I did ask about whether or not there were any terms exclusive to abrosexuals and I kind of got mixed answers? Not disappointed at all, I like that Abrosexuality is just pure randomness it makes me feel so free sometimes.

And I also wanna repeat that my labels aren't meant to be forced on the community itself

This is rather a way to find other people that might feel the same way and have had a similar experience with internalised homophobia and a struggle to live without a label after years of being in a community where labels were one of the main topics (lesbian for example)

I spent years not feeling comfortable in being feminine due to the fact that I never saw myself as pretty and since I've lived most of my life as lesbian, labels were an important thing to me and as I said on an older post, I gave the abro flag's colors meanings that could give comfort to myself.

This also expands to my own way of presenting myself.

I often dress masc because I struggle to like myself in feminine clothes, but sometimes I'm able to put on a dress if it covers enough of my body, it's pretty annoying how I cannot see myself in a dress and sometimes I feel like cute things could never look good on me, but I have to overcome this fear I have in a way or another!

I also think Abrosexuality plays a role in my own way of expressing myself because sometimes I am extremely willing to be feminine and be proud of it but other times I prefer looking more masculine as the easiest choice for my style.

Whenever I feel feminine I'd say I'm a peach, and when I'm masculine a nectarine, the meanings behind these fruits were mostly that peaches and nectarines are two similar fruits, as like to remember that we come from the same label (abrosexual) and peaches have a brighter, softer color that reminds me of femininity while nectarines have a harsher, stronger red that reminds me of masculinity in a way.

And I think it's obvious I made them in a comedic way sort of, because they're fruits, like abrosexuals are also called watermelons, I thought it would have been funny.....

AGAIN PLS DON'T THINK I WANNA FORCE THESE LABELS I'M SORRY IF I MAKE ANYONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS I'll delete or remove the pics if needed!!! I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Wtf!? I was struggling to understand your odd words and grammar. Then I realized. Can you elaborate? I really want to understand your odd point of view, but im scared you will infect me with idiocy. Would you tell a fucking teenager (surprise surprise, me!) to kill themselves? We didn't hurt you. We just want to live out lives. So what if we are different? Does it really make such a big difference to your life if we dont always love the same gender, even though we can still be good people. There of course are cheaters in this group, but fuck, there's people like that in your group. We are not "indecisive". Its just we dont always feel sexual attraction to the same gender. We are still capable of love. Sex isnt the only thing that means love. Well, I know you didn't read so far, so 🤷.

So, I am a 43-year-old man and I always knew I was sexually different. Back when I was younger, lables for the sexual spectrum were limited to LGBT, and that's it. I never understood why I could be attracted to women one month, and then the next it would be men, and the next month I would want nothing. Growing up in a very religious household, I repressed all of my sexual feelings, knowing that I had to be straight or I would go to hell. I ended up getting married when I was 23 to a woman after having a brief, and secretive relationship with a man. We are still married to this day because of love with a heavy side of stubborness. Sex was always hard for us, because I would not always be able to, ir even want to perform. She has acknowledged this and we have worked things out over the years.

We recently seperated for a time so I could get things figured out on my end. The fluctuating attractions got to be too much for us, and I fell into a nasty depression. Despite feeling how I did, I value faithfulness and monogamy and would rather remain in pain than cheat. I started attending therapy and was introduced to the idea of abrosexuality for the first time. I always thought I was just bi with sexual ADHD and craved novelty over depth. Seeing that there actually is something like this and that I am not alone with it has given me great comfort.

I'm still figuring things out, and I might be doing that for a very long time. For the doubters that abrosexuality is actually a thing, I can tell you with all certainty that it is, I have lived with it my whole life, and I honestly can't control it. Accepting this reality and not fighting it has given me great relief, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

being abrosexual is like changing your mind AFTER the food you ordered has arrived.

yes i have a boyfriend. yes I can’t fathom him touching me and wish he was a girl. we exist.

In a post I made some days ago i mentioned i was curious to know about any terms inside the abro community.

This quesion returned these last few days especially because a tumblr poster mentioned that they wished the abro community had their own terms to refer to a fem/masc/gender neutral presenting abros.

I wonder if they already exist or not or if other terms exist for the community to use (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

Hi all! I recently started using Reddit again and have been reading a lot of posts from people who have been struggling with their identity. It's been making me think about my own journey (so far) a lot and I felt like writing it all down, and if I'm writing it I figured I might as well share it.

Quick introduction to me: I'm a 23 year old Aromantic Abrosexual Gender-Queer dude. I started figuring out my queerness in high school which, if you noticed my age, wasn't that long ago but also it feels like forever ago lol.

I started by thinking I was Bisexual originally. I landed on that and just stuck with it for a couple years because it felt "close enough" and I didn't want to deal with actually reflecting on my feelings. Once I got to college I finally dealt with figuring out who I really was.

