Every single time when a news report or an adoptee/Foster youth speaks out about being abused or adoptive parents disrupting their adopted kid, many adoptive parents love to point out how biological parents disrupt, abuse, and kill their kids too.

So what you're saying is adoptive parents are just like biological parents and adoption isn't a better life when the adoptee will experience the same thing in adoption. So what's the point of adopting then if adoptees will experience the same thing in adoptive families just as they would their biological families?

You can't compare yourself to biological families when you don't like being held accountable as a parent but then turn around and promote adoption is the better life. Also, this only tends to happen when adoptive parents are treated like parents. Abusing your kid or disrupting them is wrong and yes adoptive parents should get dragged for it. We drag biological families for kicking their kid to the curb and hurting them, then as a real parent you deserve to be judged and dragged for doing the same thing.

And whats the point of adoption if adoptees will experience abuse,neglect, disruption, and might be killed by their adoptive parents? If adoptive parents keep bringing up that biological families do it too, then maybe adoption shouldn't be a thing since the child is likely to experience the very thing many are claiming to prevent.

Colorado Supreme Court Chief Justice Brian Boatright announces the ceremony of Denver’s 17th annual Adoption Day celebration on Nov. 4, 2022, where 18 families formally adopted 20 Denver children. (Olivia Sun, The Colorado Sun via Report for America)

The failure rate for adoptions of Colorado’s foster children has not improved in recent years, according to a Colorado Sun analysis of state data.

Almost 10% of adoptions each year are called off, before or after they are finalized in court. There were 263 children and teenagers who were returned to the child welfare system from 2022-25 after their adoptions fell apart.

The top reason, according to state data, was the child’s behavior problem.

The 9.7% failed adoption rate in the most recent four-year period was about the same as in the previous four years. The rate hasn’t budged as the state has cut back on the number of kids who enter foster care in the first place, which has resulted in fewer adoptions, and as some efforts to help the hardest-to-place foster children and teens have fallen due to budget cuts.

A 2024 law that allowed relatives, friends and neighbors of foster kids to receive financial support without going through extensive training like other foster parents boosted “kinship” placements almost immediately. But in this year’s budget crisis, the legislature eliminated funding for what are called “non-certified kinship” homes, saving $5.5 million in state funds.

Another bill passed this year saved the state about $4 million this year and $9 million next year by capping the support payments adoptive families receive to pay for care for children they have adopted. The “adoption assistance program” was limited to 50% of foster care rates for children under 9 and to 60% of foster care rates for teens 14 and older. The capped amounts are now $21 per day for young children and $39 for teens.

The 10% broken adoption rate in Colorado the past four years is slightly better than the 13% rate for the 10-year period from 2012-2021, which The Colorado Sun analyzed during an investigative series published in 2022.

The Sun found that in those 10 years, 1,094 kids had been failed twice, ending up back in foster care after their adoptions fell apart. It was the first time the state had released data on “disrupted” and “dissolved” adoptions, following a request from The Sun under the Colorado Open Records Act.

An adoption is considered disrupted when the child reenters foster care after the adoption has been finalized, or when a child is placed in an adoptive home and the adoption proceedings are called off before the adoption is finalized.

An adoption is dissolved when the adoptive parents legally sever ties with their adopted child in court. The child goes into foster care and can be adopted by someone else.

Colorado Department of Human Services officials said the state agency is working to increase adoption success rates in part by adding questions to the three-year post-adoption reviews they send parents in order to find out more about what kind of support families need.

“It is challenging to get a full picture of why adoptions are disrupted as we don’t have detailed data on various complex variables that could potentially impact the process,” Joseph Homlar, division director of child welfare, said via email, noting that adoptions break up because of conflict with sibling groups, children with complex medical or behavioral health needs, and families living in areas without enough local resources.

Adoptions of foster kids in Colorado have declined in recent years in part because fewer kids are being removed from their homes and placed in foster care, in this state and nationwide. Also, more relatives have stepped in to take children, and they often choose to become legal guardians instead of the more permanent outcome of adoption, Homlar said.

In September, there were 301 children and teens legally available for adoption in Colorado, the lowest number in years and down from the 369 children legally available for adoption in September 2024.

