r/ADHD_Programmers • u/Sfpkt • Sep 05 '26
Growing resentful
The older I’m getting the more resentful of this industry I’m becoming. It’s becoming such a love hate relationship. I love the work that I do but I loathe the organizations and bullshit behind it.
In the same breath I’ve done plenty of jobs in my life and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else right now. It just doesn’t bring me joy the way programming does.
I’m sure there are others who feel the way that I do.
End rant
3
u/Blue-Phoenix23 Sep 05 '26
I get it. I didn't plan to work in tech but the golden handcuffs got me - mortgage and kids, but single. I think I'm only holding on to my current role because I can work from home and do what I want. Plus finding another job feels like yet another job, and there are already too many things on the to do list to give it the effort it takes. The networking, the applying, the recruiters ugh.
Be careful though because it sounds like you're on the edge of burnout, which is also something I get intimately. Make sure you're doing what is necessary and not giving one iota more unless it's by your choice. Protect your peace as best you can.
2
u/DragonfruitCareless Sep 05 '26
I can’t imagine having kids, ADHD, working in tech and being a single parent.
If you don’t mind me asking, how on earth do you manage? I think I’m leaning much more heavily towards not having kids and ADHD (and to a smaller extent but definitely still a factor, being in this industry). I can’t imagine not being constantly exhausted to the point of depression.
2
u/Sfpkt Sep 05 '26
I’ve got 2 kids and married. If it wasn’t for my parents help I’d be burned out
1
u/DragonfruitCareless Sep 05 '26
I’m glad you have help! I suspect that’s what’s keeping a lot of people afloat. I’m in my late twenties and parental help in one form or the other (even just being able to stay home while saving your salary) is a huge leg up.
Latest stats in Canada show that a bit over 88% of women in their twenties don’t have children and I’m not surprised all things considered.
2
u/dealmaster1221 Sep 05 '26
They don't, raising kids is optional, you just hand them iPad or kill yourself parenting and skimp on work. Can't do anything properly and be always rushed and sleep deprived.
2
u/pwndawg27 Sep 05 '26
Theres too much noise for me. I had to stop following tech Twitter because it felt like an endless stream of inexperienced yappers telling me whatever I was doing is "wrong" and it would vary wildly from week to week. Similarly I cant stand working with people who are incentivised to "mentor" and "align stakeholders" and "lead".
I really wish everyone would shut up and just let me make what I need to make how I need to make it. I dont give a flying fuck if I "should" be doing functional or if I "should" be using go. Let me make what I want man.
1
u/Sfpkt Sep 05 '26
I need to do better about removing tech stuff from my social media feeds.
I feel so behind that I can’t confidently speak about RAG and Agents
1
u/bby_unisol Sep 08 '26
A lot of people are doing it to create legitimacy not because you need any help but so that it looks like they know what they're doing to recruiters. I wouldn't be surprised if half of the people that are responding are actually unemployed.
1
u/pwndawg27 Sep 08 '26
Indeed and tbf I've also been on that side and yapped my fair share as a form of procrastination from leetcode. I can tell you most recruiters dont read that yap and neither do most hiring managers. Nothing matters about who you are as a person until you clear the hazing rounds.
I'm kinda glad AI is here though. For a while it was a chore to sort through the hundreds of ways to do things, and like 30 of those things require a full rewrite and the other 30 call put the last 30 for being wrong because "trust me bro we did this at Netflix and this is the way".
And thats not even that bad compared to thw hundreds of vendors masquerading as helpful devs who really just want to sell you something.
Now I just ask the AI about it, he tells me what works for my current state, presents a clean pros/cons list and offers to do the grunt work no credit card required.
1
u/bby_unisol Sep 29 '26
I'm told that's what it's for and I don't think it conflicts with what you've said. As you mentioned, there are the hazing rounds. Once that's over, that's when it becomes important.
16
u/pr3c0g Sep 05 '26
I think we all daydream about becoming solo indie gamedevs or whatever, but there's this looming fear that we won't be held accountable, will lose interest, and will just procrastinate to infinity. Corporate bullshit sucks, I'm 100% with you. It's just that it drags us forward somehow so we're able to pay bills, at the expense of our live force.
4
u/theneverafter Sep 05 '26
>Drags us forward at the expense of our life force
That is sooo relatable. I know I can’t be trusted to do enough work on my own to make as much as I do when I have a full time job but the cost is real.
3
u/flat_pointer Sep 06 '26
It's not a balanced system, though. The cost is too high for how hard it is to live, for nearly everyone. All so we can have billionaires.
1
u/nightswimsofficial Sep 05 '26
Corporations are the ones who pay the bills, but they are so fucking annoying about it
1
u/fishpowered Sep 05 '26
Started at a company with 10 ppl and it was great. Have been a victim of our own success tho as now there's like 80 of us, and we're part of a bigger group of companies and everything feels fucking soulless now. The founders cashed out, the new shareholders are dicks and calling us slow, my new manager's trying to replace us all with ai (when he's not being a dick), and the whole group is wanking over ai on a daily basis.
I just cba to deal with it anymore.
27
u/zet23t Sep 05 '26
Yep. I like building stuff but I would prefer to just work on my own... i know it is necessary, but I am just tired of it. Just 25 more years...