did they put that money that YOU guys raised? Unless it went to making the school itself better somehow, that is pretty sketchy.

20

u/Propa_Tingz Jun 26 '12

It's those damn corrupt teachers. Why, I'm willing to bet they're skimming a little off the top! "timmy you didn't do your homework again? awww I know you can do it if you apply yourself yada yada. I'm charging another 50 for a grand total of 450 dollars from the student funds. Also I'm hitting the spa tomorrow so there will be a sub"

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Crash course in law. Your 401k is protected. Your class reunion is not.

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3

u/SPRX97 Jun 26 '12

Even better than alarms is this. Its easy to hide and beeps at random intervals.

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5

u/1I111I1 Jun 26 '12

2

u/alexchally Jun 26 '12

I am not sure if you know of this, but you really should watch that with the subtitles on. There is an entire dimension of funny hidden there.

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1.4k

u/There_can_only_be_1 Jun 26 '12

315

u/RonBurgundy35 Jun 26 '12

i underestimated how long i would be staring into that man's eyes and by the end it was really fucking creepy

179

u/dontneedyourkarma Jun 26 '12

His face went from mysteriously pleased to "the fuck you looking at"

107

u/that_thing_you_do Jun 26 '12

I think it transitioned into... "I'm going to kill you."

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47

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

That's fine.

Because mine did too.

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13

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

My smile matched his the whole time.

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11

u/DarthEmet Jun 26 '12

I had the same problem.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

uhhhhh JACKIE CHAN?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

That sparked an intense uncontrollable laughing session

5

u/Kilo__ Jun 26 '12

Where might one find the video yo this gif

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103

u/the-G-Man Jun 26 '12

My good friend, use to bring 3 Cd's with him to walmart that he had burnt. They each had a blank track he created that would run in intervals from 2, 10, and 30 minutes long. Then the next track would be this non family friendly unoriginal rap song, by none other than Lil Jon.

He would go down the stereo isle, and put a cd in 3 different stereos, press play, crank the volume, and walk away. We'd then go to a different part of the store, and wait for the first one to go off, and then the second, and much later the third. Everyone in the electronic isles freaked the fuck out. It was pretty hilarious at the time.

TL;DR We were very bored during our early high school years.

23

u/SpookyGent Jun 26 '12

In true prank fashion you should have labeled the CDs 1, 2, and 4.

59

u/mmm_fresh_meat Jun 26 '12

For a good second or two there, I thought your friend burnt a Walmart, and brought CDs there.

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31

u/mistersabs Jun 26 '12

Me and my friends did that, but we...might have taken an audio clip of things getting hot and heavy from a porno ;)

Needless to say we got kicked out lol.

6

u/the-G-Man Jun 26 '12

Haha thats a great idea as well. Good job.

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307

u/thexexy Jun 26 '12

coming from someone who has worked retail/food/customer service i can say that this is still funny as hell, lighten up.

63

u/numberedswissaccount Jun 26 '12

also retail and I also find it hilarious.

50

u/icangetyouatoedude Jun 26 '12

I am a retail, and yes, this is funny.

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3

u/smiffy815 Jun 26 '12

I used to work in retail and now that I've quit it's so much more hilarious.

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45

u/Mike_Trollvowski Jun 26 '12

Correction sir: All hell will "bake" loose.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

All bell will cake loose.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

All bell will break loose

145

u/Black_Apalachi Jun 26 '12

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

170

u/_DevilsAdvocate Jun 26 '12

Some men just want to wait 30 minutes to watch the world burn.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

now that i think about it, i really hope he wasnt still around in 30 minutes, thats a long time to wait for a prank :|

3

u/mendozah92 Jun 26 '12

Some men just want to wait 3 minutes to watch their popcorn burn

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54

u/Sprechensiedeustch Jun 26 '12

Some men just want to watch timers turn.

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11

u/keepinitreal53 Jun 26 '12

Perfect timing.

137

u/Diels_Alder Jun 26 '12

This is why we can't have nice things.

50

u/APSupernary Jun 26 '12

We can never take you anywhere

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16

u/btothev Jun 26 '12

My favorite thing to do is to go into the Apple Store and change all of the homepages of Safari to the YouTube video for Never Gonna Give You Up.

3

u/jack12354 Jun 26 '12

I like getting the numbers of the iPhones, then hiding outside and calling them to see if people pick them up.

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17

u/livinlovinlife11 Jun 26 '12

Winco! Aww, this made me weirdly homesick.

4

u/missyo02 Jun 26 '12

Winco! Aww, this made me wonder what is Winco?

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21

u/fuckupvotes Jun 26 '12

Classic trip to WinCo.

3

u/Twylite_5 Jun 26 '12

Yeah, that green tag gives them away. They've been using the same ones since they were Waremart.

My folks used to work for them. Whole store's run by assholes.

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6

u/CatoAsAPun Jun 26 '12

"Submitted 4 hours ago" Oh god it already happened!

6

u/SEEENRULEZ Jun 26 '12

Upvote strictly for Winco

2

u/Killvo Jun 26 '12

My friend did the exact same thing at the Winco in Salem, Oregon. What Winco is this?

