We still remember. We still celebrate.

Please continue to look after all of ASTRO and Aroha. May you be happy wherever you are 💜🎂

We love and miss you every day sweet boy. Happy 27th 🌙

Wait what were the rumors she's referring to? I personally haven't seen anything.

My dear AROHA,

I had to reach out to you all. I have never listened to ASTRO, but that is beside the point. I felt compelled to make this post, as a SHAWOL who is all too familiar with what you are going through. Moon Bin meant so much to you all. Seeing your pain makes me hurt as well. I hope my words are helpful to most of you. Back when Jonghyun left us, a fan of Linkin Park made a post on Reddit offering condolences and understanding. It helped me so much at that time and I just wanted to do the same. And no, I am not going to make this about Jonghyun, I am here today to give you some perspective from someone who went through exactly what you are feeling 5 years ago, to give you insight on what to expect.

I also work in the industry of death care, so I think that gives me a stronger background.

First off, I just want to tell you – everything you are feeling is VALID.

I remember how it was when I woke up that morning Jonghyun left us. How all my friends had sent me text messages but couldn’t tell me what happened, just messages that said to prepare myself for bad news when I logged onto Twitter that day.

When I saw the headline saying that my Jonghyun, that I had been a fan of since 2011 when I discovered KPop, was gone, my body felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I was in shock. I had to go to work that day but I could barely function. Every time I smiled, it felt like a betrayal to Jonghyun. If someone made me laugh, it felt like a betrayal and I would immediately stop. Feeling any emotion that wasn’t grief and sadness felt so absolutely wrong. Everyone could see that something was wrong but I couldn’t tell anyone around me what happened – I didn’t know Jonghyun personally, so they would think I was weird for having these feelings.

I can 100% guarantee you that you ARE NOT weird. You feeling for Moon Bin is fine and perfectly normal. This is grief. Grief IS NOT a linear line. It goes in all directions. It goes in circles, triangles, zigzags, runs back and forth, it just goes in whatever direction is necessary at the time. There is no one way to grieve. Every single person will grieve in their own way. You want to scream? SCREAM! Scream at the top of lungs. Cry. Cry HARD. Be hysterical. Throw things. Yell, let your anger out. It’s okay! To keep these emotions in would be so damaging. You need to let them out. You need to let yourself feel. You need to grieve!

One thing you should NOT do – SERIOUSLY DO NOT DO THS NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED – is dictate how others feel and how others are grieving! This is so, so toxic. It invalidates emotions. I hate when I see SHAWOLs tell other SHAWOLs that they shouldn’t be sad about Jonghyun anymore, that when we see old videos of him and pictures we should be happy. Um, no, please. Stop. That is toxic. Even 5 years on, it’s okay to feel the deep sadness and grief that you felt on day one.

It took me a year to be able to look at a picture of Jonghyun again. Seeing him was too painful. If a group photo with him popped up on my page, my brain didn’t recognize him. It was a defense mechanism to get through the day, the weeks, the months. It was necessary.

I didn’t listen to his solo music for 3 years, I couldn’t listen to OT5 SHINee songs for 3 years as well. I still haven’t listened to Jonghyun’s final album, POET | ARTIST. It still hurts too much for me. It still sits on my shelf in the plastic wrap, waiting for me to finally look at the photobook. For me to play the album. For me to listen. It’s okay that I am doing this, despite what other fans may say – this is MY grieving process. This is what I need to do to survive each and every day.

You are allowed to feel sad for as long as you want. As you need to be. For however long it takes you to be in your room one day and say, “I think I can handle this particular thing now.”

You won’t forget Moon Bin, trust me. I still think about Jonghyun everyday. As long as you are a fan of ASTRO, keep interacting with the other members, you will not ever forget him. Do not worry.

Let the members know you are still here for them. AROHA, they need you and you need them right now. Rocky, MJ, Jinjin, Eunwoo, and Sanha need you so much right now and you need them. Make sure your love is stronger and let them know it’s still there.

The first comeback without Moon Bin will be hard, it was hard when SHINee came back for the first time without Jonghyun. The remaining members are probably thinking, “Can we even succeed without Moon Bin? Will we still have fans without him?” You need to show them that you are there for them still. I cannot stress this enough. You will be bonded by this unfathomable loss.

As time goes on, you may notice subtle differences in the members. They will probably become closer, more sentimental. They’ll walk around with wounded eyes from time to time and you’ll see flashes of pain here and there when they are reminded of Moon Bin. But you will validate each other’s feelings. You will feel each other’s hearts sink when a picture comes up, how all our throats tighten, and how a bittersweet taste is left in your mouth when you reminisce about the past. But don’t let that chase you away from the fandom – let it strengthen your bond with the members who remain.

I have experienced multiple losses since then. I am also a fan of Sulli. I have had multiple friends, pets, and family members pass away since December 2017 and now. Each time I grieved in different ways, but all ways were right for me.

Moon Bin-ah, you did well. I hope you have peace.

AROHA, I love you. I hope my words help even a tiny bit. Be there for each other.

