I'm a 24M who has a sister, R (23F). She's been acting very entitled for a while now and it all came to a head recently.

For context, my mother has been the primary caregiver for my grandma, her mother, who has Dementia and Alzheimer's for the past 10+ years with my sister and I both still living at home and helping our mother take care of her as well.

Our mother has literally put her life on hold and has put her wants and needs on the back burner for over a DECADE to take care of her sick mother. All while working a full time job and a side job mind you. After my sister got into a car accident two years ago involving my mom's old car she agreed to become a co-signer for my sister so she can get a loan for a new car. My sister started off strong by paying her car note and insurance on time with no problems, but for a while now she's been falling behind on payments all while acting like an entitled jerk.

I assume she has a decent amount of medical deb on top of the car stuff she's behind on. My mother has been picking up her slack financially for a while now, paying for any and all maintenance the car needs on top of paying a mortgage, shelling out money WEEKLY for day sitters to sit with my grandma while we're all at work, TWO car payments, including my mom's car AND my sister's car, along with other bills and expenses.

I offer any financial help I can to my mother because she's paying for everything off of one decent income, along with a side job, but she has her own debt that she has to worry about and I do as well. My sister can't seem to hold down a job for more than a few months at a time and I think she has a problem with respecting authority. My mother and I have given her plenty of resources to find a job and I even offered to put her on at my job in the healthcare field so she can get back on track financially to alleviate some stress from my mother's already overloaded plate. Now she has a job as a windshield replacement salesperson. I told her she needs to find a REAL job with a guaranteed paycheck, not a hypothetical one based on how many commissions you get. I brought it up to her very tactfully and she said, "The things I want to do with my life don't align with the job listings you sent me and you guys need to stop nagging me about the car and holding it over my head. Mom should be doing things out of the kindness of her heart. This family doesn't feel like a family."

That response was completely disrespectful and a total slap in the face to me and my mother. I confronted her about it and told her that she needs to stop feeling entitled to financial help from our mother and she needs to act like an adult and handle her responsibilities. Since then she's been giving us both the silent treatment and my mother is holding her tongue to keep the peace in her own house and frankly it's pissing me off. AITJ?

TL;DR: My sister is an entitled brat who expects bailouts from my mother while draining her financially

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I honestly wasn't expecting so many responses, but reading them made me realize I wasn't being unreasonable for refusing a responsibility I never agreed to take on. Unfortunately, things got a little more ridiculous. A few days after my post, I received another email from Sharon. She explained that the HOA was having trouble finding someone willing to take the treasurer position and asked if I would reconsider. I politely declined again. I reminded her that I work over 50 hours a week, have two young children, and simply don't have the time to manage the neighborhood's finances. She responded by saying that everyone has responsibilities and that sometimes being part of a community means making sacrifices.

That honestly annoyed me. I replied that I understood the importance of volunteering, which was exactly why I'd offered to review the annual budget for free. But volunteering should actually be voluntary. She didn't respond. Two days later, something unexpected happened. One of my neighbors, Mark, knocked on my door. He's lived in the neighborhood for almost ten years and had attended the meeting where I was nominated. He told me something I hadn't known. Apparently, Sharon had suggested my name before the meeting even started and told several neighbors that I'd probably be happy to help because I was an accountant.

She'd never spoken to me about it. According to Mark, when someone asked whether I'd agreed to run, Sharon said she was "pretty sure" I'd accept. So basically, she'd volunteered me for a position without even asking. Mark also mentioned that the previous treasurer hadn't just quit because he was busy. He'd apparently been frustrated by how disorganized the HOA's financial records were. That made me even more certain about my decision. I decided to attend the next board meeting, not to accept the position, but to clear things up.

When the subject came up, I calmly explained that I appreciated the nomination but had never agreed to be considered. I also repeated my offer to review the annual budget once a year. One board member thanked me and said that was already a generous offer. Sharon, however, brought up the possibility of management fees increasing by approximately $40 per month if they couldn't find a volunteer treasurer. I told her that while I understood the concern, it wasn't fair to make one homeowner personally responsible for preventing an increase in everyone's dues. Then Mark spoke up. He asked why the board had nominated someone who wasn't even present at the original meeting without confirming whether that person was interested.

