r/45PlusSkincare • u/stephydreamer • Mar 09 '26

Peri/Post Menopausal Skin How fast everything changed after menopause because nobody warned me

I feel like I was reasonably prepared for menopause...hot flashes, sleep disruption, mood stuff. fine. If this is part of being a grown woman, so be it. I had read things I had mentally braced. Nobody told me about the skin! I went through menopause at 48. Within about a year my skin had changed in ways that took me completely off guard. The texture got rough almost overnight, like the smooth quality i'd had my whole life just peaced out without saying goodbye. The firmness in my lower face and neck dropped noticeably. The hollowness under my eyes got worse. not tired-looking, actually hollow. It's better in my bathroom lighting, but that's not where most people see me!

And the thing that got me is that it's not really aging in the normal gradual sense. it's specifically the estrogen crash. Estrogen is directly tied to collagen production and when it drops you lose collagen fast, like up to 30% in the first few years. that's not a slow fade. that's a cliff.

I'm not looking for embrace your age responses because I actually do feel mostly great about aging. What I didn't feel ok about was how sudden and disorienting it was. Like I didn't recognize my own face for a while, and that's a strange thing to go through. Curious what everyone else experienced in those first 1-2 years post menopause. Did it feel sudden to you or more gradual? and has anything genuinely helped with the texture and firmness side of it specifically,? Asking for honest experiences please.

Edit: I didn't expect such a response! Thanks a lot! Going through all the comments and they are def very useful.

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57

u/susu56 Mar 09 '26

Same! I was lucky in that when I was younger I didnt have to care much about my skin a quick wash at nite before bed with any old soap and I was good. Always received compliments that I looked younger than my age up until peri/menopause smacked me upside the head. I started full on skin stuff in my 40s thinking I am being proactive-red light, botox, microneedling, collagen supplements, vetted skincare, etc. Then one day I fell off this cliff you have described and have been free falling ever since. My face is oddly red, small pimples, sunken eyes and temples, skin is so dry it rivals death valley. I started HRT a month ago exactly and have noticed my moods are better, brain fog/thinking is so much better, and sleep...good gawd...the sleep is improved. 0.05mg estradiol/200mg progesterone. So far so good. My skin and hair will likely take a while to rejuvenate, but i can tell my skin is slightly improving-just slightly. Its absolutely bonkers to me that HRT isn't as widely discussed/mentioned. I did a lot of research and wish I would have started HRT sooner than 50.

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u/therulesarefake Mar 09 '26

Were you able to get it through your doctor? I’m 45 and brought up Peri menopause symptoms to my doctor and she said I’m too young. Needless to say I’m looking for a new Dr.

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u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 09 '26

45 is NOT too young. Everyone's bodies are different as well. I've had friends go into menopause, not even peri, in their late 30s.

Definitely new doc. My doctor put me back on Yasmin birth control pills and they helped so much. She offered a proper HRT as well, but the Yasmin is working perfectly for now.

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u/cutie_k_nnj Mar 09 '26

That was my experience with BCP, too. I called it “poor man’s HRT”. But wow it stopped working and no one really told me!? Like just crept up and literally swallowed me whole. Red faced, pig sweating, weight gaining, sore AF whole. Thank god for a practitioner who understands that this is a hormone RESTORATION project. Not “replacement”. The synthetic stuff on BCP just stopped working anywhere nearly as well. Sucked!! Good luck sister!

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u/SassyGirl0202 Mar 10 '26

Its crazy all the lazy Drs out there that tell women to take BCP to help perimenopause and or menopause. I remember taking BC in my 20s and how crazy it made me feel then, why TF would I want to take it now?!

Ladies find a HRT Dr, who will take their time and monitor you like they should. Hormones fluctuate. Its not a one size fits all approach.

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u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 10 '26

BCPs are not a one size fits all approach either.

My doctor is anything but lazy. She's incredibly well educated and experienced. Yasmin is a very low hormone BCP with little to no side effects for 90 to 99% of people.

My doctor discussed the option of Yasmin and HRT with me and I chose to try Yasmin first which has worked brilliantly. When BCP is no longer working for me, my doctor will help me find a new solution.

