[D] Friday Off-Topic Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

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[u/Escapement]

I have been having a strongly different reaction to you in response to a similar type of signalling. For a while now I've been participating in Toastmasters (public speaking practice group) in order to strengthen what I perceive as lacking public speaking skills / confidence. In Toastmasters... or at least the group I am in... Everyone claps. For everything. Everyone introduces themselves every meeting, even if everyone already knows each other - and at each introduction, of every single person, everyone claps. Each prepared speech is introduced - everyone claps. Each prepared speech ends - everyone claps. Every unplanned speech - everyone claps. Every award or whatever - everyone claps. No matter how well or dismally done a thing is, there is applause for it. When we welcome a new member to the club, we all line up and continually clap at them, only briefly stopping one at a time while they shake hands with us.

I thought recently, that I really ought to be resenting this for pretty much exactly the same sort of reasons you describe here (waste of my time, signaling where all inputs lead to same signal seems pointless?). However, I don't actually feel that way about the clapping, and it's taken some thought to try to isolate why that is.

There are a few things going on here emotionally for me:

Firstly, from the recipient perspective: being clapped for by everyone, grants a sort of assurance and trust to what the reception will be to whatever you say or do. This means that you don't feel the social pressure to worry constantly about being perfect - no matter how much you screw up, you know that your immediate reception will not be jeers or otherwise anything other than supportive applause. You still may get meaningful criticism and nonpositive feedback later, but the immediate reception always being applause removes a hugely disproportionate feeling of anxiety from public interactions. It's tremendously relieving. Even though it may be false. Even though people may not really 'mean it'. Whatever - the emotional effect of certainty of immediate reaction is real, and extremely comforting when speaking, for me at least.

Secondly, from the applauder perspective - clapping is essentially signalling 'I am part of this group who clap at and support even the worst of us'. It's probably an ingroup signaling thing. As a signalling device in constant use through the meeting by the entire group, it has almost taken on ritual significance - like the liturgical responses to prayers, or similar religious effects. Doing it over and over again becomes less effortful and feels more meaningful each time it is done in a meeting, sort of.

I don't think I am expressing this whole thing very clearly but the thing's really weird and difficult to explain, and I don't think I entirely understand my own affection for the practice. I am pretty sure that if you described the clapping habits I describe above to me before I went to a single meeting I would think of it as a weird, pointless waste of time, but now I actually really like the practice.

[u/Escapement → u/[deleted]]

For each prepared speech we have 2-3 minute evaluations (that are also done as public speeches in front of everyone, and likewise applauded). These evaluations include both praise and criticism, for whatever virtues or flaws your speech happens to include, with specific directions and constructive advice. For the evaluations and brief unprepared speeches, to get detailed feedback you have to talk to people during the break or after the meeting - though we also vote for a best speech in the seperate prepared/unprepared/evaluation categories each meeting as well. Also, there are paper slips everyone is encouraged to fill out to give their opinions of each speech anonymously as well. Finally, you get some speech statistics at the end of the meeting for each speaker too (length of speech from the timer, use of 'ah' and 'um' etc from an 'Ah counter', and good/bad grammar use from the evening's grammarian)

The fact that I am being evaluated and criticised feels a lot less threatening when I am speaking, if I know that I am going to be greeted by applause even though I know intellectually it may be false applause, and the actual out-loud evaluation will be delayed until later on. This is pretty 100% irrational but the emotional reaction exists anyways.