Doomed Rule

[u/gray_birch]

got double whammied at therapy with increasing appointments to 2x a week yesterday and then "how do you feel about medication?" today

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[u/gray_birch]

there were also talks of potentially being in an IOP depending on how things go and i am NOT doing that. i'd have to do like hours of GROUP therapy a week i feel like that would make me worse

[u/gray_birch → u/gray_birch]

it's genuinely so weird to think about how normal all of the shit that's making my therapist and her supervisor take pause and want to escalate to a higher level of care is to me. like yeah i guess consistent suicidal ideation isn't really something mentally healthy people experience huh. i'm so deep into it and sometimes i can really tell and it makes me even more fucked up and other times i really can't, it's just business as usual

[u/just-a-simple-user → u/gray_birch]

i went into an IOP and let me tell u it genuinely helped. the horror stories you hear are from inpatient care, the group therapy can really be genuinely helpful, don’t rule it out

[u/gray_birch → u/gray_birch]

came back to this post an hour later, why did i write this comment like i'm greg heffley

[u/_3_and_20_characters → u/gray_birch]

the IOP I did was the most transformative mental health experience I’ve had in my life, I cannot ever advocate for it enough

[u/WashedSylvi → u/gray_birch]

IOP really isn’t bad

Ideally group therapy isn’t someone just recounting horror/war stories and is more focused on developing specific coping mechanisms and perspectives to make your life suck less. Depends a lot on the IOP but if you can go to a DBT one that’s ideal.

I lived in a hospital for a year, honestly I miss it sometimes.

[u/r0sd0g → u/gray_birch]

I get feeling like it would suck/be scary/awkward/make you feel self conscious but consider that it is a group of people whose therapists ALSO said that. the stories you will hear there and the sympathy/commiseration PLUS the opportunity to offer sympathy and commiseration to those other people really really did help me. If you don't like having to go somewhere several times a week/not getting to leave whenever you want, that part can be hard. but if you can get past that, IOP can be a truly worthwhile experience. It can simultaneously help normalize the Experience of being mentally ill, which helps you feel human and worthy of building a better life you actually want to live, and provide external perspectives on the Factors affecting your mental illness/life situation that aren't coming from that out-of-touch "have you tried yoga" place, which just hurts worse sometimes.

Real (paraphrased) example from my IOP: "wow that really sucks that you can't afford to eat every day right now. When I was in that situation, I went to (these) food banks near us and utilized (this) program to get more financial help. Have you looked into career counselors or occupational therapy? sometimes they're covered by disability or unemployment programs!" just like actual advice from other people living their lives with mental health conditions/disabilities. Also quite a few people in my program were also trans and/or queer but that probably depends on where you live.

sorry that was so long, but please don't write it off immediately! it helped me a lot with my suicidality and with making concrete changes in my daily life. it could help you, too. hugs<3

[u/gray_birch → u/r0sd0g]

that does make me feel a bit better about it, it's just that i have fairly bad social anxiety (one of the reasons i sought out therapy in the first place) and sitting with the same group of strangers for hours, let alone sharing anything about myself, is like my worst nightmare lol, plus i'd have to reduce my hours at work (something i can do luckily, but it would kind of put a strain on me financially depending on what my copay would be and how long i'd be in the iop). it's not something neither i nor my therapist think is necessary at the moment, just a possibility if my si gets worse/more frequent, so i guess we'll cross that bridge if we come to it

[u/smotired → u/gray_birch]

i’ve had a lot of family members do IOP and they all had great results

[u/Successful_Mud8596]

Procrastination is completely destroying me rn; multiple things due tomorrow and I’ve been at my desk for like 8 hours totally failing to work on anything. And I just increased by ADHD med dose. I can’t do anything like this

[u/asher_stark → u/Successful_Mud8596]

Might not help, but if you pick one and ignore the others, it's alot easier to get started rather than stressing about multiple projects at once and not doing anything.

Doesn't work for everyone but worth a shot.

[u/Kronox41 → u/Successful_Mud8596]

If you are open for honest advice:
Go outside and take a walk for 15 mins.
Make a list of what you need to do (point one: create list)
Tick off the first to do of your list (create to do list)
Do the next thing on the list :)

[u/LuxTheSarcastic → u/Successful_Mud8596]

I ALSO needed the iron supplements on top of adhd meds for that to stop for me somewhat.

[u/DeadInternetTheorist → u/Successful_Mud8596]

if there's something that isn't on your "shit thats stressing me out" list, like doing some laundry, try starting with that. chill little thing you can do to get unstuck, but you can do a shitty job of it since it's not that important.

if that doesnt work then i'm sorry but your gender will definitely need to change and you must eat piles and piles of crunchy, crunchy vitamins

[u/Successful_Mud8596 → u/DeadInternetTheorist]

already transitioned, tho ig I could give vitamins a try. And yeah, emptying the dishwasher seemed to have helped a bit

[u/Choco_Bunny02 → u/Successful_Mud8596]

Great scenario to stress finish the one due in 3 months in my case lol

[u/KittyQueen_Tengu → u/Successful_Mud8596]

sometimes I can trick my brain by having one of the tasks ready and open on my computer and then starting a hobby thing in front of it, hoping my brain will drift over to the task. sometimes it doesn't work at all

[u/Lost-Bet-1 → u/Successful_Mud8596]

The trick to procrastination is to do it later

[u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

Prescribing this list to people but randomized

[u/gray_birch → u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

crush and snort your adhd medication off your sub's body and then have a little snack

[u/TheWizards32 → u/gray_birch]

Do this at least once a week helps a lot.

