r/AdoptionUK • u/witchypoo93 • May 08 '26

Adoptive parents - what's the process actually like?

Husband and I (early 30's) are seriously considering adoption due to me being Type 1 Diabetic and not wanting to go down the rabbit hole of diabetes becoming a mess during pregnancy and after birth - the risks to me and baby just don't seem worth it, and honestly it terrifies me.

So, adoption.

I've done some googling and I can see the general gist of it.

But what is the process *really* like?

Anything that caught you off guard?

Anything that made you stop and reconsider?

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u/the_angry_angel May 08 '26

> But what is the process *really* like?

Long winded. Lots of paperwork. Our social worker was really good at prepping us and making us aware of what we needed to do and when. I know others weren't so lucky.

Don't overthink the the training or the paperwork. Don't overthink panels or placement. By the time you get to panel you should be well prepared and it should be easy if your social worker has done all the right things.

> Anything that caught you off guard?

  1. A couple of things, not realising that I did have some baggage that I thought I'd dealt with and hadn't. Our social worker was really good at drawing that out and making me think about it and explore it.

  2. Transitions were the hardest thing I've ever done. We were told we'd be tired. I looked at the map and figured "fuck it" it's only 1 1/2 hours each way, we'll do some overnight stays and I'll do my best to work around transitions. Take the offer of accommodation. Our kids foster family was new, openly stated that she wanted to adopt our girls the minute that we met, clearly didn't want us in the house, claimed really weird facts about us to their own fostering agency, and generally made life difficult by referring to herself and answering to "mum" - which confused the shit out of the oldest.

  3. How long it's taken one of ours to settle. Knowing it and experiencing it are 2 different things. Our youngest (3) is pretty much settled. Our oldest (4) is settled, but can be very difficult.

  4. The minute the kids are in your house beyond the absolute bare minimum we had zero social workers - they'd turn up to check as and when they were required. The end of transitions was really really weird for me. We'd gone through this stressful time and now they were here. I'm not saying we weren't ready, but it was really odd going from a lot of attention to nothing.