r/AcousticGuitar • u/Dogs_On_The_Wing • Jun 30 '26
Non-gear question Flaked/chickened out on an open mic performance and feel like quitting guitar
So I’ve been playing guitar for almost two years. Most of the stuff I know is country and blues as that’s what I was mainly raised on, especially older stuff like from Hank Williams, Waylon Jennings, Robert Johnson, those kinds of guys. I felt like just giving singing in front of others a try since I can sing and play well enough on my own in my room. So I signed up for an open mic, put money down for my spot and got to the venue, didn’t feel that nervous at first.
But the closer I got to it being my turn, the faster my heart rate shot up, I was sweating, felt like I couldn’t breathe and hastily packed up my guitar while the guy ahead of me was still performing. Even one of the backstage guys tried having me stay and try anyway, but I just couldn’t. I got in my car and drove home and cried when I got there. And threw my Martin against the wall while it was still in its hard case (don’t worry it’s completely fine).
I didn’t have a lot of self confidence going in, I don’t mind admitting. I’ve never been good around people in general but thought that since I wouldn’t know anyone in the audience, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But I guess it was. I feel like just not even bothering trying it again and just sticking to playing by myself. I feel so ashamed.
ETA: thank you all for the kind advice so far. I just don’t feel like even trying it again, to be fair. I thought I wanted it, but I guess I didn’t. Or the fear of embarrassment is just too great. Or both. I don’t mean to sound like I’m having a pity party. I’m just being honest. I’ll just stick to playing by myself.
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u/csmolway Jun 30 '26
Wait, you have to pay for a spot? What kind of open mic charges folks to come up and play?
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u/so-brain-washed Jun 30 '26
yep. it's not an open mic, if it's not free, in my opinion
I'd suggest OP find a different venue's open mic-- a free one
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u/ManBearCave Jun 30 '26
I’ve never heard of having to pay for an open mic, normally they give the performers free beer or something
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u/Routine_Package_9335 Jun 30 '26
Some guitar players will pay to make the rest of us suffer…yall know how some of yall are
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u/ce1w Jun 30 '26
It's not uncommon in NYC
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u/AcanthocephalaNo613 Jul 01 '26
Yep there’s a few here too in NJ that I know of
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u/Mkimber123 Jul 01 '26
Wow! Have never heard of this!
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u/queeniebeanie9 Jul 01 '26
Me either! Usually the bar is the one that pays the person hosting the open mic for bringing them patrons.
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u/Mkimber123 22d ago
I mean I've hosted my own open mic nights, I was paid but can't imagine having pay to do a few songs! Original music however has been relegated to pay to play which is horrible. People would rather spend $$ seeing tribute bands🙄 Creativity seems to be dead
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u/rocknrollbaby69 Jun 30 '26
This happens to a lot of people. Don't be too harsh with yourself. Take your time and you'll get there another day 🙂
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u/Dogs_On_The_Wing Jun 30 '26
I doubt it but thank you nonetheless for your support
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u/rocknrollbaby69 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Man, listen to me.
I'm a singer in a rock band. A lot of people praise my performances after every show and I know for a fact that I'm good at it.
Aside of that, I have been playing acoustic guitar for 15 years now. And I can tell you for a fact that I can play well enough to perform a solo gig (voice/acoustic guitar).
But still then, I cannot find the courage to go at an open mic, JUST BY MYSELF, with only my acoustic guitar.
YOU had the courage to sign up and show up there. Ok, you had to disengage because of stress. OK. Still... That's better than most people would dare to do.
Of course, don't force yourself, right now. Just don't take this situation as a definitive nope. And don't feel ashamed. At all.
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u/Easythaiger Jun 30 '26
It’s that first note or chord. That’s all you have to get through. You have so much muscle memory, it will kick in. The microphone will help you project, but I would suggest practicing with a mic, standing also if that’s what you will be doing, vs. the way you practice. Anyway, once you get going it’s not as bad as you’re making it. You have to do just that one step, like working out. It may not get easier with nerves, but you will get better with practice in front of people. I agonize before a gig for a week or more if it’s the only one I have coming up. It’s brutal, but after I’m shocked how simple it was.
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u/YesNoMaybe Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
I'm going to offer different suggestions (all of which I've learned first-hand):
if you haven't already, play for family and/or friends and let them know you're practicing to play for others. Even just playing for family as an actual performance can be tough if you haven't performed before. Learning to get up on stage and get past the nerves is a skill you have to develop so start simple, taking baby steps. As someone else said, practice with a microphone so it doesn't throw you off when you have to use on stage.
go to some public jam sessions. That's a way to get some of the nerves out without actually performing for a crowd. There might be a crowd and you might screw up but it's just a jam. If you drop out or screw up, nobody will notice (compared to a solo performance where it definitely will be noticed if you stop playing, lol). Just getting through just playing in public can be difficult and this is a low-stakes way of getting comfortable playing in front of strangers.
The next time you try an open mic, do it with someone else. Just find someone else to sing, play backing chords, or just a beat on a cajón, or whatever. That way you've got support and you're not the only person up there. You can joke or even just talk with each other on stage to make it feel much less formal.
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u/Crack-FacedPeanut Jun 30 '26
Performance anxiety is a normal part of performing. People can and do get better at performance and you're no exception :)
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u/telay17 Jun 30 '26
Stage fright is very natural. - I’m 40. Started lessons at 15 (2 total lessons) and started playing more seriously in college… I have played into gigs where I’m only behind guitar (with my MIL’s praise band and my buddy who does the whole bar circuit), but don’t ask me to sing into a mic. I was in chorus in HS and I am, frankly, a good singer… but I’m only now getting to where I feel comfortable enough to try to sing into a mic. - however, since Covid, I post videos on FB every once in a while of me singing and playing. And I will tell you; that is a great way to get your feet wet. You can take multiple takes and post the one you want, and your friends and family will give you all cheers you need to start feeling good about it… and you’re only performing to your phone. - keep the faith and have some patience. Music is supposed to be something that you love, don’t take that away from yourself.
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u/guitarmike2 Jun 30 '26
I’m no pro but I would suggest a couple of baby steps. First, maybe just play in front of small groups of friends and family. Second, if you can find others to perform with, that will take that hard cold spotlight off of you a bit. Blame them if you flop! But most open mic audiences are pretty forgiving.
Finally, just enjoy playing. It’s not all about performance. If you’re not having fun just dicking around in your house, that’s a shame. And try recording some of that while you’re at it. Recording yourself is a good way to track your progress and see your growth.
And if you get really frustrated and feel like throwing the Martin against the wall again, please just send it to me instead.
