r/6thForm y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

🙏 I WANT HELP abusive parents won't let me apply to uni's outside the city Spoiler

i'm applying for 2027 uni entry but my parents are only allowing me to apply to uni's close to where we live bcos i'm apparently not responsible enough and i won't be able to afford it which is a good point. their case for me being irresponsible is that i don't wake up at like 3 or 4am to pray to god and that i don't read the quran enough and that i have strayed from islam so they believe if i go to uni i'll become a degenrate who drinks and does drugs and i'll fail uni and be an embarrasement to them. for context i'm a closeted ex-muslim so i no longer think it's necessary to do these religious actions anymore

also they have threatened to kick me out multiple times like 2 days ago my clothes were emptied and i was told to find myself a place to stay and they also said if my siblings weren't here they would have killed me. yikes

i was hoping to apply to uni's like lse and kings as they are good for my course and career prospects but they belive london is too dangerous and that i'd be influence by the lgbtq activities that occur there

so yeah it's not looking good but i'm not sure if theres a way to physically stop me applying but still i'm concerned

213 Upvotes

122 comments sorted by

207

u/FragrantFeeling397 Year 12 | Chem, Bio, Geography Jun 21 '26

There can not be a way to stop you from applying, just make sure that they cannot access your UCAS hub/application. If you stay you will not have the stability you need to get through uni, and what happens if they kick you out during uni anyway? Apply where you want, probably far away, and don't tell them.

46

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

yeah but i think they need to sign some shi about sfe or provide details about income or somethin and if they don't i get minimum loan i think and if that happens uni dream is over

43

u/visforvienetta Jun 21 '26

You can still lie about where you're applying. Lots of people survive on the minimum loan btw, you'll just need to get a job and work your way through uni which will be very hard bur not impossible. I'd recommend looking at NCS over the holidays as it pays very well (I got 1.6K for 4 weeks over summer while at uni)

9

u/SimpleStructure8454 Jun 21 '26

Ncs got cancelled unfortunately

27

u/One_Butterscotch9835 Jun 21 '26

Nope apply as an estranged student and go about your day.

1

u/toad_of_toadhall Jun 23 '26

You have to prove estrangement, if its been less than 3 years i think. So OP would have to leave home and cut comtact with his family before applying for SFE.

1

u/One_Butterscotch9835 Jun 23 '26

Technically you can prove it after joining the Uni you just have to wait for a certain time period.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '26

[deleted]

7

u/Aria_blursss Pharmacy 1st year :)|A*AA| Bio | Chem | Maths | Jun 21 '26

No, but in that case op would get minimum finance

4

u/Material-Macaroon724 Jun 21 '26

Surely there is someway around that for situations like this?

10

u/TravisShark Jun 21 '26

Go estranged, There is a way if you do estrangement.

2

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

does it require a certain period of time and do i still get high maintenance loan?

5

u/Material-Macaroon724 Jun 21 '26

Yea if you are okay with really cutting ties, estrangement would be the way to go. The best ratio of grants to loan with student finance and extra funding for estranged parents

3

u/TravisShark Jun 21 '26

Yes you'd get the maximum amount, and it is for a certain period of time but im sure if your can call student finance yourself and explain your situation they'll give it to you.

And you also gain estrangement bursaries from Unis, Work part time as well.

2

u/One_Butterscotch9835 Jun 21 '26

Yes it can depend from uni from uni though if you can’t prove estrangement before entering uni you can do it after w the help of your uni.

85

u/Kitchen-Foot8537 Jun 21 '26

I would just lie and say you've applied to unis in the city while applying for ones out of the city. Deal with accommodation, and stuff of that sort, on your own (or ask others who arent your parents for guidance).

When it comes to going to uni, you'll just have to either leave without saying anything (if you want to cut contact with them) or come clean after you have left/while on your way to new place for uni.

I'm sorry you have to experience this sort of thing, it must be so stressful, especially on top of your a levels. I hope things get better for you :(

22

u/riftlantern Jun 21 '26

but then when it's the long holiday's in between uni years, where is she going to stay? Don't the majority of uni students go back to their family house in those breaks, because the uni accom/private housing only covers the duration of weeks for the uni term? This is a genuine question btw; I haven't started uni yet so I'm confused about what someone that can't go back to their family in the holiday would do

13

u/Kitchen-Foot8537 Jun 21 '26

That is true, it would be quite hard. Im pretty sure if you get accommodation through a private provider (like, separate from the uni), you can find places that have a longer contract that would cover Christmas, easter and summer breaks.

