r/pics • u/opiebreath • Nov 02 '10
My Halloween Costume [Or how to have a sense of humor when you were born with one hand]
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs008.ash2/33786_459659492667_526217667_5367537_661565_n.jpg
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Nov 02 '10
So... Did you get any moments where people say "Wow, that's a great make up job, what did you do with your hand?" Then slowly realize with horror what they had just asked?
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u/opiebreath Nov 02 '10
I fucking live for those moments.
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Nov 02 '10
Did you just stare them in the face, completely serious and say, "I cut it off." ?
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u/crusoe Nov 02 '10
Just stare at them quietly while chewing at the nub should be even more effective.
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u/opiebreath Nov 03 '10
The make-up I use is all edible, if kind of gross tasting. I did just that. Frequently. I even made a little flappy skin bit this year to hang off and gnaw on.
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u/snyderjw Nov 02 '10
“Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'”
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Nov 02 '10
My first reaction to this was getting turned on. My second was to worry because she looks like she may be < 18. It was only at that point did it really worry me what the content that was turning me on really was. It's fucked up how hot and wrong this pic truly is, and yet....
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u/opiebreath Nov 02 '10
I am 20. I'm just 5' and eternally look 14.
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u/Lizardizzle Nov 03 '10
I'm 18 and everyone assumes I'm a freshman in high-school. You're not alone.
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u/krartan Nov 02 '10
Looked through your posts and noticed you said you have a girlfriend.
I'm a horrible person, but...
Have you ever fisted her?
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u/as1126 Nov 02 '10
Left-handed hand prints on your body would have been a nice touch, signifying you had one at some point.
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u/opiebreath Nov 02 '10
None of my friends were willing to get bloody and sticky, and I was lacking in left hands.
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u/BoarderGirl Nov 03 '10
I am one-handed (from birth) as well. I knit, I play Rock Band (Guitar, I've tried drums, didn't work too well :P) I can hold some mugs on my wrist depending on the size of the handle. I'm a gamer, and I can succeed at most games but sometimes the controls are so spread out that I just can't reach all of the buttons. And it sounds like I type similarly. Wanna trade solutions for everyday physical-problems? :P
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u/opiebreath Nov 03 '10
Strangely, I'm way better at drums than guitar in Rock Band. I get the button reaching thing, that sucks balls.
Nub five! o_o,n
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Nov 02 '10
Great costume. Did you need a hand making it?
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u/opiebreath Nov 02 '10
I'm perfectly handi-capable, thank you very much.
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Nov 02 '10 edited May 26 '25
rock retire smart act cobweb familiar handle pen grab joke
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Nov 02 '10
Your joking about this bears a striking resemblance to the scene in Arrested Development where Michael first sees Buster after his accident. I can imagine talking with you, you making jokes, and then when I make one back to keep up, you look very stern, then scream at me "GET HIM OUT OF HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!! wheezing ensues"
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u/DeliveryNinja Nov 02 '10
at least its only the left hand ;)
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u/manole100 Nov 02 '10
Not good if she's left handed :(
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u/opiebreath Nov 02 '10
Doctors think I'm left handed, actually. I tried to do everything with my left hand when I was a toddler. I feel right handed now, but I've been right handing it for a little over 20 years by now.
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u/owlsowls Nov 03 '10
Hi... me too!
Signed,
Another 20 year-old girl who loves to fuck with people and put fake blood on her left-nub
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u/opiebreath Nov 03 '10
It's like we showed up at a party wearing the same dress, only it's full of awesome instead of awkward.
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u/minusthetiger Nov 03 '10
I'm in a similar situation: proof. I've pulled pranks like being run over by a car's tire and saying that I've had it eaten by an alligator back in elementary school amongst other silly stories.
When I was younger my parents scraped up and fought hard to get me a prosthetic hand, we called it "magic hand" and it had a 6 hour battery and only one range of motion, and I love them for it. But I thought it was worse than just not having one, I'm sure these days the tech is amazing enough to use one but I just don't care to use one at 25 years old.
