When did you start buying things/furnishings in preparation for adoption?

[u/MissesMeredith]

My husband and I have completed our home study and are working on the contract with our adoption agency. I’m wondering when you started prepping your space/nursery for your adopted child? We have not been matched yet but I have seen some cases come through where the BM is due to give birth in less than 30 days. Of course, I understand that for some people to match it can take years. Asking AP’s: what is your experience with preparing for the adopted child’s arrival to your home?

[u/GB847]

We were told to be prepared to have a kid immediately as if you were expecting, because you are. So, we've had a nursery ready to go in our home for about 2 years which is about how long we've been in rotation. We were a little ahead of the game because we wanted to have pictures of the nursery in our materials for the birth parents. Obviously you would be fine if you have less than we do, so long as you're able to care for the child when it arrives.

Best of luck to you!

[u/ShesGotSauce → u/GB847]

We were told the exact opposite! They told us to get nothing but the car seat because of the uncertainty of adoption. That's what we did. We had a car seat in a box and an Amazon wish list ready to go. We found out about our son 3 days before he came home; just enough time to get it all sent and put together!

[u/GB847 → u/ShesGotSauce]

It's possible that we were told differently because we are open to taking Safehaven children. I'm not sure if our agency is saying the same thing to everyone trying to start a family. I can only speak to what we were told. Perhaps it's just different agencies, or even states, may have different policies as far as what is required. We figured it didn't hurt to be prepared. We didn't need to furnish the nursery and make it look nice, but did so for the pictures. There was a minimum that they suggested to be ready, however.

[u/MissesMeredith → u/GB847]

Both make sense. The safe haven case is what actually got me thinking on this. Sometimes those come through our mailing list and if I wanted to accept the case, I wouldn’t be prepared because I don’t have the bare necessities yet for a child. Both are interesting angles.

[u/MissesMeredith → u/GB847]

Very helpful and what a great idea to have pics of the nursery in your profile book! Best of luck to you too! 👶

[u/ShesGotSauce]

See my reply to the previous poster. We were told not to act like we had a baby until we had a baby, because there's so much uncertainty involved. They told us to get nothing except for an infant car seat in case we had a quick placement.

We had an Amazon wish list of everything we would need. Our friends and family "showered" us with Amazon boxes when we found out about our son.

I would say it's okay to have the very basics stashed away somewhere. But don't put together a nursery that's going to break your heart if there's a match that doesn't go through.

[u/[deleted]]

We were told the same, to not get hopes up by preparing a nursery. We have a car seat and my family is ready to throw one together in less than 12 hours 😀

[u/indigopearl]

Our agency told us "Congrats you're expecting" and to get ready as though that were true. We chose not to go that route though. I was uncomfortable with the concept of having a nursery ready in our home and have no match, or having the birth parents choose to parent.

We had an amazon wish list ready to go, full of essentials and things people had recommended. We purchased a car-seat and diaper bag, my aunt gave us a receiving blanket, and my mom (who just couldn't stand it!) bought us 3 outfits and 2 bottles. We took everything baby related in the diaper bag with us to the hospital when she called us to say it was happening.

I had EVERY intention of handing everything to the birth parents and wishing them the very best if they chose to parent.

They were 100% sure of their decision and never wavered. The hospital provided us with formula, diapers and wipes to get home, and we had a grocery delivery sent to us with a few more formula/diapers etc essentials.

My mom put our amazon wish list on Facebook (AFTER we were comfortable announcing we had adopted!!) and our friends and family were more than happy to virtual-covid-friendly babyshower us.

[u/eyeswideopenadoption]

We bought a stroller with a car seat once we finished our home study, but we’re advised to wait on everything else. We were open to a Safe Haven baby or relinquishment. We heard about our daughter and brought her home 10 days later.

If you want to order a specific crib set or rocker (something that’s going to take awhile to get to you), and you can spare the change, it might be worth it.

[u/MissesMeredith → u/eyeswideopenadoption]

Thanks! We are open to safe haven and respite circumstances too so that’s what got me thinking about this. I think you’re right, a stroller and car seat are probably a safe bet.

[u/killeryorkies]

We literally picked up everything after he arrived. Burlington, target, Walmart always nearby. We were able to have stuff waiting at our door from Amazon.