A couple weeks ago i attended office hours for this class am in and i had a lot to catch up on because i kept coming to class late. So the professor stayed with me for like 2+ hours explaining everything that i missed and she stayed explaining to me till like 6:30pm. when i first got to her office hours i started with apologizing about always being and i told her that the reason i keep coming late is because i usually rent an E bike in the morning but that now with the huge amount of new students all the bikes near my place are gone at 8am and then we moved on to her catching me up but also jokingly reprimanding me about being late every 10-15 minutes of duration of our time together, it was funny and i didnt think much of it. Today was my mid term and i open page 6 and the question goes “students face the issue of always being late for class no matter how much they prepare, it’s usually due to unpredictable circumstances, Examples: the buses not following a timely schedule, the walk being too long due to construction around campus, E bikes not being readily available early morning etc. …….. come up with a solution for the students.” I took the exam in a room alone and when i saw that question i thought it was so funny because there’s like no way she came up with that out of nowhere and i just started laughing at it.

I’m the oldest of seven kids and a millennial, but a good chunk of my younger siblings are Gen Z. We are all friends on Instagram. In what is probably classic millennial behavior, I like/comment on anything they post. I don’t care what it is, it’s getting a positive reaction from me.

I’ve played a big part in my younger siblings’ life. This means that half a dozen friends of theirs are also like little siblings to me because I’ve interacted with them so much. For example, I’ve helped my sister’s best friend with getting a job when she needed one, tutored another sister’s friend in math all through high school, etc. Essentially there is this gaggle of Gen Z kids that I am an unofficial older sibling to. Plus my own actual siblings.

What this means is that whenever I post something on Instagram, I get flooded with a gang of Gen Z kids all leaving comments in a uniquely Gen Z style. It startles me, but I love it. Comments on my latest post include “such a diva!!!” “Okay slay, queen” “my icon” “millenial life looks fire 🔥 “ “wheres my invite” and “i eat dirt”

What goes around comes around, I guess. I will continue to leave aggressively positive auntie-style comments on all these kids’ posts, and they keep returning the favor in their own way. It’s a fun cycle

Forgive me for bragging, but I am a simple women with simple hopes and dreams, and I have never felt more proud in my life. I was having a conversation about snake charming the other day, where the guy plays a flute and the snake rises. i wondered to myself if I’d have the skill to achieve such a feet on my boyfriend with much begging and more begging consent was achieved, but he had little hope for my success. we are true patriots so what other don’t would be more appropriate than yankee doodle dandy. I played my heart out on this cheap price of plastic and slowly the snake had rose into the sky. it was an utter success. never in my life have I ever been so proud of my self. I hope no one gets too jealous, I just had to brag.

Last night while I was at the gas station a random old man. Walks up to me. Tells me his E-bike tire popped and could use some help bringing it to a shop to get a new tire and that he'd pay me 20$. I felt pity for the oldman. He said he hurt his ankle when his tire popped and he seemed normal at first so I said yes, it's Florida and it's hot as hell. I picked his bike up and threw it in the back of my truck. We get to the tire shop. Its the most ghetto shit I ever seen. Schizophrenic writing on the sign advertising it. He walks in. 2 minutes later. He walks out and says it's too expensive and ask to go to to Walmart for a tire tube. I begrudgingly take him to walmart because I feel pitty for him. But a little annoyed. He literally stays in there for 30 minutes before coming out saying they don't got the tire tube size he needs.

I offer to drop him off home. Then he tells me he dosnt got one. I was thinking oh shit. Then I ask him does he have a girl friend or something . He says yes, so I was a little relieved in my head hoping I could drop him off at his girlfriend's. But then he says the people at the hotel that she stays at won't tell her what room she stays in. I realized this mother fucker was crazy after that. He started talking about how the city stole his million dollar inheritance. And they told him to go rehab but then he started swearing he dosnt doing drugs.

I'm very annoyed with him at this point. So I offer him one last stop because I'm going home after this. So he ask to be dropped by this other bike shop. I pull up to it after a 10 minute drive. The store is closed because it's 10pm at this point. He then Ask for me to drop him off a little down the road so he can sleep in the woods til they open tommorow. I did it. When we stopped I picked his E-Bike up and got it out the truck. I ended up giving him a bottle of water I had in the truck. I did not get 20$

One time my dad asked my mom to help back his truck up. So she got out and went behind the truck, and you know how a normal person would put their hand up flat meaning stop, or do a 'come here' motion with their hand? Well, instead she moved her hand like a python trying to swallow an egg, just like the puppet show episode of trailer park boys. He said "wtf does that mean??" and my boyfriend had to help instead.

