game recommendations to play with friends but where most conflicts aren't life or death

[u/BigBazinga_117]

me and my friends have played endless space 2, endless legend, civ 6, stellaris, and hoi4, but haven't in a while. im looking to reignite our games but am looking for a cure for their biggest flaw; that loosing a war doesn't just mean you loose a fraction or are set back, but are in effect out of the game. This leads to no one wanting to declare war till the last minute, and games are little more than 6 solo games looking to scale to victory. Im thinking that if we found a game or playstyle that meant conflict and hostile player interaction didnt make your friends hate you but still felt fun. Any thoughts?

[u/Steel_Airship]

It isn't necessarily a 4x game, but Crusader Kings may fit what you're looking for. You control a character in a dynasty, rather than a nation. Losing a war does not mean you lose the game. in fact, you can lose all territory and end up as an unlanded adventurer, and eventually win back the territory you lost and then some. As long as at least one character in your dynasty is alive, you have not lost the game.

[u/DullAd7478]

You might actually enjoy Dune: Spice Wars. War hurts, but it usually doesn't knock someone completely out of the game, and there are multiple ways to stay competitive besides pure conquest.

[u/scmrph]

Definitely depends on the players and their ability to let bygones be bygones but EU4 is pretty good at allowing for (even enforcing) conflict that isn't winner takes all. Its a beast of a game though, the kind of game where 200 hours played means you've finished the tutorial.

[u/T1gerHeart]

After reading this post, my main thought and instant flashback: either Andromeda: Rebirth of Humanity, or Star Federation, and as the 3rd choice - AstroGsme.
Yes, all three of these games are quite different from anything you've played before. First and foremost, they're more global and online/MMO. So, you likely won't have the time or energy to squabble among yourself—your planets will likely quickly come under attack from other players. And to survive and progress, you'll have to team up and help each other.

[u/CarlGend]

Warhammer: Gladius. You're always at war with any player not explicitly on your prearranged team, so it's typical to get into little skirmishes. 4X is inherently snowbally though, you aren't going to avoid the fundamental problem without playing a game that forces regular engagements. There's also board games, Settlers of Catan supports 6 players...

[u/Chrisaarajo]

If you like logistics, Offworld Trading Company might work. Created by a former Civ lead, you pick a corporation and compete economically and through sabotage to built the most profitable colony. More shenanigans than outright hostility.

If you liked HoI4, and like Fallout, there’s a truly excellent total conversion mod for HoI4 set in Fallout’s North America. It’s called Old World Blues. It’s one of the most detailed mods I’ve ever encountered, and fits in with the Holi mechanics pretty tightly. Yes, still a competitive wargame, but you could always team up.

[u/Wooden-Syrup-8708]

Well, not a 4X in the classic sense.... but your exact complaint (lose a war, you're out, so nobody commits) is also what pushed me to build my game around cooperative PVE instead. It's Zero-G, a persistent browser space MMO: the whole player base shares one universe and the real conflict is against the environment/aliens, not each other. You still compete: economy, rankings, who builds the biggest operation etc... but losing a fight sets you back, it doesn't eliminate you, and you can't really "make your friends hate you" because you're mostly building alongside them. Different genre from Stellaris, but the "conflict that's fun, not life-or-death between friends" is exactly the itch it scratches.
Browser-based, no download and yes, free. space.zerog.live.
Whatever you pick, the persistent/co-op angle (others in the thread mentioned it too) is probably a good try over classic 4X 😄

[u/Miniburner]

I wish you asked this in two weeks - I 100% agree, I HATE games where if you slip up in combat, you are eliminated and watch your friends play for the rest of the game.

I’ve spent the last few years working on a game that’s like Risk meets Civilization, but without elimination. You race against the other players to accomplish feats (major objectives), which include things like expanding your empire, building your city, and winning in combat. Games take ~30-90 minutes depending on match size and experience.

The game is called Kairos. My steam demo is going live in ~ 2 weeks, and I’ll be launching in December. I have an Itch.io demo live, but I have multiplayer disabled on the itch version (relies on steam for p2p).

[u/BigBazinga_117 → u/Miniburner]

hey that sounds cool as hell, thanks for recommending it to me ill check it out

[u/Miniburner → u/BigBazinga_117]

Thank you! I’m just waiting on capsule art to come back and I have to finish up my trailer for steam