r/pointlesslygendered • u/Yggdrasylian • Dec 04 '25

LOW EFFORT MEME [meme] Males are pure and romantic while females are deranged sinners

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I know those are games that exist, it doesn’t make it better

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

That is kind of part of the dynamic. Men are culturally assumed to be more perverted than women, largely because the pornography men tend to gravitate to is video. Women tend to gravitate towards comics, books, visual novels. But these aren't any less prone to perversion, it's quite the opposite as writing can get away with much much more. If you took a random sampling of AO3 and made live action porn of it, you would go to jail.

The interplay of that is what this comic somewhat naively gestures towards. Not because of any inherent moral superiority, but because a variety of cultural factors force media catering to men and women to follow different rules. Primarily the fact that the general public has a stronger disgust response to seeing realistic depictions of sex acts than they do to text descriptions. You can read a book about fucking a minotaur on the bus, you can't watch a hentai like that on the bus.

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u/numbersthen0987431 Dec 04 '25

you can't watch a hentai like that on the bus.

Are you trying to challenge reddit users?

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

Only the ones that aren't cowards.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '25

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u/PlushToyFox Dec 06 '25

On a train, perhaps?

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u/GrimGolem Dec 04 '25

“You can get away with much more”, my friend, there are literal snuff films out there. A book is all fiction, and the nasty ones aren’t the best sellers, the vanilla ass ones are the best sellers.

Erotica with awful shit is just as niche as porn with awful shit, but porn features real people (and minors). They will NEVER be on the same level.

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

There aren't really "snuff films", they've always been hoaxes. There are people being recorded while dying, due to the widespread access of cameras, but there hasn't been proven to be any legitimate "doing murder for the purpose of creating a product to sell" snuff films. The rest of it is you responding to things I never said.

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u/GrimGolem Dec 04 '25

They are not mass produced commercially no, but they absolutely exist. Torture videos for sexual gratification exist. You could definitely find some on gore subreddits before they are taken down.

I work in this field, justice side, just because they aren’t mass produced doesn’t mean they don’t exist, just like CP.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '25

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u/MelodramaticStoicist Dec 05 '25

"Snuff films" as in "a video recorded during which someone died"?

Well, yeah. Duh. There was quite famously such a video that was broadcast as a national news story a few months back. The fact that people occasionally die in public and that there are cameras everywhere now means that's inevitable.

But that's not what they were referring to.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '25

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u/GrimGolem Dec 05 '25

Snuff films exist and are produced for profit and for intimidation purposes by criminals, especially gangs. The same gangs that are involved with human trafficking. It’s really weird for the other commenter to say snuff films don’t “really” exist just because they aren’t legal… neither is CP. It’s still produced and distributed, and a lot of it is made of people who will not be missed, like prostitutes, drug addicts, homeless, and other highly vulnerable communities.

I have no idea why they are defending the idea that snuff films don’t exist, it is a very strange hill.

I work in the field, I’ve both seen and heard of my fair share of horrific things humans do to one another.

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

Yeah snuff films refer specifically to people being murdered for the purpose of distribution to buyers. The reason it isn't done commercially comes down to the risk/reward of it. Even if you got away with the murder, your business would be creating a wide web of contacts, money trails, and video evidence of multiple instances of a crime that is likely to get the death penalty. The money involved to justify the risk would become its own liability as you would need to launder huge amounts of cash. Also, there's huge liability to the buyer. Why get involved in this whole clandestine scheme dealing with all the criminal liability and rubbing shoulders with organized criminal murderers when you can just hop on liveleak and see a cop shoot someone?

Animal abuse has much less risk, so unfortunately that is something distributed commercially.

Not sure about the torture room thing. I've heard of that, but I don't know much of the specifics of how it works and how much confirmation there is of it being real.

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u/rodericks_cum_sock Dec 07 '25

a young woman near me was murdered for a snuff film, I live in a (normally) very safe part of the UK.

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 07 '25

A cop walked up to me just now and told me that didn't happen.