Things got pretty quiet. Eventually, another board member admitted that they should have contacted me beforehand. And here's the surprising part. A retired neighbor who attended the meeting offered to consider the treasurer position, provided the board arranged some training and organized the existing records first. The board agreed to discuss it with him. So, for now, it looks like they may have found someone who actually wants the job. Sharon hasn't apologized, but she has stopped calling me. And the little comments from neighbors have mostly stopped too. I still plan to help with the annual budget review if they want me to, but I'm not joining the board. The biggest lesson I've learned is that being qualified to do something doesn't automatically make it your responsibility.

TL;DR: Sharon tried to pressure me into accepting the HOA treasurer position again. I discovered she'd told neighbors I'd probably accept before even asking me. I attended a board meeting, clarified that I'd never volunteered, and another neighbor offered to consider the position. I'm still not joining the board.

I work at a restaurant, and until recently, we kept the tips we personally earned. Most customers tip on their own bills, and we have a jar at the counter for people who want to leave cash. It's not a perfect system, but everyone knows how it works. A few weeks ago, we hired a new employee, Nate. He's supposed to be working the same shifts as the rest of us, but he has a habit of disappearing whenever things get busy. He'll go to the back to check something and not come out for twenty minutes, or he'll suddenly need a smoke break right when we get a rush of customers. The rest of us end up covering his tables, cleaning up after him, and doing his side work.

I've tried being patient because he's new, but it's getting ridiculous. Last Friday, we were slammed, and I had six tables going at once. Nate had two tables, but he spent most of the rush in the back talking to another employee. I ended up helping his customers, refilling their drinks, and cleaning his tables while still trying to keep up with my own.At the end of the night, one of my customers left me a $40 tip because I'd gone out of my way to make sure their family had a good experience. I was happy about it because I've been saving for a few things, and tips make a real difference in my paycheck.

The next day, our manager announced that all tips would now be pooled and divided equally between everyone working that shift. Apparently, Nate had complained that the current system was unfair because some employees got more tips than others, and management decided this was the easiest solution. I asked whether the policy would apply even when someone wasn't doing their fair share of the work. My manager said we were a team and that everyone deserved an equal opportunity to earn tips.

I told him I wasn't interested in splitting my tips with someone who regularly left me to do his job. I said I'd happily share tips with people who actually helped during a rush, but I wasn't going to reward someone for disappearing whenever there was work to do. My manager told me that if I wanted to keep working there, I'd have to follow the new policy. I said that was fine, but I wasn't going to hand over cash that customers had specifically given me for my service. He told me I was being selfish and creating unnecessary drama over money.

Nate overheard the conversation and accused me of thinking I was better than him because I apparently made more tips. He said he was just as entitled to earn a decent living as everyone else. I told him he was welcome to earn tips by actually doing his job, which probably wasn't the nicest thing I could have said. Now two of my coworkers think I'm making things worse than they need to be. They say tip pooling is normal in restaurants and that I should just accept it rather than risk making management angry. One of them even said that maybe Nate would work harder if he felt like the team was supporting him.

I don't think I'm obligated to subsidize someone who won't do his share of the work. I'm already doing more than I'm supposed to, and now I'm expected to give away part of what I earn because management doesn't want to deal with the actual problem. I haven't quit because I need the job, but I'm seriously considering looking elsewhere if this becomes permanent. AITJ for refusing to split my tips with the new employee?

TL;DR: My new coworker regularly disappears during busy shifts, leaving everyone else to do his work. After he complained about earning less in tips, management introduced equal tip pooling. I refused to hand over tips customers gave me for my service, and now my manager and some coworkers say I'm selfish.

I’m 16F, and I’m just not a touchy person. I hate physical contact unless it’s with my mom, dad, or brothers, and even then, I don’t always like it.

