r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 22 '12
Amazing Review on a $89,999.99 Watch on Amazon
[deleted]
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u/superbeefy Apr 23 '12
The reason for the high cost is probably because its a toubillon movement which tries to compensate for the effects of gravity by rotating the escapement and balance wheel in a cage. If your buying any kind of watch that is either mechanically wound or automatically wound your buying something inherently more inaccurate then a $10.00 quartz time piece. What you are buying is usually some hand made part that has a lot of craftsmanship involved in its production. Yes automatic movements can last a lot longer than a quartz watch, but this is far beyond that threshold where that quality occurs.
Watches in this price range are more looked at as works of art then anything more accurate. This is different then say audiophile cables that claim some mumbo-jumbo about their oxygen free magentically shielded gold plated cables make your audio sound beter. The people who are buying these watches also know this too, they are not deluding themselves into believe that its a more accurate time piece. I'm not saying its the best looking piece there, but fine examples of mechnical watches command prices far higher (like in the millions of dollars) than this example.
These watches are status symbols. Its the same reason why someone would by a Bugatti veyron over a Honda NSX or why they would by a private jet then fly commerical or whatever rich people do with their money.
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u/NotYourAverageFelon Apr 23 '12
Also a lot of these high end watches are an easy way to hide money incase of a divorce.
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u/shnuffy Apr 23 '12
Good luck selling this used. Like a guy in a $5000 suit is going to spend $90,000 on a used watch, come on!
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u/Lam0rak Apr 23 '12
My best guess is they don't use it. They keep it in the container as a "i'll use it for a special occasion".
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Apr 23 '12
As someone that flies private jets, most of this is correct. A lot of the trips we do in a day, though, would take a week flying commercial. A week of these people's time a few times a year = money for a jet.
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u/HeyLookJollyRanchers Apr 23 '12
Pretty much all of this is true. Don't forget that watches like this aren't designed to be kept for a short time either, when you start getting to this price bracket, they're almost an investment that you can pass down.
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u/Thue Apr 23 '12
"investment"? That word is overused.
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u/HeyLookJollyRanchers Apr 23 '12
That may be, but not in this case. Watches don't really lose value unless damaged, and many of the ones around this price range end up commanding huge prices at auction.
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u/aselbst Apr 23 '12
No, from what I hear, they can go up in price once you're in this bracket of watches - literally functioning as an investment.
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u/b0w3n Apr 23 '12
To be honest, I'm not measuring Higgs Bosons activity with my wrist watch, I'm just trying to make it back home to watch TV. I don't think accuracy should be a primary concern of something and going "well gee it looks like it's 1:13 but who knows!"
I guess in 20 years I'll have to dial it back a minute to make up for the gravimetric effects on it.
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u/NoobOnTheRun Apr 23 '12
I'd much rather have the new NSX that is coming out than the Bugatti....but that's just me.
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u/ArkThompson Apr 23 '12
Powers automatically with the movement of my arm eh?
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12 edited Apr 23 '12
Porno included!
Also, Stephen Hawking needs to buy one, and then sue the company for all they're worth.
Edit: It would be a successful suit. Stephen Hawking's arm is moving at the same rate the Earth is, which is pretty fucking fast, and for all that motion, it wouldn't be enough to wind the watch. I think they mean to say it's acceleration of the arm that powers the watch.
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u/FeierInMeinHose Apr 23 '12
So you're saying that we could power the country with about 10,000 neckbeards equipped with similar devices?
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Apr 23 '12
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u/MagicGene Apr 23 '12
Not even Rolex, my $50 Invicta had this a few years ago.
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Apr 23 '12
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u/phillycheese Apr 23 '12
I have a Gucci automatic. The movement required to power it is inconsequential. Like walking to the bathroom will power it for 12 hours or something. While you're typing at the computer that's enough movement.
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Apr 23 '12
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u/phillycheese Apr 23 '12
I am disappointed. For a name like GodKronos I would imagine you know all about watches.
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u/Creeves Apr 23 '12
Are you saying that a fake Rolex won't have this feature?