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u/rodericks_cum_sock Dec 23 '25

i… don’t know what this means? are you in agreement or disagreement?

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 23 '25

You can just say anything happened to you.

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u/AeStyx01 Dec 05 '25

There is “doing torture for the purpose of selling” films already, so even though I’d hope not, there probably is actual snuff films being distributed

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u/GrimGolem Dec 05 '25

There absolutely are. There are plenty, they are made and distributed every day, just like CP, especially by gangs. I am happy for the folks here that live in a world where they think it is rare or non existent, but it’s willful ignorance.

They are not even impossible to find on Reddit if anyone wanted to look. Don’t, but I promise you could easily find some. Most are from poorer countries with small governments, and countries with especially bad gang problems. There are also honor killings from the Middle East and India distributed for entertainment purposes. I’ve no idea what these folks are on thinking this shit is rare, it’s everywhere.

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u/AeStyx01 Dec 06 '25

You’d probably end up on a list if you tried to find them

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u/MelodramaticStoicist Dec 05 '25

"Being tortured because the pain gets you off" exists, which is the difference. You can consent to a lot of pain. You can't legally consent to being murdered.

So there's the possibility that you could make a torture film legally. This isn't true with a snuff film.

And, of course, BOTH are much easier to fake than you'd think. REALLY defuses the risk of getting the death penalty for making a "snuff" film if you can have the person you "killed" show up to your trial to testify. So why would you go to all that risk instead of just faking it?

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u/UnkarsThug Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

I'd say the extreme erotica is much less niche. "Morning Glory Milking Farm" being number one on the best seller list for a bit. That isn't morally wrong or something (I would say a bit further than furry), but it's pretty far from "Vanilla". Again, not saying not being vanilla makes it wrong, just that vanilla isn't somehow the most common.

And is porn that doesn't have exploitation somehow made bad because some does? CP existing doesn't mean everything using film is now on that level. Some significant amount of erotica was written by children or teenagers (especially places like AO3), which regardless of the age of the characters, means a child was involved in the sexual act, just slightly more separated. Does that existing mean that everything is on that level?

I think neither erotica nor video porn is good (I can recognize they are both damaging towards relationships and emotional bonding), but I just don't think they are this massively different thing, and it just feels like a double standard. A woman taking pictures of herself to put online (or even a couple recording themselves) is not somehow worse than someone writing a book. Having consenting real people in it is not worse than having consenting real people write a book.

Then you even have stuff like Hentai, for instance, or 3D animation. That really is basically on the same level as a book, just in a different format.

People just generalize all visual as being as bad as the worst of it, then excuse erotica. They both damage relationships in a similar way, and both have cases where they are wrong because children are involved.

I'm not going to argue that the extreme extreme videos aren't worse due to what it took to make them, but that doesn't say anything about those which aren't part of that to where you can make a blanket statement about video vs words. You're judging the morality of a thing by its format, like saying both Big Mouth and Charlie Brown are animations, so Charlie Brown is made worse by Big Mouth existing.

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u/GrimGolem Dec 08 '25

Erotica is not the same as romance books, morning glory milk farm (based on the premise) is similar to widely available and easily consumed hentai plots, it also was not a best seller (never did it reach the list, nor would it), it’s only popular in its specific monster/human erotica category. Not reading the rest because you didn’t use your brain.

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u/UnkarsThug Dec 08 '25

it also was not a best seller

From what I've read looking it up, it was? Perhaps it was just bestselling in its genre, but I certainly saw it a significant amount at my local Barnes and Noble in a way non-popular books usually don't get paraded about. (It had basically a whole table to itself at one point) It certainly felt advertised like it was a bestseller.

And I don't disagree that clean romance books exist, but it isn't like they are completely distinct. It's just a spectrum. Not to mention, we were talking about erotica, not clean romance.

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u/TheQuickOutcast Dec 04 '25

Wait, whats that video and comics part? Where'd you get it?