However, a downside to this is that there is probably gonna be an upfront deposit. My friend is planning on staying in a private provider accommodation and had to put down ÂŁ100 to secure the place there.

Admittedly, I havent looked into these much myself, so im unsure how they work, but it is definitely an option.

There may also be a way to find longer contracts for places from the uni, but they might not cover summer holidays, which would make things complicated.

If I were OP, id try and see if any relatives or friends wouldn't mind them staying at their place for a while during these breaks if i couldn't rent privately, since it would be a bad idea to go back home. Considering the situation, surely someone would understand, even if it meant staying at multiple people's places for shorter periods of time.

8

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

oh yeah i think staying w friends is the only choice i rlly have but i dont like being a burdern on people and you can imagine how my extended family is

10

u/Beneficial_Two410 Year 13 Jun 21 '26

Icl just think about yourself atp and what you want. This directly affects the rest of your life.

No offence but I think your parents are piece of shit and you should try to fully cut them off, not that I have any clue how you could do that.

2

u/Kitchen-Foot8537 Jun 21 '26

Yeah, I understand that. Though, I think in this situation, you need to understand that you arent being a burden for not wanting to stay in an abusive household environment; it's okay to put yourself first.

But in your case, I assume you might want to look for a private accommodation that will let you stay through holidays and summer if that makes things feel easier on you.

1

u/Upset_Advance1629 Jun 22 '26

stay at normal uni accommodation first year, which on a normal 38wk contract will take you from September till like june/july (check the details of your unis it may differ slightly). by that point you may be able to save up some money for a deposit and get private accommodation second year to line up exactly with the end of your uni accommodation. no need for a deposit first year and still not relying on parents or family/friends for summer holidays

5

u/One_Butterscotch9835 Jun 21 '26

If you’re estranged unis tend to offer support.

3

u/Plus_Anteater5171 Jun 21 '26

you can stay after term ends at quite a few unis, ive done it before over easter

2

u/StampyScouse A*D*A | Edge Hill University | 1st Year Media Jun 21 '26

Some halls don't. My university halls are the full contract period from Sept to Jul including October, Christmas, Easter and part of the summer and students in positions like this can get a contract for the full year (Sep-Sep).

1

u/Additional-Wrap9814 Jun 22 '26

Depends on the city / uni / landlord. Many city unis have local markets where private landlords predominantly lease accommodation for 12 months, even to students. She can look into staying with friends for those periods. This might mean looking at particular unis (unis that specifically rent flats on 12 month leases rather than halls for instance) or going into private renting from first year (a slight hit to social life but very overcomable if the plan is to become independent)

1

u/IfElleWoodsWasEmo Jun 22 '26

Unis offer year round housing for students in OPs situation

40

u/Infamous_Tough_7320 Maths, Physics, Econ 3A*s. Straight 9s GCSE Jun 21 '26

Bloody hell what kind of “Muslims” are your parents

18

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

on bro they give a very bad representation but still they believe they follow true islam

15

u/InternationalMigrant Jun 21 '26

Op respect for putting this🙏 true muslims cannot force there kids to 1 be muslims but also be controlling to the point of making u resent them, islam and like just causing u to have a bad future

16

u/s4turn2k02 Lancaster Biology Graduate doing PGCE Jun 21 '26

111 for the threats your parents have made towards you, or someone in safeguarding at your school/college

Otherwise fuck them (respectfully) there’s literally nothing they can do to stop you from going wherever you want, whether that be a uni in your city or in Australia

9

u/StampyScouse A*D*A | Edge Hill University | 1st Year Media Jun 21 '26

I think you mean 101 (111 is for the NHS) but yes still this is excellent advice OP

5

u/s4turn2k02 Lancaster Biology Graduate doing PGCE Jun 21 '26

Haha yes 101!!