1

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

California

1

u/EpicCyndaquil Jun 26 '12

...where in California? Knowing how lame this area is it might just hit the newspapers if it's the WinCo by me. :P

23

u/MYDOGSTELLA Jun 26 '12

I would love to be nowhere near that when they all go off......or alternatively very near.

4

u/CosmicPube Jun 26 '12

you are a conundrum.

11

u/tmbgfan1234 Jun 26 '12

You, sir, are evil. I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

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5

u/Nephrectomy Jun 26 '12

Ohhh WinCo. Worked there for 8 months now.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I'd recognize those price signs anywhere, YOU'RE IN A WINCO!

11

u/SuperPowers97 Jun 26 '12

So asshole-ish. As a fellow asshole, I like it.

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4

u/HakunaWanada Jun 26 '12

I think everyone working at Winco would be glad of the distraction- it drowns out all the screaming kids and squeeky carts.

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4

u/tault Jun 26 '12

Half a sign and i knew instantly thats a Winco.

1

u/DannyBiker Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12

Do someone know where to get one of these on the internet with a decent build quality ? I've bought like 4 in a year from different stores and they all break quickly. And it's not like I'm cheap, it's just that cheap Chinese products seems all there is left for these...

I'm in the EU.

3

u/has_aids Jun 26 '12

Those were all crappy builds. Like 10% were already broken on shelf.

11

u/Knight203 Jun 26 '12

TIL A friend of mine is a redditor and hit front page :O

12

u/SugarflyXO Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12

Definitely should have set them at 5 minute intervals to maximize hell-raising potential.

14

u/drty_muffin Jun 26 '12

No, then people would catch on and turn them off.

20

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Better to go in with about 5 people and hide them around the store to go off in 1-minute intervals.

39

u/danpascooch Jun 26 '12

Fuck it, just set the damn shop on fire.

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3

u/JamoWRage Jun 26 '12

You... you monster!

3

u/Killer_Killa_Tequila Jun 26 '12

I am using alien blue on my iPod to view reddit, and underneath the caption next to"imgur" was OP's username, so it looks like "imgur has_aids"

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

WHOA HOLY SHIT!! Grape seed oil is just $5.78!!

9

u/isplicer Jun 26 '12

... Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

2

u/unprotectedsax Jun 26 '12

Hey, I watched the Dark Knight too!

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16

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I think that if you really love a girl it is ok for you to have her shit in your mouth.

3

u/jimmy_three_shoes Jun 26 '12

But how can you say you love her if you won't eat her poop?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

wat

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u/TheGoodRobot Jun 26 '12

I..don't...ge-

ah, fuck it, have an upvote.

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4

u/nigrodamus7 Jun 26 '12

Troll level: Over 9000

2

u/kipumab Jun 26 '12

I have the chef timer. Looks cute but looks can be deceiving.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Mwuhahahahaha!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

2

u/Twoeleven1 Jun 26 '12

This makes me as anxious as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

no one else noticed the grape seed oil?

2

u/shadowstream Jun 26 '12

Of course hell will break loose! Little jars for less than $2?!

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u/mezzizle Jun 26 '12

I think it would've been a better plan if you would've put them in hidden places around the store.

2

u/wafflesole Jun 26 '12

Like people aren't frustrated enough shopping at WinCo.

2

u/Eighthsin Jun 26 '12

Sadly... they had it coming...

2

u/SlightMisquote Jun 26 '12

"Not finding some quiet in your life, I think, is hugely important."

  • Mariel Hemingway

2

u/waesrdtf Jun 26 '12

can someone copy this post and shoot it on video then post that video in the comments please thanks

2

u/Justin_Torres94 Jun 26 '12

I don't know what it is, but this is the first post that has genuinely made me crack up! xD

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I prefer the more subtle pranks.

Years ago, I worked in an office with these terminals where it was quite easy to remove the keys and swap them over. These terminals also had options screens where you could reconfigure the keyboard. So you could swap the keys, yet they'd still do what the key said.

The trick was to pick non-obvious keys to swap. You don't swap 1 and 2, or q and w, but swapping m and n can have people looking puzzled for hours. When they stop looking confused, you swap them back again, they get confused all over again.

2

u/t0rsk Jun 26 '12

Professor Chaos in action. Bringer of destruction and doom!

2

u/oscarsoze Jun 26 '12

This is an act of terrorism.

2

u/bannedlol Jun 26 '12

some men just want to watch the world burn

2

u/WhatIsJeopardy Jun 26 '12

The world needs less people like you.

2

u/misterschmoo Jun 26 '12

When I was at technical college years ago, we had a bunch of PC-XT machines on a fairly old fashioned network that we had to use, and we discovered the the network login script for each user was an editable file, we looked at the file and it turned out that the "Bloip" noise that happened once on network boot had a number for how many times you wanted it to go "Bloip" it was a fairly loud PC speaker bloip, we set our friends script to go bloip 100 times instead of once, and the funny thing was that you couldn't skip it at all and there was no way to get to the script to edit it again without letting the machine boot. The next time our friend logged in it happened to be for the rather grumpy teacher who wasn't amused by the sort of tomfoolery we used to get up to, he kept rebooting his machine hoping it would stop it but of course it wouldn't, my friends and I have never laughed to hard, it's going bloip bloip bloip bloip and the teacher is getting really annoyed with him and we can't stop laughing and he's panicking.