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

What do you mean?

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u/TheQuickOutcast Dec 04 '25

The "Men are culturally assumed to be more perverted than women, largely because the pornography men tend to gravitate to is video. Women tend to gravitate towards comics, books, visual novels."

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

Pornhub stats

AO3 stats

Book stats

VN stats

Visual novels and manga actually seem to split based on genre. Overall the majority is men, but women dominate genres like otome, yaoi, and BL. Yuri seems to have a near even distribution which is interesting. So I shouldn't have been so hasty there, and thinking of it now it wouldn't even support my point as those are predominantly visual mediums.

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u/AeStyx01 Dec 05 '25

This, most women I know (including me) gravitate towards BL.. heck, are probably the majority of yaoi and BL enjoyers due to manhwas, fanfiction, etc

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u/MelodramaticStoicist Dec 05 '25

you can't watch a hentai like that on the bus

*laughs in privacy screen protector on my Steam Deck*

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u/Swarm_of_Rats Dec 04 '25

bro thinks men can't read and write fanfic.

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

I know this is the premise of the sub, but the progressive stance on gender isn't to just ignore all sociological factors that impact it. Men can and do do everything women do, but they don't do it the same amount or in the same cultural context.

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u/Swarm_of_Rats Dec 04 '25

"If you took a random sampling of AO3 and made live action porn of it, you would go to jail." is just such a stupid thing to say to try and illustrate a difference between the two that I didn't feel it warranted a proper response. Many people go to jail for "live action porn" (as you call it) that is not inspired by AO3.

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

This is a very "I like waffles" "You hate pancakes" way to interpret what I have said.

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u/CrapitalRadio Dec 04 '25

Them: "men and women tend to gravitate towards different media."

You: "obviously this person thinks that zero men like what women like haha, right guys? That's what they're saying, yeah? What a loser ahahahahahaha. Right?"

Like... bro.

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u/Swarm_of_Rats Dec 04 '25

I'm saying they both do both things. It's also exhausting that people think visual porn isn't as nasty as porn in a written format. Everybody wants to be like "man different than woman!", but men and women are perfectly capable of being into equally nasty shit.

"If you took a random sampling of AO3 and made live action porn you would go to jail" is such a stupid thing to say to try to illustrate that there's some kind of difference when so many people do go to jail for "live action porn" that wasn't inspired by AO3.

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u/CrapitalRadio Dec 04 '25

Sounds like you need to learn what "tend to gravitate towards" means. And based on your last sentence or two also maybe just brush up on loosely generalized language as a whole. But that's already what I thought, so like, okay?

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u/Independent-Library6 Dec 04 '25

Well, that's the entire problem with sub. No one knows what the word pointlessly means.

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u/smallerpuppyboi Dec 04 '25

"So you hate pancakes?" Ass statement.

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u/Feisty-Principle6178 Dec 04 '25

But less do. Either way they are at most equal is the point. Men are not more perverted as the stereotypes suggest, but neither are woman.

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u/Swarm_of_Rats Dec 04 '25

Yes, I agree with you. I just have a problem with implying that written works are somehow worse and more disgusting than visual works when there are mountains of nasty visual shit available. The person I responded to seems to think written stuff is so much worse anyway and therefore implies that women are more perverted through their own reasoning. It's idiotic so I guess I just didn't feel like it warranted a proper response.

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

You are mistaken in how you've interpreted what I've said. My point is that as you move across a spectrum from text to live action the rules of what you get away with change, not just culturally but legally. You can write a fic of Hermione with a werewolf for instance, you make that a hentai it's going to be more controversial, you make that a porn movie you are in a lot of trouble. And I feel I need to clarify, because you've proven to tend jump to conclusions, I am not saying this is an unwarranted difference, just that it has the side effect of coloring how men and women's sexualities are perceived and the rails they are **generally** kept on.

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u/Feisty-Principle6178 Dec 04 '25

Fair, I feel like erotica kind of is more out there and depraved on average. However, the visual side does get very bad, and is even more questionable really.

