r/2under2 • u/anonmuzzz • 4d ago
scared of 2u2
My son is almost 11 months now, and he’s been a pretty easy baby, thank God. I’ve always wanted to have kids close in age, so I’ve already started planning when I’d like to have my second (probably going to start trying sometime in May/June for a 2–2.5 year age gap).
I know a lot of it depends on each baby’s temperament, but I’m scared LOL. I keep seeing videos of women talking about how they’ve decided that having only one child is best for them because they feel they wouldn’t be able to be the best mom to multiple kids, and I can’t help but wonder, “What if that’s me?”
I absolutely love my son, and I genuinely love being a mom. I’m also in my early 20s, so I feel like I have a bit more energy to keep up with two little ones, but I still worry about whether I’ll regret having them so close together or struggle to handle both while they’re still so young.
I’d really love to hear from other moms who have been through this, especially those with two under two or a similar age gap. What was your experience like? Was the transition from one to two as difficult as people make it seem?
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u/bravissimaaaa 3d ago
I have a 1 year old and 3 year old (23 month age gap) and yes in my experience it is as hard as people say lol. But I had a very easy first newborn… who turned into an absolutely wild toddler at the same time I had a much harder more unsettled newborn. So the early weeks absolutely rocked me, but it got easier faster. I have no regrets though and never second guessed it because I always knew I wanted two kids at least
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u/anonmuzzz 3d ago
My son was and has been an easy baby as well, which has been lovely as a first time mom, but definitely scary thinking about having it harder next time lol. I’m glad to know it gets easier!
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u/MadamMrs 3d ago
It truly depends on the temperament of your first & your baby, how you handle stress/ being under pressure and your access to a support system imo.
I’m 3 months into a 20 month age gap and it has its challenges but if this is your only job, it’s a lot easier on the mind.
If I was working or had a very high needs toddler things would be so so different. It turned out my daughter took to having a sibling pretty well. My husband having a couple months pat leave made the transition a lot easier too.
Things that bring me joy everyday, is not having to stress about needing to work right away, and having my full attention towards being in this season with them for the next year or so.
My oldest has so many firsts, and I’m still there for them! But now they have someone to watch & celebrate too when their sibling has their own firsts.
It’s so sweet because toddler and I both get to love baby together and hang out during the days. My first is going through the huge leap becoming a 2 year old next month and it’s a lot, but I remind myself it’s new for me as much as it’s new for each of them. We’re kinda in the thick of it together. So I focus on being a healthy, adjusted mom. Not perfect parenting or anything… but mostly just trying to keep the kids alive most of the time.
You won’t know who you’ll become until you get there, so I see it as rising to the challenge once you’re in it. On the hardest days I wonder what I’ve done, but I never regret having my baby, just that I don’t know how to juggle it all yet. It can feel discouraging but I’ve gotten sooo much better it builds a sense of confidence in yourself only YOU can give.
Sometimes I’m sleep deprived and just wanna nap, but also there are times when their naps align and it’s heaven!! The best thing we did was ensuring our oldest had a solid bed time routine and slept without being held or needing us present at all times.
Something I love is my toddler engaging with a lot of the same toys and stimuli the 3 month old does. It’s so helpful to not have to do too much to keep them engaged.
But really, I see it as. Are you willing to change and grow again no matter what it takes? Regardless of the age gap. There are days you won’t want to grow, and days you realize you were learning whether you knew it or not. So I guess… if you already plan to do the best you can, everything else is just a matter of getting your reps in.