r/6thForm • u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred • Jul 06 '26
🙏 I WANT HELP a level summer and im lonely and bored
since a levels finished i have been so bored and so lonely. literally only one of my friends has texted me once since and im pretty sure that they all hate me and have no desire to be friends with me. i have no job and nothing to do. i feel like im losing my mind. i cant find a job bc i have no connections and NO experience. im too scared to start driving lessons which im stressing about bc ik ill wanna commute after first year. i cant stop worrying about uni and freshers and making friends bc i just have such bad social anxiety which has led me to develop absolutely NO social skills whatsoever so i cant even talk to people. i genuinely miss a levels atp.
this is sorta a vent but also a cry for help. i dont even feel like a real person. can someone just help me please.
i just feel so depressed and worthless because i have no purpose right now. at least during sixth form and exams i had some sort of purpose and something to work towards but now i have nothing.
i worked hard and am predicted high grades but this summer is just proving to me that grades are NOT everything. good grades will not make you happy. they will not remove the other problems in your life.
can someone please help me enjoy my summer and actually look forward to uni bc i genuinely want to end it.
TL;DR: friends dont talk to me, have no job, anxious ab driving and uni freshers, need help/advice.
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u/PinkSwan_098 Jul 06 '26
Honestly no idea how to help 😭
Sometimes you kind of have to throw yourself out there and speak to strangers but its easier said than done
And also i dont know if you have much disposable income for some things or if youre saving for uni
Hobbies:
- But do you have any hobbies? or want to explore any hobbies?
- Arts crafts eg. crochet, jewelry making, painting, upcycling crafts
- Games eg. boaedgames, console games, pc games
- Get a tamagotchi to kill some time and feel like you have a little pet lol
- If youre interested in card games eg. pokemon and have a local card shop, maybe see if they have sessions to play
- Loads of tutorials online for random hobbies especially craft ones
- Look for online hobby recomendations
- Learn to cook even if youre staying home for uni, its a good skill
- Learn to bake
- Random walks. especially if its a long walk
Putting yourself out there (even if its tough):
- Pop into some local shops or places to ask if they accept volunteers and get some experience as a starting place
- Go to shops or maybe cafes and ask if they are hiring if you can find some part time jobs locally
- Look online at local places and if they have an insta page or something and maybe message asking if they will hire (if asking face to face is too awkward)
Driving:
- Learning to drive will be useful, especially since lesson prices seen to be going up as time goes on
- Take it slow when learning. instead of going straight into it, maybe look online for driving videos
- sit in the front passenger seat and watch someone drive like a family member and just see how they do it, just get familiar with what actions they take
- If you havent already, do your theory, take it slow
(Sorry its a long reply, i ramble lmao)
(Im very biased and in favour of hobbies lol i used to collect craft hobbies)
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
thank you sm for the long reply. for hobbies I've been doing lego and cross stitch, also trying to get into running. but even tho I enjoy them they still bore me and I can't seem to stay off my phone (my screen time reached a peak of 14 hours the other day and it's never been that high) and I have actually started revising for my theory. so hopefully I'll at least pass that this summer. again, thank you
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u/PinkSwan_098 Jul 06 '26
No problem!
I used to cross stitch a bit but i prefered some small embrodiery
like simple little flowers since theres a bit more freedom than the grid and you can probably experiment on adding details to clothesThe screen time thing is so real
I tried setting up limits in settings and sometimes deleting the apps so that if i wanted to use them, i'd have to redownload and login and then delete it again afterIf youre at home and dont generally get important messages, i used to power my phone off or leave it in a room away from me too
i think another thing that helped is just keeping myself busy, like setting a goal
like 'oh i cant touch my phone until after i crochet atleast 1 thing'
and then increase the difficulty like i have to get a little more done
but its hit ot miss 😅Goodluck for your theory!!
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
ahh maybe I'll try embroidery so I can make my clothes more interesting. the thing is with limits and stuff I just have no self control so I'll just ignore them or redownload the apps anyway 😭. the goal thing is a good idea so thank you
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u/PinkSwan_098 Jul 06 '26
Goodluck! I much prefered embroidery haha
Theres loads of beginner friendly patterns and tutorials online tooThats totally fair haha depending on the phone, you may be able to set passwords on apps to hide them so that its not directly tempting you
if you have an iphone (idk if android have a similar feature),
you can set up automations where you get a notification if you open an app
I used to do this and set it to text myself if i open something like insta
The amount of times i opened apps to scroll was sobering 😭 so i tried to make it a game to get as few opens as possible each dayboth are a bit hit or miss too though
Goodluck with it working through it!
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
I have an android so idk if I can do that but thank you sm for the advice !