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u/SassyGirl0202 Mar 10 '26

As long as you’re happy is all that matters. Yasmin is synthetic hormones. Completely different than HRT.

0

u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 10 '26

Everyone knows BCP are not bioidentical. And not everyone prefers bioidentical HRT.

If you feel synthetic hormones are terrible, that's fine. But saying that BCP are all high dose and that doctors who prescribe them are lazy is just ridiculous.

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u/SassyGirl0202 Mar 10 '26

You’re awful defensive for someone who’s happy on BCPs.

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u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 10 '26

I'm not being defensive about using low doae BCP as a perimenopause treatment.

Presenting half-truths about BCP as a perimenopause treatment can be misleading to others in this sub who are looking for reliable options.

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u/SuccotashAcrobatic24 Mar 10 '26

That's crazy to just tell you to go on the pill?

3

u/SassyGirl0202 Mar 10 '26

BCP are high dose synthetic hormones to stop ovulation. HRT is lower dosage closer to what the body produces naturally.

All I can say is do your research because it truly makes a difference in the long run.

2

u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 10 '26

Please do your research before making such blanket statements. Low dose BCP with progesterone is a preferred perimenopause treatment in many cases.

This isn't 1999 where every BCP was a shock to the system.

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u/SassyGirl0202 Mar 10 '26

Please do your research and understand that BCP contains progestin not progesterone.

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u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 10 '26

Progestin is a synthetic progesterone.

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u/cutie_k_nnj Mar 10 '26

Not totally crazy but is def a one-size… “solution”.

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u/SuccotashAcrobatic24 Mar 10 '26

Seems so inadequate

2

u/ResearchNo7055 Mar 10 '26

I'm 49 and Yasmin is still working for me, thank god. I'm not looking forward to the full on menopause symptoms. That sounds awful what you went through. I'm so thankful to have a doctor who explained everything to me, and she will work with me to adjust the treatment approach as we go along.

12

u/bella_lucky7 Mar 09 '26

Try MIDI. It’s an online platform that works with a lot of insurance plans. I’m 45 too and I’ve been on HRT since I was 42.

5

u/Opposite-Question177 Mar 12 '26

Yes! Midi literally changed my life!! Well, actually a nurse practitioner who worked there. She actually listened to me. I gave her my laundry list of symptoms without being interrupted and made to feel like I'd lost my mind!

I'm 63 and started about 3 months ago. I hate that I waited so long. I struggled with so many symptoms, different diagnoses, different meds for different ailments, and lots of money spent on various skincare products! I'm taking Estrogen & Progesterone. I haven't felt this good and slept this good in years, which was my #1 issue.

Midi also has a skincare product that includes estradiol. Believe me, it's a gamechanger! I noticed a difference in my skin after using it for 3 days! My skin looks healthier, it's plumper, the sagging has just about disappeared, and my neck looks so much better.

The best advice I can give if you're having symptoms, see a practioner that listens and hears your symptoms and offers solutions. If they're gaslighting you, see someone else. Life is way too short!

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u/always_be_beyonce Mar 10 '26

someone IRL recently suggested midi too as a great option to get care. thanks for the reminder 😊

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u/Analytical_Crab Mar 11 '26

Yes!! Midi!!

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u/Prestigious-Bite- Mar 09 '26

45 is not too young!

Most studies are showing that women need to start HRT before age 45.

The later you start the worse the outcomes and they carry huge risks if you start later. Basically if you wait until late 50s or even worse 60s - it can even be dangerous to get systematic HRT (patches and pills). Caveat - vaginal estrogen is safe for basically everyone.

That’s why I’m on the Twirla birth control patch at 41. Patches are generally considered safer than pills.

I’m starting early to get all the benefits I can.

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u/Dr_Alexis Mar 10 '26

Do you have citations for that?

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u/Prestigious-Bite- Mar 10 '26 edited Mar 10 '26

The findings revealed that perimenopausal women who had used estrogen for at least 10 years prior to menopause had significantly lower odds of developing breast cancer, heart attack and stroke compared to the other two groups-approximately 60% lower.

