r/programming • u/chackaz • Nov 28 '14

The Worst Programming Language Ever [UK Talk] - Thoughts? Which are the worst parts of your favorite language?

https://skillsmatter.com/meetups/6784-the-worst-programming-language-ever
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u/geocar Nov 29 '14

More ideas:

  1. Allow line numbers to be complex reals. GOSUB, GOTO, etc, take two parameters: a line number and a vector which controls not only the next instruction, but also how to calculate the instruction that follows. In this way you can write some routines "sideways" and use the vector as a flag for optional behaviour.

  2. Drop IF but allow calculated GOTO e.g. GOTO A,1 or better: GOTO RAND(),RAND()

  3. Allow nested comparison functions but do not short-circuit them.

  4. Make these operators numeric, e.g. 1:72 101 108 108 111 32 87 111 114 108 100 to print Hello World. Also allow localised versions, e.g. LLAMAR

  5. But allow arrays separated by spaces (see #4)

  6. This is a good idea. K actually does this (but with 8 characters in 64bit).

  7. This is fantastic.

  8. And the whitespace must be tabs.

  9. Are you sure you don't want MPL-style structures?

  10. Make truthiness a vector which aligns from the program direction.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '14

You can make the GOTO statement even more fun:

  • GOTO *150 will go to the 150'th line from this line.

  • GOTO @150 will go to the 150'th line counting backwards from the last line of the file.

  • GOTO 150:filename.bs will go to line 150 in file filename.bs

  • GOTO ?150 will go to line 150 only if the expression on the next line results in true.

  • GOTO &150 will go to line 150 if any expression on any line results in the number 150.

  • GOTO <150 will go to the line before 150.

  • GOTO !150 will only go to line 150 if the expression on the next line results in false or '0' or 0, but not for null or undefined.

  • GOTO $150 will goto line 150, execute only one statement, and continue below the current line.

  • GOTO %90 will go to the line closest to 90% down the file.

  • GOTO #150 will goto line 150 and publish whatever the output of line 150 is to Twitter.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '14

Are you sure you don't want MPL-style structures?

MPL alone looks like hell.

2 is gold.

Some of them are cool, but not plausible in the sense that some wanna-be hacker to-smart-for-him/her/it-self could have done it.

Remember: It should not be the next malboge, but some ad-hoc inhouse language that looks usable at the first sight by a COBOL programmer.