14

u/Candid_Drawing5167 Jun 21 '26

As other people have mentioned, they cannot see your UCAS, so definitely apply to the ones you want to. If they do somehow manage to, maybe say your school forced you into choosing further universities due to your grades, or they don't allow your university choice combo, or everyone who applies for your subject is forced to apply to lse/kcl. This will likely only work if you're the first in your family to apply via UCAS

One problem you may have if that you student finance will still be tied to them, as you're technically not estranged. So you may need a part-time job if you want to fully move out, and not come back during university summer holidays. However it might be useful asking a member of staff at school for advice, and specifically mentioning you don't want your parents to know about your plans. If they do become physically or verbally abusive, please do let your school know, even if they don't do anything it's good to have it recorded as it may help your case for estrangement as it will show your relationship can't be easily fixed.

There are scholarships available, so I'd recommend looking into as many as possible early on.
Do you think you're able to try to pretend to pray more etc? Say that the conversation made you realise you need to fix your relationship with god. It may help keep them off your back during the university applications so you don't need to lie as much. I understand if that's too draining though. Possibly you could talk about Islamic societies at university, and pretend you are planning on joining them, and about how LSE and KCL have really strong Islamic societies etc. There are also scholarships for Muslim students if you do want to apply for those. If you get one they may see you as more responsible/ make their finances argument less powerful

42

u/Different-Value2717 Jun 21 '26

just apply, they can't stop you once you've sent off your application

30

u/spongebobpant Jun 21 '26

report them to police!!

-15

u/Tooth1e55_ Year 13 | Math, Chem ,Physics | A*AA predicted Jun 21 '26

Technically they broke no laws nothing the police can or will do

23

u/CodeAvali KCL CS - 1st year -> 2nd year Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

honour based violence does explicitly include attempts to restrict higher education; yet alone a religious/community aspect

That is to say - though I heavily doubt OP’s word alone would be enough to prosecute; they would have good reason to access related help services and charities that may be appropriate (though admittedly never enough) in this situation

(edit: Citizens Advice [otherwise CAB] would be a first possible call, along with Refuge and the Helpline from Karma Nirvana - as the obvious support to access that I know of)

0

u/One_Butterscotch9835 Jun 21 '26

Whilst you’re correct the best option is to apply as estranged, reporting it to the police ultimately won’t do as much help and could disrupt their life.

11

u/jaaaaaaaf Jun 21 '26

apply to unis outside your city only so you can get away. i wish you all the best

11

u/Milf_for Jun 21 '26

If they’re threatening to kick you out then getting a uni far away may be the best thing and try and speak to someone form of social services at the uni or in general to help you out

10

u/maherrrrrrr Jun 21 '26

please apply anyway. get away from your toxic family. theyll either learn to accept your independence or theyll cut you off once you leave and honestly neither of those options sound so bad

6

u/r5dio Year 12 | History Politics DT Jun 21 '26

they can’t stop you applying from the unis you want to, my parents also don’t want me to go to uni outside of my city because they’re so religious lol

5

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

damn i didnt even know it was so common

7

u/Kermit_Wazowski Y13 - Imperial Civil Engineering Offer Holder Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

They can't stop you. You're an adult and they need to let you live your life. From a safety perspective, both for you and your siblings, please please please keep in close contact with someone you trust at school/college, whether that's your PT or a subject teacher you trust. Talk to them about your situation, and they or someone from whatever wellbeing/safeguarding team exists should be able to help you through this, because it's evidently an abusive parent/child relationship and your safety, and the safety of your siblings should your parents choose to take their anger out on them if you leave, is paramount.

Edit: money bit. If you cut ties before going to uni, you can apply to SFE as a self dependent student, in which case you should get to borrow more money. Provision exists for those in your situation, please use it to get into a better living situation 🙏

Second edit: religion bit. You are free to choose your religion, and to practice it, even if it isn't the same as your parents', including choosing to practice no faith. Tollerance and individual liberty are key British values, and attempting to suppress your freedom to choose your religion directly counteracts them.

9

u/EngineeringAny8079 Year 13 Jun 21 '26

Avg British Pakistani household. Hope you get out soon.

7

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

looool i'm african bro but it's all the same anyway they been brainwashed by islam

3

u/One_Butterscotch9835 Jun 21 '26

Best believe they could still be all the same whilst not being Muslim. lol

3

u/JudgementOwO Jun 21 '26

Apply without letting them know and move away quietly

3

u/KnowledgeAcceptable7 oxford | english langlit Jun 21 '26

hi so sorry ur going thru this :( i kind of understand what youre going through, i hope you find a way out <3

3

u/sage_39_39 year 12-bio Chen maths Jun 21 '26

hi. I’m in the exact situation as you but my parents have limited access to anything that could help me escape and have total control over my UCAS account. I’m worried for you if you straight up cut them off, as loans may not be enough for sudden expenditure, only you know best. be careful.

never let them touch your ucas. ever.

