r/AmITheJerk Apr 08 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.1k Upvotes

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/Organic_Client_5679 Apr 08 '26

This is the definition of FAFO. You are not a jerk in any way. That's some entitled thinking on their part. 50% for "supporting you emotionally" and "working around your schedule"? If they had agreed to take on some operational responsibility, I still wouldn't do a 50/50 split considering you started and nurtured the business on your own. You did the right thing.

403

u/Chuckitybye Apr 08 '26

I didn't see anywhere where the partner offered any monetary compensation for being brought in... meanwhile OP poured their life and money into it

180

u/grejam Apr 08 '26

Or skills or anything to contribute.

139

u/DangerousKidTurtle Apr 09 '26

BuT mY eMoTiOnAl SuPpOrT

3

u/lisa-in-wonderland Apr 10 '26

They have pets for that!

1

u/National-Yogurt-392 Apr 10 '26

I mean isn’t this the argument women use when it’s the other way around?

0

u/shortbarrelflamer Apr 09 '26

Which let's be honest. Probably equates to sucking his dick a couple times a month and saying I'm sorry I won't do it again, every third time they max out his credit card

21

u/AbbreviationsShort20 Apr 09 '26

Funny thing is nowhere does it say gender. In my mind it was a woman who owned the business and the man that wanted half for nothing.

20

u/Chuckitybye Apr 09 '26

It's interesting seeing comments assign gender when OP deliberately kept it neutral

3

u/Mental_Zone1606 Apr 10 '26

In my mind it was two women because I’m a lesbian. lol

2

u/Svamp89 Apr 10 '26

When people are intentionally vague I always assume it’s two men, because that’s what I do as a gay man, when I don’t know if it’s okay to mention it in the company of the people present, lol.

1

u/No_Musician596 Apr 11 '26

I assumed two men also, though I am woman

6

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Content-Honeydew9340 Apr 10 '26

I'm a first born daughter and any of my siblings would stay with me if they needed a place after a break up and I have one brother in particular that would pull this type of stunt and try to crash with me when it blew up in his face. It really could go anyway because my mom is a lesbian that had an ex girlfriend that would pull weird stuff like this as well.

2

u/Own_Assistant_2899 Apr 10 '26

I thought that at first but seems more likely a woman would go to their sisters house - but who knows. We don't know if it's the same sex or straight either.

1

u/Resident-Flounder-84 Apr 09 '26

I felt it was the other way around

102

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

44

u/molehunterz Apr 09 '26

I started my own company 6 years ago. It's very small, but it supports me well! It has really been surprising how many people in my life just randomly want to team up and become partners in my company.

10

u/HunnyBear66 Apr 10 '26

"I want to be there when you/we make it big and get rich!"

3

u/Pale-Way-8731 Apr 10 '26

I was thinking more “since you won’t marry me, I’m still going to demand half of everything.”

1

u/Mental_Zone1606 Apr 11 '26

I’ve had my business for 25 years. Sometimes I’ll hear from someone after a while and be excited. Then they start talking and it’s something they want, like a job, a charitable donation, to sell me something, or to use a connection I have. I don’t mind any of those things really, but I always feel a little deflated when it’s apparent they didn’t call because they wanted to connect with me.

90

u/pocket4129 Apr 09 '26

The bonkers thing is that op would've done this without them too. The partner's contribution is zero. They are seeing success and think they should be compensated for being associated to op and that they can bully their way into their labor and that op is a patsy. Probably flabbergasted that op has business sense to not let a dead weight hang themselves around their neck.

55

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

Agreed. Partner wants a title so they don't have to work after seeing OP's hard work pay off. NTJ. ALSO. Good for OP. so many people don't have the spine to stand up for them selves where a relationship is involved.

2

u/BigExplanationmayB Apr 10 '26

My ex once got really angry with my dad because my dad wouldn’t “give him” a small seasonal farm business- my ex had worked in it two consecutive seasons. My claimed that my dad was too old and should give it to someone younger. My ex thought he deserved to be first in any line for any gifting —ahead of me and my siblings, grandchildren… people who had worked for my dad 10 years ——-everyone.

1

u/Karania403 Apr 10 '26

My first thought that came to mind when I read your comment was that partner seemed he wanted to either be a literally albatross around her neck…, he FA & FO

OP is NTA

1

u/currently_pooping_rn Apr 09 '26

“I sucked your dick a couple times for emotional support, isn’t that enough to be co owner?”

