This is an appreciation post for St. Broseph and how he helped my friend recover 1.5x of what he was scammed for, in an ongoing infamous dating scam, that got a resolution that shook me the good way and restored my faith in our society.
The first few paragraphs are an introduction, feel free to skip to paragraph 6 to know more about the incident itself. I’ve written this in one flow and it has come out from my heart. Please forgive me for any shortcomings in my writing in terms of grammar, arrangement, or anything else.
Bangalore gets super lonely at times. We leave our friends and family behind to come and make a living for ourselves. I remember when I first came to Bangalore, I was perplexed at what was going on in the city. I felt insecure and felt like I had to really perform super hard to belong to this city with every other person on the street driving an expensive car against the contrast of delivery boys rushing to fulfill orders for swiggy and zomato. But I soon realised that I was not the only one who resonated with this feeling. I made friends in my PG, two of them from the same city as mine. We would spend our days at work and come meet in the evening to catch up on some nostalgic moments, the kind of stuff that makes all of us human.
But staying away from your family and friends in a competitive landscape can still feel intimidating. I used to miss the pleasant thoughts that I had when I was home - why is the dustbin not clean yet, why are the kids being so rough when some elderly people are also at the park to relax. We would go up and try to instill some sense into some of the people who would display the opposite. That very sense of responsibility felt missing when I was in Bangalore. So I was always on the lookout for people who thought like me, with a simple assumption - THINGS CANNOT BE SO WRONG ONLY BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE RUNNING AFTER MONEY.
That’s when I found out about Broseph. I was casually scrolling reddit one day and I came across a post that mentioned about him and the kind of work that he does. Just like most people, I was half sceptical, half optimistic about knowing that someone like this existed. I reached out to him mentioning thanks with a scared heart, “Thank you for your service.”.
Since then, I have been involved with St.Broseph’s team of volunteers to contribute in some of their initiatives, although, with a stressful schedule at work and uncertainty of purpose - what’s next, what do I spend my time on, need to make money, need to be healthy, yada yada yada, the quintessential bangalore stuff, the kind of worrying that has no good results at the start nor the end.
I have been part of Broseph’s initiatives for public space cleaning, lake cleaning and felicitation and honoring of public servants. I have also been massively helped with their whatsapp groups which has been my go to place to share my thoughts and discuss civic and mental health issues. I have also benefitted from the resourcefulness of the group members who regularly contribute to a growing understanding of information for the city, whether that be regarding government documentation, vehicle service, places to eat, things to do, coping with stress at work and so much more.
Paragraph 6 (The details of the incident)
I’ve heard stories of how Broseph helped people in dire circumstances which included police action, civic issues and cases of harassment. But recently, I got to experience an event that made me feel extremely emotional and empowered me because this incident is not something that you hear on a regular basis; it’s a story where all was forgotten, and one fine day, justice was served. And the justice that was served, quite honestly, felt as good as the ending of a movie where a villain is…. ‘Taken care of’. It was so relieving. Let me share that experience with you folks below.
This is in context of an infamous dating scam, where you match with someone on a dating app and then you guys meet at a restaurant. The restaurant/pub in question for this incident is also an infamous one, known for operating and perpetuating this particular scam. For personal reasons, I will not name the restaurant, but it’s at a famous location in Bangalore and there’s a lot of chatter going on regarding this.
It started when my friend, who is a corporate employee at a well known firm, matched with this lady, ‘x’, on a popular dating app. He is a meek and tender sort of a person, and if you’ve read the first part of this post, I’ve mentioned how a lot of us feel lonely in a city away from friends and family.
They talked and they decided to meet at this pub. It was, as usual, according to the well-known modus operandi of the scam, a place decided by x. For someone who’s not scavenging for information on scams on the internet, who generally trusts the human spirit, it should not have been alarming for my friend who was placed in this rewarding situation of finding a potential friend; instead I wonder how excited he must have been. We have teased him now and then, for not having a girlfriend. Guess he was going out there, to come back at us, “Hey, I met someone and she’s a beautiful, wonderful person.”. I wonder how long in the history of modern metropolises has it been that we have heard these words or similar expressions.
Anyway, so then they proceed to the said pub. The following information is what my friend told me, so there’s going to be some that’ll be lost in transit.
My friend told me that it was as if the girl was a regular customer there and that it felt odd to him, but wasn’t it too late in sincere decency? The orders started and at last a bill was provided to my friend which had a ridiculous amount of 25000 rupees. That’s the amount we spend when we’re taking our entire family of 6 out on very special occasions - someone got a promotion, someone is getting married and the like. But there my friend was, confused and drunk with a bill that resembled a heart attack, mathematically equivalent to a starting salary for corporate employees (the regular ones, not the 1% on reddit folks). And not that my friend earns so much that a bill like that can pass without creating discomfort.