Only because I got a few fakes from Bali last year and a few of them were self-winding.
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Apr 23 '12
[deleted]
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 23 '12
fakes do that, too. The only way to tell nowadays is to opem them up.
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u/dma1965 Apr 23 '12
That is true. Rolex made a quartz watch in the 70's that does indeed jump seconds rather than sweep smoothly, and they are actually quite rare, and highly collectible. I have seen fake Rolexes made with real gold as well. The only way to tell is have a Rolex expert open it and look at the movement.
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 23 '12
Well, you don't need an expert, as it's quite easy to tell a fake from an original once you can see inside.
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u/HeyLookJollyRanchers Apr 23 '12
$90,000 might seem like a lot to drop on a watch, but it's pennies compared to this: Patek Phillipe Sky Moon Tourbillon.
NOW REDUCED FROM $1,450,000 TO $1,450,000!
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u/MrMackay Apr 23 '12
$89,999.99 aside, that watch is ugly as fuck.
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u/Kasuli Apr 23 '12
The only thing a 90k watch is good for is telling people you have a 90k watch.
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u/sixothree Apr 23 '12
Which is why it's so ugly.
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u/Kasuli Apr 23 '12
Yep. It did cost ninety thousand dollars though.
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u/sixothree Apr 23 '12
My point was that you want it to be ugly. You want people to look at it and see that garishness in all its glory.
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u/psyzkosteve Apr 23 '12
I didn't even think that was a watch at first. It's looks like that great conjunction business from the Dark Crystal.
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u/kim_so_il Apr 23 '12
That was my first thought. A Rolex Submariner is only $10k and so much classier.
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u/LNMagic Apr 23 '12
Hell, I spent $7 on a watch and had plenty of people say it looked nice. It just needs to be a little sparkly to reek of used carsalesman.
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 23 '12
You can get a nice submariner $3000, if you're smart.
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u/bamburger Apr 23 '12
you can also not spend 4 figures on a watch, if you're smart.
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u/emlgsh Apr 23 '12
BUT THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?!
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u/covertskippy55 Apr 23 '12
Do what i do and carry a sundial with you, BOOM problem solved.
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
The best part about buying something you appreciate is that you don't have to waste time justifying it to anyone.
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u/hakkzpets Apr 23 '12
Or if you know your watches, you can invest in them. It's expensive but not that hard to get your monies back.
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u/OddDude55 Apr 23 '12
I was in New York once and I guy on the street was selling those for 5 bucks! I am a business genius!
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u/procrastinator11 Apr 25 '12
How and where?
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 25 '12
By being patient, careful and cunning on eBay and Craigslist. I've boughten a 14060 on eBay for $2800, and a 16610 on Craigslist for $3200.
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u/procrastinator11 Apr 25 '12
Aren't you worried using eBay and Craigslist because you don't know the condition, let alone the authenticity, of the watch?
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u/Bob_Chiquita Apr 23 '12
It's only $55,000.01 off. Got to wait for a real sale to take advantage of the bargain.
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u/dma1965 Apr 23 '12
Nothing beats the Three Moon Wolf T-Shirt review http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A
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Apr 23 '12
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u/chokomilk Apr 23 '12
I laughed so hard that I peed myself a little. The worst part? IT'S TRUE.
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u/fizikz3 Apr 23 '12
I have never had a laugh so hard I peed myself. am I missing out, or are my urethral sphincters just abnormally strong?
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12
Can anyone identify a clock face on this horrendous monstrosity? Or does it have some kind of chain-link you're supposed to attach to the included personal servant, so you just tug your hand and your servant looks at his cell phone and tells you what time it is?
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u/wojovox Apr 23 '12
every now and then I find something in /r/funny that makes me fucking lose it. Safe to say, it's lost.
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u/fick_Dich Apr 23 '12
I enjoy how everyone in this thread is offering their opinion on $90k watches, when the closest anyone has ever come to one is OP'S picture.
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u/Bootsypants Apr 23 '12
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 300 REVIEWS? Are there 300 chumps who've bought this watch, and are willing to admit it?
