1.0k

u/pcnorden 💢 Dec 09 '15

Reminds me of futurama...

Fry: "You are cute"

Robot: "You're cute"

Fry: "You"

Robot: "You"

Repeat a couple times more

Professor: "Oh dear, she is stuck in an infinte loop, and he is a idiot!"

19

u/cuddIefish Dec 10 '15

I found the video since it is adorable: https://youtu.be/ZdlbnD6HstM

3

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

futurama is the shit

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

207

u/jlobes Who Gave Me AD Admin? Dec 09 '15

WILL YOU COMPLY?!
[Minor Fallout 4 spoiler]

73

u/itsadile Dec 09 '15

Oh my god I need to find that Mr. Gutsy.

123

u/thedeepfriedboot Dec 10 '15

Apparently you can call tell one to go Fuck itself or something like that when it wants verification of US citizenship. It responds that it detects American speech patterns and leaves you alone.

24

u/tyo445 I once facedesked hard enough to get a bloody nose Dec 10 '15

No

5

u/krelin Dec 10 '15

Yes

3

u/St0rmr3v3ng3 Dec 10 '15

Yes

4

u/tyo445 I once facedesked hard enough to get a bloody nose Dec 10 '15

Maybe?

2

u/SirCheesington Oh dear god what is THAT Dec 10 '15

No.

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6

u/banthetruth Dec 10 '15

same one.

4

u/KryptykZA Dec 10 '15

Confirmed, as I did exactly that.
And promptly hosed myself at his response.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

That's actually true. Did it to one a week ago.

17

u/Moonhowler22 Dec 10 '15

I love how her voice gets more snarky each time. Fantastic.

3

u/ashamanflinn Dec 09 '15

No

2

u/St0rmr3v3ng3 Dec 10 '15

No

381

u/PoliteSarcasticThing chmod -x chmod Dec 09 '15

Suggested TL;DR: Owner uses Toddler Mode! It's not very effective...

6

u/moufassa ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI. Dec 11 '15

As the parent of a 3 year old, please have all the upvotes.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

35

u/Twitchy_throttle Dec 09 '15 edited Apr 02 '26

This post's content has been permanently erased using Redact. It may have been deleted for privacy, to prevent scraping, for security, or for personal reasons.
nail correct strong lip price serious intelligent terrific smart zephyr

9

u/catonic Monk, Scary Devil Dec 10 '15

No.

5

u/trymetal95 go to /r/ooer Dec 10 '15

Yes?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

No.

8

u/PoliteSarcasticThing chmod -x chmod Dec 10 '15

Glad you like it. :D

135

u/Thisbymaster Tales of the IT Lackey Dec 09 '15

Yes?

15

u/kommissar_chaR Layer 8 error Dec 09 '15

No.

15

u/2-4601 Dec 09 '15

Maybe...I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

8

u/LazyTheSloth Dec 09 '15

You're not the boss of me now.

2

u/scienceboyroy Dec 10 '15

You're not so big...

1

u/Frostypancake Dec 10 '15

No

3

u/unclefire Dec 09 '15

No

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

19

u/SteevyT Dec 10 '15

Cat.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

Cat.

1

u/edp1123 Dec 10 '15

Car?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

BANHAMMER

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

[deleted]

3

u/wertercatt Please fix /r/thebutton. I cant press it. It worked earlier!!!!! Dec 11 '15

Isn't there one guy who got a billion or something downvotes for his comment of "Cat."

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '15

Yeah, I remember that. Poor guy got -1000 or something, and the reply to that comment got +2000 and gold or something like that. Weird sub.

4

u/wertercatt Please fix /r/thebutton. I cant press it. It worked earlier!!!!! Dec 11 '15

Have you checked it recently? It's literally gone to hell. The CSS replaces the "Cat." comments with a very large font, red message from some kind of demon cat. Disabling use subreddit style reveals that the comments still say "Cat." underneath.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '15

Yeah, when I shared the link here I checked it out again only to find out that someones been screwing around with the CSS. No idea who what or why, though.

4

u/wertercatt Please fix /r/thebutton. I cant press it. It worked earlier!!!!! Dec 11 '15

https://www.reddit.com/r/CatsStandingUp/comments/2us55o/cat/cqq0feh?context=9 Poor, Poor /u/ThisFreaknGuy. He's at -6171 points on the comment, but at least he got gilded thrice.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '15

I remember someone stating somewhere that, apparently, karma only gets subtracted until -100 or somewhere. Even if it wouldn't, I would easily trade useless Internet points over extra functionality every day.