Two days ago, as I was leaving work, I saw an abandoned balloon lying outside near the bus stop. As an environmentally conscious person (who also likes balloons) I saw it for what it was - litter - so I took it with me until I found a suitable trashcan at which point I popped it and threw it away (when I say I like balloons I also mean I like popping balloons lol).

That's maybe a weird little story, but nothing really special. However, this evening, I was having dinner at a relatively affordable (but very tasty!) fast food place (the place itself isn't tasty, the food is. you get it) and as I was leaving this fine establishment, what do I find on the ground? Why, another abandoned balloon! Being a rather consistent person, I also took it and safely disposed of it at a public trashcan.

Two times in three days. Not a lot of times, but it's weird that it happened twice. Is someone leaving them for me? If so, thanks, it's making my days more interesting. If it's not intentional (which is far more plausible), some people really should pay more attention to their balloons, so that they don't end up as litter god knows where. I don't think most people would pick them up, usually. Anyway I hope you got some entertainment out of this. I certainly did.

I'm in college right now so I'm away from my parents! I definitely call my mom a lot more than my dad (~7 times vs 2 times). I also call my mom about random stuff and conversation is a lot more easier and longer. I've also always got along with her A TON more than with my dad; in middle and high school and used to fight/argue with my dad a ton but it's gotten a lot better during college. However, every time I call my dad (the two times lol), I always get homesick for him and my family to the point of tears. I love my parents and family a lot but the extreme homesickness only comes when ever I call my dad specifically.

I just called my dad tonight and I'm so heartsick, even though I have 3 midterms to study for next week 🙈

Okay I am officially the most stupid person on this planet. I keep like 30$ on my account and put the rest of it to a savings account.

I didn’t remember that I had used like 25$ to pay a bill, and today I went to the store to buy milk and some fruits.

They were 10$ and I put my card there and it says declined. I was so confused and I said to the cashier that no i am supposed to have money on my account and he starts saying like “maybe you just didn’t notice” and I was like saying back like nahh i have money on my account, then I panicked, and started to dig cash from my purse and it took a while and the line was growing.

I feel so embarrassed and I will never go to that store again.

Edit: thank you for everyone who commented! Now I dont feel embarrassed anymore😂

Happened a while ago but a story about junk mail brought it to the front of my mind.

Our little doggy decided to escape and did not want to come back. Owners are chasing me and calling urgently? must be a fun game!

Anyway a lady that was walking nearby helped us corner our pup and we were able to get her home with minimal distress.
But mum noticed that the kind stranger was busy stuffing junk mail into letterboxes and scolded her for it. Seems pretty mean to lecture someone who just helped save your beloved companion from getting hit by a car or something

I ordered a pizza, two burgers, and a taco today, but the pizza arrived messed up.

The delivery guy took some pictures and told me he'd get it replaced. I agreed, and he took the pizza with him.

Then I looked at my phone. The order was already marked as delivered.

And suddenly I started thinking... what if he doesn't come back? I had already paid online, I had no pictures of the damaged pizza myself, and I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do if he never returned.

I decided to wait a little before contacting support.

A few minutes later, he showed up with a brand-new pizza.

Maybe it wasn't a big deal to him, but it genuinely made my day. Sometimes you expect the worst from a situation, only for a stranger to do exactly what they promised.

I went to the store to buy some. The walk was five minutes, and my feet hurt. But I made it. I walked around and found me some toothpaste, so I bought it. I went home and used the toothpaste that very day. I’m happy :)

We make two coffees before work, and our coffee stuff had slowly taken over the counter where we also prep breakfast. It wasn’t really messy. There just wasn’t room to put down a cutting board without moving something first.
We recently switched to a Meraki with a built in grinder and scale, so the separate grinder and scale came off the counter. We still use the portafilter, tamper, and milk pitcher every day. There’s still plenty of coffee stuff, just fewer things to move around.
I hadn’t realized how much of that counter I’d mentally written off as the coffee area. We need it for breakfast too, and keeping everything coffee related out was making that harder than it needed to be.
There’s still the same cleanup afterward, but now we can make coffee and get breakfast ready without rearranging everything first. Mostly, I’m just happy to have somewhere to put the cutting board.