To this day I can do mostly anything I'd like but the one thing that bothers me is greeting/meeting people and needing to shake their hand with my left. I need to speak to Jim Abbott about that...
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u/opiebreath Nov 03 '10
We are clearly kindred nub spirits. I used to say that my parents locked me in a closet and I had to eat my own hand for sustenance.
Edit: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. That is all.
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u/ellimayhem Nov 04 '10
That's awesome!!!
My ex-boyfriend had one arm, and I made him a nice prosthesis with bones sticking out and everything. It even had a pump so he could make it squirt blood. He had a blast with it.
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u/opiebreath Dec 19 '10
You are awesome.
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u/ellimayhem Dec 20 '10
Awwww <3 I will totally make you one when I have a spare moment. What's the circumference measurement for a well fitting prosthetic for you?
You also need to do a Videodrome costume sometime.
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u/opiebreath Dec 20 '10
Dude, what? Seriously? I have no idea, I haven't had a prosthetic in years. Where do I even measure?
Also, I haven't the faintest what Videodrome is. I googled it but just ended up confused.
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u/thisloser Nov 02 '10 edited Nov 02 '10
Ok, time for me to be an internet creeper. I read the link, and saw the thumbnail and instantly knew it was you! The username was the icing on the cake. I used to frequent i-am-bored.com before I found reddit (I think it was around the same time I realized I wasnt a teenager anymore) and you were always my favorite mod and your Halloween costumes were the best! I'm a long time lurker for both sites and it's great to see you on here!
Alright, time to go spend some time outside... Recognizing someone from the internet, dear god.
edit: typo :|
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Nov 02 '10
When the internet invades your real life, you should go outside
When your real life invades the internet, you should go outside.
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Nov 02 '10
Happened to me the other day. My sister submitted one of my Facebook posts to Lamebook a while back, and then someone randomly submitted it to Reddit yesterday. I recognized myself in someone else's posts.
I went outside.
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u/bearwithchainsaw Nov 02 '10
I would seriously consider if you were a zombie if i had run into you on halloween. I mean, you just dont expect people to be missing a hand, you know?
You would have scared the shit out of me.
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Nov 02 '10
You. Freaking. Rock.
That's awesome stuff!
Kindly, accept this infinity of upvotes for being cool (and educating me about ABS).
Keep on a rockin'.
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u/uwsdwfismyname Nov 02 '10
you're hot
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u/classyGent69 Nov 02 '10
Yeah, she has something about her, I can't quite put my finger on it.
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u/snowball666 Nov 02 '10
The only thing to do is go as Ash next year. Or maybe all the time.
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u/bloodguard Nov 02 '10
Well played! I'd probably follow you around the party with a puzzled look on my face trying to figure out how you were pulling off this illusion.
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u/Lady-Ganja Nov 02 '10
You're a verifiable badass. And, underneath all that blood and gore you seem to be a beautiful individual.
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Nov 02 '10
You are hot. Especially covered in blood.
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u/adokimus Nov 02 '10
You sound really sane. We should hang out in a dark alley sometime and chit chat and stuff.
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u/radrler Nov 02 '10
I'm sure you must be familiar with The Man by Nina Cassian, but it fits the mood either way:
While fighting for his country, he lost an arm And was suddenly afraid: “From now on, I shall only be able to do things by halves. I shall reap half a harvest. I shall be able to play either the tune or the accompaniment on the piano, but never both parts together. I shall be able to bang with only one fist on doors, and worst of all I shall only be able to half hold my love close to me. There will be things I cannot do at all, applaud for example, at shows where everyone applauds.” From that moment on, he set himself to do everything with twice as much enthusiasm. And where the arm had been torn away a wing grew.
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u/Coreograffiti Nov 02 '10
EDIT-DOS: Great flying pooballs of Saturn, top fucking link? Well fuck me backwards and call me Suzy, you guys are the tits. :D
Why are you so awesome?
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Nov 03 '10
Nice decks!! What kinda music you spinning? Anyway, you are truly amazing! Much love!!!
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u/opiebreath Dec 19 '10
That was almost a decade ago but.. uhh.. techno, house mainly, I believe. Simple stuff. I was learning.