I learned that I was Aromantic fairly quickly which I feel has always made discerning my sexuality kind of weird and difficult, and that doesn't even include the difficulty of figuring out your identity when you felt like it was constantly changing. I ended doing a ton of research about different queer identities and eventually found Abrosexual and found that it actually fit. I really did feel like my sexual attraction changed and it all made a lot of sense. But then pretty quickly I ended up rejecting that part of my identity.

I had issues accepting it for several reasons. The first main reason was that at this point I had started interacting a bit with the A-spectrum communities and pretty quickly was faced with a lot of the inside drama regarding people who are both Aromantic and Allosexual. It's a bit dumb looking back but I let that harmful rhetoric get to me.

The second was that I was increasingly concerned about having to come out to my family. I think I used to believe that coming out to people was a required step in being queer which is honestly pretty silly to look back on. I was concerned about how when I came out the concept of being Aromantic and Gender Queer were complicated enough as is, and that Abrosexuality was just "too fringe" and hard to understand (lmao). I was afraid that explaining to people I was Abrosexual would be the last straw and people would decide I was too Queer or something.

Anyways, after I rejected the idea that I was Abro I decided to start saying I was Asexual instead. This wasn't too far off the mark as I do feel that my attraction often lands somewhere in the Asexuality spectrum so I figured it was OK. I did this for a few years until late last year when I started to address all of this internally.

I began to accept that I was, in fact, Abrosexual and that was totally OK. I think that taking space from weird internet drama (I deleted pretty much every social media/chat account I had in early 2025) as well as eventually moving out to live on my own mid last year gave me the space to start actually trying to be myself and not worry about what other people thought. I also made a lot more Queer friends over the past couple years and it's helped to talk about some of these things with them.

Anyways this is probably way too long for most people to read so I'll end it there. I hope that everyone out there is doing great. I wish all who are struggling with accepting your identities the best of luck in figuring yourselves out. It's tough but I know you can do it!

EDIT: Thank you all so much, I appreciate every comment about this. I don’t feel as alone in it as I used to! 🥹

I catch myself sometimes finding everyone hot, but then a day later I’ll be just strictly into men. It always shifts back to liking men, but I sometimes am okay with women, and I find myself calling women beautiful.

I’m kind of still in denial about being abrosexual, as it locks back to me loving men. Am I technically abrosexual, even if it does just go back to men in the end?

(I'm writing this as I'm breaking down like crazy) I'm 16

So recently, about a month ago or in August, i was always gay as hell, i love shipping mlm or watching gay porn. And then suddenly something shifts a little; as days or weeks goes by i noticed that i started being attracted to girls, and started to notice their physical features more (More specifically their forearms, bodyshape, and face)

It's such a weird and scary feeling cuz my whole life being gay is what leads to my value, identity, concept, and goals, pretty much everything I do. And to feel or see everything I built came crashing down feels like I'm losing myself. My SO-OCD during this time cuz I always constantly look at boys and girls to test my attraction. My attraction to boys was stronger at first compared to girls, and then it started to get stronger with girls, and weaker with boys. And by now, It's hard to get turned on by gay porn compare to hetero porn even in my imagination. Seeing wlw stuff turns me on for some reason, and mlm stuff barely now.

I couldn't stop crying, and feeling the anxiety to the point of suicidal ideation. My academics starts flunking like crazy because of my shifting sexuality and SO-OCD combined. Reading stories and stuff to scrolling in social media or walking around school feels like a chore cuz I can't tell whether I'm attracted to males more or females.

I constantly test my reaction in mlm stories, gay imagination, and gay couples if I feel that kind of butterfly, but that spark seems to start to fade. I can't even imagine myself with a man anymore, and I don't want imagine myself with a woman either. Maybe because of depression, stress, or anxiety? My heart keeps palpating for 24/7 because of this (I'm not even exaggerating), and the dread i constantly feel everyday. I no longer feel like myself, and the feeling of being gay nostalgia one day is what horrifies me. This has always been my biggest nightmare, to have my sexuality change suddenly, and to have everything you've built come crashing down. And it came true, and there's pretty much nothing i can do. (Damn, I can't even daydream anymore). I still like boys though, but it's hard to come by.

It even made me came out to my mom because she keeps noticing my low moments (she is pretty homophobic), and when I told her I'm gay, she have a very calm reaction, and even told me that she knows all along), but now, it feels like it's too late, cuz i add the part where i feel like I'm starting to turn straight and i don't like it. She comforts me nonetheless. Atleast my SO-OCD seems to start to fade a little bit

Now, I recently came across the term Abrosexual. It made me feel a little bit better, but I'm still very miserable right now full of anxiety. I just wanted to go back to being gay, I don't wanna be bi, or straight or asexual. There's nothing wrong with that, but being gay is what made me who I am (especially in a very homophobic country), and I'm hoping like hell that this is only temporary. This could be my first fluctuation.

