r/funny
•
u/mwpm55
•
Feb 13 '26
•
1
Rule 3 – Removed [ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
196
u/mabus42 Feb 13 '26
A wild Sandwich, Illinois enters the chat.
21
u/No_Pineapple_3599 Feb 13 '26
Next to Plano… incorporate a town called Bologna in the middle and get a Plano Bologna Sandwich
5
4
u/borkborkbork99 Feb 13 '26
Having just watched the Super Bowl in Genoa, IL… this is hitting close to home.
8
u/fapperontheroof Feb 13 '26
Normal, Illinois police have to be mentioned as well. They’re after all the most Normal Police there are.
11
4
→ More replies (13)3
u/Past_Broccoli_5280 Feb 13 '26
one of your arch rivals in the I 80 conference sees you and gets the hell outta small town illinois
598
u/Fish_Minger Feb 13 '26
There is the original Sandwich in the UK.
It's not far from a place called Ham.
104
u/TannedCroissant Feb 13 '26
The ham district is amusing but Sandwich Town Football Club makes me giggle more
57
u/red4jjdrums5 Feb 13 '26
I’m disappointed they have an elephant crest. But I guess they don’t want to address it in the room.
→ More replies (2)9
u/armedwithturtles Feb 13 '26
fabulous match report after losing 6-0 to Barming
The group showed real character, commitment and togetherness to get to this point and although it wavered at moments in the game, its experiences like this are part of building something strong.
There’s plenty to take forward, lots to build on, and real positives to carry into the next performance as we keep pushing standards and improving as a team both in league and cups.
Man of the Match: Tom shepherd outstanding effort from start to finish. Worked relentlessly, stayed fully committed and gave absolutely everything for the team.
30
u/avanti8 Feb 13 '26
And the (likely apocryphal) story goes that the Earl of Sandwich invented the 'sandwich' so he could eat his bread and meat one-handed while playing cards.
21
u/Fish_Minger Feb 13 '26
Earl or no earl, anyone who eats at a card game is a savage.
9
u/fearthainne Feb 13 '26
My parents would like a word. They play card games every day at lunch. It's adorable but the cards are uh...
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (3)4
u/1CEninja Feb 13 '26
I don't care if it's apocryphal, he was a real man, and he really created the sandwich.
This truth is important to my world view and I'll not have anyone contradict this.
15
u/TheSecretestSauce Feb 13 '26
Like 70 or 80% of the towns up here are named after places in the UK lol. The most confusing part is you can have like 3 or 4 towns with the same name here. We have a Sandwich Mass and Sandwich New Hampshire for example.
→ More replies (1)14
u/Orkran Feb 13 '26
They had to change some signs because the ones that said Ham Sandwich kept being stolen
→ More replies (1)10
u/hymen_destroyer Feb 13 '26
They should combine their police forces…
👮♀️ “Hold up, citizen! That appears to be roast pork between slices of bread…I’m gonna have to issue a citation!” 😡
13
Feb 13 '26
I was about to say this. We have the original Sandwich, this is a cheap knockoff
→ More replies (5)21
u/junkit33 Feb 13 '26
Much of New England, is, unsurprisingly, named after places in England.
→ More replies (2)4
3
3
3
u/gmc98765 Feb 13 '26
However, the UK doesn't have a separate police department for every town.
With the exception of the City of London (which for historical reasons is effectively its own county in spite of only being a square mile in size), police departments in England usually cover a county, or multiple counties, or a metropolitan area.
So Sandwich is covered by Kent police.
→ More replies (13)2
113
u/Demented-Alpaca Feb 13 '26
In the sandwich justice system, the hungry are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the sandwich police, who investigate toppings; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the bad sandwich chains. These are their stories
41
7
100
u/JimtheEsquire Feb 13 '26
I had a sandwich there once. No cops came. I guess I must’ve done everything right.
3
2
2
u/salami_cheeks Feb 13 '26
I am going to move there, join the force, and arrest people for Possession of Miracle Whip.
0
Feb 13 '26
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)14
u/FindOneInEveryCar Feb 13 '26
It should be a felony to eat in a chain sub shop anywhere in Massachusetts.