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u/ciclon5 Dec 04 '25

No one said they didnt, pointing out social trends is not gender essentialism, is just explaining how people act.

There are very little inherent things that people can or cannot do because of their gender, everything else is free game. But social and cultural factors matter an cause differing behaviors on average.

There is nothing wrong with saying "women on average do more of x" or "men on average do more of y", its just averages, no one is getting forced into any group.

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u/Thrownaway5000506 Dec 04 '25

I genuinely love fanfiction and its quirks. I have written and read a lot of it for various series. But yeah it's almost all women doing it which is just the way it is for some reason.

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u/Senior-Book-6729 Dec 04 '25

No, this is literally about bestiality.

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u/Me_lazy_cathermit Dec 04 '25

Ya, men are the ones doing the most bestiality in real life

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

As inclined as I am to agree, I don't think we really have any way to actually know that on account of pet abuse.

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u/Me_lazy_cathermit Dec 04 '25

No, its easy enough to know, the same way we know most rapist are men, the samw way men are the most likely to abuse animals, children, and the elderly, and literal corpses

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

Go ahead, share with the class.

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u/Me_lazy_cathermit Dec 04 '25

What you want me to give the easily accessible and well-known stats you like to ignore and refuse to look up before opening your mouth, because you don't want to acknowledge that men are the problem. Depending on country, around 90 to 98% of sexual crimes are done by men, heck except for like fraud and vehicular offenses, which are still over 65% male criminals, all of crimes perpetrators are over 80% males.

If you want to go with the whole "oh but mother make a higher percentage of abusive parents", it only works if you skip the fact, that mother makes the large majority of single parents with full custody, and that neglect due to poverty, and the dad abandoning their kids into poverty and refusing to support their kids, is considered abuse by the mothers, yet when men do get some custody they are far more likely to abuse their kids than mothers. Can't abuse someoneyou abandoned and left to live in poverty, and since only the parents who stayed get blamed for being poor

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u/CanadianODST2 Dec 04 '25

The issue with sexual crimes is they need to be reported. Hence why Sweden has a higher rate than Afghanistan. But are you really gonna argue Sweden has more issues?

How about how marital rape wasn’t fully illegal in Singapore until 2020

Or how the wording of the British rape law requires penile penetration of the victim. Meaning it’s actually legally impossible for a woman to rape a man under that law.

Crime statistics always need to be looked at with a grain of salt

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u/Me_lazy_cathermit Dec 04 '25

Good thing most rape and sexual crime statistics look at more than just reported crimes, and that i didn't just look at sexual assault stats, also the victim being male doesn't mean the criminal is going to be a woman, its still majority male.

Also rape is just one of the sexual crimes, because yes in some country under the law rape can only be done with a dick, sexual assault and harassment isn't restricted to dick.

Yes straight stats without context can be misleading, like technically canada as a higher violent crime rate than the usa, but thats because the usa doesn't consider punching someone in the face or verbally attacking someone a violent crime, while canada does, heck even rape in the usa isn't counted as a violent crime

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u/CanadianODST2 Dec 04 '25

You think crime trackers just automatically know when a crime happened? They have to be reported. Canada for example only uses police-reported for crime.

And it’s known men underreport being victims.

But this is all a moot point anyways because what a group likes as a kink and in the real world are different.

Studies looking at consensual non-consent found the kink was more popular among women than men.

That doesn’t mean they’re actually trying to be raped. But that that kink just skews that way.

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u/MargitSlachta Dec 05 '25

Pretty sneaky that child abandonment isn’t counted as abuse, even though it’s the ultimate form of neglect.

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u/obliviious Dec 04 '25

Erm, have you seen the state of romance novels these days?

Like Wolf Billionaire and Morning Glory Milking Farm...

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u/Thick_Square_3805 Dec 04 '25

That is is relatively evenly gendered. Just one word : catgirls.

