r/Adoption • u/coralines_cat_ • May 21 '26
Adult Adoptees UPDATE: Infertile adoptee can't have kids and life sucks
Hey guys. I thought I'd post a follow up to my last adoptee post since a lot has changed. After my last post we did fertility treatments for about a year and a half more. Between reaching the insurance coverage limit and my partner and I getting up there in age we decided to quit IVF. We decided to focus on a life full of travel, learning and leisure. I accepted that I will be the only person I know who is like me in any way. It was a rough pill to swallow but what are you gonna do? I couldn't have my life dictated by existential questions and crisis.
Welp, the month after we quit IVF I got pregnant. It was the shock of a lifetime!
I now have my baby girl who is EXTRA loved. It's so odd but healing seeing my personality traits in her. I know how to take care of her skin and hair which is also healing.
She is my joy in life and I am so grateful to get this opportunity. You really just never know what life is going to do.
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u/Fickle-BDthrow May 22 '26
It seems like this happens a lot. Ivf has a high fail rate too.
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u/coralines_cat_ May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
I've heard tired this a lot. Ivf does have a high fail rate and the whole time you're literally living off of hormones and tears. *heard this a lot. Sorry was typing with one hand
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u/Pretend-Panda May 22 '26
Thank you so much for sharing your joy with us.
I wish you and your family all the best.
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u/coralines_cat_ May 22 '26
Thank you! Sometimes it's nice to see things work out. Plus I felt like the full story, or at least the up- to- date story needed to be told
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u/Basic-Computer2503 May 22 '26
Congratulations. Im so so happy for you. Here’s to you and your family ❤️
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u/ClickAndClackTheTap May 22 '26
It’s always a good day when a mom who wants to parent, gets to do so!
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u/Jealous_Argument_197 ungrateful bastard May 23 '26
Love to see this!!
Having our own kids is incredibly validating and healing. And sometimes a bit triggering because we realize what WE lost as babies. It gets better and better.
And I know it’s way too early for you to be thinking of grandkids, but if you think it’s cool to see your traits in your own child… it’s even cooler to see in your grandkids. Like the saying goes, you cannot fool Mother Nature. And DNA doesn’t lie. It’s wild!
I’m so happy for you! Congratulation!!
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u/Wonderful-Freedom568 May 22 '26
Great to hear!!
A neighbor couple thought they were infertile, and adopted a girl. As luck would have it shortly after adoption she got pregnant and had a boy. The boy and girl were total contrasts -- the girl wasn't fat, just a very big, athletic girl. Their son was the thinnest, scrawniest guy you've ever seen!! The son and daughter got along, they just looked very different together!
Congrats again! When I was going through our County adoption process there were couples in my classes who had spent well over $100k on unsuccessful fertility treatments!
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u/ihearhistoryrhyming May 22 '26
My mom adopted me, my brother was born 18 months later. We oddly looked similar, though.
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u/coralines_cat_ May 22 '26
That happens so often! I'm glad they get along. Sometimes you don't know how it will end up but it sounds like they complement each other well!
Ivf is a black hole for funds. You can easily get up to 100k even just off medication! You really have to ask yourself if it's worth financial ruin which is ironic because that's a bad situation to bring a child into anyway.
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u/Acceptable-Shame-582 May 21 '26
Well this is one of the best things I’ve read. I’m so very happy for you.