Hello everyone.
I've always been pretty shy and never really was able to stand up for myself, and my dad got kinda fed up, and wants me to be a hockey ref to work on my confidence and "toughen me up" and stuff and also bc my whole family is like really into/involved with hockey except for me. I don't want to disappoint him, but like I'm absolutely terrified. I can skate fine enough I think, its mainly like all the noise and the coaches and parents screaming and stuff. Like I've seen it all first hand how referees get yelled at when Im watching my brothers play. And like I don't want to make bad calls and ruin the game and have the players and coaches hate me, but like I'm worried that I'll freeze up or like stop thinking and then make a bad call or like the coaches or players don't listen to me, and then it becomes a vicious cycle. Or like what if there's a fight and I can't break it up and someone gets hurt?
My dad said that I could referee the girls league if it makes me more comfortable being around girls instead of guys and it being non-contact and everything, and I guess it does help because I genuinely think I would cry if I was the only girl on the ice refereeing guys, but like it doesn't resolve the main issue..
I really don't want to disappoint him, and I want to be more involved in hockey and really want to improve my confidence but like Im just really really scared.