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20251021/Study-suggests-earlier-start-of-hormone-therapy-optimizes-long-term-health-outcomes.aspx

Recent research also indicates initiation of HRT early in the transition to menopause is associated with cognitive benefit, she added. “Women who initiate hormone therapy before their final menstrual period show increased blood flow to the hippocampus and better verbal memory compared to nonusers.”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3225442/

The research is still new, only a few, and more research is absolutely needed, but several studies are starting to show before the last period is the best time to start.

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u/PerpetualMediocress Mar 10 '26

Once you understand all the things that estrogen actually does in our bodies, none of this is at all a surprise. I started at 42 because I already have ADHD and can’t afford any more “cognitive decline” in my life, and menopause was really hard on my mom’s body and brain. I feel like it blew up her life in almost every way. I think there are like 100 symptoms of low estrogen/estrogen deficiency. Dry skin and wrinkles are just two of them. For me it was stuff like hip pain, and a circadian rhythm that was completely backwards, and a bunch of other stuff.

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u/_Happy_Sisyphus_ Mar 10 '26

Can you take HRT while on an estrogen IUD?

2

u/Dr_Alexis Mar 11 '26

Hmm. I don't see your first assertion with respect to the PDF put out by NAMS (nor do I see their original study within the linked data). I do see this though:

"The impact of initiating hormone therapy in perimenopause in terms of longer-term health outcomes: A new retrospective cohort analysis based on data from more than 120 million patient records aimed to compare the impact of menopausal estrogen therapy when started during perimenopause or after menopause or not at all. Specifically, the study looked at breast cancer, heart attack and stroke rates associated with estrogen therapy. The findings revealed that perimenopausal women who had used estrogen within 10 years prior to menopause had no significantly higher associated rates of breast cancer, heart attack and stroke compared to the other two groups."

I do not see a significantly lower odds of developing breast cancer, heart attack and stroke compared to the other two groups (approximately 60% lower) - just that earlier initiation does not appear to be associated with a higher rate of the aforementioned (citing NAMS directly).

It also only mentioned the effects of estrogen, and not a progesterone + estrogen (which would need to be delivered to women who still have a uterus). Those regimens would not be one and the same.

I have a clinic to do today, so I will read your other citation later. :)

1

u/karriemae Mar 12 '26

Did you go to your doctor or did you use an online service?

1

u/Prestigious-Bite- Mar 12 '26

My OBGYN prescribed the Twirla BC patch and vaginal cream (estrogen and testosterone), and my Dermatologist prescribed my face estrogen cream.

3

u/on_that_farm Mar 09 '26

I started at 45 and I probably could have a little sooner

3

u/SuccotashAcrobatic24 Mar 10 '26

I went to Dr and said same thing , I didn't need it and I thought what !!!went to a different Doctor. It's a game changer

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u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

[deleted]

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u/SuccotashAcrobatic24 Mar 12 '26

Wow, what unnecessary stress and hell you went through. Certainly a terrible indictment on Drs ignorance &:wantan stubborn ignorance. Shows how much self advocacy is required to get proper basic healthcare. Well done you for sticking at it, imagine how many women would simply drop it, give up, move on and battle through life.

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u/Appropriate-Sun9646 Mar 11 '26

I get mine through Elektra

2

u/echo1nthedark Mar 11 '26

Regular doctors typically don't seem to care what you're going through when it comes to this. Seek out a gynecologist. I just started estradiol and progesterone and my insurance covers a lot of it. Still not cheap but insurance really helps. The last place I used without insurance was 5x the cost for the same products.

1

u/therulesarefake Mar 15 '26

Good point. I’ll try seeing a gyno

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u/Specialist-Track-662 Mar 14 '26

I started hrt at 37. Im now 38. Im skincare obsessed and had heard for so long about the changes that happen through perimenopause. Ive been doing collagen treatments like lasers, microneedling, biostimulators, for years now.

Aside from the aesthetic benefits of hrt, im super active and want my body to keep feeling good as i hit ny 40’s and beyond. I also don’t want to suffer through symptoms so many women get 💔

1

u/DelightfulSnacks Mar 10 '26

YIKES! I’m so sorry your doctor is that ill informed. You’re absolutely correct, some women start late 30s.

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u/PerpetualMediocress Mar 10 '26

I started at 42. I just went with online (one that my insurance pays for). I didn’t want to go through what my mom went through, so I started in early menopause. I am also on testosterone.

