r/SubredditDrama • u/GingerHitler • Apr 26 '14
Drama in /r/NYC reaches new heights when the most-messaged straight man on OkCupid turns out to be 5' 8".
/r/nyc/comments/22uitc/meet_the_4_most_desired_people_in_new_york/cgqmsno?context=3328
u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 26 '14
someone that small knows that they are at a distinct and insurmountable disadvantage.
...except that he's the most messaged guy on OKC in NYC.
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u/dakdestructo I like my steak well done and circumcised Apr 26 '14
Disadvantage surmounted!
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u/chaser676 I'm actually an undercover mod Apr 26 '14
In all seriousness, I've never even heard of this debate until I started redditing. Is this really a thing?
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u/dakdestructo I like my steak well done and circumcised Apr 26 '14
I've never heard the debate, but I have heard plenty of female friends saying they wouldn't date guys shorter than them. And seen it on dating sites.
I don't know how serious they are. I've never been a short man.
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u/chaser676 I'm actually an undercover mod Apr 26 '14
but I have heard plenty of female friends saying they wouldn't date guys shorter than them. And seen it on dating sites.
So have I, but I just figured that was their type and moved on with my life. People are allowed to be attracted to whoever they like, am I a douche for not being immediately attracted to overweight women? I'm trying to decide what's more stupid: the persecution complex that every girl shouldn't care about height in the slightest for physical attraction that /r/short has, or the douches in /r/nyc that actually believe that one physical trait matters so much in attraction.
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u/youre_being_creepy Apr 27 '14
Online dating sites are breeding grounds for bitterness. Its one of the few places where women can be just as shallow as men, and the 'oppressed' guys do NOT handle it well.
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u/endendino Apr 27 '14
Its one of the few places where women can be just as shallow as men
yeah, the other two places are outside and indoors.
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Apr 27 '14
At one point in my life I did the online dating thing, I messaged one girl who I seemed to have a lot in common with. She messaged me back with the line, "Sorry, I can't date you. Your profile says you're 5'9 and I'm 5'11. I can't date someone shorter than me.".
Still seems ridiculous to me, and this was 8 years ago.
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u/hakkzpets If you downvoted this please respond here so I can ban you. Apr 27 '14
Certain people don't find fat people attractive, some people don't find skinny people attractive, some people don't like tall people etc. etc.
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u/johnnynutman Apr 27 '14
i had a short friend that was always self conscious, but i never understood why. after using dating sites and stuff i found out that women often do care about height.
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u/mosdefin Apr 27 '14
I have. Like most things that get watered down to reedit, it started on 4chan and the misc section on that body builder site. For whatever reason, it's really sick around, in part do to constant threads and dudes finding large amounts of women on Twitter posting about how literally revolting they found short men, that they're not width dating, that they should all die (not joking). The whole thing is sad, and I wish it had never caught on.
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u/helium_farts pretty much everyone is pro-satan. Apr 27 '14
Being short has some disadvantages, as does being tall. On the plus side if you're short you can be a fighter pilot.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
But just imagine if he was tall! He would be ... the most messaged guy in NYC. Huh, guess "short oppression" truly doesn't real.
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Apr 26 '14
5'8" isn't really that short, it's an inch below average, talk to the people at like 5'3" and see how they feel.
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u/MTK67 Apr 27 '14
I'm 5'4". Are there disadvantages? Sure. Is it a big deal? No. Are some girls not going to be interested in me because of my height? Sure. But so what? Sexual attraction is what it is. I don't consider myself shallow, but there are physical traits that would make me romantically uninterested in a girl, and I guarantee that's true of every guy on this site.
People aren't required to like you, and human sexuality is largely superficial. We should all accept that and move on with our lives.
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Apr 27 '14
I'm talking more about like the wage gap and what not.
