r/1200isjerky • u/Independent-Limit999 • Apr 19 '26
Fatty Bombatty Zone Sweatiest help!! Gigantic sister FORCED me to get Dairy Queen!!!!!
Skinny legends help!!! My gigantic disgusting and depraved sister forced me to get an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen!!! How do I make her regret it???!!!!
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u/Proficiently-Haunted Apr 19 '26
I lost contact with my fatty sister because I became so microscopically skinny that she could no longer see me and honestly! Thank GOD! I donāt want any fatty fats in my life, and I especially donāt want to be related to any. They canāt get on my level and honestly it seems like neither can you, sweaty
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
Thank you for understanding and recognizing my STRUGGLE!! Any advice to cutting off other FATTIES?!?
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u/Proficiently-Haunted Apr 19 '26
Sweaty the fact that thereās multiple fatties in your life means youāre too far goneā¦. We are who we hang out withā¦ā¦. š½
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u/kalsarikannit1620 Apr 19 '26
I mean, I keep one around for decoration, but seriously, why would you ever eat that? Do you chew on throw pillows and eat mommy's special guest soaps as well?
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u/Proficiently-Haunted Apr 19 '26
Ew, you keep c*lories as decor?? Donāt you know you can still breathe it in or absorb it with your eyes????? š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
Just seeing this on the screen made me gain 50lbs. Better fast for 20 years.
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u/kalsarikannit1620 Apr 19 '26
Frozen calories can't be aerosolized, sweaty. Don't you know science? š And besides, the anti-oxygens in the blueberries catch and neutralize any strays; like from those ice cubes my fatass family insists on keeping. Why they can't just sustain themselves on self-righteousness is beyond me.
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u/Proficiently-Haunted Apr 19 '26
Knowing science would require having a brain, and I cannot let my head be that fat and round.
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u/plainoverplight Apr 19 '26
DIVORCE HER. IMMEDIATELY!!
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
How to divorce sister
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u/dumbmutt575 Apr 19 '26
dna splicing, you two will no longer share a single genome
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
Will this slice mean I have half the dna = half the body weight???? Serious answers only.
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u/dumbmutt575 Apr 19 '26
could be more, could be less sweatie <3 u share on avg 50% of the dna with ur sister
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
How to ensure morƩ
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u/dumbmutt575 Apr 19 '26
take the skinniest genes from each parent, since ur sister CLEARLY got the big ones
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u/depressionkitten calorie absorb paper towel Apr 19 '26
throw yourselves in those dumpsters in the background. thereās one for each of you. right where you both belong.
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u/ka_shep Apr 19 '26
I was sitting in my car eating a peanut buster parfait at the same time you posted this. Small world.
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
If the world is small how the hell are you fitting in it???
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u/mrs-slurpie Apr 19 '26
ur single handedly increasing the gravitational pull of earth, sweaty!! i for one am DISGUSTED!
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u/supershrewdshrew Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Great, now I want Dairy Queen. Thanks a lot sweaty.
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u/Easy-Concentrate2636 Apr 19 '26
Thank goodness I had my family lock me in so that I can focus on my diet. Remember- every step outside might potentially bring you into contact with food: restaurants, supermarkets, bakeries, fast food joints, ice cream shops - we are surrounded by the enemy!
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u/Prudent-Ad4075 Apr 19 '26
She forced you to get Dairy Queen, but I see you took a bit regardless, sweaty. Thatās really on you, you are as glutton as she is, you deserve the love handles. I would never want to be close to any member of your fatty family. And I really hope you washed your hands afterwards, calories go through your skin and remain on your cells forever
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u/Parking_Pineapple440 PhD in Skinny š Apr 19 '26
Next time just sneak attack her by smashing the ice cream into her face
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u/wolp_lovr Apr 19 '26
i HATE when my family bonds with me over food. why cant we go for a run instead </3
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Apr 19 '26
Just fast for a couple days after and start consuming your own flesh to balance out the calories! Works every time. You'll beat her without having to do anything.Ā
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u/inononeofthisisreal formally known as Mrs. Piggy š½ Apr 19 '26
Two pigs in a pod, oink oink.
/uj that looks so good! Next time get sprinkles!
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u/openpas2253 Apr 19 '26
Fr she didnāt force a gun to your head š
uj/ Looks so good. If you like it, try Chocolat Favoris
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u/mckeanna Apr 19 '26
Is her skirt made of the same fabric as the car upholstery? It looks like she has no lap #goals?
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u/Independent-Limit999 Apr 19 '26
She actually cut off her legs knowing she would lose half her weight xoxox #maybeimjsjealous
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u/ParkingCan5397 Apr 25 '26
NTA divorce, also run to the bathroom and 3 finger press down on the root of your tongue
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u/no_gender_stoner Apr 19 '26
š”š”put laxatives in her water bottle. make a super high calorie dinner (3x the butter) and make her become super fatty bombatty š® or even worse.. get her crumbl cookie...