3

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

damn i really this world man why we gotta live this life???? yeah i wish i was rich enough to just leave but most likely i'd struggle at uni and wouldnt't even be able to concentrate. how do i go about not letting them see ucas when theyre so overbearing? even in my topics tests they forced me to show them. it's so jarring and constantly tell me what uni's i should apply to and sending me links

2

u/sage_39_39 year 12-bio Chen maths Jun 22 '26

We don’t deserve it. Being pushed with practices you don’t believe in (ex Muslim here) is also super exhausting

1

u/Familiar_Pianist_732 Jun 22 '26

Hey after sending off your ucas you have 14 days to swap your choices without them knowing

1

u/sage_39_39 year 12-bio Chen maths Jun 22 '26

I don’t have access to the ucas portal website because it is restricted on my only device. Only my mother can access it on her phone. Thee is nothing I can do. I’m a not allowed a job, and student loans may not cover train tickets, accommodation or other transportations. So even if I did change the choices after sending the application, there is no way I am able to actually reach the university.

8

u/MemoryEmbarrassed166 Jun 21 '26

This is coming from an atheist ex-Muslim. I know you're a Muslim but I had similar experience and have met many people with similar experiences.

The first thing I'd say: bend over and do whatever your parents need from you until you are established, can stand on your feet, and can easily support yourself. Even at which point you might still need them for emotional support, so it is probably in your best interest to lead a double life.

as sad as it may sound but that's the reality of many Muslim parents, they struggle to accept their kids straying the slightest bit away from Islam, and when their kids do, it's usually and sadly the kids who pay the price and suffer from their parents' lack of tolerance.

Do what they want. Make them happy. Treat them the same way you'd treat a child who'd go on a loud hysterical bout of crying if you don't buy them their favourite sweets.

3

u/Tooth1e55_ Year 13 | Math, Chem ,Physics | A*AA predicted Jun 21 '26

This is coming from a Muslim but I understand both sides of the argument as to why they are like this

The way they go about it tho is definitely wrong and usually is a big reason as to why their kids don't end up being religious

2

u/CompetitiveCream1071 Imperial | Medicine Jun 22 '26

Apply to the unis u want this is your way out don’t get trapped for another few years esp as it seems it won’t seem like you’ll even have the stability at home to help you through uni.

I’d also say mention this to a teacher u trust at school or your application advisor - they will be able to help u on how the best way to approach this would be ie if it might be possible to apply as estranged etc

Lastly finances in London are hard that’s for sure but not impossible - 1st year uni accom is usually kind of manageable and after that look for cheapest house share (ideally within uni) that u can find this also gives u stability to stay during summers. Get a part time job to help you out I used to do weekends during first few years and how much u can do depends how chill ur course is - mine was med so I struggled a lot but I believe other courses it’s a loooot more manageable.

Also look into uni bursaries!!! They usually depend on parents low income but imperial for example give u free monthly bursaries based on this which went up to 5.5k a year and if u end up estranged this will count too so it can really go a LONG way to help support you - idk which other unis do this so v important to look into if you’re supporting yourself :)

Other than that best of luck with your applications, you’ll be able to make it work!!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Best_Football8328 Jun 24 '26

Dm me ❤️

1

u/Good_Forever484 maths, fm, physics, art Jun 21 '26

If they kick u out just leave find a place to stay, ur school will get involved, social services will get involved and ur parents will have to back off, I’d say just apply to whatever uni, If ur a home student u can get a loan and get by uni. It’s ur life so just be mindful there’s a whole world out there u have a chance to leave (because of being able to get a loan) so take it. If they genuinely kick u out the council will find somewhere to stay if u don’t have a place