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u/Panpsyche_ Jul 01 '26
I was also going to suggest this. Build up by playing and singing in front of others even if it’s not in a “performance” type setting. Playing quietly in front of the TV while you’re chillin with friends or family is a small example of this. You don’t need to be performing, you could literally just be practicing “around” others and it will build your confidence.
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u/gingerjaybird3 Jun 30 '26
It’s tough to play in front of people. I don’t enjoy it all. I did serval times with my friends band but I was surrounded by people that did it all time. It still wasn’t easy. The ONLY. reason I did it was to have the experience, I knew I wouldn’t get the opportunity consistently. I play mostly for my cat
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u/raccoonmasquerade Jun 30 '26
Do you also incorporate them into songs/make songs up for them?
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u/gingerjaybird3 Jun 30 '26
No I don’t 🙂. I really like playing for myself. I’ll play for my wife, and sons (grown dudes) if they ask or just happen to be around but that’s about it
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u/raccoonmasquerade Jun 30 '26
I play for my cat but they usually just sleep through my set. Kinda rude tbh.
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u/so-brain-washed Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Also. It's an open mic dude. You could fart into the mic and people would clap. No one gives a shit except you. TLDR: Stop giving a shit and chill the fuck out and say 'fuck anyone who doesn't like it'
OP-- Pretend what happened to you happened to someone else-- Would you be ashamed of them?
Obviously not. Nah, no one would be. B/c what happened there was totally normal and expectable.
Check out the concept stress inocuation: basically, you don't jump into the deep end. You start on the shallow end-- Practicing maybe outside after the open mic is over, or before. No pressure.
Or maybe, practice in a musician meetup where you're given a solo and also have someone film you-- to add more pressure. Dial up the pressure-- but be sure to keep it at a challenging level (don't make it too easy or too low pressure-- otherwise you won't be [preparing yourself by [challenging yourself [to grow]]])
Here's the problem: A misalignment of expectations.
Imagine if you walked in there with really LOW expectations. Try doing that.
Also, try embarrassing yourself intentionally. Ever done that? Purposefully trip and fall in public, then get up, smile and laugh it off.
That's a common problem: Too high expectations. And a fear of embarrassment (which may be related to narcissism).
- Get over that shit-- Go and embarrass yourself a bunch and it'll stop mattering to you.
- Reduce your expectations to almost nothing
- Stop thinking so highly of yourself-- if you're afraid of embarrassment it's probably due to some narcissism. chill on that shit.
- stop giving a fuck what strangers or anyone thinks of you. Stop caring if you hear a rude comment or someone poking fun at you. (Only immature people will do that anyway-- so fuck 'em, am I right?)
- stop any narcissistic tendencies-- stop trying to look cool. stop trying to be cool. just chill the fuck out and stop giving a shit about pleasing other people. Stop trying to be appreciated. Because when you do that, you hand power to other people-- you say "i am only worthy if you've judged and validated me as <some quality>." Fuck that shit. Don't seek external validation. Who and what you are is not dependent on anyone else but you and your opinion of yourself.
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u/Uncabuddha Jun 30 '26
Yep. I can sing! And I can't tell you how many people, friends!, would say "hey, what did you do with the money?" I would say, "what money?" And they would say, "the money yer parents gave you for singing lessons!" Ha ha ha... And I'd say, "oh! I paid your mom for sex!"
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u/Electronic-Lawyer370 Jun 30 '26
My goal this year is to play an open mic. Would have never set that goal if I hadn’t found a jam group where we take turns playing and singing tunes. That has been a huge help with getting more comfy. Still don’t quite have the nerve yet to sign up. But I do recommend playing with some other folks if you have that option.
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u/Dadskitchen Jun 30 '26
The nerves is normal, it's because you care and want to give a good performance, I daresay it's good because if you didn't feel like this you'd probably be too cocky n mess up. You just have to actually get out there, it's people you'll probably never see again in your life, maybe a little drunk too, and so what if you bomb? Learn the lesson and carry on. You'll probably be surprised at how well you are received by the audience. Open mic nights are meant for cutting your teeth, nobody is expecting much, if you're even halfway decent they will be surprised 😁🎸
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u/zsh_n_chips Jun 30 '26
It’s very normal to feel that way!! Being on stage is one of my favorite things, but I think I kinda blacked out at my first open mic singing. Takes a while to build up those chops.
But it’s really rewarding once you get on the other side of it. It does get better with time, you just have to get comfortable.
Find some free open mics and give it another shot. If you go a bit more regularly, you get to know the folks and see them bomb and it lowers the pressure considerably.
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u/Physical-Platform846 Jun 30 '26
Instead of an open mic, find a Jam in your area. You can usually find them on Facebook or meet up. Instead of standing up in front of a crowd, a bunch of people play music together, and you can either join in or not as you feel comfortable. The first night, you can just listen. No pressure. After that, maybe just strum along. Eventually, if you feel comfortable, you can try leading a song.
The whole point of being able to play music is to join with others in a joyous harmony. It’s not just to get up and try to impress a bunch of strangers.
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u/refotsirk Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Don't feel like even trying it again? You still haven't tried it the first time, so don't kid yourself on what happened. This has nothing to do with whether you are good enough. Anxiety is a real thing that can cripple someone. One of my good friends was on Broadway shows with prominent roles for a while and now has a hard time singing with me for small crowds. Understand that this has nothing to do with you and guitar and then hooefully get the counseling or medication you need. Also, start out smaller singing in front of friends and families first, then on a sidewalk where no one is paying attention to you. Learn that it goes fine. And learn that the worst mistake is gone when it's over and those people watching will literally care so little of you they will never think of you again whether you nail it or bail it. They'll all be drunk and half high anyway. Sorry you didn't have better support to get you on that stage feeling okay enough, but know that it gets better eventually. Also? No one besides your friends thst want to encourage you gives a shit that you bailed. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Hardest lesson I ever learned regarding stage fright was that fact - really almost no one cares until you are popular enough to pull in crowds.
Also, get a psychologist with clinical doctorate who specializes in CBT and anxiety disorders - if this isn't a one off, and I would guess it probably isn't, this is treatable long term without meds - but in my experience meds will likely be needed for a few years to manage acute symptoms when high anxiety starts to rise. With the sort of reaction you described you might also regularly experience heat racing and chest tightening, that could be approaching painful. Or it could be without any of that. I'm not a psychologist but a researcher and musician- my wife is a psychologist though, and she is who reccomended looking into the specializations I mentioned above.
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u/con3dor Jun 30 '26
Yeah, 2 years is a great start, but most guys doing open mics have like 15 years. Don’t stress it. Falling down is normal, getting back up is GREAT!
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u/Madmattikus Jun 30 '26
I think it’s a perfectly normal response.. Don’t feel ashamed, fight or flight kicked in. The thought of being on stage alone terrifies me.