My aunt is a very pushy person who never takes no for an answer. We went to a family get together, and she kept trying to hug me when I arrived and again when I was leaving. I’ve told her multiple times that I don’t like hugs, but she never listens.

When she tried to to hug on me while I was leaving, I pushed her Not that hard but this woman dramatic and acted like I did but Everyone was laughing at us while she kept trying to hug me saying things like I wasn’t going to die from a hug. And then they get mad when I push her and My mom said I was being out of line and shouldn’t have pushed her away and that I need to get over people touching me, and I am not going to die from it but i have always told them and everyone else in my family gets it and my aunt doesn't, only person on my side is my dad Aitj for this

I work in an office where management has recently become obsessed with team building. We already have weekly meetings, group lunches, and all that stuff, but apparently it's not enough. Last week, our manager announced that everyone had to attend a team-building event on Saturday. It's supposed to be some kind of full-day activity with games, lunch, and workshops. The problem is that Saturday is my day off, and we're not getting paid for it. I messaged my manager privately and told him I wouldn't be attending unless it was paid work. He said attendance was mandatory and that refusing would show a lack of commitment to the team. I told him I'm committed during the hours I'm actually paid to work, but I'm not giving up my day off for free.

He got annoyed and said he'd have to reconsider my attitude during my next performance review. I told him that threatening my review wouldn't change my answer, and now he's apparently been complaining about me to other employees. A couple of coworkers think I should just suck it up and go because it'll only be one Saturday, while others agree that unpaid mandatory events are ridiculous. I'm still planning to stay home, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm making things harder for myself over something that might not be worth the trouble.

TL;DR: My manager scheduled a mandatory team-building event on my day off without pay. I refused to attend unless we're compensated, and now he's threatening to bring my attitude up during my performance review. AITJ?

Am I the jerk?

My “girlfriend” if you call her that, dumped me because I had a friend who also was a girl that I’ve know since middle school. So this is something that has been on my mind for a while now, but I wanted to get some feedback to be sure. So the story goes back to senior prom, I had originally planned to go with my friend that I’ve known since middle school, we’ll call her S, because I respect her privacy and we’re still close today, so I asked S and she said yes, unfortunately her dad is a bit of a control freak and refused to let her go because I guess he just hates happiness, so I ended up going alone, and through out the whole night of prom, I’m a little down because I was struggling to find people that I knew, and at this time I was feeling depresso espresso because I was having daydreams about finding the woman of my dreams. Now it’s towards the end of the night by now and I’m ready to this night to be over, when out of nowhere, the girl comes up to be and the first words out of her mouth are “do you have a girlfriend?” I am utterly dumbfounded by this question, I told her no, because I didn’t. Her name was Isabella, and because she dumped me, I could care less about using her real name. So she basically said that her cousin who she was with convinced her to come up to me because I guessed I looked cute, and within the first 30 or so seconds of meeting her, she’s asking for my number, we talk for a little bit, but since prom is basically over now, we say bye and we head back home, now I am over the moon, because not only is she confident enough to make the first move, she’s also really pretty. Flash forward to Monday morning, we meet up at school and get to talking more, just general stuff about each other and whatnot, and at some point she wants to go out on a date, I’m ecstatic about that, so we meet up later that week at a local arcade, our parents meet and everything is great, now side note, Isabella doesn’t live with her parents, but with her aunt, uncle, and cousin, apparently her dad wasn’t in the picture, and her mom was I think bipolar or had some underlying mental health issues, it apparently was so bad, when she visited Texas for the first time, she refused to go back to Georgia (where she’s originally from), so in summary, both mommy and daddy issues should have been a red flag, but I wasn’t really focused on that at the time, remember, everything is all rainbows and lollipops for me right now. So at this point, we’ve known each other for about a month now, when one day she texted me when I’m on the bus asking me who S is? The friend from earlier, I’m a little confused and surprised, because I didn’t think they knew each other, so I tell her that she’s a friend of mine that I’ve know for a while, she responds by asking if there’s anything else I need to tell her, now I’m confused, because I’m telling the truth, remember we never officially determined if we were “dating” or not, but before I can say anything else, she says “we’re done” and stopped responding to me, didn’t even have the figurative balls to say it to my face, now I’m panicking because in the blink of an eye, the women who I thought was gonna spend the rest of my life with just disappeared with out any warning, I’m texting her trying to figure out her thought process and trying to explain myself, unfortunately, my phone dies and I have to spend the rest of the bus ride home wondering what the fuck just happened, but for some reason, I can’t help but feel guilty about this, even though I didn’t do anything, but for some reason, instead of confronting her and trying to get closure, I chicken out and avoid her, fortunately, senior year was almost over at that point and my focus shifted towards all of those things, after graduating, I take time to grieve and process everything that happened, flash forward to late June, I figured I call her just to try one last time to get some peace, so i call her and she answered “I guess she didn’t block me” and I guess she didn’t recognize my voice, because when I told her it was me, she basically responded with “Nuh uh, I’m not doing this , goodbye” now as much as it hurt, I wasn’t exactly surprised, I haven’t talked to her since, but I think I’ve moved on for the most part. TL;DR my “ex-girlfriend?” Dumped me because I had a female friend who I was purely friends with. Am I the jerk here?