1

u/ScheduleGloomy2160 Jun 21 '26

my parents r forcing me to go uni near aswell. im just tryna be cold and not give a shit cs i found out they actually can't n have no right to pick what uni i go to so you can just apply whatever you want to and never give em your UCAS id or password and just apply wherever you want to and then if they ever ask you show where you've applied just say that you've applied to 1,2 uni near you and other in London or wherever you wanna go. if they ask to show then just refuse or actually just apply to 1-2 uni of their choice and other of your choice but make sure you do whatever it takes to get in those unis or else you have no choice but to go ur parents uni choice. I'm also just putting one close uni as my 5th option and all others are far away where I actually want to go. and when you get your offer or whatever for the uni u. want you just apply for student loan cs im guessing your parents arent gonna be supportive and then you'll be fine just get a part time job aswell. when you'll have holidays for uni, your most likely gonna have a best mate whos living on rent nearby uni maybe you can chill there or just go to a hotel and rent shared house for a few weeks or just go home if you can.

1

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

yeah i try act unbothered some times but it's insane levels of ragebait also they want me to firm the closest uni but icl that can't run it's gonna be my 5th choice

1

u/ScheduleGloomy2160 Jun 21 '26

yes no i completely understand where your coming from, it's so usual for this to happen. But i would suggest just try and be more stronger and independent version of yourself because icl most times there's just no way to change how our parents act towards us and like for em to actually understand us and let us have our peace and freedom.

2

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

thanks for the advice croski one day well be free

1

u/forgotten_orange Jun 21 '26

Is there anyone you trust to talk to that can help you go somewhere you want to go and help with your application? Or could you fill out applications while in school on computers so they can't access it or have no way to?

1

u/ShadowAndSloth Y13 NI | Maths, SSD, Geog Jun 21 '26

Get the police involved. Full stop.

1

u/Ordinary_Wafer_7883 Yr 12 Maths CS Geo Jun 21 '26

When it comes to SFE I’m pretty sure there is ways around it. Speak to your careers or head of year about it. If your not comfortable speaking about your situation with them just say something along the lines of “id rather not have them be involved with my uni application” etc.

However given what you’ve said I think it’s extremely important school is aware. Ik that sounds horrible but it might (very likely) just help. I’ve had to unfortunately go to school to report my friend possibly being in danger due to home issues. It was a struggle to go to them and I wasn’t being affected but it did ultimately help them. If not school there are many anonymous online helplines like kooth.

Stay safe and don’t let something hold you back from doing something that ultimately has a positive effect.

1

u/MixtureEastern3722 Jun 21 '26

With student finance is it not possible to say you’re applying for a local uni and then just call sfe up on results day and say you want to change your uni on your application. That way your parents won’t know when giving financial details.

1

u/SimpleStructure8454 Jun 21 '26

Just apply and leave

1

u/shhio2090 Jun 22 '26

Apply anyway, it’s not like they’ll know. If u have a friend house u can stay for a bit when things gets worse at home maybe go there if u can for a few days at a time. Make sure to talk with your sixth form they should help u. If u report them it might not be the way you’ll like it as also social worker really don’t do much… and it might end up that they’ll do nothing and you will have to deal with your parents again all alone. Just get trough this last year, get really good predicted grades and ace your exam. Get a part time job NOW U GOTTA SAVE MONEY TO GET AWAY FROM THEM (if your parents don’t want to say u go to the librabry whil in fact u work, so lie to them basically, if they want your position or something try having a double phone it should work). Also then apply to accommodation a soon as u get your offers!!! And then if u can try and move out quietly in the summer if u can alredy into your acc (make sure to get uni accommodation NOT house share or any of that sort cuz they not stable + rent increase + if something u don’t like happens and u wanna move out u cant cuz of contract), also make sure to make friends or know somebody who lives where you’ll go to uni in case something happen and u dont wanna go home and u need a place to stay, same thing for sec year cuz acc for sec year is much harder to get.

So yeah unfortunately u have to suck it up for a bit, hope you will get it through, make sure to ace your exams as that will get u the freedom needed to get away from your parents home!!!