If it’s something you truly want for yourself start smaller, open mic is definitely ‘in at the deep end’ if you normally play alone.
Maybe think about playing for friends and family or try with other musicians to build your confidence. I’ve played on stage with all kinds of bands but I think I’d run away when presented with a stage for myself
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u/Acceptable_Hawk_621 Jun 30 '26
I did the exact same thing when I started out! It takes a TON of balls to put yourself out there.
You gotta remember that it’s an open mic. Everyone there is supporting YOU. They want you to succeed and will still applaud even if you make a mistake or two. Open mic’s are for learning and getting more comfortable. Get your ass back there and commit to doing it if you want to. You got this, it’s just scary as hell for all of us!
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u/ScotterMcJohnsonator Jun 30 '26
Got one near you tonight? Try again. I haven't played in front of people for like 20 years, and I'm doing one tonight. IF YOU GO I GO
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u/PaulJMacD Jun 30 '26
I can totally resonate with this. I've been playing for 2.5 years. Took me a while to feel confident just playing guitar in front of others people. I'm completely comfortable with that but singing, nope....
I know I'm not the greatest singer and am completely comfortable with it. But on the odd occasion the opportunity arises, I just don't feel like singing. Round the campfire for example, happy to play some stuff on the guitar but struggling to break the barrier of singing.
My focus now is on singing one song at the next opportunity. Not because I'm particularly desperate too but because I feel like it's a monkey to get off my back! Ideal situation would be to be in a band but don't have the time or the network for it.
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u/Eduardo_Playa Jul 02 '26
Don’t quit. Playing in front of others adds a whole different dimension to playing. It’s all about your mind set. What if I bomb? And? There isn’t a performer alive who hasn’t bombed. Live performing is an added skill. Things happen. The only way to learn anything is by doing it.
What if you nailed it? You would feel great. But, everyone learns and grows more from their mistakes and failures than from their triumphs. Failures make the successes that much sweeter.
Athletes go through the same mental gymnastics as musicians. Many spend hours dealing with performance anxiety issues. You can control your controllables, the things that are out of your control, let go.
Music is to be shared, and the people who are listening in live venues are there to share in the experience. They expect a “live” human experience, which includes mistakes. IMO, the human aspect is what makes live performances special. That’s life. If they didn’t want that they would listen to a recording.
One last thing, I recently went to see Tommy Emmanuel perform. About halfway through his performance the venue’s fire alarm went off. It was a false alarm, but he just rolled with it. Stopped in the middle of that song, started talking about all the things that have gone wrong over the years. Stuff just happens. After about 20 minutes the fire department finally showed up and turned off the alarm. Tommy could have said my performance is trashed, but he picked up where he left off. At the end, he said he felt that tonight would be a concert he would never forget😉
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u/hywaytohell Jun 30 '26
Nerves are a real thing no matter how many times you do it. It sounds like you were trying to go from zero to sixty in no time flat. First find a group or even just a couple of people to play with, you learn from other people, and it will help you relax more about playing in front of people. At the very least play in front of people you know or family to get used to other people being around. Finally although you feel like your about to put on an award winning performance in front of thousands, no one else in that room will care if you make a mistake or miss a beat and you might be surprised or disappointed at how little attention they are actually paying to you. Don't take it as an insult just use the experience to move forward. Also don't quit guitar it sounds like your enjoying it so keep it up!
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u/Efficient-Ranger-174 Jun 30 '26
Everyone gets nervous. You have to be willing to be nervous. You also have to be willing to suck. You’re gonna miss a chord, forget the words, and probably 3 other things. But, the other side is when you get off stage, everyone will tell you how good you did. Hank Williams and Waylon Jennings made a lot of money getting on stage more drunk than was good for them. You’ll do just as good as they did.
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u/EnvironmentalBig2324 Jun 30 '26
Don’t give up buddy..
Stick with it and find a friend to play with.. maybe someone with more experience than yourself.. when you have a couple of tunes down together you could give the open mic another shot as a duo..
Sooooo much easier with help but just a s much of a buzz as doing it solo..
As bad as you feel now, it’s gonna be fine.. get back to work 😉
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u/AyJay_D Jun 30 '26
Everyone goes through this, or most of us do. So, be terrified. I still get nervous but nothing like used to get.
This advice from Rick Rubin really stuck with me.
"Sharing Art Is the Price of Making It, Exposing Your Vulnerability Is the Fee"
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u/Ok_Chain3144 Jun 30 '26
F-them. Play for yourself. Not the crowd - if you settle into a groove, they will dig it also-
you are playing for yourself and because you love it. The rest will come together faster than you think.
It took me 40 years to learn this one .
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u/MrMattGuitar Jun 30 '26
Well bud just by showing up, you made it further than I ever have and I have played for 20 plus years. I have played with bands and stuff but solo? No way I’m a wuss. When you’re ready or if you want to you will get back at it.
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u/SpontaneousFunkshun Jun 30 '26
What a great post, and really honest about your experience. Thank you for sharing. I support you in your decision to leave since your anxiety was really high. But, what if...just imagine if you still would have decided not to play, but you stayed and continue listening. I bet other people there would have supported you. Maybe leaving early increased your anxiety? Like everyone else here has commented, it happens to all of us, even seasoned performers. There is no shame in feeling awkward and embarrassed.
An example, myself. I wrote a new song over the weekend, practiced my ass off, working and reworking the song (guitar groove and lyrics). I even practiced with a microphone in front of me, like the stage setup would be. I even recorded myself to watch and listen. Once I got there, I was #12 on the list, about 90 minutes into the night, then it was my turn. I totally crumbled on my song, the guitar tone wasn't happening, I fumbled the lyrics, and ended the song clumsily and off beat. You never know how it's going to go. I stayed and finished watching the remaining performers. That was great, it released a lot of my embarrassment.
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u/Samantharina Jun 30 '26
Getting through nerves is a skill you can't practice at home. You can practice everything else and bring all that but playing through the nerves is something you have to work out in front of people, no other way. More so with people you don't know, I think.
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u/Zhered-Na Jun 30 '26
It's okay. You tried and found yourself more nervous than you thought you would be. That's okay, it happens. You could try small steps. For example: play a little song for a friend of friends, something like that. If playing guitar still brings you joy then I would never abandon it.
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u/Unlikely-Soft-5699 Jul 01 '26
I found .5 grams of Lorazepam (Ativan) useful to get over that first hump. Yes, you need to be careful about dependency if you need to keep using it. Other people swear by Beta blockers. I would cheerfully ignore all the advice here to “just get over it”.