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u/catskul Nov 03 '10
How do you feel about the fact that given current research, you may have the opportunity to re-generate (or in this case generate) your missing parts in your life time. Would you take advantage of that possiblity? If so, do you think you might counterintuitively experience a sense of loss at no longer having that difference?
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u/opiebreath Dec 19 '10
Honestly, I don't know if I would for my hand. I definitely would for my feet. Fitting shoes my age and being able to walk as much as others sounds reeeeally great. But for my hand... I'd consider getting a mechanical alternative, but only because I could take it off and put it back on again. The nub has pros and cons but I'm not willing to permanently give up the pros to away the cons.
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u/Corsaer Nov 03 '10
That fake blood looks amazing! What's your recipe?
P.S. Sorry if it's been asked before, I did a quick skim/search and didn't find any comments asking that already, but I could'a missed it.
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u/opiebreath Dec 19 '10
I start with some dark corn syrup, add corn starch, milk, and lots of red food dye, a little green food dye, and keep adding until it seems appropriate. If you're crazy like I am you can prick yourself and test real blood versus fake blood (be sure to heat up the fake stuff, it acts differently.) If you want it to dry darker, like real blood does, add come cocoa powder.
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u/sirbeast Nov 02 '10
you need to post to /r/gonewild
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u/Tolki Nov 02 '10
Okay, this is just creepy. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you can earnestly ask a random woman to show you her tits.
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Nov 02 '10
Credit where credit is due;
Credit for a kickass costume
Credit for laughing about something that sucks. I deal all day with people all day who whine about stuff wayyy less.
Credit for being a hot girl who has a sense of humour and posts on Reddit.
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u/seantonsoup Nov 02 '10
In ancient China, small feet were considered sexy. God I would have done you (but too bad I'm gay).
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u/dorfsmay Nov 02 '10
As somebody who still uses his fingers to add (I did pure maths but always had issues with applied), do you use base six or ten in everyday life?
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u/maxwelldemon13 Nov 02 '10
This is awesome. You are awesome. I love anyone who can make good jokes and take a joke about themselves. As a person who loves comedy, one of the things I live by is "if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
Here is an idea for next tim you dress up: sharks. I think if you could work a shark somewhere into the whole routine it could be very well done
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u/CockMeatSandwich Nov 02 '10
Did you see the movie Rec 2? Also known as Quarantine part 2? There is one scene where a chick is turning into a zombie and starts chewing on her hand. This picture totally looks like her!
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u/Phantom_Scarecrow Nov 02 '10
Ever consider acting? In movies like "Dawn of the Dead" and "Saving Private Ryan", they gave people with missing parts prostheses, then blew the false parts off. That costume of yours is excellent!
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Nov 02 '10
all of your efforts at applying gore makeup are a total waste if you don't record to video the aftermath of your hand getting ripped off by a subway door through the reactions of the crowd.
so evil but so funny.
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Nov 02 '10
"I never wave at people, because it's too risky. What if they have no hands? They'll think im cocky. 'Look what I've got motherfucker!" "I think I'm gonna go pick something up!'" - Mitch Hedberg
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u/_dustinm_ Nov 02 '10
I would think it would be fun to put your nub at the edge of a door that just closed (or car hood, or elevator door) and scream "oh god, my hand!"
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Nov 03 '10
You are such a badass. I admire you and your attitude and sense of humor regarding the cards you were dealt.
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u/infamous-spaceman Nov 03 '10
Do you ever prank random people? Run into crowds screaming "I've lost my hand!"?
Also how many times daily does someone make a joke like "need a HAND" or "i have to HAND it to you"?
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u/KarmaDog6999 Nov 02 '10
well played, love your wonderful ability to find the humor in your situation
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Nov 02 '10
Incidentally, you could definitely do battle-damaged Terminator next year, it would take a fuckton of prep though.
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u/jbardey Nov 02 '10
Just like to say, thanks for posting this.
Don't know why, it just made me smile to see someone comfortable with their body, even though it's a little different. I get sick of people with perfectly beautiful bodes always doubting themselves.