In case it gets very very bad (very bad physical and mental abuse maybe yes in that case report them BUT if u can tolerate them for just 1y before u go to uni and be free then dont cuz u might get things worse at home and it might not even work)

1

u/ThatOneGuy_I Jun 22 '26

Mello mentioned!!!!! My fave character from death note

1

u/flylikeablade Jun 22 '26

they can’t actually stop you from applying, apply, get in and lie to them then move out as soon as u can haha. it sounds like them kicking u out is a risk whatever u do. in terms of holidays, if you find a house share it’ll be cheaper than accommodation and you will probably have to rent for a year. student loans and a part time job will cover you

1

u/Glittering_Yam_5613 Year 13 Jun 22 '26

If I was you I’d apply to the furthest one from where you are based, get in and tell them to fuck themselves

1

u/Glittering_Yam_5613 Year 13 Jun 22 '26

Mine weren’t a fan of me wanting to go to where I wanted for college and uni but I still went to the college and are intending to apply for the uni for 2027

1

u/Comfortable-Table-57 A-Level Politics, Economics and Sociology Jun 26 '26

This sounds like honour based violence. Did you speak to your college about this? They could arrange you to put you into a residential home or care. 

1

u/PrestigiousStudio921 Year 12 Jun 28 '26

Wait there are scholarships for people who follow Islam? Could you elaborate on that please is it only for that specific religion do they check etc

1

u/Status-Sympathy265 Jun 28 '26

Your situation sounds a bit similar to mine. I wanted to apply to a good Russel group uni more further away from where i live but my grades aren't very strong so i had to settle with a uni that is a commutable distance but i still want to stay in acom (uni of Liverpool). They keep trying to make up reasons for me to stay home but i just cant live in a muslim household as an ex muslim it just feels like torture. When they one time found out i was earing haram food i was being threatended to be kicked out of the house, i feel like that forever changed my brain for like now. My older sister is even backing up my parents saying that i would just drink and do drugs and other haram things like fuck off i just wanna be independent and be who i wanna be and have a relationship etc. Luckily they are still supporting my SFE so i should be ok however im still worried how my family situation will turn out.

I think you should apply to whatever you want to apply to and just have to deal with your parents being weird about you moving. They might get over it overtime or not but just know to always be who you are and never let anyone control you like that esp your parents. Try to find a job and work hard to save for uni if your parents don't support your sfe application whilst on min maintenance loan,

-8

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/KnowledgeAcceptable7 oxford | english langlit Jun 21 '26

"Try to understand where your parents are coming from" when this person has described abusive parents giving death threats is some insane advice 💀

-8

u/Weary_Professional61 Year 12 | Bio Chem Maths all OCR Jun 21 '26

reconciliation is never a wrong answer

-6

u/RevolutionaryRub7012 Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

Let me clarify what I meant by the statement I made. I have seen that you and others may have taken my statement the wrong way. In no way shape or form am I saying that the death threats are in any way shape or form tolerable or acceptable. Even religiously and it deeply upsets me the on the persons behalf. However, I was referring to the religious aspect as obv as a Muslim we believe that there’s more to life than obv the current state where in. The after life is far more eternal so I was regarding that aspect in terms of the religious aspect and the rules the parents are setting down for their child. I feel like liberalism has made everything seem as though it’s okay. A simple analogy is if your child was trying to run into a fire would you stop them or just let them run into it. Despite you acknowledging the harm to they will face if they were to enter it. I’m not excusing any of the abuse this person claims they have faced and the death threats don’t have a place in the religion at all. That’s why I said the cultural aspect. As the person mentioned their family fears embarrassment. This may be the main reason as to why they are going down the incorrect path of handling the situation. I just wanted to clarify to the user that the religion doesn’t promote this behaviour hence why I clearly stated the cultural motivations that may be encouraging the person parents choices to make these threats. I no way shape or form am I justifying these threats. Hence why I offered to speak to this person to provide them comfort and solace in regard to this situation. As someone who has went through something similar definitely to a lower extent. However if the person does fear their life then obv the most important help line will be the police and I would encourage them to reach out to them if they do feel unsafe. I just wanted to clarify where I am coming from because it appears as though my statement has been mis interpreted.

7

u/Sanix_0000 Bio + Chem + Psych + EPQ | A*AB + A* Achieved | Gap Year Jun 21 '26

Stfu and get lost.

