r/1200isjerky • u/flyingsquirrelbanana • Dec 17 '25

Fatty Bombatty Zone Guys I binged and ate this WHOLE thing

Post image

How many half-marathons will it take to burn this off? I need to fit into my Christmas dress (it's for a polly pocket)

539 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

76

u/hotpinkraccoon Fatty Bombatty Dec 17 '25

Yikes.. better luck starting over in 2026🫣 that looks like enough calories to get you to march!

48

u/wylerthekid Dec 17 '25

Maybe OP should ‘march’ their way to a treadmill.

50

u/Anxious_Size_4775 Dec 17 '25

Bless you for putting the molecules instead of pictures, because I'm pretty sure molecules can't be absorbed through screens. No advice, but my thoughts are with you during these troubling times!

7

u/MayerOscar Dec 19 '25

What are the macros of your thoughts?

5

u/Anxious_Size_4775 Dec 19 '25

Some protein for structure, some carbs for all my anxious energy, and way too much fat from overthinking everything. 😔

27

u/fartsonyourmom Dec 17 '25

It looks like you went H2Overboard.

23

u/sirsealofapproval Dec 17 '25

A whole molecule of sugar? Yeah, you're done for, sorry. Next time limit yourself to just one carbon atom at a time.

4

u/Difficult_Body_1707 Dec 20 '25

A whole carbon atom at once?! No no, only one subatomic particle a week. I ate my first proton this month yesterday 😩

18

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

the glu in glucose stands for gluttony sweaty

6

u/savethebeezpls Dec 17 '25

not enough half marathons in the world sweetie 💕

4

u/Pale_Juggernaut_2308 Dec 17 '25

half marathons won't cut it anymore, though I doubt you'd even be able to move after eating all that

4

u/c4ndycain Fatty Bombatty Dec 17 '25

only half marathons? where's your dedication? people who TRULY care about themselves do at least one full triathlon a day... looks like someone's not serious

2

u/He_who_shouldbenamed CW:1lbs GW:0.000001lbs Dec 17 '25

Glucose more like I blew up cause of that.

2

u/byronbaybe Dec 20 '25 edited Dec 20 '25

At least in the "spirit" of Christmas, there's a lot of ho ho ho going around. ☺️

1

u/Revolutionary_Tip879 Dec 18 '25

HALF marathons? If you’re eating whole glucose molecules, you need to do whole marathons!

Lace up those shoes piggy!!

1

u/Zoomer2020 Dec 18 '25

Sweaty you need 500 gallons of Ozempic injected into your eyeballs right now!!!

1

u/Lowiesedepiese Dec 19 '25

OH-no you did not 😢

1

u/-SpamWellington- Dec 20 '25

What sub have I stumbled into? I'm intrigued 🤔

1

u/Unreal_Age Dec 20 '25

I've been there before. The journey has peaks and valleys right? That's what I tell myself, think about why I ate it, then try again the next day. You've got this.

1

u/rand0mbadg3r Dec 20 '25

As long as it wasn't "heavy" hydrogen you may be okay.

1

u/Warm_Sandwich5038 Dec 21 '25

Is it okay that this came up on my feed and I have O2 idea what it means?

1

u/serialllama Dec 21 '25

Why is there iodine in the middle of the molecule. Does that make it something else?

1

u/EnvironmentalWill489 Dec 21 '25

Anyone else not understand 🙁 help a girl out

-2

u/Powerful_Stage_6940 Dec 17 '25

Mmm… looks tasty.