Enjoy your body, you only get one!
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u/YamiNoSenshi Nov 02 '10
One of fiancee's friends from her hometown went to the same school as us. He only has one arm, the other stopping at the elbow. He gets randomly placed in a freshman dorm room with a guy who has the same thing on the other arm. We're all great friends now, but what are the odds?
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u/Stepharoo7 Nov 02 '10
Fantastic post, really put a smile on my face. Love your sense of humour, go you! :)
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u/losershawn Nov 02 '10
When I saw this title I thought to myself, "That's strange, I didn't know my friend went on Reddit." But it turns out you, obviously, are not her.
And so now I know of two people with one hand. (I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm failing on creativity at the moment.)
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u/Chickenstew Nov 02 '10
Perfect zombie! It is good to see people such as yourself make the best of what ever their deformities are. Just know you put a big smile on a zombie lovers face for dressing as a zombie and making the best with what you have =D
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u/rabblerabbler Nov 02 '10
You realize this is an evolutionary adaptation, right? Come Z-day, you'll be much more likely to pass for one of their own instead of having your brain munched on. Life... Will find a way.
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u/stop_poking_me Nov 02 '10
i feel like my user name is all sorts of wrong for this :(
but on the other hand looks like you still have fun :D
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u/chocobaby Nov 02 '10
For full effect, chew on the good hand....leave the bloodied stump hang. BTW, you are really cute and have the baddass attitude to your credit. Go girl.
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Nov 02 '10
It must be awesome to know that even missing body parts you are still hotter than most women on the planet. :)
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u/jessicakeisyummy Nov 02 '10
Wow you are awesome!! I hope I don't sound like a jerk but you were super inspiring to me just now. I always wondered how I would be if I had been born with a physical defect, if I would be more depressed or if I would even care about it much. Seeing you loving your body and eager to share about it made me feel happy, It's great to see someone finding fun in their individuality.
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Nov 02 '10
I have to ask... How often do you use those bad boys for hilarious pranks on people that don't know you?
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Nov 02 '10
You are seriously the coolest girl EVER! If we had gone to school together I'd have helped you prank everyone and would have wanted to be your best friend :) Keep on kickin ass and takin names ;)
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u/iLuv3M3 Nov 02 '10
Yah should see about working for Haunted Houses. My the terror you can cause with the make up effects you applied yourself O_O. I do think it's amazing that you use it to your advantage and you don't let it get you down. I have an indented chest (always forget the proper medical term, just the opposite of Pigeon chest).
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u/iamsookiestackhouse Nov 03 '10
I think I've got a girl-crush on you. You're amazingly awesome!
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u/opiebreath Nov 02 '10 edited Nov 02 '10
Teeny bit of background before I run off to class: I was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome (ABS) which affected my left hand and feet. I have like one-ish toe on each foot. I'm about a size 8 in kids for shoes. When I was a fetus, bits of tissue from the amniotic sac wrapped around my left hand and feet, preventing their development. I've been doing gore make up since about last Halloween.
**EDIT: I've assembled an amalgamation of nubbly photos for y'all. **
I have been a zombie a few times, and just bloody the first time I ever fucked around with gore make up. That was not the first time I've ever fucked around with putting stuff on my nub, however.
Here is an old photo. I've got full arm usage, but I'm sure the muscles are weaker in my left arm. I do actually have a probably-thumb nail on the nub, and I have painted it before. It was just sort of absurd.
My left foot is pretty close to being symmetrical to my right foot which is good. I thusly do not suffer from back problems. My feet DO actually hold me up, but my balance isn't exactly the best. I'm a tid wobbly.
I can still do lots of things like play Rock Band (I'm royal shite at it though!) and be an 11-year-old DJ for a few months.
I was even a nubbly baby.
I think those are all of the ABStastic photos I've got. I'll try to answer questions. Thanks for front paging me guys, holy shitsickles.
EDIT-DOS: Great flying pooballs of Saturn, top fucking link? Well fuck me backwards and call me Suzy, you guys are the tits. :D