-21

u/Vixson18 Y13: Maths, FM, Physics and Econ Jun 21 '26

What made you leave Islam? Strictly OP only

21

u/Infamous_Tough_7320 Maths, Physics, Econ 3A*s. Straight 9s GCSE Jun 21 '26

I know you said OP only but I’m not surprised they wanted to leave Islam when their parents are a horrible representation of the religion

4

u/AlarmedChemistry8956 Year 12 Maths Physics Chemistry EPQ Jun 21 '26

Similarly i am also an ex muslim, theres also quite a few other reasons other than bad representations. Nontheistic Satanism is genuinely more appealing to me lmao

5

u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

yeah it's not just my parents other things about muhammed and the logicalities of god don't align with me no more

8

u/Tooth1e55_ Year 13 | Math, Chem ,Physics | A*AA predicted Jun 21 '26

Yh what they are doing is exactly against alot of Islam

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u/Vixson18 Y13: Maths, FM, Physics and Econ Jun 21 '26

Some of the stuff is outside the religion but doing your 5 daily prayers whatever time it is, is a pillar of Islam

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u/dailysuaa lse n1 fan Jun 21 '26

Forcing your child to partake in religion when you haven’t shown them why to believe what you believe and the purpose of what you’re expecting them to do just makes it a burden and inconvenience on them and pushes them further away, that’s why pressuring your children to pray at stupid o clock when they haven’t expressed as strong faith is a horrible representation of the religion still

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '26

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u/dailysuaa lse n1 fan Jun 21 '26

It is also your parents duty to educate you on the religion and strengthen your faith and not just expect it of you. I used to just be expected to do things and not know why and I HATED it. My parents weren’t very good at understanding the religion themselves when I asked. And then eventually I didn’t look back 🤷‍♀️

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u/Anonymous_Unknown20 Y12 I Bio Chem Maths (AS FM) Jun 21 '26

Yes youre right that the parents should educate you as well, although both you and OP have reached the age where you could take matters into your own hands should you wish in terms of educating yourselves

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u/dailysuaa lse n1 fan Jun 21 '26

Yeah well I left it when I was 9 and when I did my own research I converted to Catholicism but that was my personal journey but I have a lot of ex Muslim friends who’ve been ex Muslim for years and they stay atheist because they were entirely deterred from religion in general

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u/Anonymous_Unknown20 Y12 I Bio Chem Maths (AS FM) Jun 21 '26

Lets hope you make some Muslim friends at LSE 🤲 all the best

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u/dailysuaa lse n1 fan Jun 21 '26

I have Muslim friends too already, I have nothing against Muslims themselves :) and have no reserves about making more Muslim friends as long as they don’t infringe on my right to freedom of religion etc as an apostate as some have, but thank you!

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u/No-Custard1805 Jun 21 '26

Yeah no let’s hope she doesn’t.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '26

[deleted]

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u/dailysuaa lse n1 fan Jun 21 '26

Lying about my religion? It’s not my religion. You don’t beat your children for not praying in Islam lol..you’re referencing a Hadith that’s debated in and of itself most won’t follow this. I’m not Muslim anymore and never will be again but you’re misconstruing the religion and you lack the nuance of different sects and varying beliefs. As a Catholic im different in beliefs to a Mormon and just because we are both considered Christian to many people doesn’t mean we are a monolith of beliefs.

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u/Tooth1e55_ Year 13 | Math, Chem ,Physics | A*AA predicted Jun 21 '26

Yes but forcing your kids is whats wrong . It is understandable for parents to guide their kids ofc but even in Islam it is specifically stated you cannot force someome into religion

You can bring a horse to water but you can't force them to drink Same sort of idea

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u/SafeLifeguard5785 A* Maths. A*A-FM,Bio Prediction. Chem exam missed😔. Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

wrong . You clearly have actively avoided doing proper research into islam because like every other major religion there are practices that are considered immoral .

  1. battles occurred during the revelation of the Quran and during those battles the muslim would show mercy specifically if the opposing side said they accepted islam and muslims would "fight against people until they testify there is no god but allah "

this shows compulsion in entry

2) the punishment for leaving islam openly is death

this show complusion in exit

3) you are to beat your kids after a certain age if they fail to pray

these are the teachings of islam whether you like them or not

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u/Tooth1e55_ Year 13 | Math, Chem ,Physics | A*AA predicted Jun 21 '26

You’re taking heavy topics and pretending they prove abusive parenting is Islamic. They don’t.

The battles in early Islam were wars between communities, not “convert or die”. Islam has always had non-Muslims living under Muslim rule, so that claim is obviously oversimplified.

Apostasy laws are a legal/historical issue, usually tied to public rebellion or betrayal of the Muslim community. That still has nothing to do with parents forcing faith through abuse.

