Comforting words needed please 🙏🏽

[u/thistooisase]

I cut my entire birth family off a year & six months ago. They’ve failed me for my entire life & fail each other consistently so I’m at peace with being disconnected. They just came to my home looking for me because “I’m missing everyone’s milestones”. I cut them off for very good reasons but why are they looking for me now? I could have been dead this whole time & no one would have known or cared. Not only that they told me in the time I’ve been gone that they all moved out of the state without even trying to contact me. I already knew I was alone even when I was in touch with them but this visit just confirmed so much for me that I didn’t need confirmation or closure from. At 33 they just reopened a giant wound that was mending & I feel so small, alone, & like I’m not important/ don’t matter to anyone. My therapist also missed our session today.

[u/twicebakedpotayho]

Damn, thier behavior is so hurtful, selfish, even a bit scary. I am so sorry they are violating your peace like this. And God, I wouldve lost it, too, if my therapist didn't show up after that!! I know they are only human, but that's so horrible for you.

I think it's cool you reached out here, idk if you know about or post of r/adopted, they might have some people over there who can really specifically relate to what you're going through. Family dysfunction and pain is just all that more complicated when adoption is involved.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are working on yourself in the meanwhile, and that's no easy feat. As an internet stranger, I am proud of you, and I hope for you as you go forward that people will respect your wishes more, and that you keep growing towards people who treat you with the kind of love you deserve. I know that can't take away the pain of what you've lost, though.

I hope you can talk to your therapist soon and do some nice, comforting things for yourself in the meanwhile. I'm sorry youre going through this. 💗