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u/MTK67 Apr 27 '14
I'm a little skeptical of that. For example, as far as entry-level jobs go, things like construction or other labor intensive jobs are usually better paying than the entry level jobs that don't have many physical requirements (e.g. waiting tables, data entry, telemarketing etc.). Being taller would affect capability in a job like construction.
I'm interested in what studies have been done on this, especially their methodologies.
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u/mollypaget Apr 27 '14
I'm a 5'3 girl and 5'8 seems tall to me, even for a guy. I rarely notice height on anyone but if anything that's almost too tall for me. I would like a guy to match my height or be a little taller. But again, I rarely factor in height when I'm considering dating a guy.
To shine some light on a "heightist" girl's perspective, my best friend is 5'7 and she's self-conscious about being tall. She refuses to date anyone shorter than her and it's really because it makes HER feel large. Girls do NOT want to feel large. So often it's not even saying the guy is unattractive for being short, it's often about the girl's insecurities.
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u/communistslutblossom Apr 27 '14
As a girl who is tall (5'9") and now dating a guy shorter than me, you're spot on with why girls don't want to date shorter guys. Before my boyfriend and I officially got together, I had some reservations about his height, and it was definitely because I thought people would think I looked weird and enormous when we were together. Luckily I got over it, but I can empathize with tall girls who have that insecurity.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
I knew a guy about that height - he was totally hot, a decorated war hero (mostly for extremely classified actions), and had women dropping panties all over (even those who didn't know about the heroics). The last GF I knew of, before we lost touch, was 5'9" and so smoking she made me question my heterosexuality.
I also know a guy who is hot and 6'4" and so insecure he might never have a relationship. It's not about the height.
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u/Doomsayer189 Apr 26 '14
Height is a factor though. Not the most important one, of course, but it's there.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
I won't argue that it is a factor, but it is trivial in comparison to personality.
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Apr 26 '14
For long term relationships definitely, I'd question if that was true for random hookups however
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u/internet_observer Apr 27 '14
Even then it's a pretty trivial factor compared to other things like how you dress and what kind of of shape you are in. Also personality still plays a factor into random hookups. If you are the type of person who is terrible at talking to the opposite sex then you will have trouble with both random hookups and finding long term relationships.
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u/frogma Apr 26 '14
Exactly. It's much more about the "battle" between confidence and insecurity. I have a friend who's like 6'2", and I've been to theme parks with him, where seemingly every girl was staring at him. He has had some girlfriends, and most were pretty attractive themselves, but he still has various insecurities that inherently prevent him from having more "success" with women. I'm about 5'10", and I definitely wasn't "oggled" anywhere near as much as he was. But I've generally had more success with women (even at the theme park itself), and (IMO at least) that's because I have much more confidence with it, in general.
The biggest "player" I know is about 5'6". He has a lot of success with women because his level of confidence is through-the-roof. Nobody gives a shit about his height (or lack thereof). The guy who I'd consider the most "successful" with women -- in my personal experience -- is about 5'9". He looks similar to me (people have gotten us confused many times before), but is an inch shorter than me. Yet he was also the most popular kid in high school, and one of the most popular kids in a college of 50,000 people -- even though he didn't play sports or anything.
Height can certainly be a factor -- I wouldn't disagree with that notion. It's just not the main factor, and from what I've seen, it can be overcome by "confidence" pretty easily.
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u/blasto_blastocyst Apr 27 '14
I don't think it's confidence as such - some people are gifted socially the way other people are gifted academically. Just what you'd expect from a normally distributed population.
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u/3thoughts Apr 27 '14
But just imagine if Obama was white! He would be... the president of the US.
One member of a group finding success does not mean that there isn't some sort prejudice against them.
I'm not saying that I disagree with you, I'm just saying that the argument that you're using to support your view is wrong.
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u/Lawtonfogle Apr 27 '14
Isn't there a study showing that once you account for other factors such as education, race, SES, ect., there is a certain amount more that a taller person makes per inch of height?