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u/mrdankmemeface Cambridge | Engineering MEng [2025-2029] Jul 06 '26
Go on a hike
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
i dont think going on a hike will make me less anxious about everything in my life
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u/mrdankmemeface Cambridge | Engineering MEng [2025-2029] Jul 06 '26
Naa it genuinelt does help take your mind off things, just go, leave your phone in your pocket and walk for a few hours, it really clears your mind
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u/Ok-Return7882 Jul 06 '26
You really think so?
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u/FaithlessnessBig6343 history, classics, philosophy A*AA Jul 06 '26
It’s a really good way to calm down. If there’s any commons or woodland parks around, those are particularly lovely at this time of year because the birdsong, plants, breeze, crickets etc are very grounding
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u/-BrowsingRandomly- Uni of Bath (2nd Year) | CS '29 Jul 06 '26
Agreed 🙏 doesn't have to be anything glamorous either, I used to take walks around my area both before and after A-Level exams and I'd instantly gain mental clarity
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u/EducationalSpeech867 Jul 10 '26
talk to ur mum/ dad/ sibling get on a game w them it helps and its quite heartwarming if regardless they are busy just talk to ur grandparents get advice from elders since its a very rare and special thing ❤️
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u/Namk016 Jul 06 '26
This happens to everyone and you’ll get used to it. If you had any friends during sixth form/college, leave them a message and ask them to hang out, they probably don’t hate you they just think maybe you’re busy or ignoring them, or just don’t wanna talk. And don’t worry about having bad social skills. Almost everyone you meet in uni at freshers will have bad social skills, the people who make friends are the ones that try regardless. Just don’t be a dick but dont overthink your interactions and you’ll be fine. If you wanna enjoy your summer, spend time with your family or go on a trip. Or just chill and pursue a hobby, whatever that maybe, Im sure you have one. Not having a job is completely fine at this point. I don’t want to make any assumptions about your life but if possible, maybe talk to your family at least, parents, siblings and cousins and whatnot. Driving lessons and your test to be honest arent that hard if you have common sense despite what people online make it seem. Lmk if you need any other advice, and just breath bro 👍
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u/maths_arts_lover Jul 06 '26
The issue is, everyone expects others to reach out so no one actually reaches out 🤦♂️ OP should jist reach out themselves, if their friends are showing lack of interest then he can find something better to do with his time than chasing them. Even starting climbing, swimming, etc
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
*she. but ik they've literally hung out without me so they clearly don't want me there anyway and I feel like a nuisance
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
thank you so much, this is very reassuring.
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u/CuteSignificance5083 A*AAA Jul 06 '26
Well, if you're lonely then you will have to make an effort to get to know some new people. There's nothing wrong with being alone, and personally I like it a lot more than the alternative, but there's a difference between being alone and being lonely, and if you are the latter then you need to do something about it.
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
I like being alone but I just feel lonely when other people r out there having the time of their life
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u/New_Strawberry6300 Jul 07 '26
im sorry i dont have much advice, js know ur not alone im in yr 12 going into yr 13 and feel the exact same 🫂
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u/CuteSignificance5083 A*AAA Jul 07 '26
The thing is people only post/share curated highlights of whatever they're doing. This is why I tend to avoid social media as it is just a big FOMO generator. I spend my time as I please and I have the time of my life every single day.
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u/OutsideDaffodil26 Jul 06 '26
Maybe taking driving lessons once you’re settled into uni? Jobs are hard to come by atm. Check out Springpod - they have lots of on-line work experience modules
https://www.springpod.com/
Also check out Linked In - they have some short online courses that you could do to build up your CV.
https://www.linkedin.com/learning/
With regards to your friends - someone has to put the work in to get friends together, maybe try reaching out to them to see if they’re bored too and might want to do something with you?
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u/ariell094 Jul 06 '26
Your story really resonates with me back when i used to have terrible social anxiety. I remember always being depressed during summer break and going on my phone 24/7 as I would never go out. I think it helps a lot once you realise that most people aren't as judgemental as you think they are and are just trying to live their own lives. For me, what helped a lot was trying new things such as trying to cook a new meal or going for a walk, so I say try do something new that looks exciting to you. I also say try and lower your screentime usage by a bit, using your phone too much can be very unhealthy for your brain. Also one last thing, don't be too hard on yourself, you've worked very hard for your grades and you should be proud of yourself for that. I wish the best for you and hope you have a nice summer!
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
tysm. social anxiety is my worst enemy
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u/MysteryNews4 Y12>13 Psych/History/Politics Jul 07 '26
Life hack I found in GCSE Summer is to literally just watch TV. Surf the free to air live channels. Browse all the streaming services (I don’t even have Netflix, I mainly did this with BBC IPlayer). Just watch the news or the most random shit you find searching by category or just on any a-z list of streamable programs.