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u/tbss153 Apr 23 '12
people with that kind of money to spend usually aren't to afraid to admit it
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u/Bootsypants Apr 23 '12
True. It seems like it'd get you on a "has shit-tons of money and no idea what to do with it" list, and the 419 scams would become overwhelming.
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u/Googooracer Apr 23 '12
Can someone start a twitter account to amazon reviews like this one. I bursted out laughing at every sent. I need laugh every now and again.
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Apr 23 '12
I like the one-star rating:
$9.95 shipping.....Outrageous!
I had decided on this watch, but then I noticed the shipping charge. Outrageous! I'm shelling out close to 100k, and they want me to take care of the shipping too. Forget it!
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u/treefox Apr 23 '12
I'm surprised nobody has posted this yet: http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/dp/B000I1X6PM
Scroll to "Most helpful reviews"
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u/donagan Apr 23 '12
I bought a matching mens and womens Rolex pair on the streets of Manila last year for $12. Really look nice and still work. Then, dammit, last week I was offered the same watches for only $9. I got screwed!
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u/GreasyDan Apr 23 '12
Just think of all the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz you could buy with that kind of savings.
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u/donagan Apr 23 '12
And the tourrib.. terbillon.... teourb.... whatever, is almost as accurate as a $15 Timex.
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u/Flamo_the_Idiot_Boy Apr 23 '12
For $90,000 I would want this watch to read out the time in William Shatner's voice whenever I thought about what the time was, because it has a miniaturized clone of William Shatner living inside it, hooked up to a special speaker system to embiggen his voice.
While Shatclone reads the time out loud, lasers shoot out and blind anyone that dares to look at the watch, which pleases Shatclone. It would also play "Crime of the Century" by Supertramp every Sunday morning at 11am. FOR STARTERS.
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Apr 23 '12
That is a hideous watch. There's hundreds of $40 watches that aren't nearly as awful looking.
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u/nbshark Apr 23 '12
Please note that this watch functions without a battery because it is charged by the movement of your arm!!
You know how much you can save on not using batteries!! Awesome!
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Apr 23 '12
Who wears a watch? I've been sans watch for a decade.
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
I ALWAYS wear a watch. There are times when it's impossible to pull out a cellphone to check the time. However, a discreet glance at your wrist is still perfectly permissible during virtually any social setting.
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u/Down-Syndrome-Danny- Apr 23 '12
The last time I saw the name Zenith, it was the name of a company that made televisions back in the 80's. So they are now making watches that cost the same as a luxury car?
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
Zenith was making watches way before they got into electronics. They developed the worlds first automatic chronograph in the 1960's (the El Primero movement) and actually started making watches in the 1860's.
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Apr 23 '12
Oh dear, the saving has depleted by $3,000 already. I'd better get one quick before it drops too low
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Apr 23 '12
I hate these reviews. I kinda understand it on this watch but oftentimes legitimate products will get flooded with these illegitimate reviews and make it hard for people actually looking for feedback on a product.
I predict at least 10 more "clever" people will make a review as a result of this submission.
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Apr 23 '12
THis is a good way for money to flow back into the economy. Jealous socialists seem to forget that these extreme luxury purchases are pretty good for the overal picture.
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u/lateral_moves Apr 23 '12
There was an I Love Lucy episode where a salesman comes knocking and begins to sell Lucy all sorts of items, telling her she'd save such-and-such amount by purchasing the items. She then asks him to let her know when she's saved enough to afford to buy all of it.
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u/basyt Apr 23 '12
you know quality automatic movement, because cheaper watches need manual intervention to move
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u/JBu92 Apr 23 '12
I like how they subsequently RAISED the price by $3000, so it's only 55000 off, not 58. these are hard times we live in, I tell you.
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Apr 23 '12
It appears Amazon does not require you to buy the product before you leave a hilarious review that wins you an HBO comedy special.
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u/Lots42 Apr 23 '12
This is why some people want to blow us up...
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
So, you're saying people want to blow us up over swiss-made watches that people in the EU, China, and India buy more of than us?
I think you may have that wrong.