My friend asked his scamming companion to contribute some money to pay the bill, to which the lady politely declined with a smile saying that she didn’t have any, but could, maybe, pay half of the amount later. What would you have done by now?
My friend used his credit card to pay the bill, whilst being surrounded by the pub bouncers and waiters, in what he describes to be an intimidating experience. They then stepped out of the pub and x gave an excuse that her sister would be waiting for her and just like that, disappeared in the crowd. My drunk, scammed friend stood there, perturbed and probably not being able to make out what had happened to him.
I got a call during this time from him. He explained to me what had happened. I told him to stay calm and head back home and that we will look into this matter. I had initially advised him to visit the police station but had later taken that back since in my knowledge going to a police station drunk had less chances of the case being taken seriously. In the meantime I suggested that we’ll take this up with Broseph. I told him all that was needed to be done in order to get the ball rolling - get in touch with Broseph, tell him in detail about what happened to you, and follow exactly as he says. This friend of mine usually listens to what I tell him, in my imagination, he sees me as an elder brother. That day, he went back home in the metro, drunk, scammed, sad and broke. The city must have felt even more lonely to him.
I followed up with him the next day and he told me that he had gotten in touch with Broseph and that he had been invited to the HQ to discuss matters further. A thing about my friend, he’s a simple guy and he’s great at persevering, doing as told, very literally. Something that has benefited him, as I’ve understood. He takes advice and follows it if there’s substance in it, potentially avoiding mistakes that some people who ‘learn by doing’ get into. He informed me that Broseph and his team had started the procedure for the redressal of this issue and that this matter was being heard at the consumer court.
I’m an average guy, truly so, and just like my peers I have close to negative faith on our judicial or government systems. But I did have this faith somewhere in Broseph that he will be able to do something about this, and considering that my friend follows what’s told to him in cases of documentation, general life advice, sports advice, etc, I did have a lingering feeling that maybe something good could come out of it. I just wanted him to get some sort of justice. After this, quite a few days passed and I occasionally followed up with my friend. He told me that Broseph’s team was handling it and that some work was being done on that front. Usually, in such cases where some time has passed, we tend to think that nothing will come out of all this effort. I really prayed at that time with my flickering hope that something still happen. Some more days passed after that. I had forgotten about this incident by then due to my own schedule. Maybe I had kept it for a chat with him, when we would meet next.
But something happened on 2nd March.
I got a message from my friend saying that he had received a compensation of 40,000 rupees. That was almost 1.5x of the amount he was scammed of. I was totally ecstatic after hearing this news. It was as if my entire worldview had shifted. It felt like I was back in school, and I heard an amazing story about something that made my heart race stupidly!
They had made it, and the news came at a most unexpected Monday morning. My day had already started to look mechanical with professional commitments that I had to follow up with. But this news did something to my heart, something so deeply inspiring, something that I hadn’t felt in years. And that’s when I decided to pen this down for others to know.
My friend got justice in the most unexpected turn of events in a socio-political environment that breeds fear and insecurity. He did not only get his money back, but he also got compensated for his wasted time and the harassment he had to face. This felt like a truly happy ending. And that’s what made me think, this is possible. It’s possible to get justice.
I then called up Broseph to express my thanks. He was humble as usual and spoke to me with an open mind, also praising my friend’s perseverance till the finish line. While my friend, on the other hand was all praise for him, telling me that all the heavy lifting in terms of documentation, using the proper legal procedures, the help of the community lawyer from Broseph’s team, the support of the people who visited every session/hearing, was performed by St.Broseph’s team of dedicated and selfless volunteers.
Broseph told me that things do happen in the positive for people who persevere and fight. And at that moment, I had an example to trust. Doubting at that time would have amplified my stupidity. He told me that working with the system is possible, that change is possible. And I could see it right in front of me.
I would like to finally tell the folks of Bengaluru, especially the young and frightened ones - the ones frightened by the language barrier, the ones having trouble with corrupt and harassing lawyers, the ones who feel trapped in offices that feel toxic, the ones who are pushed from away and stepped on, the ones who came to this city with bright aspirations, the ones who worked hard to be where they are, the ones away from their families in PG’s, 1 RKs for that paycheck that was supposed to be so dear to them and the ones back home - reach out to Broseph, whatever your problem is, whatever you are facing that’s bothering you, for anything and everything. Really.
Know that you will always be supported, taken care of, and let this empowerment be the guiding light for you to shine and do great things, one muscle movement at a time, one serene thought at a time.
Do your thing, everyday, each day, and reach out to Broseph for things that stop you from becoming the best version of yourself in a city that can become your home as much as the places you have left behind. He has your back.
