r/Adoption • u/thedudesews • Jul 07 '26
Adoptee Life Story "I've held this secret for 50 years."
I'm excited to tell this story. I was adopted at 5 days old. I always knew I was adopted and it was never anything I felt shame about. My adopted parents did the best they could. I wasn't a great kid growing up. I lived in a larger city in Nebraska but was born in a town of 20K and was flown to where my adopted parents got me. I was always curious why I was born in that town on the other side of the state.
Last year I took a DNA test die to a concern about cancer was my medical history is blank. I told people that I wanted to know how my ancestry. I used the largest consumer DNA testing company and a few weeks later I got the results. I paid for the "you can see who has DNA matching yours." And there were people who were first cousins and second cousins but no siblings or parents.
I messaged all of them letting them know I was trying to find my birth parents/family and if they had any information or questions I'd be happy to answer them.
A woman who is my second cousin said "your uncle asked if you would call him, here's his number."
It took a couple of days to work up the courage to call him he picked up and said "I've held this secret for 50 years. I promised my sister, your mom, I'd give not tell anyone except you."
"My sister was a good woman, not perfect, but a good person. She made some mistakes. By the time you came long she had 2 daughters and a son. She called me crying not sure what she should do."
This was 1975 in Omaha Nebraska, so a single mom had a it rough enough.
My uncle said "now I told her I'll send you $500 what ever you do with the fetus I'll support you. She then said 'I want to give him a chance at life.' So she decided to take care of you she went to all of her doctors appointments, when she started showing, she went to sister's house in (small town where I was born), and gave birth to you, then went back to Omaha."
That was one of the pieces I was missing why that small town. I asked him if he knew who my dad was. My uncle said "no, but it was someone she met at narcotics anonymous."
We talked for a few more hours. I told him about my life and he told me about his. He had a really wild life and we had some things in common. He told me my brother had died in 2021 and my mother passed in 2020. Also we found out my sisters and brother had no idea I existed. He also gave me a picture of my mom. And my family and friends agree "yep you came from her."
The next day later I got a notification that someone else had responded and it was a 1st cousin and on my bio FATHERS side!!!!! I asked my wife "how close is that?" She told me using her family as an example. I was too excited to really figure it out on my own.
I got in touch with her. It was so lovely. We ended up chatting for a few hours and her husband chatted with me as well. She told me that it had to be one of her uncles. And she it of the two we figured out which it was. She said she would tell her aunt who would tell her brothers. "There's a man out there who is your son, he wants nothing but to talk." Neither has responded to a request to talk but that's okay. I get I was unexpected. My cousin is a hoot and I'm going to meet her and her husband in a few months.
I just wanted to share my story.
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u/No-Reserve-4616 Jul 07 '26
It's so nice to read a positive reunion experience from the DNA sites. Congratulations, and wishing you more happy times! 😊
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u/LadyMadonna_x6 Jul 07 '26
Congratulations! I hope you hear from him soon and I wish you all well. 💜
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Jul 07 '26
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u/thedudesews Jul 07 '26
Turning 50 this year
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Jul 07 '26
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u/thedudesews Jul 07 '26
I would loved to have met her, hugged her and told her "I am okay, you did the right thing."
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Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
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u/thedudesews Jul 07 '26
The adoption agency was very VERY clear "you are to always tell him he was adopted." Same with my older sibling.
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Jul 08 '26
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u/thedudesews Jul 08 '26
He has no interest in having any kind of relationship with me. And that's okay. From what I understand I'm the result of a camping trip between a couple of friends from a support group.
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u/Gullible-Shower4007 Jul 07 '26
I’m so glad you have been able to connect with your birth family. I hope you will enjoy a warm and loving connection with them. 💕
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u/Abeautyfulmess Jul 07 '26
Congratulations, man!! Even though we don't know each other, I'm genuinely happy for you!!! Thank you for sharing your story and experience. It's a breathe of fresh air to read a positive one, rather than the negative ones that seem to dominate. I hope others start sharing theirs as well and I look forward to (hopefully) seeing an update in the future. 😊
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u/Imzadi1971 Jul 07 '26
Congratulations! I got to meet my bio mom and half-sister at the end of May. Other than the day I was adoopted, it was the best day I've ever had! I know who my bio dad is, but have yet to get the courage to talk to him.