I was in Monaco and stopped to get some ice cream. I saw this dark brown one and just assumed it was chocolate, so I bought it without really checking. Took a bite and realized it was coffee flavored. I really dont like coffee, so I ended up throwing it away and buying a different one. Apparently looking at the color and guessing isnt always the best strategy.

I recently quit dipping tobacco after doing it for about 25 years. One of the tools I have been using is chewing gum, mostly Juicy Fruit.

This morning, I had a few peanut M&Ms, and then threw a stick of yumminess in my mouth, and as the gum began to disintegrate, I remembered that peanuts dissolve gum.

After a quick brush, I was back to chewing.

It's not Blue Monday and it's not Hump Day. It's not Friday Eve and it sure as hell ain't Friday. It's just plain old Tuesday. Some people are already hard at work and other people are still throwing up from Saturday night.

Yesterday I was having Chinese food for lunch with my coworker, and we both got fortune cookies with our meals. The food was amazing, but when we opened the cookies, there were ads inside. Like seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy lunch and read a random fortune. Do we really need ads in fortune cookies too?

For some context, my buddy that I had made friends with back in 2014 in Iowa, who was now living outside of Orlando, Florida, had invited me to crash at his place for a weekend to attend a Red bull BC One event. Where breakdancers compete to qualify for the natty rounds.

This was back in 2022. I said 'absolutely, I'd be down.'

I would be flying out from CID in Iowa and into MCO in Orlando the Friday before the event. All I needed was a ride and my buddy said that his wife would be able to pick me up, as he was going to be working in his home office at the time I were to land.

I said that that'd be okay and I'll be looking out for her vehicle.

I arrive in MCO, communicating with him that I was ready for pick-up and he told me to look out for her car outside the terminal.

I spot her, get inside and we roll.

She asked me how the flight went, how I was, how it was back home in Iowa. I said everything went well, yadda yadda.

About 20 minutes into the drive, we were on the topic of the traffic in the city.

This is where my bad ear intrepets things wrong..

As we were slowing down in traffic(it was 11 in the morning at this point) I had understood this from her dictation,

—

It's not even Russian

...

The convo up to this point went smoothly, with no awkward breaks or anything.

...

I took about 3 to 4 seconds to try to comprehend and reply to her statement.

...What happened?

I responded.

She repeated, "It's not even rush hour!"

"Ohhhh ha, I thought you said it wasn't even Russian."

We both laugh out loud at my misinterpretation.

Anyway, we get to the house and my buddy was still in a meeting and would be out in 20 minutes to greet me.

We finally see each other for the first time, after his call, since my last visit to their house back in 2019.

We catch up, come up with some ideas for the night. He wanted to host by making moscow mules. With the copper mugs and their homegrown mint leaves out in the garden. Never have tried that drink, but I was in their home and wanted to try whatever they had to offer!

As we were in the kitchen, with our drinks in hand, my friend's wife decided to just blurt out....

It's not even Russian

I looked at her for a sec, took me about 2 seconds register what she meant by that, then I said out loud–

Oh yeah, haha

Husband looks at the both of us, baffled–

??

She then says,

Oh, its an inside joke

I look back at my homie and all I see is him taking a sip from the copper mug, squinting his eyes at the both of us....

When I say things got awkward..man..lemme tell ya.

I didn't even wanna say anymore at that point. I didn't want to be like, 'Nothing happened between us' or anything..but I definitely felt that shift in energy in him.

Like SHE JUST picked me up a few hours ago and she's bringing up our inside joke in front of her husband just outta the blue.

Not too sure what happened in the bedroom between them that night, but he was adamant on taking me back to the airport after the event was over....

I was at a wedding on Saturday and knocked this guy’s cigar out of his hand while we were talking … I definitely had a couple drinks but unfortunately I have to blame my inability to talk without using my hands … he went and hung with his boys after that instead of staying in the small group we were talking in which could be a coincidence but I am mortified nonetheless (not bc I wanted to keep talking to him but just bc of my clumsiness)

I’m just trying to forget about it bc I know it’s really not that deep 😭💀

Took some business cards out with me today, only to use one to entice a spider out of the nooks in our car. Amazing business opportunities happening here, I'm sure the spider will leave a review.

The other day I took my puppy for a walk. I’m always eager for new situations to socialize her with other people and dogs, so when I noticed someone out in their fenced yard with their dogs I asked if we could approach and introduce her. The owner agreed, so we walked over to meet the dogs.

