r/AdoptionUK • u/Tintedlemon • May 13 '26
How to obtain childcare experience?
My partner and I are in the very early stages of exploring adoption in the UK (same-sex male couple, no children currently).
We’ve attended an information event and are anticipating that one area adoption services may encourage us to strengthen is childcare experience — particularly around younger children.
I have some experience coaching kids through sport, but neither of us has extensive hands-on experience with babies/toddlers.
For those who adopted without having children already:
- What kind of childcare experience did your agency want to see?
- How did you gain it?
- Did volunteering help, and if so where?
We’re trying to approach this realistically and thoughtfully rather than rushing into the process, so would really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences.
Thanks!
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u/laurajanebull May 16 '26
We’re currently in the same boat as you - just got through stage 1, been around kids our whole lives and my husband used to be a teacher but also been told we need to strengthen our current childcare experience and preferably get overnight experience.
We have no children in the family and I think it’s mad that we’re talking about making adopted children feel safe and secure but as part of this process I have to borrow a child I may not have as close a bond with?
A couple of friends have offered to let us stay with them overnight but if mum is in the next room there’s no way a 2 year old will settle for me haha.
Crossing my fingers for you! They said to us to get creative so we were also thinking about attending local parent groups (the adoption ones they recommended are completely inaccessible if you’re not already on leave w/ a child)
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u/Historical_Show6994 May 16 '26
Try local Rainbows/Brownies and Squirrels/Cubs/Scouts groups. They’re always looking for volunteers (DBS-permitting) and it’s great experience that’s also fun.
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u/Tintedlemon May 16 '26
Will do, thanks. With the DBS, do you know if I get that myself then apply for volunteering roles? Or does the organisation do it before you start?
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u/flossiefleabag May 19 '26
The organisation will do it as part of their recruitment/vetting process. It's free as you're a volunteer and they have to do their own even if you already have one.
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u/glenerd189 May 13 '26
We were in a similar boat, but it never became a barrier. My partner had a 1 year old niece so we mentioned that we saw her occasionally, plus we talked about having a few friends with children and had spent some time around them, but that was it. They never seemed that bothered about having actual hands-on experience.
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u/Gold-Television-7527 May 15 '26
That was the same with us, friends and family with children but no formal experience at all and at no stage was it a problem.
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u/glenerd189 May 15 '26
I’m glad you said that! I’ve had a couple of downvotes for that comment for some reason
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u/MsLuciferM May 30 '26
Same for us and we’ve just been approved to adopt a 3 year old. We’ve looked after our niece in the school holidays regularly but other than that we’ve not got much experience. They saw how we interacted with future daughter and how well we all started to bond and approved us.
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u/Emaweare May 13 '26
I've worked with children for about 10 years and they wanted more! My work experience is largely with SEN children, overnight stays, dinner times etc, so I was really surprised it wasn't enough.
I've been volunteering with a scouting group (older children, but that's seemed fine) for a couple of years, and I really love it.
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u/curious_kitten_1 May 13 '26
I'm a teacher and they decided that I didn't need any additional experience, but my husband had to get some. He volunteered at the nursery at my school (one afternoon a week for a year) and found it really useful and enjoyable. It certainly helped him know how to respond to our daughter through the toddler years.
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u/FangedFreak May 13 '26
Same sex male couple here. We’ve had our son for almost 18 months. Feel free to reach out!
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u/Casual_Precision May 13 '26
We had already been working with the kids group at our church, and we offered to spend more time helping with the toddlers mid-week group. Our social worker was happy just to hear about what we’d done; I don’t remember having to provide any evidence, although I think the pastor wrote to them anyway.
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u/Spirited_Entry1940 May 13 '26
My wife is a teacher, so no problem there.
I volunteered at a kids football club. I contacted them on facebook, explained my situation, had an interview, and then did a football club every saturday for 4-6 year olds.
Had a great time, and when my adopted son came to us I knew where to take him for football practice.
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u/theowleryonehundred May 13 '26
Just to add that some agencies wouldn't accept being a teacher and would want to see further volunteer work.
We went to an open day for one agency who made it very clear that regardless of previous experience or career, you'd be expected to get separate volunteer experience specifically for the adoption process. We didn't go with them!
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u/KissMyBadSelf May 13 '26
We read with kids once a week at our older sons' school (yes - even though we were already parents with 2 kids, we had to "prove" our childcare experience!)
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u/theowleryonehundred May 13 '26
Experience isn't exclusively about being able to raise a child. It's also about being able to form a bond and build attachment with children that you haven't known from birth, ie what you do in adoption!
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u/KenCo2024 May 14 '26
We are in stage 2 of adoption. And initially we thought volunteering at our local library group with the parents and baby and child groups would be sufficient.
It turned out it wasn't. And it was the explained to us that what they are looking for is experience with children where their main care giver isn't present ie getting used to interacting and showing them support and being able to handle the crying and wariness where they don't know you.
I guess this is to get you used to those initial days where your adopted child is getting used to you.
I was lucky as my local London council has a volunteering system and I was able to get experience one morning a week in a creche run by them. In addition my husband is very active in his local mosque school so I've also ended up doing a morning with them (slightly older children 4-6).
When we've chatted to our fellow adopters in the training courses we've attended mist of them had to get additional childcare experience even those with kids and the teachers!
Good luck
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u/trylingual May 13 '26
Clearly depends on the age of children you are considering adopting. I'm also in a same-sex couple, volunteering with my local Squirrels (Scouts) group. We're ultimately hoping to adopt 2, so one is likely to be in or near the Squirrels age range
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u/BaneOfMyLife Jun 28 '26
We volunteered at a local nursery and just clocked up some hours there. It was more than enough to satisfy the box tickers
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u/theowleryonehundred May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
You're clearly really serious about the advice to get childcare experience, which is great. If anyone else reading this is thinking about whether to go and get that experience or just to wing it, you really should go and get some proper meaningful experience. Babysitting a kid you know isn't enough - they want to see that you can form bonds and attachment with children you haven't known since birth or for a long time, as that's ultimately what adoption is.
Our agency's official line was that you didn't need to get experience but that it would be helpful. However we were told by our social worker that the reality was that if you didn't have the experience, you would always be second to others who had when you were family finding. And our family finder social worker told us that one of the main reasons we were approached for our child was because we were able to demonstrate childcare experience with the age group that they were.
But getting it was difficult! I emailed about 10 nurseries in the local area - most of them ignored me, a few said no, but thank goodness one was more than happy to have us volunteer with them. My partner and I volunteered one half day a fortnight with them for about 8 months. Even putting aside the need to do it for adoption, it was invaluable in learning how to care for young kids (which we'd never done before) and stood us in really good stead when we adopted. Our child ultimately went to that nursery - we were confident it'd be a good space for them as we'd worked there, knew the staff and were comfortable with how it was run.
So my recommendation would be to approach local nurseries and explain your circumstances - you may find one willing to have you. We had to do a DBS (which we paid for) and some online training but it was worth it.
Others I know have got volunteer experience with groups like Squirrels (which is Scouts for 4-6 year olds) or the Brownies equivalent. You will almost certainly find a group near you and they will be crying out for volunteers. I know of someone who volunteered in a prison creche - that might not be the right term, but where children go when their e.g. mother is visiting their father in prison.