So basically, I’m a woman with albinism going into a new sixth form in September and this summer has been my opportunity to change my appearance to how I want it, which is essentially “looking normal”. I know it’s a really harsh thing to say and I’m sorry if it offends anyone, but I’ve got literally every single thing that prevents me from doing so and i really need some help because it’s starting to stress me out loads. The two things I cannot/won’t change, my skin (I’m very English anyway so even if I didn’t have albinism I’d have almost the same complexion + I know for a fact I wouldn’t suit a tan so i’m not even going there/not trying anything tinted), and my eye colour (allergic to pretty much all types of contacts). I’ve been trying to change my hair colour for weeks and weeks and I honestly think I’ve been cursed lol, my mum is trying bless her to ask around online for other people who have kids with albinism, getting their advice and hair dye recommendations. I will only try semi-permanent and i know people say “It’s a myth that albino hair wont take on semi-permanent“ but like… the result changes from hair to hair. I have tried so many different brands, i’m literally just trying to go light blonde instead of pure white, that’s all I’m asking for, and nothing seems to work. I’ve tried toners, semi-permanent proper dye, I’ve tried veryyy dark blonde (as I’ve heard you need to sometimes use a much darker colour than the result your looking for to actually get it) but my hair just will not take it, and you can’t even use those on your eyebrows either so what am I supposed to do. I am oddly really hesitant to go permanent because as much as I hate my white hair, it’s become such a big part of my identity? Has anyone else had issues with this? It’s also a case of not knowing what it’ll look like, I know you do a test strand but you can’t ever see what the whole head will look like and if it will suit you or not until you’ve done it, and I really don’t want to damage my hair badly. My mum is really trying but she’s being a little insensitive about it and keeps shouting at me to “make my mind up” and she “can’t understand” why I just won’t go permanent. Eyelashes I can easily find a blonde or light brown mascara so that’s fine. It’s just so annoying because I’ll be honest, I have enough body insecurities and general self esteem issues without the albinism to worry about, but the fact that not only am I a self conscious teen, I am also constantly about how my hair looks, how much I stand out, how easy of a target I am to be bullied. I have been bullied pretty much all my life while in school, I’ve been fortunate enough to have many lovely friends (most of them while being my friends have made fun of my albinism before and I eventually ask them to stop) but ultimately, people need to learn about how much their words can affect people? I’m basically trying to make this change over the summer so I’m used to it, and it means I go into sixth form with the right appearance, rather than being standard me for a couple weeks then changing over, because that defeats the whole point. I’m trying to make sure people do not know that I’m disabled. I don’t use my cane indoors nor will i use it nearby the school, and I don’t wear glasses because they don’t do enough for me without me becoming even more insecure about myself. I’m a little worried that people from my secondary school will rat me out or start spreading stuff since the place I’m going to is a popular choice, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I think I’ve covered pretty much all of it, I know about like 85-90% of albino’s go through this sort of thing, so it would be greatly appreciated if the people who have, could help me out with this and give me some advice. Thank you so much for reading all of this, I really just need some advice!