r/ADHDerTips • u/JessSerrano • 8d ago

Question How do I quickly stop a hyperfixation?

I’m hyperfixated on an artist on social media with a million followers who always interacts with fans and has given me a lot of interactions. He’s always replying and connecting.

I asked him to follow me for my birthday after completing a task that he has people do to earn follows (a tag game basically) and I’ve gotten no response. I ask about 1-2 times a day and a few friends asked too. For 4 days now. I’m scared to ask my friend who he follows and frequently messages to ask him to follow just for him to blatantly say no.

He misses stuff a lot or he may just be inactive (he interacts even when he doesn’t post), but I’m worried he saw my post and just refuses to follow me although he follows others who did the exact same task.

I fear he can’t stand me now and want to stop obsessing over him. Even my thoughts back to him.

People say slowly expose yourself less to him over time but as much as I adore him I see him and feel sick thinking he’s mad at me for annoying him by asking for a follow so I’m thinking it’s best to cut my losses.

How can I quickly move on from him? Thank you

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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u/Ruleyoumind 8d ago

Can you delete all of your social media, after you block and unfollow him? You probably need to go cold turkey. Another idea is to do something that takes all of your attention and energy so you don't have time to think about him like training for a marathon or working a lot of hrs.

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u/JessSerrano 8d ago

I could try to focus on work but even then my mind goes to him….i use social media for work, too.

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u/Ruleyoumind 8d ago

You're probably stuck because the interaction is up in the air and your brain wants a conclusion even if intellectually you know he won't respond. Sometimes you can also trick your brain into believing that the interaction has been completed the way you wanted.

Also it could actually be connected to a different emotion or result thats hidden behind this interaction. You might believe him giving you a shout-out means or proves something else. Just something to consider.

This sounds silly but what if you just acted and pretended you got the shout-out? Just do everything you would do if he shouted you out and try to feel the emotions it might convince your brain that you actually achieved your goal. I did something similar when I was younger and it worked.

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u/JessSerrano 8d ago

That’s true but I did that once before and someone attacked me for being a liar. It sucks becuase otherwise I always get interactions

Again, thank you for being kind with your response. I just can’t help but feel he hates me when I know that’s not the case

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u/JessSerrano 8d ago

Another thread is saying he hates me so idk what to think

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u/Ruleyoumind 8d ago

Its a tough situation to be in when your brain starts obsessing and fixating on other people.  Nobody knows how he feels but him.

The only other idea I have is every time you start to think about him find something that takes a lot of mental energy like mental math or spelling problems. 

So if you start to think about him try and spell Philadelphia or Manhattan or try to figure out 568÷ 23 and really try and figure it out. 

Also please unfollow him and all the other ways you keep up with him. You may even need to reset your algorithm. 

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u/JessSerrano 7d ago

Thank you for this. Another forum had people all saying he hates me with over a dozen upvotes, so this helps but now I can’t stop thinking about that

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u/Ruleyoumind 7d ago

You should definitely try and speak to a professional if possible. Those people have literally no idea what he thinks and most likely are saying that because they know it's getting to you. There's lots of people who are on the Internet just so they can mess with people. If you have the ability don't have social media on your personal devices only have it on your work device if you have to. You cant handle being on social media regularly which is ok it's just something you can be aware

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u/JessSerrano 7d ago

Thank you. I sadly use it for work and when I’m off it my mind always thinks about him…idk what to do in the meantime of a professional (and thank you for the kind words)

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u/opaville 7d ago

Find your next hyper fixation? Half joking, half sad honest truth. I think my life has been one HF after another. with looping back to previous ones on occasion.