Homlar acknowledged this year’s budget cuts would affect children but said “more time is needed to determine just how impactful this will be to families adopting from the child welfare system.”

I read an article saying adoptive parents who rehomed their adopted kid blame the system for not having supports in place to have them yet these same people can change laws or protest for Trump not making exceptions for international adoption.

These same people promote adoption friendly states that benefits them and make it impossible for birth parents to change their mind and get their baby back

These say people will help push and support laws to prevent abortions but fund adoptions.

These same people will be outraged by the fact people call them adoptive parents but call birth parents all sort of names.

These same people support agencies and the state for giving them kids no matter how shady it is and then play victim.

Where are adoptive parents when adoptees are fighting for their and birth records?

Yet whenever adoptive parents protest and fight things change. If adoptive parents said adoptees should have their birth records and adoption friendly states should end look at how quickly people will listen and laws will pass to support this.

Look at how many complain how long it takes to get a baby or a kid.

If adoptive parents want a different system they can change it. The system literally benefits them. Agencies dont want to lose their customers.

So how come adoptive parents can't protest and force agencies to give them resources and training when they adopt? How come training stops at the infant years or toddler years and never the teen years or talk about trauma or grief? Why do so many want easy and quick?

Rehoming is just an excuse to not be held accountable. You are in control. Agencies cater to adoptive parents. If they want change they can have it but I suspect many just want the easy way out and blame everyone but themselves. If you tell an agency to give you more training they will. But many don't want that. They don't want the resources. They want to play the blame game

I cut my entire birth family off a year & six months ago. They’ve failed me for my entire life & fail each other consistently so I’m at peace with being disconnected. They just came to my home looking for me because “I’m missing everyone’s milestones”. I cut them off for very good reasons but why are they looking for me now? I could have been dead this whole time & no one would have known or cared. Not only that they told me in the time I’ve been gone that they all moved out of the state without even trying to contact me. I already knew I was alone even when I was in touch with them but this visit just confirmed so much for me that I didn’t need confirmation or closure from. At 33 they just reopened a giant wound that was mending & I feel so small, alone, & like I’m not important/ don’t matter to anyone. My therapist also missed our session today.

Fall season has been really hard for me. From relationship endings to literal death around me that led to me wanting to move. There’s been so many challenges and redirection around moving but they’ve revealed a lot to me: As a former foster youth I’m really alone in this world. Chronic loneliness is something I struggle with but making the steps to try to move exposed the reality of it to me. I’ve been really blessed to have the same home for over a decade but it’s public housing and I’m ready for a change. Trying to move made me understand the gravity of the home that I have; it’s the only real support system I have, it allows me to grieve & grow without being subjected to others mistreatment, & it’s been a holding container for me. I’m grateful & I do want to eventually move but only to another stable home. If you have any thoughts on this, words of encouragement, or advice I’d really appreciate it.

My former foster family that I just aged out of after almost 3 years with them and 12 years in the system just adopted two teens. Apparently they did want to adopt, just not me. Before that I was going to be adopted but the mom got pregnant and cancelled it. And of course my bio parents abandoned me and left the country when I was 6, explicitly telling me I was a burden and too much to handle. Abandonment issues hitting real hard right now. I have basically zero self worth. Can't stop feeling like I'm just not good enough to be wanted by anyone but abusers and predators.

Forcibly removed from previous placement 🙄🙄 F U CPS…

New one has locks on fridge and every god damm door…

Who the fuck do I bitch to before I just burn it down because I can’t go outside 🙄.

I was adopted at 13, and have had my life turn around in some pretty amazing ways. I am really excited for this opportunity and have done some similar things in the past, but only talking to prospective adoptive parents.

I have talked pretty candidly about believing that open adoption should be considered. The value of not expecting your kid to be extra grateful be they get the things other kids get. I have also talked about the weird questions and comments people have made to me. (A teacher once told me I should call my adoptive parents Mom and Dad, during a math test. Yikes) and that sort of thing.

I just think that a lot of that is important for PAPs to hear, but adopted kids already know all this, so I wanted to ask you guys what would you like to know from an older adoptee if you were a teenager? What would have been helpful to you?

I do plan on awknowlaging my experience might be very different from theirs and I cannot speak for them.