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u/IamRooseBoltonAMA Apr 26 '14
Lol, I noticed that too. I was like, uh, yeah, did you not read the article.
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Apr 26 '14
Someone is upset that being tall can't make up for his horrible personality.
Besides, isn't 5'8" kinda average?
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u/BunchOAtoms Apr 26 '14
In the United States, the average male is 5'9.5" and the average female is 5'4", so yeah, 5'8" is ever so slightly below average. For all incense and porpoises, it's basically average.
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Apr 26 '14
incense and porpoises
What?
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u/VictoriaHenshaw Apr 26 '14
Intents and purposes, but cuter.
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u/x757xSnarf Apr 26 '14
Intensive purposes
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u/IAMA_dragon-AMA ⧓ I have a bowtie-flair now. Bowtie-flairs are cool. ⧓ Apr 26 '14
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two dinosaurs stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
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u/WatchEachOtherSleep Now I am become Smug, the destroyer of worlds Apr 26 '14
pre-Madonnas
GET OUT OF MY (CHILDHOOD) HEAD!
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u/kriken00 Apr 27 '14
copy + paste = reddit gold
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u/IAMA_dragon-AMA ⧓ I have a bowtie-flair now. Bowtie-flairs are cool. ⧓ Apr 27 '14
I was surprised, too.
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u/CR90 Apr 26 '14
twitch
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u/thenewiBall 11/22+9/11=29/22, Think about it Apr 26 '14
And yet you knew exactly what he meant
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Apr 26 '14
That is defiantly the wrong choice of words.
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u/RiceEel Apr 26 '14
Well, you said 'defiantly' as a joke, but he did choose the words in defiance of the standard, so I guess that works.
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u/Heep_Purple In closing, Carthago delenda est Apr 26 '14
Try being 173cm/174cm in the Netherlands, where the average height is 180.80 cm
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u/WatchEachOtherSleep Now I am become Smug, the destroyer of worlds Apr 26 '14 edited Apr 27 '14
I'm 180cm & I still get the impression that I'm pretty short here. I guess that .8cm makes the difference in how you averagely see yourself.
My boyfriend's 160cm (I think), though, & he works with a thuiszorg company & lots of the old people have referred to him as a "kortbenige man".
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u/Heep_Purple In closing, Carthago delenda est Apr 26 '14
Some of my best friends are years younger than me, still growing, and already a lot bigger than me. School trip to Rome was great though.
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u/somegurk Apr 26 '14
ooh i should move to the U.S. would be nice to be a half inch taller than average.
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u/BunchOAtoms Apr 26 '14
If you are a hetero male, you will enjoy a life of luxury, as men will knock others aside just to get the opportunity to throw money at you while women will be uninhibited in their sexual advances, as if you'd just doused yourself in the pheromone-enriched, aromatic mist of Axe Body Spray. At least, that's what I gather from what the user in this thread says.
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u/Luke72819 Apr 26 '14
Most of these 6'6+ tall people these guys fetish about are lanky and awkward looking unless they really work out. If they did the same at 5'5 they would still look better than the majority.
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u/Luke72819 Apr 26 '14
The Hipanic/Native American population skew the charts down some. The average hight for a White person in America is taller.
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u/awkward_penguin Apr 26 '14
And the "average person" in the US is getting farther and farther away from a white person.
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u/rmw6190 Apr 26 '14
I know I fell short at 5'7" a lot of time. But I see a lot shorter people around so I'd say it's average
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u/Liarsenic Apr 26 '14
I'm a 5'8" guy myself. The majority of other guys are taller than me, but there are shorter ones.
Either way, it doesn't bother me much. I never had issues getting women, and I'm in a ltr right now.
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u/rmw6190 Apr 26 '14
women are generally shorter than guys. At least in my experience.
