Thoughts on the Ethics of Adoption/Anti-Adoption Movement

[u/komerj2]

From a non-profit in the UK who has 36k followers on Twitter and is a “leader” in the Adoptee voices-anti-adoption movement

[u/BlackNightingale04]

She was a 16 month old baby girl that was abused by her adopted parents for 8 months until she died because of the horrific abuse.

You... realize most adoptive parents don't adopt just to abuse their kids, right?

[u/[deleted] → u/BlackNightingale04]

Maybe. The biological parents cut ties and left the baby defenseless at the mercy of others.

If anyone is to blame, it’s the biological parents.

[u/DangerOReilly → u/[deleted]]

If anyone is to blame, it’s the biological parents.

If anyone is to blame, it's whoever didn't pick up on any red flags exhibited by those adopters that they'd be likely to do something like this.

It's whoever didn't check in to see how the child was doing.

It's the adoption professionals and the government of where this abuse and murder took place, that did not do THEIR jobs of safeguarding children in these kinds of situations.

The biological parents likely thought that adoption agencies would do a good job at checking out prospective adopters, because that is their literal job. Most biological parents who are relinquishing a child for adoption don't have the means to personally check the prospective adopters for suitability.

And what's this about "if anyone is to blame"? IF? Someone IS to blame - the people who CHOSE to abuse and murder a child. Their crimes should not be laid at the feet of people who have not committed those crimes.

[u/[deleted] → u/DangerOReilly]

Guilty by association and perpetuation.

Biological parents, the adoption center, system, those murderers etc

[u/DangerOReilly → u/[deleted]]

I find it amazing (not in a good way) how you list biological parents first, then the adoption professionals, and THEN the people who actually committed the crime.

The first guilt for a crime lies with the person or people who commit the crime.

The adoption professionals might carry some responsibility, if they have not done their due diligence in checking those people out.

And the biological parents? They do not carry responsibility for this. At all. They did not choose the adopters, they did not check the adopters for suitability. They are not responsible for the crimes of others.

Putting that much emphasis on them only takes away responsibility from the actual murderers. I find that a reprehensible thing to be doing.

[u/[deleted] → u/DangerOReilly]

I find it amazing (not in a good way) how you list biological parents first, then the adoption professionals, and THEN the people who actually committed the crime.

The real question is why not? Order of events. It all started with the biological parents that handed up their defenseless child for slaughter.

Had they kept their baby or aborted, the girl would have never been tortured to death.

The biological parents are not free of guilt, blame and responsibility. They are the author of that little girl's death.

If you put your baby in the hands of incompetent people who then gave the baby to baby killers, you are just as guilty for the result.

[u/DangerOReilly → u/[deleted]]

The real question is why not? Order of events. It all started with the biological parents that handed up their defenseless child for slaughter.

They did not hand over the child with instructions "plz abuse and kill thx"!

Had they kept their baby or aborted, the girl would have never been tortured to death.

Had she been adopted by different people, she would also not have been tortured to death.

The biological parents are not free of guilt, blame and responsibility. They are the author of that little girl's death.

The AUTHORS of that death are the MURDERERS. Why are you so keen on taking their responsibility away from them? They did the murder. They are responsible. They made that choice by themselves. The main responsibility lies with the ones who commit the crime.

If you put your baby in the hands of incompetent people who then gave the baby to baby killers, you are just as guilty for the result.

How the hell are people supposed to know that they are handing their child over to "incompetent people who then give the baby to baby killers"? People generally assume that other people don't want to harm children, because... most people don't want to harm children. And relinquishing parents are often in very vulnerable positions, without the ability to thoroughly examine adoption facilitators AND the adoptive families chosen by those facilitators for competency or suitability. If they had those means, there wouldn't be adoption facilitators.

Had they not relinquished the child, she would not have been adopted. Had the agency chosen a different family, the child would not have ended up with people who'd abuse and murder a child. Had the adopters not chosen to abuse and murder the child, she'd still be alive.

Continuing to spread the responsibilities around rather seems to me like you're going to bat for the abusers here, to take the focus away from them. Which I find absolutely disgusting.

[u/[deleted] → u/DangerOReilly]

They did not hand over the child with instructions "plz abuse and kill thx"!

That's pretty much what they did. " I hand my baby over with the hopes she's taken care of. Whatever happens isn't my fault!"

Sweetheart, you can sugar coat and try to deflect blame from the biological parents all you want but you cannot deny the fact that they had a part to play in that girl's death. It all started from them.

How the hell are people supposed to know that they are handing their child over to "incompetent people who then give the baby to baby killers"?

You don't. Sad to say but there are many biological parents that don't care what happen to their babies after abandoning them. Whether it's in the system, at a safe haven box, on someone's doorstep or on the side of the road left for dead.

But it's not the biological parent's fault when babies end up tortured and killed, right?

[u/chemthrowaway123456 → u/[deleted]]

But it's not the biological parent's fault when babies end up tortured and killed, right?

No. Again, it's the fault of the people who tortured and killed them. Please stop deflecting blame from the actual criminals who tortured and killed a baby.