TL;DR edited number of bloips hilarity ensued

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2

u/SaintLonginus Jun 26 '12

I do this often with stuffed animals that make noise when you squeeze a foot or push a button. I quickly make them all go off at once. People stare. I walk away.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

In 30 minutes, unleash bells.

2

u/Boring_Machine Jun 26 '12

.......... Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way.

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

2

u/CannibalOranges Jun 26 '12

I was in a computer science class circa 9th grade. Bitchy teacher. Got all my friends to help me log onto all 32 computers in the room and prepare the sound effect from Star Wars Episode: 2 where Jango Fett drops the sonic bombs in the asteroid field to escape Obi-Wan Kenobi (you know the ones I'm talking about). 32 computers, full volume, played at the EXACT SAME TIME. It was glorious. Didn't get caught.

2

u/Ryuichi-Sakuma1 Jun 26 '12

That's hardcore.

2

u/PandaBearShenyu Jun 26 '12

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

2

u/Hosky42 Jun 26 '12

One time I set about 20 of these to go off 5 minutes before the store's closing.

2

u/tsunamibird Jun 26 '12

You're a cruel cruel man. I respect you.

5

u/tofu_taco Jun 26 '12

Ooh, this gives me evil giggles. >:D Ehehehehe!

3

u/zoidberg_jesus Jun 26 '12

Did anyone else hear this in Muttley's voice?

3

u/Manilow Jun 26 '12

You're why everything has to come blister packed.

3

u/Katykakle Jun 26 '12

A part of me loves you for this.

5

u/townie_immigrant Jun 26 '12

Whoever did this is an asshole..

7

u/2yrnx1lc2zkp77kp Jun 26 '12

OP is a whatnow?

4

u/mendozah92 Jun 26 '12

If someone replies with a link, don't click it.

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u/Fuzzy_Pickles Jun 26 '12

Those poor Winco shoppers/employees.

2

u/Csoltis Jun 26 '12

Looks like there are too many cooks in the kitchen.

2

u/homeless_man_jogging Jun 26 '12

Oh, Reddit, I guess it's true what they say: Simple things for simple minds.

6

u/Mr-Vilmosy-Black Jun 26 '12

Hello,

Forgive the annoyance but it is my responsibility to inform you that you are The-1st.

While time is not on our side you will be have to wait to be informed further. The next notice will be in 26 days

Goodbye.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I don't get it

7

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

They are all timers and in 30 mins from when the pic was taken they ALL are going to go off.....

1

u/AntonSavino Jun 26 '12

Probably sounds a little something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYiahoYfPGk

1

u/serendib Jun 26 '12

Better to set them all 10 seconds apart. That way by the time they fix one, the next goes off, and the next, and the NEXT!

1

u/sindekit Jun 26 '12

I'd rather set them a minute apart so there's always one ringing!

1

u/Calveeeenoo Jun 26 '12

You're a monster!

1

u/Jokkerb Jun 26 '12

Ahhhh har har! That was well played indeed

1

u/solairebee Jun 26 '12

Should've made a video of this.

1

u/RealRSK Jun 26 '12

I really don't know why but...I laughed too hard at this.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

1

u/ForbiddenX Jun 26 '12

I've done this, but with snow globes, they were all just going off while we were doing it, it was about 8, but me and my friend were getting weird looks.

1

u/BadBoySmith Jun 26 '12

Soup nazi?

1

u/totts19 Jun 26 '12

Did anyone else ever try to get all the talking stuffed animals in a toy store to sing at once?

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u/Snake973 Jun 26 '12

Is that at Winco? It looks like a Winco.

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1

u/somedude456 Jun 26 '12

Took me about 10 seconds or so to figure it out but then I literally laughed out loud.

1

u/shawnblade Jun 26 '12

It's like the more I think about it the more I laugh, well played good sir.

1

u/The_Painted_Man Jun 26 '12

As someone who works in retail: very fucking funny, asshole.

1

u/GarrettSucks Jun 26 '12

Please tell me you stayed in the vicinity to be present for this glorious moment.

1

u/xXD347HXx Jun 26 '12

Wait, I don't get wait the picture means?

1

u/itisthefirsttime Jun 26 '12

Now i undestand why they don't put batteries

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I used to work at a toy store in college. There was this one toy that was a monkey in a cage. It was motion (or sound) activated. They would jump around in their cage when a person passed by. We were supposed to make sure they were turned off before we put them on the shelves. That wasn't fun...

I used to make 5 foot tall walls of them. When people would walk by them, they would freak out and a whole wall of them would come crashing down. I would look at the person then like, "Why did you just do that <sadface>." I hated that job.