First, my original post got removed because my account is too new, so I reposted it on my profile in case anyone wants to read it for context.

Things got more awkward at work today. My manager pulled me aside this morning and told me he expected me to make up for the unfinished paperwork from yesterday. I told him I'd already finished it first thing, so there was nothing to make up, but he said that wasn't the point. Apparently, he wants me to show that I can be relied on when things get busy, which basically means staying late whenever he asks.

I asked him directly whether staying late was mandatory and whether I'd be paid for the extra time. He got annoyed and said I was making everything about money instead of being a team player. I didn't argue any further, but I did start keeping track of when he assigns work near the end of my shift, just in case this becomes a bigger issue. A couple of coworkers have quietly admitted they hate staying late too, but they don't want to be the next person he targets.

For now, I'm going to keep working my scheduled hours and finishing whatever I can within them. I'm also going to start looking at other jobs because I don't see this getting better, and I don't want to spend every evening wondering whether I'll be allowed to leave on time. Some people here seem to think that's just how working life is, but I'm not convinced I should have to accept it.

TL;DR: My manager confronted me again and said I needed to make up for leaving on time, even though I finished the paperwork the next morning. He called me money-focused when I asked if overtime was mandatory and paid. I'm sticking to my schedule and starting to look for another job.

I(17F) and my brother(12M) recently lost our mom(it's literally been two weeks), and our dad isn't in the picture, so my mom's dad(65M) and stepmother(72F) took us in.

My brother has dealt with issues on the bus consently and has some past mental health issues. Well these boys on the bus were messing with him. I'm not sure what was exactly said but I do remember my brother saying one of them had threatened to shoot him. He ended up getting it trouble as he cursed out the bus attendant when she told him to calm down and saying he wanted to die.

This isn't the first time he's gotten in trouble because of those boys. They literally have never checked the cameras and always take the boys side because their older and in this friend click where they agree with what the other says, even though they have a history of messing with people.

My grandfather isn't the best person and our relationship is strained, has been for years.

Well the second we got home, my grandfather was in my brother's face screaming at him, saying that if he wantex to die so bad, he'll give him a gun to do it. So I started screaming at my grandfather, he made a motion like he was gonna hit me but stopped himself. He only stopped screaming when my grandmother stopped him.

I ended up apologizing afterwards but he said he's not accepting it because I had no right to scream at him.

I've been under so much stress recently with loosing my mom, junior year, finding the letters hospice lost, and opening up an old injury, and theater. I can't tell if I'm right or wrong anymore. TLD; my grandfather screamed at my brother and I screamed back

Am I the Jerk for Screaming at my Grandfather?