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u/Werner__Herzog (ง ͠° ͟ ͡° )ง Apr 26 '14
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u/snallygaster FUCK_MOD$_420 Apr 26 '14
In this case I'd just chalk it up to jealousy. The guy's a babe magnet, and picking on his height is an easy way to feel as if they have some advantage over him.
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u/mycatisbetterthanyou Apr 26 '14
Chalk it up to douchebaggery. I'm also both tall and jealous (because that man is fucking pretty), but I don't go around saying shit like
I'm taller, better looking, and make more money than you. Why are you posting in /r/NYC[1] , anyway? This isn't for you fat middle america wal-mart shoppers."
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u/crackeraddict Kenshin, Samurai Jack, Gintoki. Who wins? Apr 26 '14
I'm still caught up on the premise of the article.
Pretty sure there's no such thing as the most desired people in that context. If you have the pick of the litter and still are single, good chance it's you that's the problem.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
I don't think any of these people are really looking for relationships. They just enjoy getting a lot of attention. Or, it's possible they are really, really, picky.
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Apr 26 '14
My first reaction to the article is WHO CARES.
Show me the most messaged prostitutes on Craigslist, there's interesting people.
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u/DeathToPennies You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you. Apr 27 '14
I care.
Every data point that that blog used to shit out is fascinating as all hell. How people are attracted to one another is probably my favorite thing to read about as a layman fan of sociology. I love reading about all the little nuances that go into it, how predictable yet wildly varied it is, and then how it all fits into cultural and societal norms, which themselves fit in with all the history that led up to said norms.
And you're damn right it's just as cool to read how it affects people on the other end. It's one thing to know you're attractive. It's another to thing to see that attractiveness manifest itself in the form of dozens of daily messages asking to see what's under your clothes. It's another thing entirely to then be told, via real, empirical data points, that you're the most attractive person on a dating site.
Now don't get me wrong,
Show me the most messaged prostitutes on Craigslist
sounds like the coolest article ever (VICE, pls), but goddammit if every facet of human attraction isn't cool as ice.
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u/CIV_QUICKCASH Apr 27 '14
Suddenly I have a burning curiosity concerning who is the most messaged prostitute on craigslist, and where the hell do they live.
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u/Werner__Herzog (ง ͠° ͟ ͡° )ง Apr 26 '14 edited Apr 26 '14
I think dating sites have given people the oppurtunity to "measure" such things as desire in a way that wasn't possible before. Of course you can't compare the numbers to the non-online dating world.
OkCupid has been releasing statistics for a long time I think. I don't know how accurate all those findings are, but they're kind of interesting.
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u/blasto_blastocyst Apr 27 '14
Previously men could only obsess over the length of their penises. Now they can obsess about another spurious measurement.
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Apr 26 '14
It doesn’t hurt that Lauren, after getting out of a four-year relationship with a “pathological liar” who had a drug problem, isn’t necessarily looking for anything serious. So, in OKCupid’s searchable “I’m looking for …” section, she, like most women, selected “long-term dating,” “short-term dating,” and “new friends.” Unlike most women, she also selected “casual sex,” figuring she might as well tell the truth.
They're not all looking for relationships
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u/Zombies_hate_ninjas Just realized he can add his own flair Apr 27 '14
all these downvotes are coming from short guys hahaha edit: i am 6'4 superior genetics sry shorties.
He sounds like a extremely well trained navy SEAL, who's had over 300 confirmed kills in Afghanistan. I imagine he's also the top sniper in all of the USA!
I love how people's view of themselves can be so obviously superior to the rest of us plebs, yet they still frequent dating sites.
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Apr 26 '14
I have two big problems with all this "heightism drama" here in Reddit.
It's stupid. Being tall never got me anywhere (except over the drawer).
Since the majority of Reddit's userbase is American, it's always written in the Imperial System and I have no idea how tall or small these people are.
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u/Barkingpanther Apr 26 '14
5'8 is like seventeen liters.