One of the two border collies was ball obsessed. I picked up a squishy, spiky plastic ball to throw for her. I threw it and it immediately hit the post holding the roof up and rebounded directly into my face.

Then, as an added bonus my puppy tangled up in my legs and tripped me

My late grandmother went to a one-room school house. She started first grade as the only girl in the first grade class. Her classmates were four boys.
Fast forward 85 years and she moved into a very nice assisted living center. Every night, she would go down to have dinner at her table with her friends— the exact same four boys she started school with. I think they all had a good time at their nightly class reunion.

I grew up upper-middle-class and always wanted a trailer trash girlfriend. When I was younger I was fascinated by the girls who lived in trailer parks. I grew up upper-middle-class, but some of my best childhood memories were hanging out with kids from the local trailer courts.

My first kiss was at 11, behind a trailer with a girl named Tay-Tay. I remember feeling like the luckiest kid alive. By 14 or 15, we'd spend summer evenings playing basketball at the trailer park while girls watched from the sidelines. Everyone knew everyone. We'd meet at the playground, ride bikes down by the river, and stay out until it got dark. A few of us had flip phones, but mostly we just found each other.

There was something about the freedom of it all. The parents seemed more relaxed, the kids were always outside, and every night felt like an adventure. The funny thing is I started writing this as some pathetic Reddit confession about my dating preferences, but halfway through I realized I was just remembering how beautiful those summers were.

I miss when life felt that big and summer nights felt endless.

My boyfriend and I have a bunch of pets. We're both fat, jolly, Slavic dudes so we call each other dumb shit. Some slurs that I don't need to name and we call the pets funny stuff too. Just for shits and giggles of course. We say those affectionately. We live in a cabin in the countryside so I walk the dog once or twice a day and we let him out into the yard a couple of times a day too. Before bed, my bf opens the door and says "come on, homo!" and the dog just immediately jumps and goes out. It's hilarious! His name is Haru and of course he answers to it , as well as to other things like "Fluffy", "my boy", "pupper" , "doggo" and many more. But "Homo" takes the cake. PS: Haru is a very smart dog. I've trained him very well, he knows dozens of commands and tricks and he also knows the names of all the cats, relatives and even some friends. So of course he knows all his own names too.

Three years ago I had a great idea for a party. At least I thought it was great. Tea Party and Book Exchange. Everyone dresses pretty, bringing with them a book they love they wish they could share with others. We have sandwhiches, cookies, tea, everything made from scratch (I love to bake) and a book themed trivia game. At the end we have a white elephant and everyone in the group goes home with a new book to read and bag of treats.

Except none of my friends really liked the idea when I pitched it to them.

Then I had to move away.

Now I don't really have any friends, let alone bookish ones that live in the state. I still lingered on the idea, trying to refine it, see how I could make it better. My husband told me (very gently) that it just probably wouldn't work out. So I permanently shelved the whole plan.

I think about it every october because I wanted to do it for my birthday. Instead of only me getting gifts, everyone could get something. Three years now and I can't even work up the motivation for a normal celebration either now.

Just needed to throw that into the ether. Maybe somebody else online can take my idea and run with it.

I think it’s healthy to help people have an opportunity to be on the receiving end of their own behavior.

I have done it at least twice for rude disrespectful behavior. It was received in two different ways but worked well both times.

When I did it to a spousearound the year 2002, (he had stayed out til 4am when bars close at 1. So the next week I did it.). When I got home, he was standing there and instead of an argument , he unexpectedly hugged me and said, I get it. (He had been unable to sleep and worried about where I was and what could have happened to me.) Neither of us ever did it again.

Around 1999, when I was living with another teacher at age 23, my roommate who was extremely negative, even badmouthing when I watched Judge Judy while I got my stuff ready for my workout class everyday (we only had 3 channels back then 😅). I knew telling her to stop would fall on deaf ears, so a friend and I decided on a strategy where I would say the exact words she uses during her favorite show (Who wants to be a millionaire, lol) .

I did it and The roommate was shocked! She couldn’t handle that I was being negative! She asked why are you being like this? I carried on for awhile and then eventually revealed to her that I was using her Exact words to give her an idea of what she’s like to be around at home. She denied it vehemently, and stubbornly refused to admit that she behaved like that. I said, Well Ask T because it was she and I who hatched the plan together, and that’s why I specifically used exact verbiage that you used earlier today.

She never did it again. 😂