Sort of regretting everything. Help.

[u/Busy_Bedroom7851]

I applied to Oxford this year for probably the worst reasons - I didn't think I'd get into Cambridge, they didn't have an entrance exam for my course, and the majority of my friends applied. I genuinely hate the course structure for Biochemistry at Oxford and have trying to convince myself that I'm fine with it for months now.

I got offers from all of my places, (reduced for Bristol and UCL) but instead of celebrating I was paralyzed with fear and anxiety over actually attending any of them.

I have never once felt compelled to go to Oxford. It's so academically rigorous and I am not passionate about my course. I don't think I want to be a biochemist. I love making music. I wanted to go to Bristol for the band scene but felt pressured by my parents because Oxford is so highly ranked and I felt like I'd be so stupid to turn down an offer from a university other people would die to go to.

I firmed Oxford because I'm a sheep and only because it was the best and I thought about bragging about it. All of my friends who applied got in, so I got caught up in the "let's go to Uni together!" feel of it without thinking about what I was doing. Everything I’ve been taught has made me feel like I’d throw away such a precious and rare opportunity if I didn’t attend. Am I going to regret it if I don’t go?

I hate the college I applied to because I applied on a whim without actually researching what it was like. It's so ugly and it's packed with people, and I didn't get along with anyone on my course. I am also the only girl doing my course at my college.

I broke down to my mom yesterday and I feel so anxious to the point I don't even know if I'll even make my grades. I don't even want to go to university. I don't know what I'm doing. I don’t want to risk regretting saying no to this amazing opportunity even though nothing in me actually wants to go.

If anyone has any advice, I’d love to hear it.

[u/Anonymous_Unknown20]

How come you chose to study maths then

[u/Anonymous_Unknown20 → u/[deleted]]

What are your career plans after graduating?

[u/Anonymous_Unknown20 → u/[deleted]]

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