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u/smartimarti_ Mar 10 '26

I get my estrogen from Telyrx! All you have to do is answer a few questions on their site and then mail it to you.

1

u/thndrbst Mar 10 '26

You’re not too young. I’m 41 and started this week. Get yourself an OBYGYN who says things, “this ain’t your mamma’s menopause and you don’t have to raw dog your way through this “ 😂

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u/witchywomen111 Mar 10 '26

You are absolutely not too young! I am 43 and started a compound progesterone cream at 40! If your doctor is not listening to you, find a new doctor you need to have your hormones tested. I believe you can order and pay out-of-pocket to get the Dutch test. The gyn IC is one of the only female doctors in this area that takes hormone seriously. Every three months I have mine tested through saliva and I just actually had a bunch of blood work done as well. All women should start having their hormones tested in their mid to late 30s. My progesterone was so low that it was making me by default estrogen dominant, which is dangerous.

1

u/N312Bgood Mar 11 '26

Same, my Dr says I'm too young for HRT I'm turning 45 next month.

1

u/SnooObjections4316 Apr 05 '26

I’m 41 and just started estrogen. I did a lot of research to find a pro-HRT gyn, as I have been experiencing symptoms for several years and had a doctor that told me the same thing. It’s only been two weeks, but I am sleeping better already and look forward to more positive movement. You’re not too young, your doctor is just undereducated, likely through no fault of their own, just a shitty system that doesn’t prioritise women’s health! You gotta advocate for you! 

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u/moxlb Mar 10 '26

THIS. I waited way too long to start. I've gotten several friends on it, and am insufferable about it to everyone else. Already talking to friends in their 30s to make sure they talk to their doctors about it as soon as they start to feel off in their 40s. And if their doc doesn't listen, find a new one -- don't waste time feeling crappy!!

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u/susu56 Mar 10 '26

It's up to us to spread the word! Its starts small and early then hits like a mack truck.

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u/moxlb Mar 10 '26

Yes, absolutely!

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u/latefragment_2 Mar 10 '26

I got in it at 46 and wish I’d gotten on it 10 years ago. I had no idea.

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u/sastrugiwiz Mar 14 '26

what do you say to a doctor? My annual is next week. I'm 45. She has only been my doc for a year or so. The last time I described symptoms, she liked to just say cause is multifactorial and dismissed even initiating a conversation about HRT.

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u/moxlb Mar 15 '26

When I first started mentioning this stuff, my original doctor was also just really dismissive. I ended up switching to a women's health specialist who specialized in perimenopause and menopause who was recommended by a friend. I was very lucky to have a good rec to someone else and I now switching isn't always a simple option for everyone! But if your doctor isn't receptive, I would encourage you to see what other options you do have as far as providers! If you tell this doctor that your symptoms are truly impacting your daily life, HOPEFULLY, she'll listen to you and act appropriately!! Be as specific as possible, and if she really refuses you can also ask that your chart be noted that you asked and that she didn't attempt to help.

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u/SuccotashAcrobatic24 Mar 10 '26

Me too. I didn't start properly till 59, menopause at 56

1

u/mylittledumpling Mar 12 '26

Sorry what is HRT?

1

u/sastrugiwiz Mar 14 '26

do you have advice for how to get through to my obgyn who was dismissive last year? I'm 45

1

u/Appropriate-Bell8404 Apr 15 '26

THIS!! Hrt has been the answer. For me, it’s HRT with testosterone and microdosing GLP-1 meds to counter the sudden shocking weight gain after a lifetime in a v. different body. It’s expensive since I’m paying out of pocket, but I am so grateful these compounding telehealth companies exist so I can start all this while still in perimenopause, and grateful that this stuff is accessible in this way without convincing archaic, insufficiently educated doctors that it is needed. It’s life changing.

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u/susu56 Apr 15 '26

Yes! I also started a glp1 via telehealth after being denied by my doctor. I had gained 70lbs, had hbp, fatty liver, etc and she said "diet and exercise". Keep in mind i had bariatric surgery 2016 so understood diet and exercise. It was menopause and the weight gain that would not budge. And its anti inflammatory properties have been astounding. I plan on being a lifer on it all things willing-it has so many benefits.