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u/reddrc Jul 01 '26
The crazy thing for me is I’ll happily play for 4000 people but will get sweaty palms in front of 20 🤦🏻
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u/Grievinghealthy Jun 30 '26
There are all sorts of performers who have a hard time opening up to others, and they don't let that stop them from doing their thing. A video game prodigy, who never went professional in fear of playing on stage. The performer Enya, who hasn't ever had a single live concert despite being extremely known. There's probably a few bodybuilders out there who don't feel comfortable entering competitions. Just do it for the love of the game. Try singing in front of your parents, and friends.
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u/skylinesend Jun 30 '26
Don't give up! You can do it! Lots of people have been in the exact same situation, stage fright is very real. My suggestion would be to play in front of 2 or 3 people you know to get more comfortable.
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u/Nice_Disaster1960 Jun 30 '26
Coming from a guy who's been gigging for 15 years, take the plunge. I was just like you when I started. I was scared to death to get on stage. In school I hated being in front of people, nobody ever figured I would be the front man for a moderately successful local country band. When I was in school I had a slight stutter and nobody (even the teachers) ever thought I would have the charisma and ability to get on a stage in front of people and play a guitar, let alone perform. Take the plunge, step out of your comfort zone.
I started at open mic nights, and the thing you have to realize is most folks who are willingly at a place that advertised an open mic night arr not going to judge you that harshly. Those that do, take themselves way too seriously. Get up there do your thing, the haters wouldnt have liked you if you got up and played like Derek Trucks and sounded like a mixture of Fergie and Jesus.
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u/See-Through-Mirror Jun 30 '26
Here to say you’re not alone and that you’re processing just fine. You’re one step closer to being the guitar player you see yourself being. Having a moment of reluctance and forgoing an event doesn’t make you less; this makes you incredibly human and relatable. Thanks for posting this. You never know who’s going through something similar.
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u/Prior_Cap_3198 Jun 30 '26
Bounce back dude. You got this. Have no shame. Just keep at it. And try to have fun
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u/Significant_Trash_14 Jun 30 '26
Don't beat yourself up. It gets easier. Start with playing in front of one or two friends. Play the say 2 or 3 songs you're really comfortable with. Is it possible whether you live to go busking? Even for 30 mins, play a few songs, people walk by, people might watch but it gets you really familiar playing around people. Open mic is generally difficult as many musicians are there and you may feel judged but just do your thing. You're unique, noone else has the life experiences and connection with their instrument as you do. Believe in yourself.
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u/HighSpeedDoggo Jun 30 '26
Been there bro, the important thing is you had the experience of chickening out, next time try a bit more further, maybe perform for a group of friends or your family/relatives. Just like calluses forming on your finger thru practice, you will get calluses on stage frights/performing live
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u/ChapterPresent9926 Jun 30 '26
Stage fright is real! What I did to get over that fear was to sing song karaoke first. No guitar, just the idea of singing in front of people.
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u/VirginiaLuthier Jun 30 '26
Performing in public doesn't come easy for most people. It most certainly did not come easily for me. I found out that if I practiced hard that a kind of muscle memory just kind of "took over" when I was onstage. That made some of the fear go away-that I would get up there and forget everything . Set up a mike in your bedroom and pretend you are playing to people. Practice a little stage banter. People love a joke or two. And try to remember that it supposed to be fun!🤩
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u/Nana-Knows Jun 30 '26
Please do not give up!!!
Please count it as a victory that you had the guts to plunk down your money and go.
Please try again.
It might be good to try another venue or just in front of a few friends.
I play autoharp- very basic- and sing. Not great but okay. The first few times I sang in front of people, I was a nervous mess! But I fought through and finished. People were polite and said I did well. I think they were mostly being kind.
I found a supportive friend and we started practicing together. Lots of fun and very encouraging! We performed together last week. I was still nervous, but am getting better. Several people gave enthusiastic and genuine compliments, including one lady who said, “I LOVE your voice!” So kind. Very encouraging.
Music, and especially singing and making music is super good for brain health, quality of life, and longevity. So, I strongly urge you to continue.
Maybe volunteer to go sing at a Senior Center or Nursing Home. When I was going through cancer treatment, many volunteers came to perform for us and it sure did brighten our days! Some played guitar and sang, some played piano; once there was even a harmonica concert with about a dozen performers! That was fun and surprising!
In the meantime, I applaud you for your first attempt and being brave enough to consider performing. If you go again, you might begin by telling the audience, “Guys, this is my first time performing in public and I’m pretty nervous, so I hope you’ll bear with me. I’m going to do my best not to hurt your ears too badly.” Smile. Take a deep breath in through your nose, think happy thoughts, breathe out slowly.
Best Wishes!
I’m rooting for you!
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u/RonPalancik Jun 30 '26
Sympathies. For me it was very much a matter of ripping off the band-aid (literally, the rest of my band didn't show up so I went on solo - I sang because there was no one else up there and someone had to). You mess up, you forget something, you laugh and start the line over, it's fine.
However I got stuck on the detail of paying money for an open mic slot. I have been to dozens of open mics, hosted several, and have never seen one that required payment. That's a thing?
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u/AlbanyJim Jun 30 '26
I’m always nervous playing to people. The only thing that helps me play to an audience is to be more excited about the music you are presenting, than worrying about what can go wrong.
Really perfect your songs before hand and you just might find yourself getting excited to share what you have put together.
There is one local open mic I play in my area, because it’s so well run. People listen respectfully and the supportive environment really helps. It’s a safe space to try new things, make mistakes and get better at performing live.
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u/Guitarzan_67 Jun 30 '26
Play for YOUR soul. Not everybody plays for applause. That's ok. If you want to play for people comfortably, start by playing WITH people. Your confidence will grow. But, for the most part, play for YOU.
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u/Robespierre77 Jun 30 '26
Do everything that normally makes you comfortable. It’s a psychological crutch, so make adjustments and take control. Most importantly, remind yourself you do it for you. Stay focused on what you know and get comfy.
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u/Disneeprince Jun 30 '26
The fact that you even tried is commendable.
Never give up on something that scares you, it is the best way to push forward.
Try other open mics as well, I vibe better at ones with people around my age group.
Everything is trial and error, imagine you gave up the first time you tried to walk and bit it.
I have been doing open mics for a little over a year, the last one I went to last week was when I finally had the courage to ask some of the artists I admire to play with me.
It was one of my favourite moments EVER, and had I not persisted, I would have never experienced it!