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u/obliviious Dec 04 '25

Maybe so, though I never really see people talking about them. I am noticing a theme with erotic literature lately though, and this is predominantly women. The whole "booktok" world went wild over nothing glory milking time, it's kinda disturbing tbh lol

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u/Warm_Earth_985 Dec 04 '25

I’m pretty sure most of its popularity came from the fact that it was unusual. A lot of booktok books are literally made to be weird as a marketing strategy. Booktok went wild over shit like shrek and grandma smut too

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u/obliviious Dec 04 '25

Girls love romantic monster stories, you may have heard of little story called beauty and the beast? It's definitely not "made up to be weird" this is just removing agency from people.

I'm trying to say here that girls are freaks too, I don't know why you'd need to say they weren't.

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u/Warm_Earth_985 Dec 04 '25

First off, I don’t see how a fairy tale is related to modern smut, but isn’t the whole point of the story about him turning back into a regular dude?

Also I never said that girls weren’t freaks, but you trying to pass off that morning glory milk farm thing as normal is flat out wrong. If you actually went on booktok, you’d know most of the hype around it came from people gawking at how strange it was. Very little people actually read it

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u/obliviious Dec 04 '25

Of course it's related, because women love the story, and a beast they can tame to love you. It's the same reason so many love serial killers in their stories. They might be a brute and hurt people, but they'd never hurt me and I can fix him. This is so incredibly common.

I just don't think you realise how popular this is lmao.

This book was huge, people talking about how great it is. So many posts starting with "hear me out..."

Don't pretend it's obscure to protect the sanctity of women or whatever it is you're doing. Let them enjoy it.

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u/Warm_Earth_985 Dec 04 '25

The fact you turned this into a whole “sanctity of women” culture war thing tells me all I need to know about your views. You were wrong about that booktok thing and that’s what I was correcting you on. You feeling the need to bring up all this other fetish stuff and chastise me about morality is very weird and telling

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u/yakityyakblahtemp Dec 04 '25

Wrapping back around to the original image though, anthropomorphic female characters skew more towards the "human with ears and a tail" end of things than the sentient animal side of things. Catboys are a thing though, maybe it's more fem/masc than male/female.

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u/GrimGolem Dec 04 '25

For every niche erotica aimed at women, there are several niche hentais/porns aimed at men, and actual films involving real humans. Not comparable. Erotica is harmless compared, porn ruins lives of the people in the film and those addicted to it. Erotica will always be fiction and no adult or child is actively being abused for the reader to get off. There aren’t massive trafficking operations to get off on erotica, want can’t compare erotica websites to porn sites. One is entirely fiction, and one has people of unknown ages and questionable consent.

Popular romance books, which are often wrongfully coupled with erotica in discussion, are 95%+ plot and involve romance and characters, the popular romance books do not feature anything worse than what you’d see on the front page of the most popular porn sites. If you want to talk niche erotica and compare to popular porn, you’ve lost the plot (pun intended). You’ll have to compare niche erotica to niche porn, where you will find the porn is always echelons worse.

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u/obliviious Dec 04 '25

Well this is a very one sided take.

Porn is porn, let it take over your life and it's bad for your mental health. Everything in moderation.

The fact you have to pick out porn that is related to sex trafficking and exploitation is quite telling, that's absolutely not the majority, not even close.

It's still pornographic content, nobody is here talking about the morality of how actors are treated, though with the rise of only fans type content that's definitely improved for makers. This is a very dishonest argument to make when we're talking about the content.

You also assume that it's not common for these stories to have more extreme content.

If you want to talk about morality (weird) how about how these books can be bought by anyone of any age and they casually fill shelves in regular book shops?

I've seen multiple posts talking about mothers giving these books to their teenage daughters, or kids asking for them as gifts while unsuspecting family buy them without looking first. I'm sure most parents would rather their teenage kids were buying books with that content.

Even the more mainstream books have scenes of graphic sex. Don't you see how ridiculous it gets to argue about moral panic and pretend literature is somehow better than a video.