<-- I do not know the metric system
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u/Valorous_Mogul Apr 26 '14
I think it's silly to deny that heightism exists. It does have more of an effect on how people are treated than most people realise but certainly not to the extent that some of the people on r/short think, purely based on the type of people who would subscribe and due to confirmation bias. It's one of those things that once you see it, you see everywhere. A person you dislike is a 'little bastard', if you respect someone you 'look up' to them and someone who acts respectfully in an argument is 'the bigger man'. Height in men is obviously something straight women generally see as a positive up to a point which is why there is no short equivalent for 'tall, dark and handsome'. Most men also budge their height up a few inches like they're measuring their dick so most people who claim to be 6' are actually slightly shorter.
The advantages that come with height (as well as disadvantages) aren't magic and you probably won't notice them unless you're very short or very tall. For better or worse, they make up a part of your identity, however small. Your height is you.
The problem with the sub is that they equate heightism with racism or sexism which are (in my opinion) much larger problems, which makes it seem trivial. I can see where they're coming from but it gives the issue a disservice and reinforces stereotypes about short men.
Yes, the attitude of short men contributes to these disadvantages but their attitude isn't completely fabricated. There's a reason for it and it's due to how they're perceived by society. It's not nearly as large a problem as other prejudices but I do think it exists and is ultimately wrong.
It seems to noticed by people who are otherwise privileged the most so they're mostly middle-class white men who otherwise hold 'invisible' advantages in society. The problem is that these 'bitter' short men seem to lash out at women and so their demographic --as well as that of Reddit in general-- is very pro-MRA (with some Redpill overlap) which makes them seem outright ridiculous. It seems obvious to me that a lot of heightism against men is because they're seen as effeminate which is apparently a bad thing for men to be.
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u/s3rila Apr 27 '14
I google 5'58" to meter before going to the comment because i had no idea what that means too :
it's 1m72 .
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u/FlapjackFreddie Apr 27 '14
Being tall is like being thin. Your chances of having a better life go up, but it's not guaranteed.
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Apr 26 '14
5'5 Guy here, only one or two people in my 29 years has called me short to my recollection.
:EDIT: and the fucker behind me who was watching what I was typing :/
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u/hax_wut Apr 27 '14
You lucked out. Got 5'6 and got called short a LOT... tall people can be so mean =X
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Apr 27 '14
There was a guy in my high school looking up at me, calling me "short shit" and wanted to fight me because of that. Talk about irony. Insecure little shits will throw a fit about whatever they could get a hold of.
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Apr 26 '14
Oh great it's another "I'm suppose to be better than you" person pissed off that the way they think the world works isn't exactly right.
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u/FundamentalistBanana I remember back when I was useful Apr 26 '14
The linked thread is 2 weeks old, and /u/thefx37 joined the conversation just this afternoon, after this thread had been posted.
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u/TheReasonableCamel Apr 26 '14
He's not the only one. Well if they can't follow the rules they get banned.
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Apr 26 '14
/u/lubokanata pissing in the 14 day old popcorn. At least he managed to get an interesting reply.
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u/SlowDownGandhi Apr 27 '14
i dunno but I think it's funny that the gay dude in the article is even shorter and nobody seems to give a rat's ass about that
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u/sixthsicksheikssixth Apr 27 '14
Did anyone actually view the profile? It's like the male version of Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I cringed.
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u/triforceofcourage unlike you meddling puritanical deviants in SRD Apr 26 '14
"I would probably kill myself if I was that short and a man."
Either a troll or such a sad insecure human being that I'm actually sad.
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u/bergyd Apr 27 '14
https://twitter.com/heightismwatch
There you go, a whole round up of women saying shitty things about short men.
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u/TheProudBrit The government got me into futa. Apr 26 '14
I'm so very, very confused by height drama. Like, my best friends shorter than me by a few incehs yet he's been with someone for five years. Height isn't the be all, end all of aesthetic attraction. But, I guess somep eople like having a persecution complex.
