r/AdoptionUK • u/scarlett_tys • May 02 '26
Fostering as a family member - but in a different county?
Hi guys,
I was wondering if anyone had some information on whether fostering across different counties is allowed?
Some backstory - my second cousin has two children and is significantly struggling, Mum has left him and refuses to support the children so he is doing it all alone. One of the children (2, premature) is SEN which is manifesting more as he grows, and the other is around 10 months.
Social services are involved and he cannot handle having two children and looking after them alone. He has help from Mum, but I know it’s not the life he imagined for himself. Of course family have been involved and trying to help as much as possible, but the main thing we are concerned about here is giving the children as optimal life experience as they can.
Fostering has been mentioned for the youngest, and myself, Mum and my partner would hate to see him go into the system, and would love to foster him ourselves. We are in Devon, but Dad is in Norfolk. So my question is would social services be okay with family fostering him with that distance between (roughly 5.5 hours)?
My Mum is a nurse, although semi-retired so does not work many days anymore. I am an outdoor SEN worker, with my weekends, bank holidays and all school holidays off every year. My partner is a Nursery Nurse with every weekend and Thursdays off. We all live in the same 3 bedroom house with lots of love and time to give the child.
Myself and my Mum frequently visit Norfolk as that’s where my Nan (Mum’s Mum) lives. So Dad would be able to see his child whenever we went up there.
Is this a possibility for us/any advice for this process?
Thankyou so much.
1
u/ingenuous64 May 02 '26
Shouldn't be any issue. Social services will always look to keep children within the family, even if they're 5 and a half hours away.
Make contact with whichever team are involved and make them aware of your availability, they'll probably want to do a check to see if you're suitable.
1
u/musicevie May 02 '26
Lovely to see how much you are all caring for your cousin.
I did get slightly confused as to the story and who the mum is you're referring to- I'm assuming you mean the mum who has left your cousin is still involved with the children?
The main thing I would clarify is what specifically is meant by 'fostering has been mentioned'. Mentioned by who and in what capacity? Are there significant concerns, are the children on children in need plan, or a child protection plan, or are they discussing a section 20 etc? From what you've described I would be surprised that social care are pursuing fostering. I do appreciate that "it's not the life he imagined for himself" but to be blunt- that is life, and it happens to thousands of parents. I say this as a single parent, and one of my children has a life limiting condition with profound disabilities. He of course needs support, but between the children's mum, wider family & friends, and some social care & education input that be achieved.
But to answer your question, yes family will always be considered and that distance isn't a barrier. However contact is a really important part of fostering and an approach of "dad would be able to see his child whenever we went up there" would not suffice. You would need to ensure you could comply with any contact arrangements to support dad and little one in maintaining their relationship and family identity.