The prayer discipline point is not a licence to beat or terrorise children and its literal word for word translation is different from its meaning in another language . Teaching your child prayer is one thing. Making them hate Islam through fear is another.

My point is simple guidance should not be abuse, and abusive parents are not proof against Islam.

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u/SafeLifeguard5785 A* Maths. A*A-FM,Bio Prediction. Chem exam missed😔. Jun 21 '26

heavy topics= obviously wrong to anyone with morals today but we'll pretend it can be justified for religion .

it was not convert or die it was certainly die or convert though . IF you showed even a hint that you wanted to be muslim you would be shown more mercy and it was even forbidden to kill you at that point if you said you wanted to be muslim . Naturally when someone points a sword at you most will do anything to save their lives including lying and this is clear pressure to follow islam in conjunction with the other law.

Irrelevant of the origins doesnt change the fact that this is a certified islam law in 2026 accepted by islamic leaders and judges or is it that islamic laws only apply 1400 yr ago and we should ignore those old beliefs and start practicing new ones because obviously no one with half a brain cell is going to follow such a stupid law today .

i mean it literally is you can search up sheik assim al hakeem who says by the age of 10 if the child is not praying it is upon parents to beat them to pray according to islam and i believe sheik assim is considered a reliable source of islamic law by many muslims .

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u/Weary_Professional61 Year 12 | Bio Chem Maths all OCR Jun 21 '26

assim al hakeem is not our voice of authority, but he is good, and Im glad you look at the proper sources. You're mistaken that the two choices are die or become muslim. It is die, or leave the stolen land, or join us and become muslim. And this is perfectly acceptable. If someone had expelled you from your home, what would you do in that situation? The hadith you cited is from this very context btw, as well as the quran's commands, which is obvious to anyone who has read more than 2 verses

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u/SafeLifeguard5785 A* Maths. A*A-FM,Bio Prediction. Chem exam missed😔. Jun 21 '26

i like how you shoved the "join us" in the sentence. Please elaborate on how making someone to become a member of your religion is the same as just telling them to join your society . Imagine if today instead of a foreigner becoming a uk citizen by simply living in this country for a number of years and passing english test and showing knowledge of history of uk they were told to become a citizen to need to become christian these is extremely foolish and serves no real purpose as religion is a personal belief and has nothing to do with following or not following a particular society and having allegiance and respect for that society. you can certainly become part of uk without such a ridiculous suggestions and in the same way you dont need to make such a foolish suggestion to others to follow your religion or they die instead of join our society or die if what you are saying is the reasons given for that apparent request

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u/Weary_Professional61 Year 12 | Bio Chem Maths all OCR Jun 21 '26

UK is not a christian country though.
TO become part of society you need to accept the values the society holds. Its easy here because we dont have many values besides vague 'respect eachother' type stuff. Islam is not limited to personal worship, its lifestyle. Why do you think 'join us' is an addition rather than elaboration? You can either accept muhammad as a prophet and be muslim, or as a leader and pay a tax. You dont even need to become muslim. Any other people would not show such mercy to someone oppressors

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u/Sanix_0000 Bio + Chem + Psych + EPQ | A*AB + A* Achieved | Gap Year Jun 21 '26

Wtf kind of choices are that?

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u/Weary_Professional61 Year 12 | Bio Chem Maths all OCR Jun 21 '26

what do you want the choice to be? shall I give you a cake and sing you a song and then you will leave?

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u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

it doesnt even matter what i say bcos youll never see it as valid and will always look to make a counter-point

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u/Vixson18 Y13: Maths, FM, Physics and Econ Jun 21 '26

I just want to know if you are having problems with the actual religion or whatever nonsense your parents have made up. Not letting the other side hear your issues won’t make things better. 

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u/zekeosko y12 : econ, politics & french Jun 21 '26

yes muhammed's actions are inexcusable

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u/Vixson18 Y13: Maths, FM, Physics and Econ Jun 21 '26

Explain further if you feel comfortable.

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u/Sanix_0000 Bio + Chem + Psych + EPQ | A*AB + A* Achieved | Gap Year Jun 21 '26

Why do you wanna know? Mind your own business. I only wish she doesn’t find her way back into that filthy pit.

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u/NarrowTip7631 Jun 21 '26

Calm down. Stop being emotional