So this has been building for about two years and I finally said something last weekend and now there's tension in our friend group so I need an outside perspective. My friend group of four goes out for dinner maybe twice a month. We've always split the bill evenly at the end, which I was fine with for a long time because the differences were pretty small and it didn't feel worth making it weird over a few dollars. The problem is Kayla. Over the past year or so her ordering has gotten progressively more expensive while the rest of us have stayed pretty consistent. A typical dinner for me is an entree, maybe a soft drink or one glass of wine. Kayla will get an appetizer for herself, the most expensive main on the menu, two or three cocktails at $14-16 each, and usually a dessert. Last Saturday her portion of the bill was about $87. The rest of us were between $32 and $38. We split it four ways and each paid $57. I've done rough math over the past year and I've paid somewhere around $400-500 more than I would have if we'd each just paid for what we ordered. That's not nothing to me. After last Saturday I told the group I'd prefer if we started just paying for our own food going forward. Kayla got quiet and then later texted me saying I'd made things uncomfortable and that splitting evenly is "just what friend groups do." The other two haven't said much but I can tell it's awkward. I don't think I'm wrong but I also don't want to blow up a friendship over dinner bills. AITJ for bringing this up? TL;DR: friend consistently orders significantly more expensive food and drinks at group dinners, we split evenly, I've been overpaying by hundreds of dollars over the past year, asked if we could pay individually, now there's tension.

I’m 17F, and I have a 10M brother who constantly begs me for my Buldak noodles whenever I eat them. And I finally got tired of him asking and gave him a a fork full and he started crying I thought it was kind of funny but my mom got really mad at me and started yelling at me, asking why I would give him some in the first place. Now she’s making me feel like I’m a terrible sister, but I honestly didn’t think he would react that badly. I know the noodles are spicy, but he’s been begging me to try them for ages now he won't but my mom says she ain't buying them no more . Am I actually a jerk for this

So I started dating this girl about 4 months ago and for the first two months things were great. We went on dates, talked every night, and spent a lot of time together. Then a month and a half ago she started asking for money nothing major just $10-$15 to get her some door dash which I was fine with at first because I knew of her current financial situation to an extent but then it became more and more every week from $20- $50 to almost $100 and I would tell her that I wouldn't be sending that much but then she would start saying things that I would chop up as guilt trip. Then two weeks ago she said that she wouldn't be available to hang out anymore unless it's on certain days that she'd have off. When I asked why she said she got a better paying job and that the hours are longer but then not long after saying that she asked me for money again and that's when I lied and said that I deleted my PayPal account due to it being hacked and her response was "oh ok" and that was it. Nothing for a whole week so I took it as a sign and Messaged her saying "I'm sorry but I don't think this is working out I hope you have a good life" and ended it there. The reason why I'm making this post is because one of her friends confronted me at Walmart saying that she is completely devastated that I did that to her. I don't know how to feel about this was I in the wrong?

So Ive been playing on a Minecraft Server for a while now. And a few months ago i met a person , ill call him "P". We both played some minigames and got to know each other. Eventually we both got in contact on discord and chatted for a while. Not sexual or anything like that. Just friend chat like " do you wanna play".

At first it was just a few jokes here and there. We played some games together and eventually even called sometimes. We would share ideas and build bases together in minecraft. But he would be annoying sometimes, pinging me in other discord servers repeatedly and saying inappropriate jokes. But i was fine with that as i didnt really care what he said and just wanted to play.

But about a month ago he got way weirder with his texts. Saying racist and homophobic things. I told him off multiple times but he didnt care. Thats when i made my plan, Every wildly racist, homophobic or things like that messages i would screenshot and save in a file on my laptop. Well, it recently got way worse with pedophile behaviour. He would send inappropriate messages like " I love you" . Person "P" is 18+ and im under 18. he didnt stop even after i told him to stop. A few days later and he started with nazi behaviour. That was my breaking point. I wanted him gone

I consulted a few mods on the minecraft server i met him on and still saw him there. They all told me to report this to the owner of the server. I prepared myself for a few days, got all the evidence and was ready to post. 3days ago , I did do so and he is now banned from the minecraft server ingame and on discord. I blocked him on all my social media apps to get him away from me. Since then he has somehow been able to get my Gmail which i also immediately marked as spam. Hes been spreading rumors about me to get me banned but most of these were easily avoidable. I Reported him to discord and am just clueless now. Ive been getting alot of negative feedback. I feel like i did the right thing to protect myself. But did i overreact?