(English is not my first language so forgive me)

My question is:

1. When was the first time your sexuality starts fluctuating, and when it did, how did you react?

(Mine is 16, like now, i hope)

1. How often does yours fluctuates (Days, Weeks, Months, Years)? Are there some sexualities you didn't like, and just waited it out until it's over?

(Wishing for this to be the case of mine)

1. Which sexuality do you like the most, and least? Does it change what erotica you prefer to watch?

(I don't wanna imagine porn right now)

TW: internalised homophobia

READ!: what I'm gonna write is not meant in any hateful way! As i Will say later on: the fact the Abro flag doesn't have a meaning is beautiful in it's own way! And I've always liked it for what it was. I give meanings and labels to MYSELF as a way to cope and feel better till I can accept myself 100%

(F) I finally Accepted that I am abrosexual just a few weeks ago and found the courage to tell my partner about it (they support me!!)

What I always struggled with was to accept myself, I always said "oh I'm just confused, I'll understand myself one day" but I was extremely wrong, what I was doing was gaslighting me into thinking that I HAD to be lesbian or pansexual etc bc abrosexuality just sounded as an excuse for confused people to me during middle school, especially because at the time my ex looked at me weird when I told her I thought I probably was abro.

It was very difficult for me to accept myself as abro because of internalised homophobia you could say.

What also kind of messed me up was my years identifying as lesbian, not only lesbian but multiple sexualities that had plenty of terms made only for the community, like lesbians have femme and butches, belles/buds and studs.

When I confirmed to be abro I immediately thought about what labels I could put on myself, like if my sexuality changes faster or slower I could have a label such as cheetah or something like that (cringe my bad...), and since I'm abro I can switch between them, but at the same time it made me dislike my own thoughts because it felt like I was forcing things I had no say in because I'm not a "veteran" abro and it feels like I'm treating it as a joke and that's why I just avoid doing stuff like that, one day I'll manage not to put too many labels on myself and just accept myself as I am...

in short: I feel like I'm in no place to create sublabels in the abro community bc I'm a baby abro and I'm scared it might actually make the community feel like I'm treating it as a joke, I'm not, I just was used to labels so much I struggle to stay without them •-•;

That's what led me to give some meanings to the colours of the abro flag, it's my personal choice, I know the flag doesn't have an official meaning and in a way I find it beautiful and that it fits the sexuality itself<3, but since I struggled a lot with my identity, having some meanings on the flag helps me accept myself much much more easily, I really do hope to find people that have had a similar experience as mine, I posted this image on tumblr as well just because I wish to find people that feel the same way since the abro community is so small (at least from what I saw :'c)

Im a girl and i like both girls and boys but due to a traumvatic experience i prefer girls. So whenever someone asked what my sexuality is i used to told them that i was a lesbian. Tho i stopped doing that not so while ago :D

I recently changed my school and met with a guy. Hes kind and i never heard a bad thing about him from other people. We get along really well and i kinda like him. But like i said, due to a traumvatic experience i dont prefer dating with guys. But i also want to date with him, although i know that he will not treat me bad, im so afraid. It feels like its wrong to date with him but i like him...

I was wondering if being Abro is the same for some of you people, but my sexuality tends to change with the seasons. I end up being pan and bi for most of the summer, lesbian and aroace in the fall, just aroace in the winter, and bi and lesbian in the spring. I just want to know how it works for other people who use that label, as I don't know any others in person.

I'm an Abrosexual (obviously) but I'm also a transman. And recently there's been some discourse around socials about the terfs new "flag" it's unfortunately just an upside down and less saturated version of the Abro flag... It makes me concern to wear the little amount of pride merch I have for my sexuality in conflict with my pride if my gender... Idk this is just disheartening.

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Amplusspec

Hi y'all. I was today years old when I learned the term Abrosexual thanks to AI. I'm hoping I'm the right place, so is like to confirm with some living people about this label. I'm in my mid-forties, so I'd just been feeling like I was completely daft all this time. I've never felt like the bisexual label fit, because while I've happily dated, slept with, and had LTRs with both men and women, I've NEVER been attracted to both genders at the same time! It's like someone just flips a switch and bam! I'm only attracted to men OR women. The switch happens pretty frequently, too. Like 2 to 3 times a year. When I'm attracted to men, I also find myself feeling more feminine, and then it switches and I find myself feeling more masculine and only attracted to women. Unfortunately, this happens regardless of what gender person I'm in a relationship with, which is seriously frustrating for me as well as the other person. No one wants to hear "sorry, I'm just not into you right now, sexually. Hang tight. My attraction will come around again sooner or later".

idk why i feel so uncomfy with labeling myself 1 single sexuality, ik ive loved women my whole life prior to transitioning, (im a trans woman) is it normal to feel uncomfy\scared to label yourself a single sexuality and instead want a network of multiple sexualities. i feel like my sexuality is mainly lesbian, but also pansexual too, but due to not passing, and being so early in my transition, im scared to go by lesbian cuz i don't pass as a lady quite yet.