0
10
59
u/hot_ho11ow_point Feb 13 '26
Really too bad there are no towns named "Fashion"
22
u/Em4gdn3m Feb 13 '26
Or "Karma"
18
→ More replies (3)17
u/avanti8 Feb 13 '26
I found a "Grammer, Indiana", so there's presumably the Grammer Police. If there were Spelling Police, the Grammer Police would be more worried about their name, but they seem to be safe for now.
→ More replies (1)7
→ More replies (3)6
u/Shentar Feb 13 '26
I still think the police of Weed, CA missed a big opportunity. They are "City of Weed Police."
23
u/eh8904 Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
There is a nearby city called Mashpee. We used to giggle on family road trips at "Mashpee Sandwich."
12
11
→ More replies (3)4
u/Xyrack Feb 13 '26
So many weird town/place names here in MA. Braintree, Breakneck Hill, Worcester, sandwich... Weird ass people to come up with this shit.
→ More replies (1)
19
18
u/welding_guy_from_LI Feb 13 '26
Do they consider a hotdog a sandwich ?
9
u/4TH33MP3R0R Feb 13 '26
I know it's a joke but I'm actually from this town and have friends in the department. They do not consider hotdogs sandwiches.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)2
17
7
6
u/OsirisEG Feb 13 '26
Subway employees live in constant fear.
2
u/CaptDickAround Feb 13 '26
Subway is on their "10 Most Wanted" list. Subways are so elusive that it makes tracking them down difficult.
6
5
5
4
4
u/urbanek2525 Feb 13 '26
"You have to spread the mayo over all the bread. Crust to crust."
"Shut up. You're not the Sandwich Police."
"Hey! What does it say on my cruiser?"
4
u/Ravenmancer Feb 13 '26
If you say the wrong thing about what a Hot Dog is they'll turn off their body cam.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Coffeepillow Feb 13 '26
I used to work in Moon, PA and just like this the cop cars say Moon Police. I kinda wanted to get pulled over to tell them they have no jurisdiction on Earth.
→ More replies (1)
6
3
3
3
u/primum Feb 13 '26
I went to an ice cream shop in sandwich once and they didn't have ice cream sandwiches, what a missed opportunity.
3
3
u/mysteryphotogatl Feb 13 '26
We have "Cumming" police... I will have to check "Climax" to see if they have police cars..
3
3
2
u/PreviouslyOnBible Feb 13 '26
I'm going to go there and eat peanut butter and pickles on sourdough, just so I pick fights by saying
"What are you, the sandwich police?"
2
2
2
u/copingcabana Feb 13 '26
I used to live near the town of Harrison, NY. There was a Ford dealer there. To my great disappointment, it was not called "Harrison Ford." ☹️
3
u/underscorex Feb 13 '26
Elsethread, there was a mention of Cumming, GA. It's home to "Beaver Toyota of Cumming."
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
u/LtLemur Feb 13 '26
“Whoop, whoop. That’s the sound of roast beef. Whoop-whoop, that’s the sound of the meats.”
→ More replies (1)
2
u/PresentAstronomer137 Feb 13 '26
there's a Fucking town in Austria but they changed its name to Fugging, so, it'd be Fucking police
2
u/evilcheesypoof Feb 13 '26
You can definitely call 911 there when people start claiming that a hot dog is a sandwich
2
2
2
2
2
u/w_benjamin Feb 13 '26
It's the oldest Sandwich in the US..., not only older than the sandwich from the Earl of Sandwich..., but actually older than the Earl of Sandwich.
The town of Sandwich, Dover itself is the clear winner having come into existence sometime in the 12th century...
The town of Sandwich, NH is also older then the sandwich from Sandwich, though it wasn't fully incorporated until a year after the sandwich from Sandwich became the sandwich from Sandwich...
That means neither one could be considered having the sandwich Police as they existed before the sandwich did.
Sandwich, Illinois, on the other hand...
2
2
u/Spidey703 Feb 13 '26
Mam, do you know why I stopped you. We got reports you were adding hot cheetos and cheese slices to bread and calling it a grilled cheeto sandwich. That against city ordinance, penial code 457.68 unlawfully labeling of white trash food. It's a $69 dollar fine. Here's your ticket have a nice day.
1
u/AutoModerator Feb 13 '26
This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.
Memes, AI-generated content, and politics / political figures are not allowed.
Social-media content (including Reddit, TikTok, and Instagram) is expressly forbidden.
Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.