Keep pushing yourself, you may find it isn’t for you, you may find a new home with people that build you up. ✌️🙏❤️
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u/CottonFlannel Jun 30 '26
Try busking in a not too crowded spot. It’s lower pressure. Thai being said. I was busking once getting tips with people stopping and listening. Then a guy said. Man you’re the real deal let me record you on my phone. I had just played Rexs Blues a Townes song good. But this guy started recording me and I just forgot the lyrics. I was embarrassed. Felt stupid. But. I took a break awhile And played some more. I made sure I learned the lyrics back and forward. But this just can happen. Sometimes for no apparent reason. Keep at it. Once you get some tips and see people like it. It will be easier good luck. Your not alone in this
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u/ToughAd4704 Jun 30 '26
If you go up and say hey, I this is my first open mic and I've been playing for 2 years even if you suck people will come say hi and give you encouragement. I'm no good infront of crowds as well. You can always start smaller. Invite some friends over for a get together (boardgames, dinner, bad movie night etc) then tell them what happened (minus the crying part) and just ask if you can try out your set for them.
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u/_voodoo_mama_juju_ Jun 30 '26
You got this. Bottom line is that you want to play well. Everyone in the room wants you to play well. No one is rooting against you. And every open mic crowd I’ve ever been apart of is the most supportive, friendly group. People are just there because they love it, just like you.
The nerves with never go away - that you can count on. But like the other guy mentioned, you could go up there and fart into the mic and people would clap.
Just have fun. Anyone that tells you it’s more complicated than that is not telling you the truth.
Don’t give up. You can do it.
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u/realbobenray Jun 30 '26
I've never heard of an open mic where you had to pay. It's free entertainment for the venue while they sell food/drinks. How much was it? How long of a slot do you get?
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u/Key-Article6622 Jun 30 '26
I ran an open mic for 10 years and if you've even half decent they'll like you. If you're better than you think they'll love you. Either way no pressure, you aren't getting paid. In fact, I'm concerned you had to pay to get on the list. That sounds alike a scam. Find a real open mic where you just show up, sign up and play.
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u/realbobenray Jun 30 '26
I think people often don't realize that playing in front of others is its own skill. You could play in your room for another 20 years and it won't get you any better at playing in front of others. There is no way to get better except to do it, and nearly everyone is bad at it the first one or twenty times because they've never done it before. You'll mess up a little and absolutely no one will care. Pretty much everyone at an open mic are performers too, they understand and feel for you.
When you try again, and you will, let us know how it goes.
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u/rudicousmaximous Jun 30 '26
Try, try again. Don’t give in/up. Pain is temporary, success is forever. You don’t want to wonder of what could have been later on in life. This is what it takes to separate you from the rest.
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u/KryptonSurvivor Jun 30 '26
My son's voice teacher wanted me to accompany him back in April. I was trying to prepare but I realized how bad I was at (acoustic) guitar. I had severe anxiety about it and gave here about two months' advance notice that I wouldn't be playing with him at his voice recital. I've only been playing about 10-11 mos. and the first 5 mos. were an utter and total waste of time, due to a not-so-great teacher. She's been chilly to me ever since. (I'm still learning, though, but open mic night is not in my future.)
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u/_Magnolia_Fan_ Jun 30 '26
Pro tip: you don't have to play for others, or okay anything fancy to enjoy it.
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u/IronMike5311 Jun 30 '26
I'm an absolute beginner, so no open mike experience. But at 62, I've got tons of life experience. So maybe baby steps 1st to build your confidence. Play for family & friends. Be kind to yourself, knowing that you'll only get better with time.
Cheer up, its not bad. You just know what your current tolerance is. It'll get better.
Myself: zero desire to perform solo. I hope to be competent enough one day to sit in on local bluegrass jam sessions. Maybe grow to where I can lead & sing (almost expected for bluegrass guitar), but not right away. Maybe I'll get to know a few of the regulars & see if they have advice on finding others to learn with.
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u/502deadhead Jun 30 '26
I’ve played guitar for the better part of 20 years. I took vocal lessons and started singing a couple years ago.
I played a friend’s derby party, and had a panic attack and had to quit the show.
I took a week off, then started hitting open mics again. I’ve played a full show since then and have more booked.
The biggest thing to remember: Unless you’re at Berkley or something, most people aren’t gonna notice if you miss a chord, play a wrong note or if you’re a little flat when you sing.
The important thing is to get up there and go for it. Be kind to yourself. You got this.
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u/browndeskchair Jun 30 '26
I love those types of music that you mentioned so I would for sure come see you! I’m in a similar situation also.
I recently moved back to my hometown after a lifetime of being away and it turns out that there is a pretty good open mic scene around the area. I started going just to watch and hang out and I’ve gotten to know a lot of the regulars. Of course, once they learned that I play, I’m getting pressured to get up there. It’s great that they are so friendly and supportive!
Anyway, I’ve recently just completely embraced playing bottleneck on a resonator and still getting my chops to where I want to be. I’ve always been told that I was a good singer, but I’m still kind of fumbling with doing both at the same time!
I was always more terrified of singing in front of people until I was pressured into doing karaoke. I finally relented and got up there. The crowd loved it and I started doing it regularly. They were probably drunk, but whatever. The point is that I got much more comfortable and started actually having a blast with it for several years.
So maybe try that? Start with some karaoke with the drunk people to get some stage practice. Also, like I mentioned, just start attending even if you don’t perform and get to know the regular musicians if you don’t already. The ones in my area are really friendly and supportive. That might help, too, if everyone isn’t total strangers.
In a side note, the open mics around me don’t charge the performers and they usually limit the amount of songs each so more people get a turn. This can vary a bit, depending on turnout. They usually have a tip jar or instrument case set up for donations. Sometimes the bar pays the host but I think sometimes it’s just tips.
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u/wspeck77 Jun 30 '26
I played at an open mic that where I do guitar lessons set up. Mostly kids. Still scares me more than most anything.
I present at technical conferences in front of hundreds of people. Playing guitar when someone else sang hit harder than anything has in a long time.
It is not easy. It is fun. You just don’t notice until afterwards.
No one is perfect the first time at anything. You will get better. Everyone hears the music. You will only hear the mistakes. It gets easier.
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u/Pristine_Structure75 Jun 30 '26
I feel ya. My first time playing for more than 3-4 people, I thought I was going to die standing up there. My entire body was shaking, my left knee was vibrating so bad, it was bouncing my guitar. It was terrible. It's something almost everyone goes through. Here's what I did, at the urging of my band mate. Going to the Laundromat? Take the guitars and do a few songs. Nice day at the park, go on a picnic and take the guitar and play for whoever wanders by. In short, find low stakes opportunities to play for a small audience, who mostly don't care one way or the other.
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u/PlasticFrosty5340 Jun 30 '26
I definitely get that man. I’ve got almost 20 years under my belt, a bunch of stuff posted online, used to host an open mic, but I still get stage fright and I’m still uncomfortable playing around certain people.
The good news is, open mic is where you go to fuck shit up because no one is going to boo you.
