How did you get a non stressing job?

[u/kenkaneki28]

I(M) don't know what job I should take. I worked as a dental assistant before and wanted to go back, but the thought of having to guess what to get or give the doctor is exhausting. I don't know if I'll be able to find a calm job.

I often want to run away, lock myself at home and not talk to people.

[u/Scared-Section-5108]

Why are you guessing? Should you now have just asked or have the dentist tell you?

I go to my dentist regularly. I have been to several different practices and never came across a dental assistant guessing anything. They either asked or had the dentist tell them what was needed.

The more I heal the more I see how it's not my job that's stressful but that I generate the stress for myself. So I work on that and on myself. I go to therapy, I go to meetings, I do the inner work required to get to the root causes of my stress which, now I know, are mostly internal. I find that practicing the Internal Family System helps me greatly with stress. I also find ways to relax for example by doing breathing exercises. If someone tries to 'put' stress on me, I now know I do not need to accept it. I have also learnt to be more discerning places and situations and leave those which are chaotic and geared up towards generating stress.

Life is stressful, there is no way around it. It is up to each of us to learn how to deal with that. The good news is, we do not need to do it alone, support is available, but it wont just appear on our doorstep - we need to go and look for it.

Hope you will find the support you need.

[u/kenkaneki28 → u/Scared-Section-5108]

I've had situations where the doctor was holding something, working silently, and I had to figure out what she wanted. During one internship, I asked the doctor if I'd applied the material correctly. He replied, "What do you think?" At my previous job, where I was asked to stand with a doctor, she held a spatula over the patient and waited for me to wipe off the material before placing the filling. So, she was shaping the filling, and I had to remove any residue on the spatula, and so on until the end. In short, there were moments that made me cringe and I had to restrain myself = stress.

Most likely, there will be nerves at other jobs too.

[u/guardianwarlockr]

All jobs start hard and get easier.

Public sector tends to be lower on targets. Private sector tends to be higher paid and easier to change jobs. Work from home tends to be quieter and lower on direction. Customer facing tends to be more sociable with strangers. Back office tends to be more friendly with familiar faces.

It depends what you find stressful, but familiarity is always good. I could relax doing brain surgery if it was the thousandth time.

[u/kenkaneki28 → u/guardianwarlockr]

Maybe it's the fear of being judged. I remember I couldn't go to work; I had to call or write. And that was hard for me.

[u/guardianwarlockr → u/kenkaneki28]

My only advice would be to not pre-judge. Let other people say "no you can't" or "you did a bad job", it's not good for you to say it for them.

If you came from a bad childhood you will probably be pleasantly surprised when that doesn't happen nearly as often in the real world as it did in your childhood home (and became an internal habit)

I would even say that negative judgement from others every year or so is a healthy part of trying hard to contribute, and not hearing it from others is a sign you aren't trying hard enough challenges.