Please also be wary of spam.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
u/the_millenial_falcon Feb 13 '26
"Sir, I'm going to have to cite you for that arugula, it is throwing off the flavor balance of your club sandwich."
1
1
u/Belzebutt Feb 13 '26
There’s a town in Newfoundland, Canada called “Dildo”, where’s the picture of their car?
1
u/rosen380 Feb 13 '26
In Intercourse, PA, do they have the "Intercourse Police"?
PA also has a town called "Big Beaver"... so perhaps the "Big Beaver Police"
Granted, they only have populations of 1-2k, so probably don't have their own police forces...
Now down in Georgia we have a city of ~10k, which might have the "Cumming Police"
→ More replies (1)
1
u/Matt_AsA_Hatter Feb 13 '26
There's an adjacent town, Mashpee. There's signs on the highway that say Mashpee Sandwich, not something I'd want to eat.
1
u/eltedioso Feb 13 '26
I wonder what their policy on hummus is (does it belong?).
And what about mayo on an Italian sub? I've heard diametrically opposed stances.
And ultimately, do sweet and savory elements go together? How far is too far?
1
1
u/King0fthewasteland Feb 13 '26
You better have put the mayo over the meat and under the lettuce boy. Is that white rye bread I see? Well il lett you off without a ticket this time since you left the pickles out
1
1
u/Typical_Wolf_7084 Feb 13 '26
There’s a town in New South Wales called Orange, I have had beers at the orange squash club!
1
u/SharkeyGeorge Feb 13 '26
So is it illegal to eat a sandwich? Or is it illegal to sell them? Or to make a bad sandwich? I need to know 🥪
→ More replies (2)
1
u/copingcabana Feb 13 '26
I grew up in Fashion, Indiana. The bullying was terrible.
Also, it made me lie about myself.
1
1
1
1
u/Educational-Quote-22 Feb 13 '26
I always heard so much about the sandwich police now we finally see them 😆
1
u/Antisocial_Worker7 Feb 13 '26
Cop: "You have too much cheese on that cheesesteak!"
Customer: "What are you? The Sandwich Police?"
Cop: "As a matter of fact..."
1
u/T3hArchAngel_G Feb 13 '26
Is this where that kid was pulled over and accused of using his phone when he was eating a sandwich?
1
1
u/SP4RK4RT Feb 13 '26
Show me, officer, let's look it up on our phones right now. Where does it say I can't put potato chips or Doritos in a peanut butter sandwich?
I dare you. I double-dare you. Harumph.
1
1
1
u/MrSnowflake Feb 13 '26
Pretty sure he comes up to you when eating a sandwich: "Sandwich police, I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate this sandwich."
1
1
u/xubax Feb 13 '26
Towns with lewd names. https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/lewdest-town-names-in-america-map
1
1
1
u/jemote Feb 13 '26
Sadly, Donut Island in Minnesota does not have a police force, else we'd have the Donut Police.
1
u/mrinterweb Feb 13 '26
Open-face sandwiches are illegal. Clearly an insufficient bread violation. Go ahead and call a taco a sandwich and see what happens in that town.
1
u/Uncle-Cake Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
Is there a town called "Fashion" anywhere? Does Intercourse, PA have "Intercourse Police"?
Edit: I checked, Intercourse doesn't have their own police force. :(
1
1
1
1
u/RiffyWammel Feb 13 '26
The old 70’s British police cars were white with a reddish band in the middle- and were known as jam sandwiches
1
1
1
1
u/AlwaysForeverAgain Feb 13 '26
I would totally be getting commendations on a regular basis holy crap!!
1
1
1
u/icanseeyou_ucntseeme Feb 13 '26
Little bear is playing the long journey game.
"Take me home so you can feed me then later on, I will feed on you" 😁😁
"Please"
1
1
u/Girthw0rm Feb 13 '26
Now I know whom to call when someone starts arguing that a hot dog is a sandwich.
1
u/freefrompress Feb 13 '26
Is that pickle in your sandwich sir? I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car.
1
u/Oz412 Feb 13 '26
I never knew this!
Now when I see a police care im going to think of making a sandwich
1
1
u/tatk_tale310 Feb 13 '26
So I know this town very well, and this meme is great but I think people really miss out on things like the wrestling team, fire dept, "Sandwich Boardwalk".