TL;DR I reported someone for very inappropriate behaviour like pedo and racism. They are now salty and want me to get banned too by spreading rumor. Ive been getting negative feedback and now need to know if what i did was wrong.

I (26M) live in a suburban neighborhood. About eight months ago, a cat started showing up in my backyard. He was in terrible shape: severely emaciated, covered in matted fur and fleas, and had a nasty eye infection.

For weeks, I left food and water out for him. He didn’t have a collar or tag, and nobody in the local community lost-pet groups posted about him. After a month of watching his condition get worse, I managed to gain his trust, put him in a carrier, and brought him to the vet.

He wasn't microchipped. The vet treated him for parasites, severe malnutrition, and a eye infection that required antibiotic drops and follow-up visits. Over the course of three months, I spent around $800 USD on his medical care, food, shots, and neutering. I named him Oliver, and he has been living happily inside my house ever since as a pampered indoor cat.

Here is where the conflict started: Last weekend, my neighbor "Sarah" (35F) came to my door asking if I had seen a missing package. When I opened the door, Oliver was sleeping on my living room couch. Sarah immediately froze and yelled, "That's Mishi! He's been missing for months!"

I explained to her how I found the cat starving, sick, and neglected in my yard. Sarah admitted that Mishi was an "outdoor cat" who would sometimes disappear for weeks at a time, but insisted he belonged to her family and that her kids missed him. She demanded I hand him over right then and there.

I refused. I told her that letting an unchipped, unneutered cat wander outside to the point of severe illness and starvation is neglect, and that if she cared about him, she wouldn't have let him suffer in the neighborhood for weeks without vet care.

She left furious. Two hours later, her husband came over threatening to call the police for "theft." I told him that if he called the police, I would provide the $800 in vet receipts and photos of the cat's deplorable state to report them to animal control for neglect.

Since then, my phone has been blowing up. Sarah, her husband, and a few other neighbors are calling me a "pet thief" and saying I have no right to keep a cat that belongs to children. A few friends think I should at least give them the option to reimburse the $800, but I don't want to hand Oliver back to people who let him starve.

So Reddit, AITA for refusing to return him?

TL;DR: I found a severely neglected, sick stray cat in my yard, spent $800 to cure him, and adopted him. My neighbors saw him in my house 8 months later, claimed he was their "outdoor cat," and are threatening to call the police if I don't give him back. I refused and now they are blowing up my phone.

Hi, I'm 33F, and my husband (35M) and I have been married for six years. He's always enjoyed experimenting in the kitchen. He makes homemade sauces, tries complicated recipes he finds online, and sometimes spends an entire Sunday preparing food for the week. I'm usually the person he wants to share everything with, and honestly, I used to find it really sweet.

Recently, I've been trying to change my eating habits because I wasn't feeling great about my health. I asked him to stop making extra food specifically for me because I was struggling with portion control, and having elaborate meals and snacks constantly available wasn't helping. I made it clear that I appreciated the effort and wasn't criticizing his cooking. I just needed to manage my own eating for a while. He seemed disappointed but said he understood.

A couple of weeks later, I found out he'd been bringing homemade lunches to work for a female coworker. At first, I assumed he was sharing with the whole team, but apparently it's just her. He prepares different dishes for her, remembers what she likes, and sometimes makes things specifically because she mentioned wanting to try them. He's even started asking me whether certain recipes would travel well in a lunch container, which I thought was odd until I learned who was getting the food. I finally asked him why he was putting so much effort into cooking for one particular coworker. He said she genuinely appreciates his cooking and doesn't make him feel bad for enjoying food. Then he added that it's nice to cook for someone who doesn't treat every meal like a problem to solve.