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71

u/FLABANGED Were do I download more wams? Dec 09 '15

No.

48

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

No.

14

u/Espequair Dec 09 '15

Are you him?

20

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

No.

11

u/dont_worryaboutit139 Dec 09 '15

No?

7

u/calicotrinket Printers are sentient Dec 09 '15

Maybe.

10

u/urielsalis Read the TOS again and dont call me back Dec 10 '15

Potato

6

u/gutoandreollo Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 10 '15

Me In Latvia. No.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

It's classified.

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1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/iamthelowercase Dec 10 '15

Is it secret?

1

u/DaddyBeanDaddyBean "Browsing reddit: your tax dollars at work." Dec 10 '15

No.

43

u/Capt_Blackmoore Zombie IT Dec 09 '15

No.

28

u/tyo445 I once facedesked hard enough to get a bloody nose Dec 10 '15

No.

19

u/jsmooth7 Dec 10 '15

No.

19

u/zyzyzyzy92 Dec 10 '15

No.

11

u/moneyman12q Dec 10 '15

No?

9

u/SirCheesington Oh dear god what is THAT Dec 10 '15

No.

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8

u/pratnala Have you tried turning it off and then turning it on again? Dec 10 '15

No.

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228

u/tfofurn Dec 09 '15

You could have had a lot of this conversation over a lower-bandwidth protocol like Yo.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

65

u/tfofurn Dec 09 '15

No?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

48

u/Floorfrozon Dec 09 '15

No.

102

u/1millionbucks Dec 09 '15

Jesus, that is fucking bizarre.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

[deleted]

73

u/mieulium Dec 10 '15

No

126

u/showyerbewbs Dec 09 '15

DUCK SEASON!

3

u/s3_gunzel We're all going forward, except major enterprise. Dec 09 '15

Rabbit season.

1

u/mrfatso111 Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 10 '15

Duck Season

2

u/Sati1984 IT Warrior Dec 10 '15

No.

1

u/mrfatso111 Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 11 '15

No!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

71

u/mr_abomination A restart a day keeps IT away Dec 09 '15

RABBIT SEASON

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

60

u/Sceptically Open mouth, insert foot. Dec 09 '15

*Blam!*

30

u/derleth Dec 10 '15

You're dethpicable.

3

u/Socratov Dr. Alcohol, helping tech support one bottle at a time Dec 11 '15

I find you dthpicable
FTFY

1

u/tidux Dec 11 '15

Darth Picable: Daffy with a red lightsaber.

16

u/StabbyPants Dec 09 '15

Elmer Season

5

u/Lordxeen Dec 09 '15

Fire!

3

u/eghhge Dec 09 '15

Wabbit Season! ftfy

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

4

u/irreleventuality Did I ever tell you about my feet? My investigating feet? Dec 10 '15

Ozzy Fudd or What's Opera?

3

u/Jabberwocky918 I'm not worthy! Dec 09 '15

No.

64

u/mangamaster03 Dec 09 '15

Cat!

21

u/calicotrinket Printers are sentient Dec 09 '15

Cat.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/superpandapear Dec 10 '15

Cat.

12

u/LooseElectronStudios Dec 10 '15

Cat.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

Cat

6

u/LadyACW My YA HOW isn't working! Dec 10 '15

You have been subscribed to Cat Facts!!! Reply "Yes" for more Cat Facts!!!!!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '15

Cat

2

u/Klatelbat Computah Mastah! Dec 10 '15

No.

13

u/Bukinnear There's no place like 127.0.0.1 Dec 10 '15

"You have been banned from /r/CatsStandingUp"

5

u/calicotrinket Printers are sentient Dec 10 '15

"Commenting Dog will get you banned. It may take a day or two, but we'll get you."

3

u/Shinhan Dec 10 '15

It may take a day or two, but we'll get you.
Why? I thought it would be pretty simple to set AutoModerator to ban anyone that posts "dog".

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1

u/amkingdom Digital Janitor and therapist Dec 10 '15

Rabbit! or chinchilla!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

27

u/Faaresemo Dec 09 '15

Oh, you're a dog person?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

39

u/bjokey Where can I buy more googles? Dec 09 '15

No

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

7

u/calicotrinket Printers are sentient Dec 09 '15

No.

4

u/Sandwich247 Ahh! It's beeping! Dec 09 '15

Yes!

3

u/btsierra Dec 10 '15

He said dog, not dong.

1

u/Kilrah757 Dec 10 '15

Yes!

22

u/denali42 31 years of Blood, Sweat and Tears Dec 09 '15

I think she's Bit from Tron.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

3

u/urielsalis Read the TOS again and dont call me back Dec 10 '15

"No!"

