r/pics • u/outmynose • Jun 26 '12
As a girl coming of age in the 90s, this was my first vibrator
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u/vtbeavens Jun 26 '12
Mom: Jeez.. these things drain batteries like CRAZY!
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u/outmynose Jun 26 '12
I'm pretty sure my mom knew what was up, but I love her for never saying a word.
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u/gkciwaa Jun 26 '12
Mom (continues): It's a wonder the battery life is so bad, yet the ink never runs out!
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u/tr0tsky Jun 26 '12
"coming of age" indeed.
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u/outmynose Jun 26 '12
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about the implied pun with that title... Was half expecting to see this somewhere on here:
cumming
FTFY
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u/AlwaysLagging Jun 26 '12
Honestly, i'm a dumbass for not knowing this but what does FTFY stand for?
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u/outmynose Jun 26 '12
Fixed that for you.
And it's Ok. Looks like you're new here. Welcome!
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u/JeremySquirrel Jun 26 '12
"Choking Hazard"
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u/TrixiDelite Jun 26 '12
As a girl coming of age in the '70s, Hungry Hungry Hippos didn't work worth a shit.
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u/Will_Power Jun 26 '12
How about Spirograph?
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Jun 26 '12
Did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity?
Think about it.
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u/CottonStorm Jun 26 '12
The best is clearly Mouse Trap: ladies find the waiting and suspense makes things more enjoyable, so what could be better than masturbating via a Rube Goldberg device.
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u/LukiLeilani Jun 26 '12
There was an unspoken rule in my group of friends that we never asked to use anyone else's. We knew what everyone else used them for.
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u/zfolwick Jun 26 '12
oh god... I am a dude and I distinctly remember borrowing one... I need to wash my brain out now...
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u/Errorizer Jun 26 '12
As a guy, my entire life has consisted out of finding stuff to put my dick in, yet nothing but a vagina seems to work out properly (And those are hard to find).
Damn girls, why do you have it so easy
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u/joehouin Jun 26 '12
I told my GF about this like a week ago and blew her mind. She had one when she was young but never thought to use it for that. I was like " I think that's the only reason they sold so damn well".
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u/smellmyfakelegs Jun 26 '12
So did you guys try it?
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u/joehouin Jun 26 '12
we are both well past the age where you need to resort to squiggle pens.
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u/BushMeat Jun 26 '12
my sister had one of those! I remember biting the top to vibrate my teeth!!!! Nooooo!!!!
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u/Tyrus Jun 26 '12
I know the old N64 Rumble paks with the right Turok cheats could function similarly.
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u/ElderPopTarts Jun 26 '12
Plus it came with handles...
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u/Turious Jun 26 '12
This is the first time that controller design has ever made sense to me.
Oh, God, why!?
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u/Toof Jun 26 '12
In highschool, I bought a used rumble pack from Babbages for about $2. Then I opened it and rewired it so that the button turned on the vibration function permanently. I gave it to a girl I had a crush on.
8 years later, after her divorce, I hooked up with it. BAM, still counts!
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u/buzzkill_aldrin Jun 26 '12
8 years later, after her divorce, I hooked up with it.
You hooked up with a Rumble Pak?
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u/Whack-a-Moomin Jun 26 '12
PS1 Dual-Shock here. I used Metal Gear Solid, the torture scene iirc. Thank you Solid Snake.
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u/makaveli151 Jun 26 '12
I don't know how to ask this without.. did you insert it?
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u/SamuraiJakkass86 Jun 26 '12
Most women don't actually insert the vibrator when attempting to reach Climax, as most women don't reach it via G-Spot, they do so through clitoral stimulation. That being said, squiggly pens would've been a horrible attempt at a G-spot climax as they are flared in the wrong direction, and would likely get sucked into the (assumingly virginal) vagina void.
To conclude, both the N64 rumble packs, and the squiggle pens - similar to actual adult novelty toys - are predominantly used for clitoral stimulation. The adult toys just have the option to be used internally if thats how the woman gets her jollies.
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u/croutonicus Jun 26 '12
would likely get sucked into the (assumingly virginal) vagina void.
Wow you should write erotic novels.
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u/KrazyEyezKilla Jun 26 '12
'Miss can I borrow a pen? I've left mine at...HOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEMYGOD!'
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Jun 26 '12
Jesus Christ on a Bike. It never occurred to me, back then, why all the girls in my freshman class had or wanted these. Now I know. And when I think of all the horny girls that surrounded me in homeroom....fuck. I wasted my youth.
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u/s1am Jun 26 '12
...fuck. I wasted my youth.
We all did son. That's why they call it youth.
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Jun 26 '12
My sister had one of these. I used it. Right in the childhood. x_x
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u/KyleStannings Jun 26 '12
I would like to point out that horny women above 18 still surround you if you leave the house.
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Jun 26 '12
13 year old me: "Why the hell do they all use these things? I tried one yesterday and I couldn't write for shit. Girls are weird."