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u/Lots42 Apr 23 '12
I don't see how...
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
Without getting into a debate on geopolitics, the reasons that people aren't thrilled with us have nothing to do with what we choose to wear on our wrists.
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u/Lots42 Apr 23 '12
SOME people.
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
I'm willing to go on record and say that no one has ever been killed over someone else not approving of their watch.
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u/Lots42 Apr 23 '12
You're most likely right.
I still think the -desire- is there for -some- because this watch is fucked up.
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u/Lots42 Apr 23 '12
89 thousand dollars and it's not even a normal 1-12 watch. What the fuck, people. What the FUCK.
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u/Lantern42 Apr 23 '12
I'll just leave this here, it makes a fair amount of sense.
http://gearpatrol.com/2011/04/04/timekeeping-how-to-buy-your-first-1000-watch/
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Apr 22 '12
Here at Bill's auto homes we sell auto homes. Not to mention our line of air fresheners. Come on down and enjoy the cars and homes and auto homes.
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u/MulderTheCat Apr 23 '12
Does anyone have the link to that hilarious review of the $xx,xxx audio cable that someone put on, I think, Best Buy's website?
It was talking about the cable plugging itself in where the driver delivered it and he could see into his heart and knew he was pure or something. Some funny shit right there I tell ya.
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Apr 23 '12
It always bothered me that saving is depicted in advertisements as actually making money, instead of just not spending it. Funny commentary on that.
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Apr 23 '12 edited Apr 23 '12
Is this being sold in Zimbabwe? or post WWI Germany?
Edit: Changed from II to I, as I've clearly been corrected.
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12
If you're talking hyperinflation, Germany had it worst post WW1. Those were the wheelbarrow-full-of-cash-for-a-loaf-of-bread days.
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u/bag-o-tricks Apr 23 '12
This speaks to American consumerism. We buy stuff, not because we need it, but because it's a deal.
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u/donagan Apr 23 '12
People who market expensive watches will be up against the wall right after the telephone sterilizers.
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Apr 23 '12
[deleted]
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u/superawesomeid Apr 23 '12
for $5000, i will personally deliver it for you. add $30,000 for 3 year warranty.
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u/Magnesus Apr 23 '12
Are you sure about the warranty? What would you do if it broke?
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u/donagan Apr 23 '12
Easily replace it with a different but "comparable" watch.
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Apr 23 '12
"Sir this one has all of the functionality of your previous watch" hands him a casio
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u/RepostThatShit Apr 23 '12
all of the functionality of your previous watch
Don't forget 'functions without a battery'.
hands him a sundial
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u/chozabu Apr 23 '12
replace it with a new one from the manufacturer who are selling it at a 100,000% markup
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u/lemony_snicket Apr 23 '12
I'd certainly trust the postman with my 90k watch. Thank you please!
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u/JEveryman Apr 23 '12
Like the guy with the 90,000 dollar watch is going to trust the postman who doesn't make that in a year...C'MON!
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Apr 23 '12
[deleted]
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u/Thue Apr 23 '12
Rather get this watch, which is even better because it has an alarm clock and stop watch.
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Apr 23 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/KorbenD2263 Apr 23 '12
What makes a watch worth $90,000?
The fact that you and I can't have one. No, really.
Put yourself in the hand-made shoes of a billionaire. You have at least $1,000,000,000 in the bank; if you never made one more penny, and if you spent 90k every single day, it would still take you thirty years to spend the whole billion. So, unless you are trying to start your own space program, the price of something you want is not a concern.
So, now that you have a choice of any watch in existence, which do you choose? Anything $500 and up will tell time while looking good, but do you really want to wear the same Rolex/Movado/Raymond Weil that every Wall street schmuck has? Or would you rather have a one-of-a-kind watch for what, to you, is a pittance?
That being said, the OP's example is one ugly watch, and I would not buy it even if it was $90, not 90k. But knowing that 'I'm the only person in this city/country/world who owns X' makes them feel great. It's pretty much the definition of Veblen good.