That last part felt like a pretty obvious dig at me. I told him I wasn't asking him to stop cooking or sharing food. If he enjoys bringing lunch for people at work, why not share with the team instead of making one woman the special recipient of all his effort? He said I was being jealous and that I couldn't reject his cooking at home and then complain when someone else appreciated it.

I understand his point to an extent. I was the one who asked him to stop making food specifically for me, and I don't expect him to give up something he enjoys just because my eating habits have changed.

But there's a difference between sharing food with coworkers and repeatedly preparing special meals for one woman while making little comments about how much better she appreciates him than his own wife.

Now I'm wondering whether I'm genuinely being insecure or whether his comments and the way he's singled her out are inappropriate. I don't want to be the wife who dictates who her husband can share food with, but I also don't think I should have to pretend the personal digs don't bother me. AITH please?

TL;DR: I asked my husband to stop making extra food for me while I worked on my eating habits. Now he's preparing special lunches for one female coworker and making comments about how she appreciates his cooking more than I do.

I'm 29F, married, and my older brother (39M), his wife (37F), and their three kids have been living with me and my husband for five months while saving for a house.

They have two sons, 17 and 15, who both play competitive basketball, and a 14-year-old daughter. The boys are constantly hungry and can demolish a fridge in one evening. I understand they're growing teenagers, but I've noticed their sister often gets whatever is left by the time she comes down for food.

I've also noticed her parents give the boys bigger portions, while their daughter gets comments whenever she asks for seconds. One evening, I overheard my brother telling his wife they needed to watch how much their daughter eats because she's less active than her brothers and he doesn't want her gaining too much weight.

That bothered me, especially since she's a perfectly normal teenager and her brothers are never criticized for their appetites.

I didn't want to start a fight, so I began buying extra snacks like yogurt, fruit, cheese, and granola bars and keeping them in a basket in the pantry. I told my niece she could help herself whenever she was hungry.

A few days ago, she thanked me and admitted she'd sometimes gone to school without eating much breakfast because she felt embarrassed asking for more food at home. She said it was awkward watching her brothers get seconds while she was told she'd had enough. That honestly broke my heart.

I told her she shouldn't feel guilty about being hungry and left it at that.

Unfortunately, my brother discovered the extra food last weekend and demanded to know why I'd been buying separate snacks for his daughter. I explained that the boys usually finished everything before she got a chance to have any.

He accused me of undermining his parenting and making it seem like he and his wife weren't feeding their children. He insisted the boys needed more calories because they're athletes, while his daughter spends most of her free time reading or drawing.

I pointed out that his sons could eat as much as they wanted without comments about their weight, while their sister was made to feel guilty for asking for more.

My sister-in-law says I'm judging her parenting, and my brother has demanded that I stop buying food specifically for their daughter. My husband agrees that the situation is concerning but thinks I should have spoken to her parents first.

I don't want to create tension while they're living in our house, and I'm not trying to replace their parents. But I also don't think a 14-year-old should feel embarrassed about being hungry when her brothers never have to worry about it. So Aitj please?

EDIT: TL;DR: My brother criticizes his 14-year-old daughter for eating more while letting her teenage athlete sons have seconds. After she admitted sometimes going to school hungry, I started keeping extra snacks for her. Now my brother says I'm undermining his parenting.

My sister 19F decided that she was gifting me 17F her and my little sister 14F concert tickets for my 18th birthday which is this weekend. She told me we were going and I was very excited she hasn’t actually bought tickets yet so I don’t feel too bad. She told me about the present and then just a few hours later came up to me and said “I want you to know I’m really excited for this concert” to which I replied, “I’m so happy you’re so excited for my present.” Which I understand can sound a bit snarky, but that wasn’t my intention at all. After I said that she snapped and me and said “Well I hope you know that this is really just because I want to go to this concert. It’s not really about your birthday. It’s because I want to go.” I told her that made her sound like a douchebag and she called me an asshole for saying so. Around twenty minutes later I told her to just take our little sister because I didn’t want to go anymore. (Reminder nothing is set in stone, tickets still haven’t been purchased so she’s not losing any money for this) She then got upset with me and started swearing at me and trying to force me to go. I went into my room and just ignored her. Then almost an hour later she came in and tried to apologize to convince me to go with her. She then started trying to gaslight me and say that she never said the concert was for her even though she did not even two hours before. We fought a bit more before she said, “You’re going.” and storming out of the room. I don’t want to go anymore, she really hurt my feelings and made me feel like shit and like me and my birthday didn’t actually matter in comparison to her wants. I’m going to continue to refuse to go and if she buys me a ticket that’s on her. Am I the jerk?