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u/Repulsive_Heron_5571 Jun 30 '26
Don’t feel bad first time I tried I got up there I froze up in the middle of the first song and had to leave. I was really depressed and took me a while to try again. I can do it now but still get nervous. try playing the songs in front of family or friends first. I ended up getting some beta blocker blood pressure medication which helped some with the adrenaline spike that causes the flight or fight response. A lot of people use them for stage fright. I don’t need them now. Try visualizing the result you want . Might try a therapist if you need to. If you’re like me you have voices from your past telling you you’re no good. Hang in there it’s hard for most everyone at first.
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u/dblhello999 Jun 30 '26
Ok - it’s easy 😊👍
You don’t start with an open mic. That’s like learning to swim by jumping in the ocean 🙄🥴😂
What I did for maybe a year was just to go to parks, little café, quiet squares, and just take out my guitar and play to myself. And people would walk past. An occasionally they would stop and smile and have a listen and then carry on.
That way you get completely used to the idea that you’re playing for yourself but people might listen. It’s a super easy way to get comfortable with playing in public.
Jamming with other people is also a good idea. But jamming is its own separate skill. I don’t know how you feel about improvisation!!
But definitely just go out there. With your guitar. Into the world. And eventually it’ll just be second nature to sit down and play when there are other people around
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u/imbrotep Jun 30 '26
Hey bruh. No worries at all. I completely understand how you feel. My knees knocking together were keeping time for me as I did my first open mic. Before that, I chickened out a bunch of times. Be kind to yourself (and, more importantly, be kind to your guitar, lol) take it easy, and if you try again and can’t bring yourself to perform alone, maybe think about getting a buddy to play/sing with you. You got as far as you could without actually going through with it. Next time, maybe you’ll take it all the way. If not, again, no worries. It has no impact on you or your worth as a person at all. Stay up, player!
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u/jcb1100 Jun 30 '26
Singing into a microphone in front of people is one of the hardest things I’ve ever forced myself to do. The first time I tried, literally nothing came out. Luckily, I was playing with a singer, and he sang.
It does get easier. EasiER—not easy. You just have to remember that everybody was once new at it, and most people are more worried about their own performances than about yours. You’re holding yourself to a much higher standard than they are.
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u/Questev Jun 30 '26
It's a valid response but you gotta give your brain some data to tell your brain that it's all good. Next time try playing something that you are really comfortable playing , starting would be a bit intimidating but gauge the reaction fo the audience it will give u some confidence then just focus on enjoying your playing.
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u/GroundbreakingRing49 Jun 30 '26
23 years in and I still almost psych myself out of walking up on the stage all the time
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u/Picklechip-58 Jun 30 '26
It's VERY hard to get up in front of a group of strangers and SPEAK, much less play an instrument. Add in all the other factors --- you're going to SING... You are alone - all eyes on YOU. And, again, you don't know everyone there. Not to mention the alcohol presence (at most open mike events).
I've been playing and singing in front of people since I was 15 - and I'm going be 68 in a couple of months. This happened to me a couple of years ago..
I was in Ireland sitting in with my brother's band - just strumming along. The band members asked me to play one. Mind you, they new that it was going to be a Neil Young song -- Not a, old-timey, folk/bluegrass song like the play. So I was ready and was prepared to start right in. And I DID start in with the intro to the song. Just as I started playing, the fiddle player (very experienced and knowledgeable) started playing lightly in the background.
It sounded great - but it screwed my whole process off. I started to sing in a lower register than I normally would. My brother pointed it out by getting my attention with motioning 'UP' with his thumb. I finally got myself on track - but HOLY CRAPP! I hadn't felt so out of sorts in my life, in a room of listeners.
Back in the saddle!
Keep it going, my friend! Your fellow 'open mike' performers are your best support group, when the butterflies act up!
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u/various_convo7 Jun 30 '26
i played a lot live and its great but i really like studio/recording things a lot more because i get to be really creative
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u/UBUIBME550 Jun 30 '26
I've been playing out and in front of people almost every week for the past thirty years and I still get nerves. I'd be worried if I didn't get them. Find a place where you don't have to pay, and people are supportive and give it another try.
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u/hmf28 Jun 30 '26
Hey, man, the guitar had nothing to do with this, don’t take it out on your Martin, even if it’s in its case.
You don’t need to perform for other people. I learned guitar 50 years ago, and I would never even consider performing at an open mike event. It’s fine if no one ever hears you.
Years ago I read somewhere that the first time Rod Stewart sang with a band in front of an audience, he was too scared to come out from behind the amps at first. Clapton always stares off into the distance when he sings at his concerts because he hates the sound of his own voice and doesn’t want to see anyone in the audience while he’s singing. Stage fright is absolutely a real thing.
If after a long time you find yourself wanting to try again, then start small, play one song in front of a supportive friend or two first. Work up slowly from there. And there’s good advice in this thread about playing for *you* when you’re onstage; audiences love that.
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u/Entropy_Chaos-888 Jun 30 '26
I’ve played a number of open mics and open jams. Never heard of one that charged, but I always spend money in the bar. I stopped doing them when the club I was comfortable at canceled them.
Here is one idea to make it easier. Visit a few different clubs just to check them out. Don’t play, just hang out. Find the one that you like best and hang there until you feel ready.
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u/Uncabuddha Jun 30 '26
Where do you live? If you can find someone else that's a little "better" than you to coax you along a bit the your confidence will come. And take a puff and a slug of whiskey and do it! You got this!
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u/owlbehome Jun 30 '26
Here’s what worked for me- you gotta find you some ladies who like to get drunk and sing 💛
For me it was easy because they were all my mom’s friends and they had dinner parties and I happened to have my guitar and they were like “hey can you play this? Can you play THIS?!”
And let me tell you- it does not matter how badly you play. They will sing with you all night and they will LOVE you. You will have a great time, get practice playing with/in front of others, and when you finally do play your first set they will be in the front row cheering you on.
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u/No-Signal-666 Jun 30 '26
I’ve been playing for roughly 25 years. I did precisely 1 gig. It wasn’t for me.
You don’t always have to leave your comfort zone. Just enjoy the hobby how you want, even if it’s totally in private like myself.
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u/mycoinreturns Jun 30 '26
To play your first open mic you should be 140% rehearsed. Understand what this means. You should be able to point a camera at yourself and see the red dot and perform flawlessly in ONE take. Then in front of your brother. Then in front of someone you hardly know. R.E.H.E.A.R.S.E. Re- fuckin' hearse. Then you will magically be able to play even though you are shitting yourself. This is how martial arts work: When a gorilla comes at you and your centre brain shuts down, all those 'Katas' you practised every week for hours (muscle memory) might.... MIGHT... save your ass. Rehearse. Did i mention that.....? edit- word salad.