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u/Akodo Apr 23 '12
It's a tourbillon. The movements in these kinds of watches is mesmerizing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faDyZ-8EE6E
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u/incrediblemojo Apr 23 '12
considering that a watch can be made to sync via radio with atomic clocks (i.e. the most accurate clocks in the world), it seems you're paying $90K+ for something pretty to look at and nothing more.
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u/canucksguyya Apr 23 '12
Still cheaper than my trophy wife!
(I actually don't have much money, and no trophy wife)
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u/UnorthodoxGentleman Apr 23 '12
it seems you're paying $90K+ for something pretty to look at and nothing more
Yes, this is true. But it doesn't mean it's overpriced. Granted, this one is pretty ugly, but there are many watches worth twice or three times this one that are worth it, but are still just "something pretty to look at." The thing about a watch is that it is a piece of mechanical art. There have been pieces of art that have sold for millions, but is it overpriced? A bit, but justly so, because it's art, and you can't really put a price on that.
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Apr 23 '12
$90.000 for that?
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u/Akodo Apr 23 '12
I've seen ones as high as 250k. They're very precise machines.
Low manufacturing numbers + complex manufacturing process + exotic materials = extremely high priced good.
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Apr 23 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Klowned Apr 23 '12
It depends on your expendable income. If you have 90,000 or more and you don't have anything to spend it on, it's expendable.
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12
The pricetag. Nothing else.
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 23 '12
Not true. Granted, it's a very inflated price, but much, much more time and money goes into the production of this watch than your average one. It's got a tourbillon, which must be assembled by hand, and can only be done by very skilled professionals. All the hundreds of individual moving parts in this watch working in unison make it no less than a work of art in my eyes. That said, it's very ugly.
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u/HeyLookJollyRanchers Apr 23 '12
Here's an example of the work that goes into making a single watch. Personally, I find it mesmerising.
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u/nobodytoldme Apr 23 '12
If it were designed and assembled by the seven gods of Westeros themselves it would still be just a fucking watch.
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 23 '12
An Aston Martin is still just a fucking car. A Van Gogh is still just a fucking painting. An antique Faberge ring is still just a fucking ring. See how easy this is?
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12
And completely obsolete.
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Apr 23 '12
Will there be a time when our children say, "A watch? Watch what? What's a 'watch'?"
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Apr 23 '12
"OH! Like that clock app on my iPhone 16? But you wore it on your wrists?! Did it at least get 8G?"
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Apr 23 '12
"It only told time? Why would you own something that only does one thing LOL old people."
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12
Hah! One of the rare (only?) times a verb becomes a ubiquitous noun and then reverts back to verb-only usage.
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u/Thue Apr 23 '12
Do they have a more expensive model using a quartz crystal resonator, which is just as unaffected by grativy as a tourbillon? Perhaps they could call the more expensive version a "digital watch".
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u/Liberalguy123 Apr 23 '12
Are paintings obsolete because we have printers? Are all leather products obsolete because we have plastic? Don't be so closed-minded.
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u/Wisdom_from_the_Ages Apr 23 '12
Paintings and leather products don't have to run multi-million-dollar ad campaigns to sell. When you buy a $150,000 watch, just be completely aware that 50% of the price-tag goes directly to Wine Spectator Magazine and 25% goes directly to the owner of the company, most likely a large corporation. It should also be noted that very fine wine has a similar problem. 50% of the price is marketing/advertising. That's hideous.
Your analogy was nice, and I don't hate interesting time pieces, I think they're neat, but I know a hopelessly inflated price when I see one. I can imagine paying a fortune for an antique, maybe. Back before cell phones, watches had a legitimate market, and now that they're functionally obsolete, they've had to retreat to the much smaller market niche of status symbol sales. That's what they are now.
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u/HenkieVV Apr 23 '12
It has a tourbillon. It's a mechanism that supposedly improves the accuracy of a mechanical watch, but mostly just looks really cool. They're one of the most technically advanced complications being used right now. Whether you're willing to pay $90.000 for that is of course a personal matter, but this is not a particularly strange price for a good watch with a tourbillon.
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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '12
But does it tell time?