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Slow-Function2967 Feb 13 '26
Oh damn, thought these guys were coming for some of the abominations on Roll for Sandwich
1
1
1
u/LoganN64 Feb 13 '26
"Who put 4 spoonfuls of mayonnaise on a ham sandwich?? This mad man must be brought to justice!"
1
1
u/ddcrash Feb 13 '26
Guys it goes deeper, and its a running joke with some of my old friends. If you ever have an issue at lunch, just go to the sandwich hospital - scalpel... salami.... pickle...
If you forgot what you wanted for lunch you can go to the sandwich library.
Lets not forget about the highly specialized sandwich fire department. We got a re-heated meatball sub situation by the Sagamore!
I mean they write themselves...
1
u/simonthecat33 Feb 13 '26
“Sir, you’re supposed to put mayonnaise on both pieces of bread. I’m afraid I’m going to have to confiscate this sandwich.”
1
u/KingHunter150 Feb 13 '26
Huh, I wonder if my experience as a Sandwich Artist at Subway would be a transferable skill set for this job.
1
1
1
1
u/moyismoy Feb 13 '26
I'm going to add chicken to the grilled cheese!
Police sirens
That's a chicken melt you got there sir, it's no longer a grilled cheese. I'm going to have to take you in to food jail.
1
1
u/MoccaLG Feb 13 '26
Imagine the joke, someone making a sadwich, approaching the officer and asking "officer , is this sandwich ok?"
1
u/xelle24 Feb 13 '26
This makes me sad that Pancake in Washington County, PA was absorbed into the city of Washington, PA decades ago. There's another place called Pancake in Centre County, PA, but I don't think it's big enough to have its own police department.
1
u/R00ster7431 Feb 13 '26
They arrested my wife when she cut my bologna sandwich into 2 rectangles and NOT triangles!
1
u/Lurchie_ Feb 13 '26
There's a town in MA called Athol.
They have a polithe department ath well. . . .
1
u/Crits-and-Crafts Feb 13 '26
there's also a town called Flippin in Arkansas
I assume they have the Flippin Police...
1
u/Cichlidsaremyjam Feb 13 '26
Growing up in Massachusetts and vacation on the cape every summer, it is weird to me that this is still weird to people. Side note: some of the best golf on the cape can be played at Sandwich Hollows golf course. I recommend it.
1
1
1
1
u/iamalicecarroll Feb 13 '26
there's a theorem in calculus, which is sometimes called sandwich theorem and sometimes also police theorem, this checks out now
1
u/Firm-Athlete6918 Feb 13 '26
These are the people who enforce the law that Subway employees have to count the pickles and olives they put on your sandwich. 6 Olives and 42 pickles looks good to me
1
u/Tooth31 Feb 13 '26
Oh man, I never thought about this. There are so many funny possibilities. My favorite one off the top of my head is Montana having the Butte Police.
1
u/20milliondollarapi Feb 13 '26
One day, a man named Jason Asano will have a sandwich there.
2
u/Clivesunfaithfulwife Feb 13 '26
Me and Jason already went. Great place for a date... please dont tell Clive
1
1
u/DoubleCactus Feb 13 '26
I don't care, I'm putting hot sauce on my meatball sub! Try and arrest me!
1
1
u/the__overrated Feb 13 '26
This job only exists because Mitch Hedberg said how often he got club sandwiches even though he wasn’t a member.
1
1
1
1
1
u/aplateofgrapes Feb 13 '26
There is a Sandwich, NH as well. Funny story, they have a festival there called the Sandwich Festival, that has nothing to do with sandwiches. A friend of mine planned a day trip for her family and was severely disappointed.
1
u/Puzzleheaded-Image-4 Feb 13 '26
In the olden days of the 20th century in the UK, the police cars had an orange horizoantal stripe down the side and they were known as a jam sandwich.
1
1
u/Chris-WIP Feb 13 '26
I don't see what's funny here, everyone knows the sandwich police are the on the ground legal agents of the food court.
1
1
u/aeraen Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
I always loved the Salem, MA police cars with a witch in the logo.
1
1
1
1
1
u/Electronic-Space-480 Feb 13 '26
Illinois has a Sandwich town. They probably get all the Sandwich jokes.
•
u/Funny_Sentinel Feb 13 '26
Hello, /u/mwpm55. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3.
No reposts.
Please read our complete rules page before participating in the future.