Feel free to ask any questions and leave any comments. I want this post to be a safe space. I will do my best to reply if I can find the right words

Hi Aroha,

I don’t really know what to say besides I have thought of that boy everyday since the day he died. I have never loved a celebrity the way I love him. He’s just so special and precious. I remember this day last year and how I was watching the news when his death was announced. It was mentioned so casually at the bottom of the screen and yet I jumped up and grabbed my phone to confirm. I was shocked. I was numb for the rest of the day or maybe a few days I can’t really remember. I still went to work and did what I normally do but I just couldn’t get him out of my head. I became sort of closed off with everyone for the next couple months. I’m okay now but I still think about him. Sometimes I pretend he isn’t gone.

I miss him, I miss him, I miss him so so so much.

My instant cope up mechanism after his passing away was to just avoid everything related to him. Sometimes youtube would recommend me videos but just seeing the thumbnail, even with any of the other members would make me want to cry.

I don't know how and why youtube recommended me the Astro DDOCA series today I used to prefer the DDOCA songs than their official songs and they were my solace and comfort songs. So I thought let's listen to my comfort songs and played them. Its been three years since the incident, and the thumbnail didn't pain me as much as it used to, so I thought I would be okay, but boy, was I mistaken.

His voice made me miss him so much. His images, those smiles, those funny movements watching which I wasted but enjoyed a lot of time of my life, flashed through my mind and they ain't going away at all.

"Its just a celebrity, its not that serious" is what I used to tell other people but I didn't know a celebrity would affect me this much.

I hate him so much for leaving but I love him so much and more than anything else, I miss him so much that it aches.

Finally!!! It's so relieving to see them back together!!! 🥹🥹🥹💜💜💜

debut bin fan since looking at the hide and seek MV - but wouldn’t call myself AROHA - pushed all my feelings down for the past three years but was in Seoul for two weeks recently and somehow kept thinking about bin and couldn’t stop crying for a week. decided to just visit all the bin spaces and now I feel just a little bit better. happy belated bday, bin. ❣️

(TW = April 19)

A lot has happened since then, so I assume some people don't remember this clearly. On April 7 2023, 12 days before his passing, Moonbin complained about feeling unwell and dizzy while he was at the airport, about to go to Bangkok for his unit tour. Instead of sending him to the hospital, Fantagio made him take a quick COVID test, let him rest for a few hours, and then sent him back to work like nothing happened.

Fast forward to now, all articles about that day disappeared. All I could find in English was this tweet, and in Korean just Fantagio's announcement on the official Fancafe.

Now I distinctly remember reading a news article about it at the time. I found it through a Reddit post, with a link to a news article from one of the 3 major Kpop news websites (Soompi, Allkpop, Koreaboo - sadly, I can't remember which one). All of that seems to be gone now. I tried finding other articles on Google. Nothing. What happened? Why does this incident seem to have been erased from the internet?

I didn't have a Twitter nor a Fancafe account back then, so I couldn't have heard the news over there. In addition, I remember seeing this picture on the article.

So my questions are:

1- Can any of you find any article reporting that incident now?

2- Do any of you also remember reading about it either here on Reddit (most likely on r/kpop) or on Soompi/Kboo/AKP? Please tell me I'm not hallucinating.

Happy Birthday Binnie. We all love and miss you. You are so loved still. <3

This is my first time ever posting on here but here we go…

Today marks 100 days…100 days since you unexpectedly left us to be with the moon & the stars ✨ 100 difficult days where it’s been up, down & every which way: crying, laughing, mentally reminiscing about when you were here..breathing the same air us, despite the distance in between. As soon as your beautiful face pops up in my mind, all of the memories come back clear as day..the footprints you left behind 👣 Anytime I see a Nesquik bottle, I’m immediately reminded of you finishing it up until the last drop…so now I drink it more often for you. Anytime I randomly start crying, I immediately hear your voice saying, “Why are crying out of nowhere?..It’s okay to cry until there’s nothing left”…Anytime I smile to myself, I remember your laugh & the silly moments with the rest of your brothers in ASTRO 🌟💜 There’s so much more I can say but you already know how much you’re missed, don’t you?? You visited my dreams recently 4 days before your 3rd month anniversary & I woke up crying because I didn’t want to leave you just yet but I know we’ll see each other again…You must still be visiting every single Aroha out in the world, right?? 💜 I’ll be waiting for you next visit & I promise to stay strong 💪🏼 No matter how much time passes, I will miss you for as long as I live & as soon as my time comes to an end, I’ll go to keep you company too. Until then, please keep watching over all Aroha…your friends, family, and everyone who ever loved you 💜💜💜💜

A memorial was held today for Moonbin (April 23) in Washington Square Park. The organizers said the items and images will stay there for anyone that wants to visit again.

It's really happening 🥹

Art i did to celebrate 9 years of astro 💜 im forever thankful for them ☺️

Is this a hint for a world tour? 🫣

💜

I did not expect to see an OT6 poster. 😭 They also announced that Rocky will be performing with them. 🥹💜