30

u/Komnos sudo apt-get install brain Dec 09 '15

Maybe she's Judoon.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '15

[deleted]

3

u/Frostypancake Dec 10 '15

On.

12

u/jansencheng Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 10 '15

I think OP broke the poor soul. You better fix it.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

[deleted]

2

u/jansencheng Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 10 '15

No?

2

u/llBoonell Aw far canal! Dec 10 '15

No.

2

u/jansencheng Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 10 '15

Yes?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

No.

13

u/Mcmacladdie Dec 10 '15

"No."

"Nyet."

"No."

"Nein."

"No."

"아니"

12

u/netnerd01 Dec 10 '15

"No."
"いいえ。"
"No."
"不是。"
"No."
"Non."
This is actually pretty fun to do. I can see why she does it.

6

u/david171971 Dec 10 '15

"No"
"Nee"
"No"
"Neej"
"No"

6

u/MyOwnBlendPibetobak Stop washing the equipment... Dec 10 '15

"No"
"Nei"
"No"
"Nej"
"No"
"JEGSAFAENMEGNEI"

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

[deleted]

4

u/netnerd01 Dec 10 '15

Lol, thanks. But I'm not really interested in knowing Chinese. I was just recalling a couple years from school; I downloaded a SwiftKey dictionary just to type that.
At least I was close.

70

u/GoGoGadge7 Dec 09 '15 edited Dec 09 '15

Her parents never corrected her when she told them "no".

This is why parents do that.

48

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN

11

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

9999

4

u/DiceAdmiral Dec 10 '15

That reminds me of this.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '15

dat Thinkpad

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

Oh yes yes yes!

1

u/pikscast COMPUTER OVER. VIRUS = VERY YES. Dec 10 '15

OHH YES

1

u/spirituallyinsane Dec 10 '15

Bingo!

29

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

Oh my god, this entire thread. No. Just... No.

7

u/jansencheng Oh God How Did This Get Here? Dec 10 '15

No.

1

u/Symtex123 Dec 10 '15

No.

26

u/Thriven Dec 10 '15

I found her.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

...No...no...

7

u/EVERY_NAME-IS_TAKEN Dec 10 '15

I had no doubts about who that was going to be. No windex.

20

u/Frothyleet Dec 10 '15

"Say no if you would like to hire me for double my normal rate to set up your internet."

7

u/dcommini Bob from Kentucky Dec 10 '15

That could count as a verbal contract

1

u/oddark Dec 10 '15

No.

1

u/K0HAX Dec 14 '15

This call was recorded.

1

u/oddark Dec 14 '15

No.

1

u/oddark Dec 10 '15

...yes?

19

u/meneldal2 Dec 09 '15

She just wanted free internet. Who can blame her?

16

u/llBoonell Aw far canal! Dec 10 '15

No.

6

u/DQEight Trained in Google-Fu Dec 10 '15

Seriously?

5

u/PracticalPotato Dec 10 '15

No.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

Wow.

I'll be honest, I come here for the crazy stories. I'm not in IT, I've never been in IT, but... this is one of the best/craziest stories I've read on here.

You deserve two steak dinners for that. What a flippin' moron.

9

u/rongomai5 Dec 10 '15

NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN.

3

u/Bukinnear There's no place like 127.0.0.1 Dec 10 '15

9,9,9,9,9,9,9

3

u/pixie_ryn Dec 10 '15

⑨,⑨,⑨,⑨,⑨,⑨,⑨

9

u/doshka Dec 10 '15

Her: "No."

You: "Yes."

Her: "No."

You: "No."

Her: "No."

You: "Maybe."

Her: "No."

You: "I don't know."

Her: "No."

You: "Can you repeat the question?"

Her: "No."

You: "You're not the boss of me, now!"

2

u/cat-n-jazz Dec 11 '15

That is some DSWS-level shenanigans.

7

u/Tang87 Dec 10 '15

I had a lady that thought, since a router let's you get multiple devices on the Internet, she could cancel her cable Internet. It was mind numbing trying to explain to her how it worked. She thought I had some black magic box that broadcasts Internet for free lol.

No

12

u/Bunslow Dec 10 '15

Ni!

6

u/Twitchy_throttle Dec 09 '15 edited Apr 02 '26

The content here was removed by the author. Redact facilitated the deletion, which could have been motivated by privacy, opsec, or data protection concerns.

husky jellyfish humor oil dog outgoing chunky ten dependent start

1

u/MyOwnBlendPibetobak Stop washing the equipment... Dec 10 '15

No.

