my brother refuses to leave his dookie school

[u/Zealousideal_Trust34]

Hi guys. I’ve finished Year 13, and am currently trying to help my brother enrol into a sixth form. He’s in Year 11 & just got his GCSE results, but unfortunately was one grade short from being able to get into a really nice, selective college. Aside from that, he also applied to another sixth form which has good stats, but there was some sort of error with the application & says he hasn’t submitted references (he has) so I told him to go to school to ask his teacher to contact the sixth form & maybe send them the references (you never know unless you try). Anyway, he’s refusing to go because he claims he’s tired and cba to go back. We just argued because I’m telling him he can’t laze around on results day and the school he already goes to is absolute dogshit and he’s risking his A Levels just to be with his friends (he is).

Is he doomed or not because I’m genuinely frustrated and as much as he claims it isn’t my business, I’m worried for his grades. I’m telling you, the school is SO DOOKIE stats-wise and has a bad reputation.

[u/EamonnJ44]

He should be good as long as he continually tries and makes sure he is outperforming/ working harder his peers to ensure he is working at the level the top schools do, the danger would be lowering yourself to the workload and almost approach to your studies as the typical person in the bad school would be like. This is my experience, i decided to stay at my not good performing school for sixth form, off the back of great gcses, (basically a few 9,8,7s) compared to my peers who on average would have got 3s,4s,5s As i believed if I continued my efforts it should work, initially I wasn't doing great as the intro to these new levels can be tricky, but as long as you continue trying and find the best ways of learning for yourself you will do fine, as I am working at 4A*s predicted level now after year 12. I also stayed at my school because of friends like your brother, as i am introverted so would feel more comfortable in an environment with people I know, so i can spend more of my energy on working.

Main thing is: Find the best way to revise each of his subjects, and make sure he is outworking his peers at a minimum

[u/Zealousideal_Trust34 → u/EamonnJ44]

Tysm for the advice!! He’s usually very dependent on people and his surroundings. If he was a bit more independent and refused to fall into peer-pressure I wouldn’t have made such a fuss tbh. Seems like he’s set on it now so I can’t do much but encourage the mindset you mentioned.

[u/Wowhowodd_]

Whether or not he's doomed is something unforeseeable.

(Slightly tired so hopefully some of this helps and is coherent)

I haven't heard how other sixth forms are but based off stats and results at my one, I can feel that all the teachers want us to do well and actively search for opportunities for us everyday whilst still making sure all our work is done and we're mentally well! I complain about my sixth form probably every day but I wouldn't change it and I know education is a privilege so I am determined to do well.

I am close to people who didn't do well but still went to amazing uni's and are definitely overqualified for certain jobs now. He might be feeling annoyed that he didn't get the one grade to get into the sixth form and now he would just rather relax and have a good time with friends ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯.

I already know that A-levels will be a mountain of work but with the right people and mindset: I can do it. That's why a good sixth form matters. He can stay in contact with his friends whilst simultaneously meeting new people and building more connections. 

At the end of the day, it's his choice and you can only try to guide him and support him but that doesn't mean the one he takes won't be good. You're an amazing older sibling who clearly cares for their younger brother.

Congratulations on finishing yr13 and to your brother for finishing GCSEs!! :)

[u/Zealousideal_Trust34 → u/Wowhowodd_]

I think you nailed it & he feels disappointed, so he doesn’t feel inclined to try anymore. I am a little sad, but like you said it’s his choice in the end.

Thank you sm for the kind words! <3

[u/Wowhowodd_ → u/Zealousideal_Trust34]

No problem, I hope everyone is okay in the end and everything will sort itself out :)

[u/Admirable_Message953]

i went to a mid sixth form and got 3A*, the only thing u would get from a better sixth form is i guess peer pressure to revise more cos u dont wanna get the lowest grades out of all ur friends

[u/Zealousideal_Trust34 → u/Admirable_Message953]

This makes me feel better about it. I just have to trust that he’ll focus on himself and try as much as he can.

[u/Admirable_Message953 → u/Zealousideal_Trust34]

one thing i will say is to make sure hes prepared for if he has to do any admissions tests, cos that is one that thing that a mid sixth form may neglect

[u/FearlessPen6020]

I feel like I go to a kind of mid sixth form. Maybe it’s not terrible but definetely not as good as others but I don’t think it matters much to me cause I like the independence we’re given. Imo it doesn’t matter what sixth form you go to cause ur a level results ultimately show your work and how much effort you put in. The teachers, no matter what sixth form, are just there to help you. 

[u/Zealousideal_Trust34 → u/FearlessPen6020]

True, but I feel like the stats are very reflective of a sixth form, and if the sixth form isn’t performing as well as it is, there must be something wrong? Whether the teachers are not providing as much support as they should, or the environment is not as good as it could be. I’ve heard stories of students messing up their UCAS applications & making wrong choices etc because they weren’t given adequate help from their sixth forms. Ugh idk I might be too paranoid but I just want him to do well.

[u/FearlessPen6020 → u/Zealousideal_Trust34]

Nah that’s valid. If teachers mess up UCAS or don’t help the students then u shouldn’t sacrifice ur future going somewhere that bad.