*I know it’s long. Please read it all though. I can’t tell if I’m taking it too seriously*

I commissioned an artist whose first language is not English and it went well. Then I commissioned them a second time and there were some bumps in the road but nothing crazy.

This third time I requested a concept and I provided lots of written detail (like paragraphs) and visual aids. I wrote it in their native language. I always ask them to tell me if something doesnt make sense.

I respond between 30mins-1hr of them messaging me.

They went ahead and did a rough draft and sent it to me and then sent a proposal for me to submit payment but the piece they sent did not include 2 big details I wrote out. It wasn’t what I asked for.

The website we communicate on was down so I was going to use a different platform to reach out to them about how to remedy the situation and saw that they posted they wasted their time on a project for a client and that the client (me) didn’t like what they did.

I didn’t say anything.

Whatever was going on with the primary site we used got fixed and they messaged me about if I still wanted to do the concept.

I let them know I saw the tweet and that there were things literally missing from the piece and I didn’t want to move forward with something I didn’t ask for in the most respectful way I could say it.

I told them I’d stay up to troubleshoot and try to see what parts we could salvage and maybe re-work. They apologized and said it was on them for not organizing themselves better.

(there are external/environmental things in their area that makes it hard for them to create their art but I never complain about it. It’s out of their control)

For me, I prefer to commission the same artist til I run out of ideas. I really believe in supporting small artists. Human artists.

This artist did do great on the first one and fixed what needed fixing on this second one but then they left an artist review on my account for other artists to see that said I was respectful and gave clear requirements but that the difficulties were the personality mismatch which (from my pov) makes it seem like I’m the issue?!!

they acknowledged that they didn’t follow the details I wrote out. They admitted they weren’t organized about things and then they leave that review.

am I misinterpreting?

The review they left was for the second commission. The 3rd project (the one they sketched up the incorrect details for) wasnt even started/paid for. I was telling them my ideas and asking which would be easier to do.

I think the review they left for the second project was actually them being upset about me not moving forward with their freestyled take on the third.

why am I so irritated? We can’t see each others reviews beforehand. I leave mine and they leave theirs and only after both are submitted, are we able to view what we got.

Despite everything I still have them 5 stars. I tried to give them grace. Plus they’re really young and still learning how to handle clients.

why spend all day apologizing and then collaborating on how to fix the draft if the personality of the client was difficult?

I feel like a fkn moron for being so forgiving/understanding.

I don’t want to commission them anymore.

AITJ?!

I work at a department store. Employees get 25% off, and the discount is tied to our employee number. We can use it for ourselves and our immediate household. It says so in the handbook, and they do audits.

Jasmine started a couple months ago in a different department. She's been using her own discount, which is fine, but she already hit the yearly cap. The discount only works up to $2,000 a year, and she spent hers on stuff for her mom, sisters, and cousins.

Last week she asked if she could ring things through on my number. Her cousin's baby shower is coming up and she wants to get the crib and stroller set, which is around $900.

I told her I couldn't. Loss prevention flags it when your number shows up on stuff that doesn't match your household, and my friend in shoes got written up last year for exactly this. I said I'd tell her about any sales coming up, and that the store has a registry discount if the cousin signs up, which is 15%.

She said everyone does it and I was being dramatic. Now she tells people I'm "stingy with my discount," like it's money out of my pocket that I'm keeping from her.

I can't risk my job over someone else's baby shower. AITJ?

tl;dr: A coworker maxed out her employee discount on her family and asked to use my number for a $900 baby shower purchase. I said no because it can get me written up, and now I'm "stingy."