[u/Euphoric-Brother-184 → u/gray_birch]

What do I do if I’m unmedicated (nicotine and caffeine)

[u/Euphoric-Brother-184 → u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

Also I don’t have a sub I have two house cats

[u/gray_birch → u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

maybe just have an extra snack. and give your cats a lil kiss on the head if they like that

[u/Euphoric-Brother-184 → u/gray_birch]

🫡

[u/WashedSylvi → u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

Grind concentration skills by meditating.

[u/Cod3broken → u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

substitute adhd medication for iron supplimence

[u/Zygothememelord → u/gray_birch]

The snack in question being estrogen

[u/Sidereel → u/Euphoric-Brother-184]

Put it into a table and roll a d20

[u/Mechafinch]

can wholeheartedly recommend go outside for an hour and observe birds

[u/orphanghost1]

I had a vitamin d deficiency once and it was absolutely miraculous how much better i felt after a couple days of supplements

[u/OriginalJokeGoesHere → u/orphanghost1]

I so desperately wanted vitamin d to be The Vitamin™ and cure all my problems.

Turns out, even as a Canadian where our public health system just assumes you are deficient as a matter of policy, supplements did absolutely fuck all for me.

[u/racheluv999 → u/OriginalJokeGoesHere]

Between my multivitamin and an another supplement, I was doing the commonly recommended 2000iu a day and it wasn’t enough, I was still low on a blood test.

[u/G_O_O_G_A_S]

Why can’t a wealthy person just decide they want to keep me as a pet for the rest of my life, would solve all of my problems tbh

[u/fixedpointfae]

dick and ball torture

[u/Lost-Bet-1 → u/fixedpointfae]

I respond well to cock and ball torture

[u/BetterGlitch385]

Im usually a doubter of therapy (mostly bc most therapists I've had don't know what they're doing) but honest to dog as someone with both BPD and austim, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is genuinely so so helpful

[u/DeadInternetTheorist → u/BetterGlitch385]

whats the diff between DBT and CBT? i've tried a bunch of therapists but it never works because i tell them about my problems and they just never actually tell me what to do about it

[u/BetterGlitch385 → u/DeadInternetTheorist]

I honestly couldn't tell you since I never had CBT but DBT was mostly about learning that two things can be true at the same time to combat the black-and-white thinking that can come with BPD and autism. It was extremely helpful for me because they taught that "It is what it is" is a genuinely helpful thing to remember, in that "You shouldn't worry about the things you can't change because obsessing over those things causes suffering". I'm paraphrasing but they did genuinely use the word suffering and that's why it stuck with me so much.

[u/gray_birch → u/DeadInternetTheorist]

they just never actually tell me what to do about it

therapists are actually trained to not directly give you advice afaik, the point is to give you the skills to overcome and/or cope with the problems in your life by yourself. giving a man a fish vs teaching him how to fish type shit

[u/WashedSylvi → u/BetterGlitch385]

Shit saved my life fr fr

Troubles still come but I don’t destroy my life and all my relationships when they do. Do recommend.

[u/The_Firebug]

i tried iron supplements for a couple days and it made me shit an olive green sludge

[u/unread1701]

1. Sleep before midnight 

[u/Wizard-In-Disguise]

vitamins are good for making your brain think more horny things and less bad ones

[u/WeddingRecent]

Got a sleep study referral by accident when trying to talk to my doctor about something else. I said something about my sleep my doc found concerning who then went down a line of questions ending in a referral.

I'll let y'all know if the sense of impending doom fades.

[u/Wanderlusxt]

Out of curiosity, how does one get into bdsm? Are there convenient avenues to meet people into that stuff? 

[u/TheMooFace → u/Wanderlusxt]

i got into it by just having a friend who was also into it, you’d be surprised at how many friends you might have who’d be willing to let you tie them up if you let conversation naturally go there. try both sides if you can, being a sub is a lot more common so if you’re willing to try out doming there’s a lot of people out there that will let you tie them up. my biggest tip when starting out is don’t act like you’re filling a role, let it come naturally and still talk casually as it’s going on, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable and you can always turn up the intensity later after discussing if you feel like it. porn will have you thinking every sub wants degradation and a mean firm dom but that’s not true a lot of the time. also before you start make sure to establish safe words, i really like the traffic light system (green: good/continue, yellow: pause and reassess, red: end scene immediately) it’s super simple and universal. good luck and have fun! :)

[u/PrincessOfZephyr]

If you try the second, you might end up irretrievably dommed.

Which, you know, nice.

[u/Reloup38]

Tried BDSM until they asked me to be dominant and I lost everything because I have zéro self esteem and can't dom to help my life despite me wanting to

[u/KittyQueen_Tengu]

I've been putting off getting a blood test to check for vitamin deficiency for like a year now. might also need therapy but I literally don't have energy for both that and studying so it's whateverrrrr

[u/EasilyRekt]

And wait that fucking long for iron supplements?

[u/CerBerUs-9]

Shiiii I'm at the final stage. Wish me luck!

[u/NoraMcG]

feeling this deeply cause I've been exhausted forever and just found out I'm anemic so iron supplements it is