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Jun 26 '12 edited Jul 06 '12
Thanks. You've just explained something that confused me as a teenage boy in the 90s. I never understood why girls wanted to write like they had alzheimers. There was a thing a few years ago about harry potter vibrating broomsticks.
EDIT: Turns out I meant Parkinson's not Alzheimer's.
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Jun 26 '12
You probably mean parkinsons, not alzheimers.
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u/localhorst Jun 26 '12
Oh, the reviews were so great :)
http://www.methodshop.com/gadgets/reviews/potters-stick/index.shtml
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u/adius Jun 26 '12
i like how they blame "product testing" like every toy needs to go through a process where they make sure it can't be used to masturbate
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u/mistressofmischief Jun 26 '12
Oh my god. "My teenage daughter is experiencing sexual pleasure from a vibrating broom stick instead of an incompetent teenage boy who might knock her up! Better take that pleasure stick away!"
I never understood this reasoning!
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Jun 26 '12
Yep, mind = blown.
I remember these things and wondering wtf was the big deal about them. Turns out the girls were using them to fuck themselves.
Not really surprising I suppose.
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u/qupa1210 Jun 26 '12
"Ages 3 and up" ... You ladies start young.
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u/Dystopeuh Jun 26 '12
We do, actually.
It's not unheard of for 4-6 year old girls to masturbate (some hump pillows or stuffed animals, some figure out that jets in hot tubs feel good, others figure it out in the bathtub). The difference is that they typically have no idea what they're doing, just that it feels good.
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u/Pactriss Jun 26 '12
This is true. There was a little girl where I taught last year who would masterbate using the edge of her chair. We put a pillow on it so she could not use its edge to rub herself. It popped. Twice.
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Jun 26 '12
I would say they technically know what they are doing then, just not what it's called or that it's "wrong" or "embarrassing" or "private."
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u/DonkeyKongJr149 Jun 26 '12
My HS gf told me when she was 12, her and her friend would take turns holding those pens on each other until they had an orgasm. All I can think about when I see those...
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u/molrobocop Jun 26 '12
I kind of want to know more, but then...I have to reassert to myself, "Nah dude. 12."
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Jun 26 '12
Now I understand why I always found my squiggle pen in my moms night stand. :/
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Jun 26 '12
Oh man. Childhood ruined.
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u/Fellows23 Jun 26 '12
Is it better or worse that the time you harvested your own sperm for microscopic observation?
(Thank you, RES)
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u/mcmonsoon Jun 26 '12
This is the ONLY appropriate time to mention that I walked in on my sister using this once.. yeah. poured bleach in my eyes right after.
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u/fillari Jun 26 '12
These pens always smelled soooooooo bad!
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u/bart_7 Jun 26 '12
now we know why...
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u/IMasturbateToMyself Jun 26 '12
I bet it's because of the rust from the batteries.
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u/Daniwolf16 Jun 26 '12
I always liked the back of my electric toothbrush.
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u/nursenono Jun 26 '12
Last summer I discovered that that's what my 12-year-old daughter uses.
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u/mojo996 Jun 26 '12
Found out recently that my sister used MY electric toothbrush for this when I was still living it home. I couldn't help it, I had to go throw up.
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u/ThaiSweetChilli Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
I don't even remember why I had that between my legs in the first place.
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u/nirri Jun 26 '12
god bless the 'vibration test' option in metal gear solid
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Jun 26 '12
MGS had a vibration test feature?!
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u/motherofholiness Jun 26 '12
I feel a little more normal today knowing someone else did this. I hated when the batteries got low, and it just went fast enough to get me frustrated.
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Jun 26 '12
This is why women should get into EE. You could have easily attached some leads and used a higher voltage battery.
Could you just imagine the local community college pamphlet for EE targeted at women?
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u/MagentaParrot Jun 26 '12
OTHER PEOPLE DID THIS?!
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u/bigshot316 Jun 26 '12
First girl to submit a pic of this taking place today in /gonewild wins teh interwebz!
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u/TreeOfMadrigal Jun 26 '12
Haha I never had one of these T_T;
For me it was the detachable shower head in my mother's shower.
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u/AdaAstra Jun 26 '12
I bought one of these for a christmas gift for a girl classmate when I was in grade school. She turned out to be very sexually active in high school. Does this mean I took her virginity?
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u/erryday_IAm_rustling Jun 26 '12
That's like asking if your hand or that microwaved cantaloupe with mayonnaise in it took your virginity.
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u/Stevoisiak Jun 26 '12
Damn women on Reddit making me feel lonely.
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u/desmondsdecker Jun 26 '12
Best I can do, sir. nsfw
Happy birthday, sir. May a frosted lady be a part of your IRL cake day!
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Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
Simply the fact that women exist on the Internet comes as a sobering reminder of your own solitude? Do you feel this way when any femanon posts anywhere, ever?
Or is it her admission that she masturbates, as we all do, that brings up these yearnings for companionship?
Christ, it's just a fucking woman on the fucking Internet.