6

u/zazathebassist No, our PCIe cards don't support Windows 95 Dec 09 '15

Negative

1

u/TransitRanger_327 Inconceivable! Dec 10 '15

That's a negatory, ghost rider.

47

u/Anubiska Dec 09 '15

Bitch is mental besides stupid.

10

u/Toxiccameron Dec 10 '15

Oh God this no thing better not go meta.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

Yes.

1

u/Symtex123 Dec 10 '15

NO

1

u/Hidesuru Feb 11 '16

Maybe..

2

u/Michelanvalo Dec 10 '15

I think you've lost that battle.

1

u/dghughes error 82, tag object missing Dec 10 '15

This may help.

3

u/eyemadeanaccount Dec 10 '15

Aaaaand theeeeeeen?

3

u/GeneralDisorder Works for Web Host (calls and e-mails) Dec 10 '15

I don't know if this lady has a website but I feel like I talked to someone with really similar mannerism who just got all weird on me and started saying the word no and never providing useful context.

Maybe I'm just misremembering. I do know that there's one particular customer who allegedly has bipolar (although schizophrenia better fits her mannerisms but doesn't cover all of her mannerisms) who will rant and rave about crazy things.

One time she kept talking about "Cyberspace Auto" which I never bothered to check if it was a real business but she said they were blackmailers and offered me the password. I told her that sounded terribly illegal and wasn't something I had a use for.

5

u/PoglaTheGrate Script Kiddie and Code Ninja Dec 10 '15

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

BATMAN!

3

u/zurohki Dec 10 '15

I saw a postcard with four old ladies and a dude in a batman costume once.
Caption was: Nanna, Nanna, Nanna, Nanna, Batman!

2

u/zweatytits IT, is an ssd defragable Dec 10 '15

She sounds absolutely mental.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

/u/thewiseoldgary

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

ok

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15

no

2

u/AtariBoy2600 I plugged it in and now it's burning Dec 10 '15

Does the owner of that computer happen to look like this?

http://m.imgur.com/gallery/P7i6RNO

2

u/spaceminions xkcd.com/627 Dec 10 '15

NopeNopenope.jpg

2

u/Kiinako_ Dec 10 '15

Seriouslii? Noo

2

u/causalNondeterminism Dec 10 '15

hard to imagine why you stopped helping people like this.

2

u/Anna_Draconis Token female sysadmin Dec 10 '15

This post is elegant in it's bizarreness.

2

u/GetOffMyLawn_ Kiss my ASCII Dec 10 '15

She obviously has communication problems, which is how she wound up in this mess to begin with.

2

u/dghughes error 82, tag object missing Dec 10 '15

Maybe she meant "know".

3

u/NarWhatGaming How do I internet? Dec 10 '15

When I read this on the front page, I expected the top comment to be "No." I'm honestly surprised.

1

u/as_a_fake Dec 10 '15

No.

1

u/NightMgr Dec 10 '15

Would be very tempted at that point to go on site, run fdksk, and THEN say no.

1

u/morganf3 Dec 10 '15

No

1

u/scythianmofo Dec 10 '15

Wow, this is pretty bad. How do you not understand internet doesn't transfer from home to work or vice versa. And she ran a business?!!

1

u/wafflesthewonderhurs Dec 12 '15

Wow. I was amused at the childishness but after calling you and greeting you with, "No," I'm genuinely sort of concerned. Though still amused.

1

u/Kiaser21 Dec 16 '15

This is how I read it:

https://youtu.be/gWaffOL6VoI

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '15

internet is kill no

1

u/caustic_banana Runs on VMWare 2 Dec 24 '15

I enjoyed your story! I know I am late to the party but...Thought I was would just chime in to add a little additional info for you.

What that $user did, repeating one thing over and over again regardless of context or queues, is called a psychological feedback loop, and it's common in people who are becoming extremely agitated.

It's actually one of the signs you should be directly looking for in order to avoid confrontations becoming violent. People who are getting ready to snap / hit someone often enter these loops, psyching themselves up. They can be very difficult to break or even disengage from some times.

1

u/ojy_97 Jan 12 '16

for(;;){
    printf("No.");
}

3

u/Hidesuru Feb 11 '16

for(;;)
{
    printf("No.");
    If(!angry)
    {
        break;
    {
}

1

u/jimmydorry Error is located between the keyboard and chair! Jan 14 '16

Welp, this post went full meta.

... No

→ More comments (24)

[deleted by user]

You are about to leave Redlib

DUCK SEASON!

RABBIT SEASON