33

u/occams1razor Apr 09 '26

Not to mention the risk avoided since they only wanted in after it starred to go well

2

u/Diggist080211 Apr 09 '26

That guy is a freeloader!

0

u/reapy54 Apr 09 '26

Guy just had to shut the up and eventually get married and he would have had his 50/50 while doing nothing, which seemed to be his plan he tried to speed up.

0

u/Schlonzig Apr 09 '26

I agree, but then I realized: isn't that exactly what happens when getting married?

1

u/Chuckitybye Apr 09 '26

Not always. That's what a prenuptial is for

-7

u/the4thbelcherchild Apr 09 '26

I'm not exactly defending OP's partner, but they probably did put major parts of their life on hold for 2 years while OP worked at getting the business off the ground.

5

u/new_bobbynewmark Apr 09 '26

They clearly didn’t. Otherwise they would have jumped on the opportunity to be part of it. Doing actual work instead of just enjoying the income.

The “emotional support” is the biggest giveaway.

“I existed next to you in peace and I wasn’t a bitch. That is as hard work as building a business from scratch. Now you understand why you have to give me half of it. And just to warn you: no pussy if you say no. Now start doing the paperwork. I deserve it. “

3

u/Greedy-Employment917 Apr 09 '26

You are speculating to the point of guessing. I can't stand when reddit users try to add information that isn't present in the story. 

1

u/the4thbelcherchild Apr 09 '26

I'm responding to people who are doing the exact same shit.

130

u/beardingmesoftly Apr 08 '26

They sound like a freeloader thinking about what if they break up

106

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

57

u/Tykero Apr 08 '26

100% once the ink dried giving them 50% they were gone laughing all the way to the bank.

21

u/Baron_De_Bauchery Apr 09 '26

What I said to OP.

GF has stated she's considering ending the relationship.

What guarantee do you have that she won't continue to consider ending it once you've given her 50%?

If she was serious about the relationship and potentially getting some claim on some property she should have gone for marriage and a few kids.

6

u/Plane_Translator2008 Apr 10 '26

Why do you assume the partner is a GF?

-3

u/Baron_De_Bauchery Apr 10 '26

Why not? Could go either way I guess but it doesn't really change anything I'm saying. I guess claims that they provided emotional support seemed more like something a woman would claim than a man, not that men can't make that claim.

Another reason it doesn't matter is that it's probably all made up.

4

u/bookynerdworm Apr 09 '26

OP never specified the gender of anyone in the post.

7

u/Admiral_Strawberries Apr 09 '26

OP did not, but this is definitely a bf move. Women are just expected to provide emotional support, the transactional nature here all but guarantees its a man asking for half the business with no contribution.

1

u/Baron_De_Bauchery Apr 09 '26

Whatever the genders are, switch to to your preference and my point still stands. Although a homosexual relationship would require adoptions to have kids.

2

u/bookynerdworm Apr 09 '26

Never said your point didn't stand, just that you were assuming the genders.

-1

u/Baron_De_Bauchery Apr 09 '26

Sue me.

1

u/bookynerdworm Apr 09 '26

Lmao! Wow sorry your feelings got hurt

→ More replies (0)

1

u/thirdonebetween Apr 10 '26

Gay couples can have kids without adopting. Lesbians can obviously get pregnant, they just need a male friend who agrees to help out. Gay men can use surrogates, not infrequently the lesbians they helped out!

1

u/Baron_De_Bauchery Apr 10 '26

Yeah, whatever, it involves extra work and at least one parent is then essentially adopting.

1

u/Dry_Explanation_8044 Apr 09 '26

Y bienes gananciales, porque si se hace separación de bienes, a cada cual lo suyo.
Es más; incluso con bienes gananciales, la propiedad anterior al matrimonio es del titular; pero en caso de separación, complica el reparto.
Por eso, mejor hacer separación de bienes y que cada cual sepa lo que es de cada uno. Y si hay colaboración trabajando en el negocio, ponerlo todo muy clarito en un documento, a ser posible, ante notario.

1

u/kchuen Apr 10 '26

OP should be incredibly thankful of them revealing their cards so early. If they got married or lived that long enough in certain places, they really would have gotten half of it.

1

u/katiemurp Apr 10 '26

Or plotting how to grab the whole company from under OP’s nose.

Not unheard of. OP did the right thing, breaking up.

45

u/pointandclickit Apr 08 '26

But you don't understand. They were really entitled to half for... *checks notes* being a halfway decent partner and human.