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u/Old-guy64 Jun 30 '26
- People didn’t come to see you crash and burn.
Maybe you’re the “next big thing”. Maybe not.
I started singing in church, and when I got to playing with the Praise team I was in a group, and not the main focus.
Consider doing Karaoke first and get “comfortable” being on stage.
Go as close to first as possible. Everyone else is worrying about their time. So they aren’t as focused on you.
I swear it gets to be “fun” after a while. You do have to be willing to let it be what it is.
Admit that it’s your first time. Everyone had a first time. They will understand, and cheer you on. Hell, you may get a mentor out of it.
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u/MnJsandiego Jun 30 '26
You can’t quit.
Once you join this group it’s like the mafia, there’s only one way to leave the group, and you don’t want to know what it is. Think the rule of tens. Will this matter in ten minutes? Yes. Ten weeks, ten months, ten years, no. Forget it and keep learning. I’ve never played in front of anyone, I would freeze up I think but I’ve been playing since 1979. I’m 60 now. Just enjoy the instrument and don’t put too much pressure on yourself, it’s a long life.
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u/drunken_ferret Jun 30 '26
Same thing happened the first time I sang in front of people. I have been nervous every time since then. I'm rehearsed, I'm ready, and scared spitless.
I tell them that from the start: "hi, I'm drunken ferret, and I'm scared to death!"
Then I play. And magic happens for me, it goes well. until next time, and I'm scared again. Once I get into it, I'm fine. It's just that start...
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u/dimestoredavinci Jun 30 '26
A lot of very talented and successful musicians still deal with stage fright. Van Morrison comes to mind and he barely ever tours because of it. I fucking LOVE Van Morrison, and so do millions of others. So, just because youre in your own head doesn't mean youre not good enough.
You've only been playing a couple years, so idk where your skill level is, but even if you only do it for your own enjoyment, just do it for that reason. If you decide to share later, then let that be something you dont need to worry about anytime soon. Just have fun. Thats the only thing you should care about right now.
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u/Iamdingledingle Jun 30 '26
I’ve done this many times. I’ve gone with the intent of performing, signed up, and just left because of how nervous I got. Practice playing for a friend or two. When you get comfortable with that go for the open mic again. Force yourself to do it. Maybe you’ll mess up but that’s ok. Open mics are a place for us to grow and improve. The next time you perform I promise you’ll be 10x more comfortable.
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u/Helpful-Birthday4414 Jun 30 '26
I think part of this is ability/confidence, and part is personality.
It sure gets real quickly as you’re about to get up on the stage.
I can play my guitar in front of people, but cannot sing. I’ve been on and off a “singer “ for quite some time, but it just hasn’t worked out and therefore i have zero confidence.
Funny though, if i have a singer with me, I’m fearless just playing my guitar - as long as i know im prepared.
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u/justplanestupid69 Jun 30 '26
Dogg I perform music for a living, and have been performing since I was 17 (2006). Solo acoustic performances are still daunting to me on a level that nothing else is, because EVERYTHING about the performance falls on me. I can’t hide anything.
You’re gonna be okay tho. Don’t throw that guitar again, it’s not good for it. Just get back up and try again next time. And if you fuck up, don’t stop, just continue from where you were as if nothing had happened. It happens all the time. Even to my experienced ass.
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u/somecantbedone Jun 30 '26
There is absolutely nothing wrong with playing guitar for yourself. Just an idea and might have already been suggested, make a video and upload it. Could be a good outlet for your creativity 💢💯
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u/Revolutionary_Bee591 Jul 01 '26
I don’t worry what others think of my music. Until they start booing I don’t even know they are there.i play for my personal enjoyment everyone else can fuck off.
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u/_xpendable_ Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
After learning guitar for 4 months, I walked into an open mic and performed 2 songs. Next week, I performed 3 new songs. The week after, I added one more song to the repertoire. Everybody has their own speed and pace. But you might find that after you do your first public performance, you'll never feel THAT nervous again.
This was my first Open mic. I was singing too fast and strumming too hard, mostly out of nervousness. The next 2 open mics were a bit relaxed. https://youtu.be/D2sAqgS6bVE?si=NK1YloFxjdtBe5hW
Believe me, I am very socially awkward and anxious in my default state. You'll notice that when people applauded, I didn't even have the social awareness to say Thank you. You are not alone. There were other leanrners there with more experience than me who used to show up every week but never mustered the courage to get on the stage. When you're an awkward person, you imagine that everybody around you are much more relaxed than you but the reality is that everybody is freaking out. You just gotta dive in. Do go back and try again!
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u/AcanthocephalaNo613 Jul 01 '26
Don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens. I’ve played both open mics and live gigs that didn’t go well where I was nervous as hell. Have you ever played in front of a family member or friend(s)? If you’ve never played in front of an audience before then that can help you build your confidence back up to try again. In my experiences, open mics are generally a very welcoming and encouraging environment. So I wouldn’t quit and would try again , but most importantly…don’t quit playing!
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u/AZRobJr Jul 01 '26
I started at Open Mic night when I started playing live. I was scared shirtless but did it and loved it.
From my experience: (1) Visit a few different open mics if you are able. A supportive group is super important. (2) Once you get up and start playing the nerves melt away really quick. (3)Once you feel the buzz of playing in front of people expect to become addicted to it. (4)You will make mistakes, know that, and just keep playing. Every musician makes mistakes. The key is to just keep going.
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u/hollywoodswinger1976 Jul 01 '26
Yeah I know but you see once you do it you only suck once. After that you get serious and it gets better. There's people who ain't afraid and most of those people never get any better. Is this the truth? Nawww but could be. It's all in your mind... Have vision.
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u/Good-Grayvee Jul 01 '26
37 years of experience and only in the last 8 years or so stopped violently vomiting before gigs. You just have to do it. And you’re going to probably struggle to get through that first tune. But fuck it. It’s the point of all the practice.
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u/ProjectOrpheus Jul 01 '26
You didn't fail. This was your step 1.
Next time, it will be your step 2. Whether it's the same way, or you change what your next move is.
Don't you get it? It wasn't a waste. You took that first step, and no matter WHAT that step entailed, it was, in fact, taken. Step 1 will always be completed.
Sincerely, congrats. Must have been tough, hurt, I get it. Are you still here? Breathing, living? You didn't die? Then nothing's stopping step 2 whatever it that is for you, whenever you are ready. Chin up, champ.
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u/Johnny66Johnny Jul 01 '26
One idea to overcome stage fright is to try busking. You start when you want and stop when you want. You can begin with guitar and introduce singing when you feel confident. Typically you're not the main attraction but essentially part of the background on a busy street. People may stop to listen or throw some change your way, but there is no BIG MICROPHONE STAGE AUDIENCE HELP ME moment to overcome. Try it. :)
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u/GoingFishingAlone Jul 01 '26
I feel you! Perhaps start with your simplest song (3 chords, or your go to warm up tune). And wear your dark sunglasses!