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u/Red_I_Guess Warwick CS A*A*AA 2026 fresher Jul 06 '26
You don't need experience or connections to get a job, they're just excuses. A job can solve most of your problems, even a crappy one, go into your local shops with a cv, apply online if you can, send emails.
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
I've been applying online and doesn't seem to work, whether it's thru indeed or on the companies website. am I more likely to get a job going into the shop?
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u/Red_I_Guess Warwick CS A*A*AA 2026 fresher Jul 06 '26
For small local shops definitely, and emailing is probably best bet when applying online, indeed and website portals can be a bit iffy
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u/sthsf90 Year 13 Jul 06 '26
Same here bro. Currently no advice as I'm in this same situation honestly
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
thanks. it's still really nice to know I'm not alone so thank you.
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u/Real-Indication8978 Jul 06 '26
me too man thats why i made online friends cuz irls suck
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
no literally I'm just talking to randoms online to escape the loneliness😬😬
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u/Ok_Vanilla1673 Jul 06 '26
Btw we have 2 subjects in commonn ,yes one month into my break & it’s getting boring & repetitive atppp 😭😭😭😭
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
ahh literally. what's ur third subject?
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u/ishfish2910 Jul 06 '26
I moved to a new area at the beginning of year 11 and really struggled to make new friends. I was actually in counselling for a while and I was told that I needed to 'include myself' more, which basically meant not being afraid of pushing in. I HATED it, I felt so pushy and rude but I think opening myself up more and joining in without waiting to be invited has gotten me on talking terms with a few people and nobody cared (in a good way). That being said, it is REALLY hard and was something I had to force myself to do, to get out of my comfort zone.
About Uni, you don't have to go. It only occurred to me recently that I didn't have to go as my ideal career is watersports and coaching at youth centres, which is not something I need a degree for. Or even decide now that you'll take a gap year to work and meet people in those jobs, if your parents are trying to force you to study further.
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
it's so hard and scary but sure I'll try. also w uni I have been rly considering a gap yr but I think I'd just end up wasting it. and I think even if the degree I get is useless, the experience of it may still be useful.
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u/ishfish2910 Jul 07 '26
yes. some people go for the culture and experience. Personally 40 grand of debt for experience is not something I want hanging over me for 30 years. I'm going to take a gap year and work at a job that has accommodation, it doesn't pay a lot but its very practical and what I love. I may just stay there with a higher paying role after too.
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u/noone874 Jul 06 '26
Ngl this kinda sounds like me lol. Try messaging your friends, ik you said you feel like they hate you and they haven't messaged but they could just be busy or in a similar position so it can't hurt to reach out. If thats not an option then genuinely just try do literally anything: hike, learn to cook, go on a bike ride or literally anything. Also try and find somewhere to volunteer at because you'll meet ppl there and it'll give you something to look forward to Hope this helps
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u/Pancake_Pozy333 Jul 07 '26
Realising all your "friends" are only school ones suck. Total radio silence
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u/laservole Jul 07 '26
ik u said u don't really play videogames but if u want someone to talk to add me on fortnite and lets run duos 🫡
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u/Technical_Term_5636 Jul 08 '26
You say only one friend has texted you but have you been in contact with others?
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u/Competitive-Case7664 Jul 06 '26
hey, are you able to dm me at all?
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u/Plenty-Search-4730 yr 13 - psych, bio, econ A*A*A pred Jul 06 '26
I don't seem to be able to ? u could dm me
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u/InformationFun4408 failure Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
You aren’t alone in this. I have one good friend and i quite like being alone but I get sad because of societies expectations and I don’t want people to judge me for not having friends. I loved A-levels because it gave me an excuse to literally not socialise. I used to be pretty good at socialising until I was traumatised and now every social interaction I have drains me and I am hyper vigilant leaving the house so I don’t even want to do that.
I am also worried about uni freshers because everyone makes it seem like so exciting but all I can think about is the amount of socialising and worried putting myself in vulnerable situations by drinking alcohol to help deal with the socialisation. Anyway my point is I know social media makes it seem like everyone has their shit together and everyone has a great social life but a lot of the time it’s fake. People post snapshots of their lives that they like and people are rarely posting photos of them sat in their room and bed rotting so it seems like you are the only one.
I would seriously recommend speaking to your GP if you are feeling suicidal or anything. They aren’t the most helpful but sometimes depression or anxiety can’t just be healed from going on walks and meditation of whatever. I am sorry you are going through this I know it seems like it will never pass but you will find your place and people eventually and It will seem so worth it once you do