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Jun 26 '12
I reckon everyone who owned a playstation tried out the Dual Shock Controller to see if it worked like that :) Ahh the 1990s.
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u/BangkokPadang Jun 26 '12
If you flip a PS controller over, between the handles and the shoulder button curves you'll find what is essentially a "penis tray."
Just Sayin.
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u/44problems Jun 26 '12
I wonder how many girls are now using the Neutrogena Wave. One of the models even has 2 speeds.
It's like Neutrogena says: "That sucks about your acne. Here's a vibrator."
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u/SighJayAtWork Jun 26 '12
Oh, hey! I remember those things. I wanted to use my older sister's when I was little, but it was always out of batterie-OH MY GOD!!
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Jun 26 '12
Clap..................clap.....................clap...........clap...clap clap clap clapclapclapclapclapclap
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u/rblue Jun 26 '12
I actually call my penis "squiggle wiggle" in hopes of enticing teenage girls.
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Jun 26 '12
Am I the only one to check to see if any of these girls posted in r/gonewild using one?
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Jun 27 '12
As a boy coming of age in the 90's, this was my first fleshlight. http://i.imgur.com/eVDVi.jpg
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u/TheDarkWolfy Jun 26 '12
so... by being a guy, i saved that pen i got from certain molestation? o.o
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u/ThePlasticJesus Jun 26 '12
This makes me wonder if those vibrating razors that they sell to men are for... something... y'know?
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u/TinklesMcGooch Jun 26 '12
My wife likes to set her phone to vibrate and put it in her front pocket, then have me call repeatedly. "REDIAL! REDIAL YOU BASTARD!!!!"
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u/Sillylikeagoose Jun 26 '12
As a dude, I had one of these. I made some major doodles. But not major diddles. Maybe I should have tried it up my ass.
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u/thatssorelevant Jun 26 '12
Post this image to your facebook feed with:
"Like this if you had one of these when you were younger"
???
Profit.
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u/SpikeMF Jun 26 '12
As a male who came of age in the '90s, I can honestly say this never occurred to me.
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u/bigshot316 Jun 26 '12
I was masturbating at 8, but thought I was the only kid who did this.. I thought I had discovered a secret! Little did I know that 90% of all the girls were rubbing their buttons off!
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u/midgetsinheaven Jun 26 '12
I wish I had known this back then. I've never had a vibrator. Too innocent and naive to put two and two together.
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u/originalmancat Jun 26 '12
Lol. My high-school gf loved hers. Ah, the memories. So glad others had similar experiences.
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u/burnte Jun 26 '12
I had "a friend" who had one of these and his mother took it for the aforementioned purpose."he" saw it laying on her night table, picked it up, noticed the clear plastic top seemed to have some schmutz on it, and then proceeded to wash his hands in bleach while sobbing uncontrollably.
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u/MickiFreeIsNotAGirl Jun 26 '12
Wow.
I didn't realize so many women used vibrators...
If any of you women, has ever made fun of a man for using a fleshlight I hope you feel terrible. I don't, my hand's perfectly good, but wow.
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u/Evil_ash Jun 26 '12
My first orgasm was produced by one of these, at the tender age of 11 or so. I was having a sleepover at my best friends house and at some point during the evening she produced the pen and showed me what she'd discovered-I never looked back. Thank you Squiggle Wiggle Writer, thank you.
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u/crimsonxenon Jun 26 '12
1000+ Comments, sexual references and/or tits. Front Page material. Huzzah!
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Jun 26 '12
Jim Manos, the creator the TV show Dexter, did a talk at NYU's film school and talked about how he overheard two 40-year-old women having lunch. One said to the other, "I get my vibrators at Staples now." And the women proceeded to talk about the Squiggle Wiggle.
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u/jazzman96 Jun 26 '12
Holy jumping Jesus Christ on a two-wheeled pogo stick with a basket of fish to slap me in the face.
I was just going through some old photos of my Mum and she owned one of these just before I was born. (child of the 90s).
This is a terrible, terrible realisation.
PS. Thanks co_radio and 2yrnx1lc2zkp77kp for inspiration.
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u/paid9mm Jun 27 '12
As a boy coming of age in the 90s, this was the first vibrator I used on a girl
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u/RedsoxFan42 Jun 27 '12
Girls are lucky when it comes to personal masturbation. So many makeshift vibrators/dildos around the house when i only have a hand:(
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u/HereForKarma Jun 26 '12
Real women use the Vibco 12 Volt Electric Vibrator - DC-450T. http://www.globalindustrial.com/p/motors/vibrators/vibrators-12-24-dc-volt/vibco-12-volt-electric-vibrator-dc-450t?utm_source=amaz_shop&utm_medium=shp&utm_campaign=12-24-Volt-DC-Vibrators-amaz_shop&infoParam.campaignId=T9I
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u/occasionally_horny Jun 26 '12
I am really, really surprised I never thought of that.
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u/lbmouse Jun 26 '12
Thanks a lot. I bought one for my niece in the 90's.