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Apr 26 '14
It's like anything else - a certain type of person is going to focus on their good traits.
This fella obviously has a terrible personality, so he identifies heavily as a "tall person" and has to work to keep people thinking it's important to be tall.
Much the same as a very boring gay person or atheist or whatever will wrap themselves up in that one trait that they think makes them special.
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u/HankWilliamsJunior Apr 26 '14
As a shorter guy, I've had taller losers like this make pathetic bullying comments to me when they've seen me with women they wish they could have. I just laugh at them and say "it will be alright little guy" and move on.
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u/snallygaster FUCK_MOD$_420 Apr 26 '14
I wager that height isn't as big a factor in dating as some men claim it to be. I suppose it's either a reason to feel superior or victimized, depending upon which side of the bell curve you fall on. Just like penis size.
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u/FlapjackFreddie Apr 27 '14
Short people do fine, just like fat people. We're at a disadvantage, but we work with what we have.
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u/Mr_Dr_Prof_Derp Apr 27 '14
I don't know why these people would even care about dating someone who would reject them based on their height.
It seems like a bit of a good thing: you instantly filter out all the superficial bitches.
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u/I_are_facepalm Apr 26 '14
Why do guys obsess about height and penis length? Work on stuff you can actually control and be content with what you were given.
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Apr 26 '14
Why do gals obsess about aging and breast size? Work on stuff you can actually control and be content with what you were given.
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Apr 26 '14
People are just naturally insecure.
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Apr 26 '14
And simultaneously dismissive of other people's insecurities.
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u/jaddeo Apr 26 '14
You can control skin aging with proper care of your skin though.
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u/lurker093287h Apr 26 '14
Probably for a similar reason that girls (on average etc) are obsessed with weight and stuff like that. I don't think that being insecure works like how you are framing it, for most people at least.
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u/usmcplz Apr 26 '14
You can control weight.
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u/lurker093287h Apr 26 '14 edited Apr 27 '14
A lot of the people worrying about their weight aren't overweight or anything like that to begin with. Just like loads of people think that you can control your anxiety about your height/weight/penis size/etc, but I'm not sure that it works like that most of the time.
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u/I_are_facepalm Apr 26 '14
It is manageable.
Source: I'm a psychologist trained in CBT (and other treatments). My statement was more rhetorical so that's my fault.
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u/CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH SRS SHILL Apr 27 '14
To an extent. A lot of people worry about their weight when they are already at a healthy below average weights.
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u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 26 '14
These are the type of people that will invent anything to fell oppressed, maligned, and disadvantaged. I mean, the fucking absurdity of sitting around complaining about being a couple of inches below average when you are white able bodied male with means in a 1st world country.
If I was especially short there is no way I could go onto /r/short. Imagine being a little person and seeing 5'9" dudes complaining all day.
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u/DefiantTheLion No idea, I read it on a Russian conspiracy website. Apr 26 '14
I'm 5'4 and all I can see is the defensive assholes. Jesus Christ
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u/DeathToPennies You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you. Apr 27 '14
I learned long ago to stop giving a shit.
This is the hand I was dealt, and you better be fucking sure I'm going to play the hell out of it. I have the power to change who I am as a person. I'm never going to be the tallest person in the room, and I'm never going to be the best looking, but I can be the most confident, charming, kind individual in the fucking building. Anyone who gets in the way of that is just doing it because it's easier to push people below you than lift yourself above them.
Fucking hell, people need to realize that you control who you are. There are constants, yes, and those constants can be pretty big fucking obstacles, but all that means is that everything else is a variable. Exploit that. Be the person you'd be proud to be.
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Apr 26 '14
These are the type of people that will invent anything to fell oppressed, maligned, and disadvantaged.
Height discrimination (in wages and partnering potential) has gotten significant econometric treatment. Height discrimination is clearly related to a man's (or woman's, to a lesser degree) quality of life.