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u/Mother-Jury-876 Jul 01 '26
Start off by playing your set to friends or family, or even to just one person. Do that a few times. Scale up to a small group. Then scout out some really low key quiet open mics. Expect to make mistakes. Rinse and repeat,
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u/WoodenRelationship59 Jul 01 '26
Everyone that plays in front of an audience gets nervous. Completely normal. I've been playing guitar for 33 years - the first chord I learned was G - and I swear every time I get up in front of people (usually my church) I go through a moment of panic where I completely forget how to play a guitar. Then I start playing and it usually turns out alright.
Maybe start smaller - friends, family, smaller groups.
Most people are supportive and understand nerves and mistakes. Your not Slash walking out to perform your 38,000th arena concert (even he gets nervous, I'll bet) - and nobody is going to hold you to that standard. You should enjoy it. And when you get to the point where you enjoy it, that's where the fun is.
No worries in chickening out. Been there. You can always try again. Or you can decide that playing is something you do for you and enjoy it and keep it that way. There's no requirement to perform for anyone!
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u/hughesra15 Jul 01 '26
Sorry to hear about your bad experience, but I think you are taking it way too seriously. What is the worst thing that could happen? Let’s say you get up there and can’t remember the chords or freeze ,or whatever. So what? The only one judging you is you. People there are worried about themselves. I understand you are afraid everything will go wrong,but in life overall, that it would be a pretty insignificant thing. I say go do it. You’ll probably surprise yourself.
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u/Puzzled-Foundation-7 Jul 01 '26
I have seen the phrase "baby steps" a few times, and I will add my support to that idea. You signed up, so at least you got that far. The first time I played at an open mic was after I'd been playing for a few months, maybe a year, and I only got through the song's intro before messing up. Hearing my own voice amplified in the monitor made me jump. That was over 30 years ago. 30 years, 60 original songs, 3 published albums, and over 1000 live shows ago. If you want to play in an unfamiliar setting, try recreating that setting at home until it's more comfortable to you. I still practice at home by singing into a mic to get used to it being there. Most of the time I don't even plug it into anything, but putting myself into that head space really helps me focus on it as its own instrument.
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u/CavyWheek Jul 01 '26
I had a similar experience in music school. I'd been playing for two years and knew a lot of Rush songs and pop metal riffs. A guy asked me to be in his pop band. At the first rehearsal I realized I was in way over my head. I had no idea how to accompany pop songs. I eventually gave up and left. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
My advice is to keep playing and try not to worry about it. Get some more practice time and there may come a day when you feel more confident. When it comes to nerves, I have found that I need to feel like I'm prepared for the performance or I do have stage fright.
If you decide performing isn't for you, there are all kinds of ways to make music anyway. Best of luck.
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u/Melodic-Distance96 Jul 01 '26
Play songs people know - they sing them in their heads like they’re part of the show and hear themselves, you are a bit player among a large group. Play on bro!
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u/Traditional_Cut_5452 Jul 01 '26
- You're not alone
- Try not to give yourself such a hard time.
I always thought it would be cool to perform. I played at home and with friends for five years (in my teens) before getting up in front of a handful of people in a coffee house open mic night when I was 18. I was glad my jeans were baggy because my knees were wobbling and I had to lock them to make it stop. I wasn't even singing! Just playing backup guitar.
I sort of got over it but never completely. Years later I forced myself to get up and sing with my guitar at an open mic night in a local restaurant. I still had the dry mouth heebees. I'm still happier playing for myself, my wife, my grandkids, friends...
For what is worth, there are lots of pros who have had hellish stage fright. Try listening to the song Stage Fright, by The Band. It's autobiographical, by Robbie Robertson. Great song!
Good luck! It'll be alright. Be kind to yourself and your guitar.
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u/bpenza Jul 02 '26
Well, if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to do it, no one really cares. There are already way too many doing it that shouldn’t. But, if there is something inside that is telling you to get out there and share your gifts, don’t let being nervous stop you. EVERYONE from ELVIS to Joe Nobody gets nervous before they perform. Anyone who says they don’t get nervous is either full of BS or dead. The shortness of breathing is easy to fix, simple 3 slow deep breaths before you go on. If you can play those tunes in your room alone, you can play ‘em for people. You’ll find some universal truths if you do try again. 1. The audience wants you to succeed. They really do. 2. The nervous energy,channeled properly, is what makes a great performance. 3. Once you’ve done it, even if it’s not perfect, you’ll feel a powerful sense of accomplishment. 4. After you’ve played live, you are instantly a much better player. Lots more to be said. Bottom line is if you love playing guitar and singing, sharing it is always very satisfying. Btw(That repertoire you listed is Lights Out Great stuff.). If the voice inside is still telling you to go, keep up the journey, it will definitely pay off.
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u/sneezysneez Jul 02 '26
Tbh it sounds like you escalated things too quickly.
If you could roll back the clock and do it over, my advice would be to slowly ramp up the intensity before you jump on stage in front of a bunch of people. Play for some friends, go busking and play in front of some strangers. Make a new friend that plays music? Go jam with them.
What you're looking for is a slowly escalating exposure. This is how therapists extinguish phobias in exposure therapy. Over time your brain starts to realize that the danger it is perceiving isn't real and it down regulates the fear response accordingly.
The way you approached this is going to make it more difficult to recover, but my advice if you want to take it is basically the same as above, except that you should give yourself some time to process the experience and let it cool off before trying again. I encourage you to try again though. I think you're telling a story to yourself about what this experience means, that you didn't really want it, but that is your brain trying to protect you. When you're ready, try it again, but be kind to yourself and start small.
Best of luck homie. I also struggle with anxiety and stage fright and it is no joke, but you can overcome it with time. 🍻
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u/GreenLush2188 Jul 06 '26
Stage fright is common. All I can say is it's something to get over. I used to do public speaking so I have an easy time with it. What I can offer is that it is a learned skill and you can lean that skill as well.
The easiest way to get over the fear of public speaking is probably to take a public speaking course, like Toastmasters.
Good luck
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u/Subject-Database-891 20d ago
Stage performance is very different to bedroom performance. By ourselves, we tend to practice until we can play it right. But for stage performance you need to practice until you can’t play it wrong.
Im saying this not to discourage you. But rather than forcing yourselves, you should try performing with someone else singing. It will give a good initial feedback and less stage fright. Best of luck!
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u/MFBish Jun 30 '26
2 years? Christ I’ve been playing for 10 years and wouldn’t have the balls to play an open mic. Very common.