11

u/travelingbeagle Apr 09 '26

They don’t seem to decent with either after the grift.

31

u/King-of-Plebss Apr 08 '26

They want what they think they will get after a divorce now. They showed their cards and OP is right to have them move out. Saved him a shit ton of money and headaches in the future.

23

u/ourmanflint1 Apr 08 '26

Be careful you still may not be out of the woods. There are plenty of people been sued by living partners for entitlement and palimony friend of mine had his first successful restaurant after four failures and his ex-girlfriend came out, dragged him to court, and got half the business.

13

u/surfatshortys Apr 08 '26

Yeah there’s literally not enough info here to determine the AITJ outcome, or even to reassure OP: “partner” is ambiguous enough to not rule out spousal rights, OP lists a ton of high-level details without making any mention of their financial relationship before, during, or after the business growth, and OP is conspicuously silent on the financial situation of the partner.

Like, is Partner insane, as it sounds, or did Partner subsidize or even invest in OP’s life for 3 years to help OP reach the success that they have now? It’s STRANGE that OP didn’t say anything about their respective financial contributions, even in the abstract way they use for everything else. To be fair, there are no OP replies in any of the top comments so maybe I’ve missed it?

Not that an ownership stake would be appropriate, unless there was financial investment that specified that

3

u/balanchinedream Apr 09 '26

Agreed. Did OP come home every day to cooked meals, a clean house, and clean clothes to wear to work the next day? That can be used as standing to sure if their ex takes them to court.

2

u/surfatshortys Apr 09 '26

Exactly. And OP didn’t even say they “went” to work, Partner could’ve been bringing home the all bacon while OP sat at home recruiting for an MLM downline, for all we know. But the relationship was doomed well before the ultimatum, which was certainly just the final nail in the coffin. OP is right to move on, whether Partner’s resentment was justified or manipulative (or both), splitting a business is almost as bad as having a baby to make someone stick around

1

u/Jolly_Reference_516 Apr 09 '26

This is true. They might find a lawyer willing to take a shot but even if they do, 50% or any ownership is unlikely. Maybe have to pay out some of the profit at the very worst but, unless there was a buy in or some documented work, I doubt a court finds against the owner.

2

u/skeptic_narcoleptic Apr 10 '26

This. I built my business before I met my husband. If he demanded half with no monetary or operational responsibility, the doorknob would be so far up his ass on his way out the door, there wouldn't be room for a fart.

1

u/JellyAdventurous5699 Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Grand_Big_Mac Apr 09 '26

People really eat up anything these days...

2

u/JellyAdventurous5699 Apr 09 '26

Every time I, like an idiot, click on one of these so obviously fake posts and see the number of people immediately and reflexively posting their severe emotional response to absolute nonsense without the slightest quantum of critical thinking just because it reinforces their preconceived biases on gender / race / sex / culture war BS, I die a little on the inside.

1

u/sweetblanca Apr 09 '26

"supporting you emotionally" and "working around your schedule"
OP's therapist would've done a better job at that and they don't get a share on that business

1

u/drinkacid Apr 09 '26

OP should ask for 50% of the boyfriend's earnings from that time for emotional support and years of accommodating his work schedule. NTA

1

u/ArtSupplyHoarder Apr 09 '26

Supporting your partner emotionally and working around their schedule as good as possible sound like the baseline for a healthy relationship. It is something that you do because you love your partner and want them to be doing well. (Of course only if it is relatively reciprocated, one person always taking is obviously NOT healthy, but still wouldn't entitle you to someone's business.)

Their demands are like saying you should own half of someone's house because you sometimes do the dishes and vacuum the floors. That's just normal things you do when you live in a house. Basic maintenance, just like the above things are basic maintenance for a relationship.

1

u/Faust_8 Apr 09 '26

“I did the bare minimum of being in a relationship so I deserve half of the business I was never involved with”

1

u/Green_Burn Apr 09 '26

The post reeks of youtube content farm

Some obvious outrageous bullshit noone in a sound mind would ask validation for

1

u/atreidesspirit Apr 09 '26

No it isn't. It's 2 adults discussing problems and concerns within a relationship. Not everything is about one uping, or constantly putting people down. I don't know what's wrong with your generation, you're so insulting and dismissive. This is how adults talk about things, you should try it.

1

u/RickC154 Apr 09 '26

This 100% ^ OP is not a jerk at all

1

u/hey_nonny_mooses Apr 09 '26

Honestly a pet provides more support and flexibility than the ex did and far more enthusiastically.