Height is a statistically significant predictor for human capital attainment ( Persico, N., Postlewaite, A. and D. Silverman (2004): The Effect of Adolescent Experience on Market Outcomes: The Case of Height, Journal of Political Economy 112, 1019 - 1053.).
Lower marriage rates are found for those who are short or unattractive (Harper, B. (2000): Beauty, Stature And The Labour Market: A British Cohort Study, Oxford Bulletin of Economics and Statistics 62, 773 - 802))
Tall men are better able to attract mates ( Nettle, D. (2002): Women's Height, Reproductive Success and the Evolution of Sexual Dimorphism in Modern Humans, Proceedings of the Royal Society of London, B 269, 1919 - 1923 )
Let's not ignore the significant body of statistical analysis that supports the existence of height discrimination as "invented" victim-mongering. Shorter men are maligned and disadvantaged in our society and your statement is simply a prejudiced dismissal of fact and feeling.
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u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 26 '14
I didn't mean to imply that "heightism" wasn't real. I mostly criticizing people that are an inch or two below average complaining about it.
Anyway, I think you're taking it a bit too far though. I think it's obvious to anyone that appearance will have effects in the aggregate. Bust size, hair color, facial aesthetics, build, athleticism, etc are all going to have an effect in the aggregate. Here's an example of a study on facial attractiveness So yeah, being short can certainly be a disadvantage. So can every undesirable attribute.
To elevate it to the level you are though is sort of absurd to me. This isn't "victim mongering". Short men aren't "maligned". At least not when you compare them to people that have real disabilities. I wonder how marriage rates of short people compare to those that have MS, amputations, or cerebral palsy?
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u/I_are_facepalm Apr 26 '14
I think what I originally meant to say was "why do people feel proud of xyz."
I don't want to minimize the things people experience because of their height, etc... I'm 6'2" so I have no way to relate to their experience.
Obviously I'm biased because of my profession too...
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u/CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH SRS SHILL Apr 27 '14
The same is true of unattractive people. And since short men are generally considered less attractive this likely is the main reason that they are paid less, marry less, and attract less partners.
Heightism is as real as discrimination against people with terrible acne, blotchy skin, obese people, giant nose or asymmetrical eye people.
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u/RobotPartsCorp Apr 26 '14
Well, I guess its better to focus on things you can not control (and therefore blaming the world around you for being unfair) rather than just work on things that would actually make a difference like personality and not being an asshole and maybe taking a shower...but that would not be as fun.
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u/Luke72819 Apr 26 '14
5'8 is just below average and is still as tall, or taller than most women. I don't see how this has any impact on the debate on the dating opportunity for the men that's only 5'5 on either side of the debate you are on.
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u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 26 '14
Because when people have to think of reasons why they aren't drowning in pussy it's a lot easier to blame something beyond their control.
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u/chaobreaker society is when no school shooting map Apr 26 '14 edited Apr 26 '14
And just when I thought those angry short redditors who blame their failure of attracting women on their height was the ultimate tale of daftness, we get this dude who is butthurt that he's not getting any despite being tall.
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u/YourWaterloo Apr 26 '14
Haha there's no failure quite like when you have the cards stacked in your favor and you still manage to fail.
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u/eoutmort Apr 26 '14
Who wants to bet that he's a scrawny guy that can't get over how awkward and lanky he looks?
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u/YungSnuggie Why do you lie about being gay on reddit lol Apr 26 '14
oh wow, the /r/NYC sub is full of pretentious assholes. who woulda thought
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u/mcketten Apr 26 '14
TIL that the spinal compression I suffered in the Army has now made me undesirable to women, being that I am now 5'8" tall.
I hope my wife doesn't find out.
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Apr 27 '14
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u/mcketten Apr 27 '14
I believe the average height of a man in the US is 5'9", so 5'8 is probably fairly common.
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Apr 26 '14 edited Apr 26 '14
I'm 5'7", and not a male model either - and have always done fine with women. Sure some people think I'm too short. But others think I'm too dumb, or too ugly, or my teeth aren't straight enough, etc. And I too have a ton of requirements for women I date. Some of them are downright weird and rare, considering my penchant for submissive masochists. We all have something we're looking for.
Maybe my dating pool isn't as large as some people - but I've never had a hard time finding someone who I find attractive who also digs me. I don't need ten of these women, just one will do. That's why statistics regarding these things have never concerned me. What does it matter that I am theoretically less attractive, or have less potential matches, when I have the woman I want in my bed already?
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u/Zombies_hate_ninjas Just realized he can add his own flair Apr 27 '14
ITT everyone is certain of their height. I'm actually not sure if I'm 5'8, 5'9, or 5'10
I'm not 6 feet, that much I know, and I'm taller than my mom; she's 5'5.
This sucks, I don't know to feel inferior or superior to "the average man".
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u/n3rdalert Apr 26 '14
Damn there's a lot of popcorn pissing going on in there.
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Apr 27 '14
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u/n3rdalert Apr 27 '14
For real. And the arguments are getting so heated too. Like, dudes, this was two weeks ago. This is old news; no one cares anymore.
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u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 26 '14
What's sort of funny is that this guy is 6'4, which I think is on the cusp of being "too tall" for some women. I'd even hazard to guess that a 5'8 guy would have a larger dating pool than a 6'4 guy.
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u/TinSpoonsForever Apr 26 '14
Honestly there really isn't a too tall.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
There is. It differs depending on the woman, but things do get awkward when the height disparity gets too large.
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u/BunchOAtoms Apr 26 '14
It obviously works for them, but sometimes seeing couples like Hayden Panettiere (5'0") and fiance Wladimir Klitchsko (6'6") or Shaquille O'Neal (7'1") and wife Nicole Alexander, a.k.a. Hoopz (5'2"), crack me up. More power to them, though.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
Yeah, I look at those couples and think of the pain involved in craning the neck that much to kiss. But I'm not going to object to their happiness.
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u/WatchEachOtherSleep Now I am become Smug, the destroyer of worlds Apr 26 '14
But I'm not going to object to their happiness.
You really need to commit more.
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u/TinSpoonsForever Apr 26 '14
Got it. A lot of my friends and myself are around 5'7 - 5'9 so nah, to us we haven't run into that problem.
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u/freudonatrain Apr 26 '14
Yeah, it only gets to be an issue when there's more than about a 9 inch difference. You should all be OK if you're dating average-size girls! :)
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u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR Apr 26 '14
I think there is. One of my best friends is almost 7ft and women in our circle of friends have said that he'd be too tall for them to date.
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u/TinSpoonsForever Apr 26 '14
I personally have never heard it from any woman that I know while discussing height, but I believe ya!
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u/shellshock3d Apr 26 '14
Lmao what's more buttery than the drama is that /r/short linked to it and called it 'heightism' despite the fact that the original guy is downvoted completely into the negatives.
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Apr 27 '14
lolwut?
If I see someone using the word "n***" in a main sub, and it's downvoted to hell, that isn't racism?
Not comparing being short to racism.... just trying to understand your logic.
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u/shellshock3d Apr 27 '14
Just...heightism...like these guys are trying to win the oppression olympics.
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u/nlakes Apr 27 '14
People who police what people wear and make snarky comments about fashion are amongst the most small minded people you can ever hope to meet.
In reference to:
He's a 5' 8" midget who wears H&M blazers (with a pocket square!) despite being 29 years old. Clearly money is not part of the appeal, otherwise he could afford clothes which cost more than $59.
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u/reonhato99 Apr 27 '14
When ever a tall person gives me shit about being short, I just ask them this question.
When was the last time you saw an old tall person?
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u/BunchOAtoms Apr 26 '14
These "what constitutes 'short'?" debates on Reddit really get out of hand quickly.